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Taken in Hand: A Guide to Domestic Discipline, Power Exchange Relationships and Related BDSM Topics
Jolynn Raymond has written a book that shares the details of her own long lasting domestic discipline marriage and her experience surrounding power exchange relationships. It explains why these unconventional relationships work so well for so many couples. The book is an in-depth tutorial that takes the relationship past the simple act of discipline, to building a rock solid foundation that will ultimately create a deep bond of trust and love between those involved.
Taken In Hand will guide those interested in adding consensual domestic discipline, dominance and submission, and structure to their own relationship through the initial steps of communication, understanding and discovering both partner’s needs, creating mutual and realistic expectations, rules, and consequences, to the inevitable first spanking.
Taken In Hand will prove useful to those just starting out, as well as to those with some experience, as Ms. Raymond outlines the pitfalls, difficulties, and successes she has encountered in her own marriage. She also emphasizes the importance of consent, and pays special attention to the fine line between discipline and abuse.
The last part of the book examines the styles and types of spanking, gives an anal sex tutorial, talks about the responsibilities or being a dominant and gives tips for the submissive partner. Whether you need insight into BDSM as it relates to relationships or are trying to build a domestic discipline marriage from scratch, Taken In Hand will prove to be a comprehensive and practical guide.
Taken In Hand will guide those interested in adding consensual domestic discipline, dominance and submission, and structure to their own relationship through the initial steps of communication, understanding and discovering both partner’s needs, creating mutual and realistic expectations, rules, and consequences, to the inevitable first spanking.
Taken In Hand will prove useful to those just starting out, as well as to those with some experience, as Ms. Raymond outlines the pitfalls, difficulties, and successes she has encountered in her own marriage. She also emphasizes the importance of consent, and pays special attention to the fine line between discipline and abuse.
The last part of the book examines the styles and types of spanking, gives an anal sex tutorial, talks about the responsibilities or being a dominant and gives tips for the submissive partner. Whether you need insight into BDSM as it relates to relationships or are trying to build a domestic discipline marriage from scratch, Taken In Hand will prove to be a comprehensive and practical guide.
- GenresBDSMNonfiction
150 pages, Paperback
First published December 1, 2013
193 people are currently reading
154 people want to read
About the author
Jolynn Raymond
17 books99 followersJolynn Raymond's love of writing began in her early 30s and has been a passion ever since. She loves to read, write, travel the world, and is a history buff. Her genre's cover historical romance, often with a spicy kinky twist to suspenseful paranormal thrillers. Her love of history makes its presence in the books she writes. They are often set in centuries past. She is a lover of art, architecture, and the study of diverse world cultures. She still resides near her childhood home with the love of her life, her two spoiled cats and their gnome, Gerome.
Her favorite quote is: "Well-behaved women seldom make history." -- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Her favorite quote is: "Well-behaved women seldom make history." -- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
January 20, 2014
A nonfiction guide to DD and BDSM based on the author's personal experiences. Enjoyed the psychology of it. The author is in an F/F relationship, but this book also would apply to M/F & M/M.
February 1, 2014
For anyone curious about the day to day realities of a Domestic Discipline relationship, Ms. Raymond has penned just the book for you. The author (who is Dominant) is in an FF DD/BDSM relationship, but the vast majority of what's contained in this book is applicable to any sort of couple, regardless of gender.
It's written in a direct, very accessible way, and what most struck me while reading it was the combination of no-nonsense honesty, and an overarching positivity regarding what DD can bring to both members of a couple. There is a comprehensive list of duties and consequences/punishments that I found both fascinating and, umm ... okay I'll say it -- it was really hot too. That portion of the book is worth the price of admission alone, but there is a LOT more that's great too. There are several appendices that address subjects that are oriented more toward BDSM (i.e. right up the alley of pervs like me), including an excellent one on anal sex/play.
If you are wondering what DD might be like, or would like to do some research on the subject, I can't think of a better place to start. This is a great book. Buy it now -- you won't regret it.
It's written in a direct, very accessible way, and what most struck me while reading it was the combination of no-nonsense honesty, and an overarching positivity regarding what DD can bring to both members of a couple. There is a comprehensive list of duties and consequences/punishments that I found both fascinating and, umm ... okay I'll say it -- it was really hot too. That portion of the book is worth the price of admission alone, but there is a LOT more that's great too. There are several appendices that address subjects that are oriented more toward BDSM (i.e. right up the alley of pervs like me), including an excellent one on anal sex/play.
If you are wondering what DD might be like, or would like to do some research on the subject, I can't think of a better place to start. This is a great book. Buy it now -- you won't regret it.
April 24, 2019
Valuable comments from a DD practicing couple.
Domestic Discipline applies to any gender couples and the information in this book is relevant whether the dominant or the submissive are male or female. While the book is from a bdsm couple I liked the fact that the author refers to Domestic Discipline as being part of their loving couple first of all. She makes very practical statements about their own relationship that are useful to readers interested in a D/s partnership to reflect about the kind of relationship they would like.
Domestic Discipline applies to any gender couples and the information in this book is relevant whether the dominant or the submissive are male or female. While the book is from a bdsm couple I liked the fact that the author refers to Domestic Discipline as being part of their loving couple first of all. She makes very practical statements about their own relationship that are useful to readers interested in a D/s partnership to reflect about the kind of relationship they would like.
August 8, 2025
This book could use a good edit, as it swings wildly between punishment, funishment, basic bdsm terms, how to do anal, and a bit into how people should approach a mistress. It's a huge ramble about spanking with not a lot of info and a whole lot of repetition.
