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Single Today: Conquer Yesterday's Regrets, Ditch Tomorrow's Worries, and Thrive Right Where You Are
An empowering guide to the gift of singleness that will help you leave shame in the past and let go of anxiety about the future in order to thrive today —from a thirtysomething single pastor who understands that the struggle is real.
Ryan Wekenman has been an unmarried pastor for over a decade. He's heard all the usual "Are you dating anyone? Any wedding plans in the future?" But he knows the real question they're asking is, "Hey, do you think you'll be single for the rest of your life?"
Ryan believes that singleness isn’t a curse to endure. Rather, it’s a gift to enjoy, even if at times it can be hard to see it that way. But he has discovered firsthand—and from hundreds of meetings with other single people—that we are often consumed by regrets or shame from the past, together with worry or fear of the future, making it feel impossible to find peace in the present.
But it doesn't have to be that way. Single Today shares Ryan's perceptive anecdotes, thought-provoking questions, biblical insight, and disarming humor as he invites you into his journey of learning to fully embrace his current reality.
Single Today will encourage you to
No amount of shame will change the past, and no amount of worry will fix the future, but with a little faith and work, you can thrive while being single today.
Ryan Wekenman has been an unmarried pastor for over a decade. He's heard all the usual "Are you dating anyone? Any wedding plans in the future?" But he knows the real question they're asking is, "Hey, do you think you'll be single for the rest of your life?"
Ryan believes that singleness isn’t a curse to endure. Rather, it’s a gift to enjoy, even if at times it can be hard to see it that way. But he has discovered firsthand—and from hundreds of meetings with other single people—that we are often consumed by regrets or shame from the past, together with worry or fear of the future, making it feel impossible to find peace in the present.
But it doesn't have to be that way. Single Today shares Ryan's perceptive anecdotes, thought-provoking questions, biblical insight, and disarming humor as he invites you into his journey of learning to fully embrace his current reality.
Single Today will encourage you to
No amount of shame will change the past, and no amount of worry will fix the future, but with a little faith and work, you can thrive while being single today.
272 pages, Paperback
Published April 23, 2024
34 people are currently reading
266 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 72 reviews
May 31, 2024
Finally a Christian book about singleness from a pastor that’s actually single and currently living these principles! This is the advice I wish I had 10 years ago. It’s so relatable as a single person, but the advice for finding contentment is also very beneficial to any person, no matter what their relationship status is. It reads like you’re talking to a friend. Ryan is vulnerable and shares a lot of his singleness story, and it was refreshing to know that I’m not the only person that has felt many of the same feelings he describes. After finishing the book, I’ve never felt more excited for the singleness season I’m in and all the possibilities it brings!
October 30, 2024
Thanks @prhaudio for the gifted audiobook #PRHAudioPartner
Offering practical wisdom, biblical insights, and humor, it encourages singles to leave shame behind, stop future-focused anxieties, and fully embrace today. Through relatable stories and thoughtful questions, it provides tools to live with purpose and contentment.
I can’t be the only one who goes into books like this skeptically, right? You know what I mean: those self-help reads about uncomfy topics we pick up hoping to feel encouraged but often end up feeling more isolated from what’s “normal.”
I’m happy to say this isn’t one of those books :) Sure, it encouraged me, but more than that, it made me question why I felt I needed encouragement in the first place. Sometimes I wonder if I actually want to be married, or if I just think it’d be easier—especially in ministry. This book didn’t try to give me an answer. It simply asked questions, reminding me I should be stirring the water of my soul with these perspectives more regularly.
The book’s arrangement is clear, thoughtful, and packed with vulnerable and relatable anecdotes that genuinely strengthen the Church’s view of singleness. And BONUS—it’s actually written by a single pastor! Why this feels like a rarity is beyond me (I was at a pastor’s conference a few weekends ago and the person leading the singles breakout session was married 😅). Anyhoo- Whether you’re single by choice, circumstance, or you’re not even single but want to know how to view those who are, give this one a try. I’m not promising butterflies or instant inspiration, but I do promise you’ll gain a deeper awareness of biblical singleness for today.
Perfect for you if you like:
Thought provoking questions for soul care
Honest discussion about relationship identity
Relatable and engaging anecdotes with disarming humor
Similar to:
7 Myths of Singleness by Sam Allbery
Single & Secure by Rich Wilkerson Jr.
Offering practical wisdom, biblical insights, and humor, it encourages singles to leave shame behind, stop future-focused anxieties, and fully embrace today. Through relatable stories and thoughtful questions, it provides tools to live with purpose and contentment.
I can’t be the only one who goes into books like this skeptically, right? You know what I mean: those self-help reads about uncomfy topics we pick up hoping to feel encouraged but often end up feeling more isolated from what’s “normal.”
I’m happy to say this isn’t one of those books :) Sure, it encouraged me, but more than that, it made me question why I felt I needed encouragement in the first place. Sometimes I wonder if I actually want to be married, or if I just think it’d be easier—especially in ministry. This book didn’t try to give me an answer. It simply asked questions, reminding me I should be stirring the water of my soul with these perspectives more regularly.
The book’s arrangement is clear, thoughtful, and packed with vulnerable and relatable anecdotes that genuinely strengthen the Church’s view of singleness. And BONUS—it’s actually written by a single pastor! Why this feels like a rarity is beyond me (I was at a pastor’s conference a few weekends ago and the person leading the singles breakout session was married 😅). Anyhoo- Whether you’re single by choice, circumstance, or you’re not even single but want to know how to view those who are, give this one a try. I’m not promising butterflies or instant inspiration, but I do promise you’ll gain a deeper awareness of biblical singleness for today.
Perfect for you if you like:
Thought provoking questions for soul care
Honest discussion about relationship identity
Relatable and engaging anecdotes with disarming humor
Similar to:
7 Myths of Singleness by Sam Allbery
Single & Secure by Rich Wilkerson Jr.
August 21, 2024
As someone who has viewed my singleness as God’s kindness to me for some time now, I was admittedly skeptical that I’d learn anything I hadn’t heard before, but God quickly humbled me and used Ryan’s candid words and God’s truth to challenge the way I view my inner world, conflict, and friendships. The disarming tone and self-deprecating humor Ryan uses allows this book to function as a tender counselor, ever so gently poking the deepest parts of our soul to help us refocus on Jesus in place of ourselves, so we can experience the abundant freedom offered to us. Also, I’m embarrassed to admit how many times I laughed out loud relating to so many of his stories about being single. It can be wild out there! This would be a great resource for discipling a young adult, but I highly recommend to anyone in any season!
December 3, 2024
**audiobook** 4.5
Some great points for singles in the church today about what to do with the hear and now and how to navigate some of the things that we know we need to do but don’t have as natural of a way to do them without a romantic relationship. It did seem a little repetitive at points, but good analogies and from someone who has and is actually experiencing what he talks about. Love his depiction of Mary.
Would highly recommend for any single in the church!
Some great points for singles in the church today about what to do with the hear and now and how to navigate some of the things that we know we need to do but don’t have as natural of a way to do them without a romantic relationship. It did seem a little repetitive at points, but good analogies and from someone who has and is actually experiencing what he talks about. Love his depiction of Mary.
Would highly recommend for any single in the church!
May 6, 2024
Finally - a book for single people written by single person!! The pages of this text are filled with words of grace, ways to access peace every day during the confusing, frustrating, painful moments of navigating singleness (and just life. This is absolutely a book relatable for non-single people, too.) This book will also have you laughing the whole way through!! The writing makes you feel like you’re sitting down for a cup of coffee and a conversation with a good friend. The author is approachable and fully vulnerable about his own story - allowing readers to connect in a visceral way (you’ll cry at chapters 4 & 5, guaranteed). Chapter by chapter the story opens up to help tactically navigate seasons devoid of contentment through grace and truth, by learning to grasp less and laugh more, and by focusing on all the glory available to us presently today!!
I love that this isn’t just a one-time-read. This book will forever be a resource on my shelf for how to correct those negative & pestering thoughts about singleness by connecting to God, ourselves, and our community. This book is a reminder that a relationship is not a prerequisite for a big full wonderful life! Five stars. Must read. Must graciously gift to any well-meaning family member known to ask, “why are you still single?!” 😉
I love that this isn’t just a one-time-read. This book will forever be a resource on my shelf for how to correct those negative & pestering thoughts about singleness by connecting to God, ourselves, and our community. This book is a reminder that a relationship is not a prerequisite for a big full wonderful life! Five stars. Must read. Must graciously gift to any well-meaning family member known to ask, “why are you still single?!” 😉
July 26, 2024
Ryan, one the pastors at my church, released this book a few months ago! this book is a must read for anyone & emphasizes the idea that we are given what we need to get through our “today”!
Mathew 6 was highlighted all throughout the book! He emphasizes Jesus’s life plus so many other great people in the Bible who were single and lived a full & abundant life. So easily we get in a rut that the future is an enemy because we think we will not experience all that we should but how easy we forget to have an eternal perspective.
— also loved the talk on the universal catch of the “next step”. Dating, Engaged, married, kids….. no one is ever satisfied in the today. “True Contentment isn’t reserved for eternity” we have a Savior that brings contentment in the here and now!!
Mathew 6 was highlighted all throughout the book! He emphasizes Jesus’s life plus so many other great people in the Bible who were single and lived a full & abundant life. So easily we get in a rut that the future is an enemy because we think we will not experience all that we should but how easy we forget to have an eternal perspective.
— also loved the talk on the universal catch of the “next step”. Dating, Engaged, married, kids….. no one is ever satisfied in the today. “True Contentment isn’t reserved for eternity” we have a Savior that brings contentment in the here and now!!
July 26, 2024
Single Today was a fine read. I really enjoyed the beginning of the book, but towards the end felt like it was just too long. I liked how honest the author was about his feelings/struggles and did highlight some quotes I thought were good.
All in all, Single Today was a good read, but not one I found super different on the subject. Good, but similar to other reads. I liked the book.
*Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention/review it. I was not required to give a positive review, only my honest opinion - which I've done. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own and I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.*
All in all, Single Today was a good read, but not one I found super different on the subject. Good, but similar to other reads. I liked the book.
*Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention/review it. I was not required to give a positive review, only my honest opinion - which I've done. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own and I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.*
April 21, 2024
“Single Today” is a refreshing and empowering exploration of the often overlooked and misunderstood season of life: being single. Author Ryan Wekenman gracefully navigates the complexities and insecurities of singleness with wisdom, humor, and profound insight, making this book a valuable resource for anyone navigating the single life.
One of the books greatest strengths is the affirmation of the inherent value and dignity of singleness. What command skillfully dismantles societal misconceptions and pressures surrounding singleness, inviting readers to embrace this season as a time of growth, fulfillment, and deepening of one’s relationship with self and with God.
I commend Wekenman for his vulnerability and authenticity for sharing his personal experiences and struggles; this level of openness invites the reader into a more personal relationship and connection with him. Wekenman does a great job of including practical advice and biblical wisdom to create a holistic and balanced perspective on singleness. From navigating loneliness to finding purpose and identity outside of romantic relationships, each chapter is filled with encouragement and actionable steps for readers to cultivate a meaningful and fulfilling single life.
What sets “Single Today” apart is its emphasis on the potential for joy and abundance in the single life (despite what the world has to say). Wekenman’s intensions is not to persuade the reader out of finding love, but rather being content with singleness. He invites readers to explore their passions, pursue their dreams, and deepen their spiritual life without the limitations often associated with the pressure to finding a romantic relationship.
As someone who is married, I believe this book will serve as a valuable resource for married couples too; fostering awareness, understanding, and the conviction on how to engage with the individuals who are single. Rather than viewing singleness as an issue in need of fixing, the book emphasizes effective communication and mature, gentle responses.
“Single Today” is a light of hope and encouragement for singles at any stage of life. This book offers a road map to finding joy, purpose, and fulfillment in the solo journey. What commands gentle yet empowering voice resonates on every page, reminding readers that singleness isn't something to fear or feel shameful of, but an opportunity for growth, self-discovery, and a deeper walk with God. Highly recommend for anyone seeking to embrace and celebrate the gift of singleness.
One of the books greatest strengths is the affirmation of the inherent value and dignity of singleness. What command skillfully dismantles societal misconceptions and pressures surrounding singleness, inviting readers to embrace this season as a time of growth, fulfillment, and deepening of one’s relationship with self and with God.
I commend Wekenman for his vulnerability and authenticity for sharing his personal experiences and struggles; this level of openness invites the reader into a more personal relationship and connection with him. Wekenman does a great job of including practical advice and biblical wisdom to create a holistic and balanced perspective on singleness. From navigating loneliness to finding purpose and identity outside of romantic relationships, each chapter is filled with encouragement and actionable steps for readers to cultivate a meaningful and fulfilling single life.
What sets “Single Today” apart is its emphasis on the potential for joy and abundance in the single life (despite what the world has to say). Wekenman’s intensions is not to persuade the reader out of finding love, but rather being content with singleness. He invites readers to explore their passions, pursue their dreams, and deepen their spiritual life without the limitations often associated with the pressure to finding a romantic relationship.
As someone who is married, I believe this book will serve as a valuable resource for married couples too; fostering awareness, understanding, and the conviction on how to engage with the individuals who are single. Rather than viewing singleness as an issue in need of fixing, the book emphasizes effective communication and mature, gentle responses.
“Single Today” is a light of hope and encouragement for singles at any stage of life. This book offers a road map to finding joy, purpose, and fulfillment in the solo journey. What commands gentle yet empowering voice resonates on every page, reminding readers that singleness isn't something to fear or feel shameful of, but an opportunity for growth, self-discovery, and a deeper walk with God. Highly recommend for anyone seeking to embrace and celebrate the gift of singleness.
June 5, 2024
This book is clean water for the soul. It disarms quickly any fears and preconceptions with its authenticity and clever humor. Ryan dives deep into his own experiences and has crafted something that truly mirrors the tenderness and accountability of Jesus. This book will gently nudge your soul, help you clear your mind, and give you true liberation in your single season. This book creates space for the roller coaster emotions that often come with singleness and helps ground you on the joyous celebrations that can be a found today. Incredibly grateful to have read it. I’m already looking forward to reading it again.
August 23, 2024
This book, and its author, are a gift. Ryan gives us an unflinching, honest and hopeful book about a subject that our world doesn’t know what to do with. The content is excellent, but Ryan’s also a skilled writer with a compelling rhythm and style. You can read quickly and enjoy the humor and practical action steps, but you can also dive deep into our deepest questions of identity and purpose. Yes this book is about singleness, but it’s for everyone.
February 9, 2025
I’ve never felt more seen and understood.
when jesus says don’t worry about tomorrow i never seem to actually listen to that but there is comfort in focusing on the gratitude of today. how grateful am i that i have so much time and quiet to spend time with jesus in my singleness. and how grateful am i for the community, love, and joy that the city of Austin has given me in a season of loneliness and singleness.
thank you jesus for giving me the gift of singleness to teach me how to slow down and respect the woman you intend for me to be. and thank you jesus for red rocks austin for pushing me to be deeper rooted in my faith every day.
when jesus says don’t worry about tomorrow i never seem to actually listen to that but there is comfort in focusing on the gratitude of today. how grateful am i that i have so much time and quiet to spend time with jesus in my singleness. and how grateful am i for the community, love, and joy that the city of Austin has given me in a season of loneliness and singleness.
thank you jesus for giving me the gift of singleness to teach me how to slow down and respect the woman you intend for me to be. and thank you jesus for red rocks austin for pushing me to be deeper rooted in my faith every day.
June 2, 2025
I started reading this book, because I thought it would make me feel better about being single in the church. This book takes you through a journey that is much deeper than singleness! It gives us an opportunity to slow down and reflect with questions to journal through at the end of each chapter. I loved how he shared so many good truths in the form of stories within his own life, but also backed it up with scripture! It helped me stay engaged and truly understand what he was sharing!
February 23, 2025
I wish I could have read this book years ago. There are so many books out there where it’s like “Hey, it’s okay to be single, BUT here’s how you can start dating”. This book touches on the insecurities single people have and how to battle them, while also encouraging to use your status a single person to the best of your abilities
May 5, 2024
reading this book felt like breathing in a deep breath of fresh air. there were so many moments i thought, “wait i’m not the only one who feels this way??” just a beautiful and refreshing perspective on living from contentment and presence in singleness.
June 7, 2024
the margins weren’t big enough for all my notes… I journaled my way through this one so I am grateful I didn’t go library or audiobook. I feel seen, validated, hopeful, encouraged and left with tangible advice and steps. Ryan gives you space to process live time as well. So good 🥹
June 24, 2024
Highly recommend! Very thought provoking and a good heart check
February 22, 2025
Absolutely incredible book! I have truly never related more to a book in my life. I needed this book in so many ways without even realizing it. I have a complete mindset shift on singleness now because of this book. Singleness is not a setback. The more we embrace the lessons in this book, the more we will live in the calling God has placed on our lives! Thank you Ryan for this book, your vulnerability, and your testimony.
January 18, 2024
4.5 stars
I decided that this year I need to start living again and this book came at the perfect time! I highlighted so much in my ebook and I loved the writing style. It's conversational with little remarks and thoughts from the author sprinkled throughout. Very casual and approachable.
This book is divided into three parts so I am going to review each part. Parts 1 and 2 are confronting the two enemies to singleness and then everything comes together in part 3.
PART 1
First he addresses the pain of the past. I've been learning to sort through things from my past in the last couple of years. I'm learning to feel, to recognize and name emotions, and to forgive. The big takeaway for me from this part was to not get stuck in the past. I was stuck for a long time and I've been working to get going again so this provided some extra motivation. Some favorite quotes from this section:
"Your past will always be part of your story, but you don't have to let it drive."
"Singleness is a gift. It really is. But if you are single and don't want to be, you probably don't see it that way. Gratitude is the decision to be single today. To play the hand you've been dealt to the best of your ability."
"Do the work, but don't obsess over it. Confront your past, and then be content with where you are. Set up a system, and then trust the process. Be proud of how far you've come, and then laugh about how far you still have to go. Be honest about yesterday, and then release it and practice being single today."
I really appreciated the Grace & Truth segments in this section. I needed to be reminded of those things.
PART 2
Then we shift to the fear of tomorrow. I'm about 50/50 between these two enemies, but my pain from my past influences the things I'm fearful of about the future. It's quite the mess :) The focus here is to calm the storm in your soul from fear of what will happen. I appreciated how he likened this ability to using a muscle. It gets stronger the more you do it. That helps me want to keep trying.
Some points to remember:
- Ask what the panic is trying to teach you.
- Panic is a sign that you're holding something too tightly.
- Every season of life has advantages and disadvantages. Be grateful for what you have and don't think about what you don't.
- There is always something to applaud or celebrate with someone and people always can use some encouragement.
PART 3
Now we get to today. Living presently in the moment. This is what I am trying to learn. The main idea here is to take your focus off of yourself. Life is not about me. I am not here for me. I am here to be Jesus' hands and feet and serve others in His name.
"Today you have an opportunity to share your skills with the world. Instead of being stuck in yesterday or consumed by tomorrow, you can make the conscious decision to live for something greater than yourself by being single today!"
Oh yeah. And my favorite topic ever - conflict. Something else I have been learning about the past few years. I avoided conflict for years but I paid for it. Single or not, if you interact with people, you'll face conflict.
"Maybe Jesus was single to show each person (regardless of relational status) what it looks like to live with a heart wide open to everyone."
This was an amazing book that I will be reading again (and buying). So why didn't I give it five stars? Because of the interludes.
Between each section is an interlude where Ryan talks about each of the interactions that Mary (sister of Martha and Lazarus) had with Jesus. Ryan shows each of his points in Mary's life. I understand what he is doing but it's reading a LOT into the Scriptures and making a lot of assumptions. He may be right, but I just was pretty uncomfortable with it. I didn't like those parts and don't feel like they are necessary to the rest of the book. When I read it again, I probably will skip them.
All in all, though, this is a book that is definitely worth reading and I highly recommend!!!!
Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for a copy of this book. All opinions are my own and a favorable review was not required.
I decided that this year I need to start living again and this book came at the perfect time! I highlighted so much in my ebook and I loved the writing style. It's conversational with little remarks and thoughts from the author sprinkled throughout. Very casual and approachable.
This book is divided into three parts so I am going to review each part. Parts 1 and 2 are confronting the two enemies to singleness and then everything comes together in part 3.
PART 1
First he addresses the pain of the past. I've been learning to sort through things from my past in the last couple of years. I'm learning to feel, to recognize and name emotions, and to forgive. The big takeaway for me from this part was to not get stuck in the past. I was stuck for a long time and I've been working to get going again so this provided some extra motivation. Some favorite quotes from this section:
"Your past will always be part of your story, but you don't have to let it drive."
"Singleness is a gift. It really is. But if you are single and don't want to be, you probably don't see it that way. Gratitude is the decision to be single today. To play the hand you've been dealt to the best of your ability."
"Do the work, but don't obsess over it. Confront your past, and then be content with where you are. Set up a system, and then trust the process. Be proud of how far you've come, and then laugh about how far you still have to go. Be honest about yesterday, and then release it and practice being single today."
I really appreciated the Grace & Truth segments in this section. I needed to be reminded of those things.
PART 2
Then we shift to the fear of tomorrow. I'm about 50/50 between these two enemies, but my pain from my past influences the things I'm fearful of about the future. It's quite the mess :) The focus here is to calm the storm in your soul from fear of what will happen. I appreciated how he likened this ability to using a muscle. It gets stronger the more you do it. That helps me want to keep trying.
Some points to remember:
- Ask what the panic is trying to teach you.
- Panic is a sign that you're holding something too tightly.
- Every season of life has advantages and disadvantages. Be grateful for what you have and don't think about what you don't.
- There is always something to applaud or celebrate with someone and people always can use some encouragement.
PART 3
Now we get to today. Living presently in the moment. This is what I am trying to learn. The main idea here is to take your focus off of yourself. Life is not about me. I am not here for me. I am here to be Jesus' hands and feet and serve others in His name.
"Today you have an opportunity to share your skills with the world. Instead of being stuck in yesterday or consumed by tomorrow, you can make the conscious decision to live for something greater than yourself by being single today!"
Oh yeah. And my favorite topic ever - conflict. Something else I have been learning about the past few years. I avoided conflict for years but I paid for it. Single or not, if you interact with people, you'll face conflict.
"Maybe Jesus was single to show each person (regardless of relational status) what it looks like to live with a heart wide open to everyone."
This was an amazing book that I will be reading again (and buying). So why didn't I give it five stars? Because of the interludes.
Between each section is an interlude where Ryan talks about each of the interactions that Mary (sister of Martha and Lazarus) had with Jesus. Ryan shows each of his points in Mary's life. I understand what he is doing but it's reading a LOT into the Scriptures and making a lot of assumptions. He may be right, but I just was pretty uncomfortable with it. I didn't like those parts and don't feel like they are necessary to the rest of the book. When I read it again, I probably will skip them.
All in all, though, this is a book that is definitely worth reading and I highly recommend!!!!
Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for a copy of this book. All opinions are my own and a favorable review was not required.
November 29, 2023
Finally a book for singles, written by an actual single person!
As a pretty much chronically single person, reading this was such a breath of fresh air. I laughed and cried along with Ryan, because he gets it, possibly even more because he's a pastor. It was so nice to read a book about being single, and just relating to the unique situations that others don't understand, as well as just openly saying maybe you'll be single forever and not beating around the bush on that one.
Honestly, reading this book was so affirming. It was great to have someone acknowledge that things are different for singles, we don't have the same support systems or pushers in our lives, and things can feel stagnant at times. As a fellow introvert, I probably related to this book more than some.
But while the author acknowledges all of these things, he points to God and how our martial status doesn't stop us from living a life devoted to honoring God whatever it holds. This book doesn't tell you how to get in a relationship, and that's why I loved it. Highly recommend!
I received a complimentary copy of this book. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
As a pretty much chronically single person, reading this was such a breath of fresh air. I laughed and cried along with Ryan, because he gets it, possibly even more because he's a pastor. It was so nice to read a book about being single, and just relating to the unique situations that others don't understand, as well as just openly saying maybe you'll be single forever and not beating around the bush on that one.
Honestly, reading this book was so affirming. It was great to have someone acknowledge that things are different for singles, we don't have the same support systems or pushers in our lives, and things can feel stagnant at times. As a fellow introvert, I probably related to this book more than some.
But while the author acknowledges all of these things, he points to God and how our martial status doesn't stop us from living a life devoted to honoring God whatever it holds. This book doesn't tell you how to get in a relationship, and that's why I loved it. Highly recommend!
I received a complimentary copy of this book. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
October 29, 2023
I hope every single adult should take the time to read this book—especially those who question their status and purpose in life every day. I have read books on singleness before and the main difference that this book has is that it acknowledges our status based on the past, present, and future POVs. This makes it more relatable and easier to swallow. Not to mention all the LOL moments I had with this book, too. Fun and lighthearted but also packs an impact on how we all should view our single blessedness.
Thanks to NetGalley and WaterBrook & Multnomah for this ARC in exchange for my honest and unbiased opinion. #SingleToday #NetGalley #WaterBrook #RyanWekenman
Thanks to NetGalley and WaterBrook & Multnomah for this ARC in exchange for my honest and unbiased opinion. #SingleToday #NetGalley #WaterBrook #RyanWekenman
June 23, 2024
Single Today: Conquer Yesterday’s Regrets, Ditch Tomorrow’s Worries, and Thrive Right Where You Are by Ryan Wekenman Book Review
In Single Today, Ryan Wekenman has written a book geared to assist single people in learning to enjoy and thrive in whatever season they are currently in. Everyone has a season of singleness and some people are okay with it and others struggle greatly. He has been single for 34 years and he admits to loving it at least 82 % of the time. Like most he sometimes questions if he will be fine with missing out on a family. He could just enjoy spending time with his nephew and niece. He wonders if he is okay missing out on a deep trust you only build with spending years with a spouse. We often wonder are we running out of time and all the good ones will be taken. He explained their is two enemies to singleness. They are yesterday filled with shame and regret and tomorrow and fearing what’s going to happen in the future. He opened up about how he is a single pastor and at times he even questioned was there something wrong with him. He had people walk up up to him telling him that they would like him to be married by this time next year. Marriage is God’s idea and we are supposed to be fruitful and multiply. He felt the stings of their words and felt his soul would be buried alive with the worries. He opened up about he received help from a spiritual mentor and he helped him by looking at the story of the pool at Bethesda and how he probably had a lot of hope that on day one he would be healed. When that didn’t happen and it took years he must have lost his excitement. This story caused him to do the inner work and he questioned like most of us do is there something wrong with us as to why we don’t have any luck with falling in love. He explored Jesus life and how he was also single and was in ministry. Another big part of the book was how he looked at Mary and Martha and how they both handle things differently. He pulls out key lessons and related the story back to singleness.
One of my favorite discussions was about the system to keep from getting stuck in the past. You can begin your morning by picking three things you’re thankful for. You can end the day by journaling and processing your day and end and begin with gratitude. It will help you to let go of the past to move forward on to a brighter future. I think this is a wonderful tool to use daily and refocus on gratitude. I also liked how he covered Mary’s story and how she had to learn to let go of the past and to discover her purpose. I immensely enjoyed how he related it back to singleness and used to explain some of the topics around it. I liked how he revealed the gift of singleness and others need to recognize that people may have that gift. I can greatly relate to his story and have been single most of my life too. This book is a wonderful encouragement to anyone who is single and will provide them with much needed encouragement. I also liked how he included discussion questions to assist readers in going deeper.
In Single Today, Ryan Wekenman has written a book geared to assist single people in learning to enjoy and thrive in whatever season they are currently in. Everyone has a season of singleness and some people are okay with it and others struggle greatly. He has been single for 34 years and he admits to loving it at least 82 % of the time. Like most he sometimes questions if he will be fine with missing out on a family. He could just enjoy spending time with his nephew and niece. He wonders if he is okay missing out on a deep trust you only build with spending years with a spouse. We often wonder are we running out of time and all the good ones will be taken. He explained their is two enemies to singleness. They are yesterday filled with shame and regret and tomorrow and fearing what’s going to happen in the future. He opened up about how he is a single pastor and at times he even questioned was there something wrong with him. He had people walk up up to him telling him that they would like him to be married by this time next year. Marriage is God’s idea and we are supposed to be fruitful and multiply. He felt the stings of their words and felt his soul would be buried alive with the worries. He opened up about he received help from a spiritual mentor and he helped him by looking at the story of the pool at Bethesda and how he probably had a lot of hope that on day one he would be healed. When that didn’t happen and it took years he must have lost his excitement. This story caused him to do the inner work and he questioned like most of us do is there something wrong with us as to why we don’t have any luck with falling in love. He explored Jesus life and how he was also single and was in ministry. Another big part of the book was how he looked at Mary and Martha and how they both handle things differently. He pulls out key lessons and related the story back to singleness.
One of my favorite discussions was about the system to keep from getting stuck in the past. You can begin your morning by picking three things you’re thankful for. You can end the day by journaling and processing your day and end and begin with gratitude. It will help you to let go of the past to move forward on to a brighter future. I think this is a wonderful tool to use daily and refocus on gratitude. I also liked how he covered Mary’s story and how she had to learn to let go of the past and to discover her purpose. I immensely enjoyed how he related it back to singleness and used to explain some of the topics around it. I liked how he revealed the gift of singleness and others need to recognize that people may have that gift. I can greatly relate to his story and have been single most of my life too. This book is a wonderful encouragement to anyone who is single and will provide them with much needed encouragement. I also liked how he included discussion questions to assist readers in going deeper.
November 26, 2024
This was my first time listening to a book that had to deal with singleness. As a single pastor, Ryan gave some valuable content on the difficulty of being grown and single in a world where relationships are romanticized.
In the beginning, he speaks on the dangers of the past and relates it to stagnant water that needs to be stirred. Making the choice to not engage in our past can lead to present day baggage. We can unnecessarily hold on to bad memories, which consequently triggers us in the present to make irrational decisions. We can take a simple story from when we were growing up and blow up the narrative in the present. He mentioned how adding levity and reality to the situation can be the cure and stir the stagnant water.
He then proceeded to talk about the future. In his continuous analogy, this is the part where we are to calm and still the raging waters. In this section, I was captivated when he began talking about the 'tomorrow trap'. I learned to talk back to the voice that is asking you the spiraling questions.
In the final section, he focuses on what we can do to stay present and embrace our singleness... Today! He spoke on the importance of having community around you who love you for who you are. When we choose to give ourselves to others and serve, we tend to stay away from those traps. Singleness, just like marriage, can be an amazing adventure for us to explore. We still have the job to make deep and personal relationships by being vulnerable. After all, Jesus and Paul are some examples of people who remained single.
My biggest takeaway from the book is that I am not alone. It is okay to be single and take things one day at a time. As I would love to be married one day in the future with potential children, I don't want to wait until then to start embracing life to the fullest. I have permission granted to live a life I love. My prayer is that when I do meet my future spouse, I am at my peak of living my best single life rather than miserable and putting all of the weight on marriage. I am grateful to have read this book and highly recommend this to everyone who wants to enjoy a singleness, today!
In the beginning, he speaks on the dangers of the past and relates it to stagnant water that needs to be stirred. Making the choice to not engage in our past can lead to present day baggage. We can unnecessarily hold on to bad memories, which consequently triggers us in the present to make irrational decisions. We can take a simple story from when we were growing up and blow up the narrative in the present. He mentioned how adding levity and reality to the situation can be the cure and stir the stagnant water.
He then proceeded to talk about the future. In his continuous analogy, this is the part where we are to calm and still the raging waters. In this section, I was captivated when he began talking about the 'tomorrow trap'. I learned to talk back to the voice that is asking you the spiraling questions.
In the final section, he focuses on what we can do to stay present and embrace our singleness... Today! He spoke on the importance of having community around you who love you for who you are. When we choose to give ourselves to others and serve, we tend to stay away from those traps. Singleness, just like marriage, can be an amazing adventure for us to explore. We still have the job to make deep and personal relationships by being vulnerable. After all, Jesus and Paul are some examples of people who remained single.
My biggest takeaway from the book is that I am not alone. It is okay to be single and take things one day at a time. As I would love to be married one day in the future with potential children, I don't want to wait until then to start embracing life to the fullest. I have permission granted to live a life I love. My prayer is that when I do meet my future spouse, I am at my peak of living my best single life rather than miserable and putting all of the weight on marriage. I am grateful to have read this book and highly recommend this to everyone who wants to enjoy a singleness, today!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 14, 2025
We were born to be archeologists of wonder. “The wonder is down there; it’s just covered up by a lot of pessimism, pain, and fear of the future…we can carefully wipe away all of the stuff that was never meant to be there and let the beauty shine.” We just have to be intentional enough to savor its sweetness, aware enough to inhale its fragrance, quiet enough to hear its whisper, and meditative enough to feel its fingerprints on our heart. “The Scientist became a hamster Himself, met me on the wheel, and demonstrated how to step off.” This is the gospel in a “nutshell.”
Ryan Wekenman’s Single Today is an invitation to put your architect hat on and fix “the places in your soul where the water stagnates…dive into the deep water and stir it up by practicing gratitude today. Few things work as rapidly to stir the water in your soul as being thankful for what you have…the type of gratitude that's more of a decision than a feeling. A decision to look for the good in the situation and focus on the things you have today instead of the ones you miss from yesterday.”
“Singleness, like a horror movie, is scariest when you’re experiencing it in isolation…Connection is the secret to being and staying present in the moment–to being single today…At every party, there's the crowd, and then there's the community--the people who stick around to clean up and often end up around a fire.” The night sky winks at us, pinpricks out of our own skull-sized kingdoms and into Kingdom living, daily committing to making life about connecting with others, over and over again.
Ryan Wekenman’s Single Today is an invitation to put your architect hat on and fix “the places in your soul where the water stagnates…dive into the deep water and stir it up by practicing gratitude today. Few things work as rapidly to stir the water in your soul as being thankful for what you have…the type of gratitude that's more of a decision than a feeling. A decision to look for the good in the situation and focus on the things you have today instead of the ones you miss from yesterday.”
“Singleness, like a horror movie, is scariest when you’re experiencing it in isolation…Connection is the secret to being and staying present in the moment–to being single today…At every party, there's the crowd, and then there's the community--the people who stick around to clean up and often end up around a fire.” The night sky winks at us, pinpricks out of our own skull-sized kingdoms and into Kingdom living, daily committing to making life about connecting with others, over and over again.
July 8, 2025
From being the only single person at weddings, to every friend and family member becoming your personal matchmaker, to well-intentioned but ultimately blundered conversations with strangers, Ryan writes from a vulnerable and really funny perspective as a person who has experienced singleness tenfold because of also being a pastor.
I ran out of ink in a brand new highlighter 3/4 through this book because there were so many notable lines and relatable situations. This book gave me beautifully written language to nearly every thought, joy, and worry I’ve had in life and relationships.
Ryan masterfully navigated the good, bad, and uncertain parts of being single in such an empathetic and honing way. There were gentle reminders to be content and optimize life while also thoughtfully challenging long-standing societal viewpoints and harmful personal narratives.
This is a book I will certainly revisit and always have an extra copy of to send to single friends on making the most out of life & to married friends who need a kind invitation to education on singleness.
Also, a small but important note, the designer of this book deserves a high-five: the font and layout of the book is fantastic and pairs so well with the tone and writing-style. It makes a great book even better.
I ran out of ink in a brand new highlighter 3/4 through this book because there were so many notable lines and relatable situations. This book gave me beautifully written language to nearly every thought, joy, and worry I’ve had in life and relationships.
Ryan masterfully navigated the good, bad, and uncertain parts of being single in such an empathetic and honing way. There were gentle reminders to be content and optimize life while also thoughtfully challenging long-standing societal viewpoints and harmful personal narratives.
This is a book I will certainly revisit and always have an extra copy of to send to single friends on making the most out of life & to married friends who need a kind invitation to education on singleness.
Also, a small but important note, the designer of this book deserves a high-five: the font and layout of the book is fantastic and pairs so well with the tone and writing-style. It makes a great book even better.
April 24, 2024
This book is disarming. Approaching it with any sort of past pain, regret, skepticism, or worry about the future… you’re immediately disarmed. In the best way. You’re hit with raw authenticity, ridiculous and relatable humor, and a gentle hug from a friend who’s in it with you. This book gently tears down the walls built up inside from hurt or loneliness and reminds you that a life of contentment and healing and wholeness IS possible (a few things we could literally ALL use, amiright?!)
Oh... and I'M MARRIED! For almost ten years now. I would have LOVED to have the tools provided in this book a decade ago, and I'm excited to use it to love the single people in my life well today. I'm hopeful that it will find its way into the hands of everyone I know.... no matter your relationship status.
Single Today: Conquer Yesterday's Regrets, Ditch Tomorrow's Worries, and Thrive Right Where You Are
Oh... and I'M MARRIED! For almost ten years now. I would have LOVED to have the tools provided in this book a decade ago, and I'm excited to use it to love the single people in my life well today. I'm hopeful that it will find its way into the hands of everyone I know.... no matter your relationship status.
Single Today: Conquer Yesterday's Regrets, Ditch Tomorrow's Worries, and Thrive Right Where You Are
April 25, 2024
The book reads like you just picked up your coffee order at your favorite coffee shop and are about to have a deep and long overdue chat with your best friend. The friend that could charge you for a therapy session because you can just jump right into the nitty gritty and talk for hours working though all the high and low feelings, emotions, and celebrations.
Ryan just GETS IT! The little dark insecurities you never share because you think you're alone. Overthinking something you said on a date, feeling lonely at weddings (for me, it's the father/daughter dance), getting the dreaded "are you dating" question during the holidays, then the following "Awe, you'll find someone, honey". All these (and more) shine bright with Ryan and his vulnerability throughout this book. The "what's wrong with me" mentality that I and so many people live in today because we are so hyper focused on the PAST and the FUTURE, we're not living in the NOW. Ryan depicts these three timeframes with his own experience (relatable) and with the bible (also relatable) and teaches the reader how to own their singleness and share it with the world. This is the book I wish I had at 20.
Ryan just GETS IT! The little dark insecurities you never share because you think you're alone. Overthinking something you said on a date, feeling lonely at weddings (for me, it's the father/daughter dance), getting the dreaded "are you dating" question during the holidays, then the following "Awe, you'll find someone, honey". All these (and more) shine bright with Ryan and his vulnerability throughout this book. The "what's wrong with me" mentality that I and so many people live in today because we are so hyper focused on the PAST and the FUTURE, we're not living in the NOW. Ryan depicts these three timeframes with his own experience (relatable) and with the bible (also relatable) and teaches the reader how to own their singleness and share it with the world. This is the book I wish I had at 20.
October 30, 2025
This book was seriously written for me. I felt called out A LOT, which was honestly what I needed. It was refreshing for this to have been written by a single person who is actively living out these practices and methods shared. I came away from this book with a lot of good applications to my singleness and how to truly surrender it to the Lord instead of dwell and wallow in it. I loved the integration of Mary's story in it and the application questions at the end of each section to organize what you read and practically apply it to your life.
I truly feel as though the Lord led me to this book. I had never even heard of this book or this author until I was in B&N looking in the Christian section and it caught my eye. It was truly the Lord because this book felt so tailor made for me-the amount of times I read it and thought "oh I used to struggle with that" or "wow I was literally just doing that last night" was too many. It's so funny how God speaks to us! While the feelings of loneliness and doubts of getting married will still sneak in, I feel like I have some great tactics to remind myself of God's truth and rely on Him when these feelings come. I'm sure I will be picking up this book again to look at the numerous notes I made during my quiet time. This book was clearly written on Biblical principles and with a lot of realness and heart; thank you, Ryan Wekenman, for having the courage to write this book and share your story!
I truly feel as though the Lord led me to this book. I had never even heard of this book or this author until I was in B&N looking in the Christian section and it caught my eye. It was truly the Lord because this book felt so tailor made for me-the amount of times I read it and thought "oh I used to struggle with that" or "wow I was literally just doing that last night" was too many. It's so funny how God speaks to us! While the feelings of loneliness and doubts of getting married will still sneak in, I feel like I have some great tactics to remind myself of God's truth and rely on Him when these feelings come. I'm sure I will be picking up this book again to look at the numerous notes I made during my quiet time. This book was clearly written on Biblical principles and with a lot of realness and heart; thank you, Ryan Wekenman, for having the courage to write this book and share your story!
May 20, 2024
This book is for not only those of us who are single. Whether you are dating, engaged, or married - this book is timely for all. Ryan's vulnerability and heart leap of the pages of this book. His journey to finding contentment, while facing struggles, has a way of meeting you in the season God has you in today.
There were several poignant moments in the book, however the one that resonated the most with me where a friend of Ryan's, Shannon, responds to his question, "What's the biggest difference between how you approach being single in your thirties versus how you approached if in your twenties?" To which she says, "Probably the way I approach grief. When you want something like marriage or kids and you don't have it, it's hard. You carry a lot of grief. Back then, I'd just fill my life with more things and ignore the grief. I don't do that anymore. I give myself space to feel it."
Thank "future" you later for ordering and reading this book.
There were several poignant moments in the book, however the one that resonated the most with me where a friend of Ryan's, Shannon, responds to his question, "What's the biggest difference between how you approach being single in your thirties versus how you approached if in your twenties?" To which she says, "Probably the way I approach grief. When you want something like marriage or kids and you don't have it, it's hard. You carry a lot of grief. Back then, I'd just fill my life with more things and ignore the grief. I don't do that anymore. I give myself space to feel it."
Thank "future" you later for ordering and reading this book.
August 8, 2024
“It took me a long time to realize my perception of the external world is often a reflection of my internal reality.”
Whether you are single, in a dating relationship, married, or wherever you may find yourself, this book is for you — truly. The author brings a raw, honest, fresh, and often humorous approach to write about his life experiences as a single pastor but, really, life in general. I appreciated how his overall focus was on living your life according to your calling in Christ, and how the reflection of your internal reality can directly affect the perception of your external world — SUCH a powerful reminder! Plus, I’m always grateful when an author provides super relatable stories when introducing a lesson or point (I really did LOL when he recounted a school dance memory).
Get your highlighter ready and your heart prepared for a funny, vulnerable, and enjoyable read!
Whether you are single, in a dating relationship, married, or wherever you may find yourself, this book is for you — truly. The author brings a raw, honest, fresh, and often humorous approach to write about his life experiences as a single pastor but, really, life in general. I appreciated how his overall focus was on living your life according to your calling in Christ, and how the reflection of your internal reality can directly affect the perception of your external world — SUCH a powerful reminder! Plus, I’m always grateful when an author provides super relatable stories when introducing a lesson or point (I really did LOL when he recounted a school dance memory).
Get your highlighter ready and your heart prepared for a funny, vulnerable, and enjoyable read!
December 22, 2024
This guy had some beautiful things to say… most of which didn’t really seem to be about singleness.
Do we need to address our pasts? Yes. But do we really believe single people alone have a hard time because they “have too much unprocessed pain dragging us down into the abyss”? I fail to see how unprocessed pain is related to being single as this book suggests.
Do we need to live with awe and wonder? Yep. Is there any reason to believe single people don’t do this the same way married people do? Not that I can find.
This was a missed opportunity to discuss the ways singleness can be a gift to us and the kingdom and the unique ways God can shape our lives, with Him in mind rather than the idolatry of marriage and subsequent FOMO if you are unmarried. I would have given this 1 star except he did give beautiful recaps of some biblical situations.
Do we need to address our pasts? Yes. But do we really believe single people alone have a hard time because they “have too much unprocessed pain dragging us down into the abyss”? I fail to see how unprocessed pain is related to being single as this book suggests.
Do we need to live with awe and wonder? Yep. Is there any reason to believe single