October 17, 2023
Useful introduction
The book is written by a mental health professional and was very helpful and informative. I would highly recommend it to anyone curious about Taken In Hand relationships.
The book is written by a mental health professional and was very helpful and informative. I would highly recommend it to anyone curious about Taken In Hand relationships.
September 5, 2025
A Refreshing Point of View in Kink Lit
Jolynn Raymond's Taken In Hand is an honest, grounded, and deeply practical guide to power exchange and domestic discipline, rooted in real experience and affection. Far from fantasy or sensationalism, it’s a deliberate, lived-in exploration of building enduring trust through consensual structure and discipline.
The strength of this book lies in its step-by-step guidance: from establishing clear communication, understanding each partner’s needs, setting realistic rules and consequences—to that pivotal moment when discipline begins. Raymond steers readers through the emotional and logistical aspects, sharing both the pitfalls and triumphs of her long-lasting DD marriage.
What stands out is her unwavering emphasis on consent and the fine line between discipline and abuse. She doesn’t shy away from practicalities either, offering insight on spanking styles, responsibilities of a dominant, tips for submissives, and even candid discussions around anal sex.
This guide isn’t just for newbies; it’s rich with nuance for anyone experienced in BDSM relationships seeking to deepen trust or structure.
✨ Why I Picked This Up: I was intrigued by kink literature that balances eroticism with real-life structure and emotional stakes. Taken In Hand surpassed expectations.
Jolynn Raymond's Taken In Hand is an honest, grounded, and deeply practical guide to power exchange and domestic discipline, rooted in real experience and affection. Far from fantasy or sensationalism, it’s a deliberate, lived-in exploration of building enduring trust through consensual structure and discipline.
The strength of this book lies in its step-by-step guidance: from establishing clear communication, understanding each partner’s needs, setting realistic rules and consequences—to that pivotal moment when discipline begins. Raymond steers readers through the emotional and logistical aspects, sharing both the pitfalls and triumphs of her long-lasting DD marriage.
What stands out is her unwavering emphasis on consent and the fine line between discipline and abuse. She doesn’t shy away from practicalities either, offering insight on spanking styles, responsibilities of a dominant, tips for submissives, and even candid discussions around anal sex.
This guide isn’t just for newbies; it’s rich with nuance for anyone experienced in BDSM relationships seeking to deepen trust or structure.
✨ Why I Picked This Up: I was intrigued by kink literature that balances eroticism with real-life structure and emotional stakes. Taken In Hand surpassed expectations.
August 26, 2025
I think I wanted to like this book more than I did. At first I was wavering between 2 or 3 stars. But I ended up rounding down because I just don't feel like the value is here compared to other texts (even of similar length).
1. This book is very repetitive. While I can appreciate the notation that consent is important, the author basically YELLS it almost every chapter.
2. Anal sex and anal play seems to be a very common theme in this book. Which yes, can be a part of DD, but it feels like an odd thing to focus on and it comes up frequently.
3. Some of the chapters feel like they cover the exact same themes ("Life in My Domestic Discipline Household" page 17 and "Power Exchange Means Give and Take" page 143).
I did really enjoy the first few chapters (and that was what made me consider 3 stars to start), especially the list of responsibilities. I appreciate that the author delved into what the role is of a Dominant rather than just focuses on what to look for in a submissive. This is sadly overlooked in some books.
However, the thing that really stuck out to me was the author seemed to be writing this book as a very 101 entry-level text, and yet (which explains the harping on consent), however they covered some "expert level" ideas (like consensual-non-consent) and did not explain some basic concepts (like calling themself a "sadist" but not really bothering to explain what that means in a consensual framework).
Overall: I can see how this book would be interesting to folks interested in a DD relationship specifically, (and this concept is covered rather vaguely in most kink nonfiction), but I think this being the sole text does the reader a disservice.
1. This book is very repetitive. While I can appreciate the notation that consent is important, the author basically YELLS it almost every chapter.
2. Anal sex and anal play seems to be a very common theme in this book. Which yes, can be a part of DD, but it feels like an odd thing to focus on and it comes up frequently.
3. Some of the chapters feel like they cover the exact same themes ("Life in My Domestic Discipline Household" page 17 and "Power Exchange Means Give and Take" page 143).
I did really enjoy the first few chapters (and that was what made me consider 3 stars to start), especially the list of responsibilities. I appreciate that the author delved into what the role is of a Dominant rather than just focuses on what to look for in a submissive. This is sadly overlooked in some books.
However, the thing that really stuck out to me was the author seemed to be writing this book as a very 101 entry-level text, and yet (which explains the harping on consent), however they covered some "expert level" ideas (like consensual-non-consent) and did not explain some basic concepts (like calling themself a "sadist" but not really bothering to explain what that means in a consensual framework).
Overall: I can see how this book would be interesting to folks interested in a DD relationship specifically, (and this concept is covered rather vaguely in most kink nonfiction), but I think this being the sole text does the reader a disservice.
August 15, 2019
Well Written and Informative
As a submissive I read along with Daddy we both agreed on a lot of points and now have an Cozi that we thing will be super helpful because I have issues with time management. I tend to do everything in the house at once and then hurt for days afterwards. Not a good thing. Hopefully this website recommended will be good for both of us to find others in our area.
As a submissive I read along with Daddy we both agreed on a lot of points and now have an Cozi that we thing will be super helpful because I have issues with time management. I tend to do everything in the house at once and then hurt for days afterwards. Not a good thing. Hopefully this website recommended will be good for both of us to find others in our area.
January 21, 2023
Recommended by a friend. Interesting book on an alternative lifestyle.
July 2, 2024
Great guide to DD from a loving couples perspective.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews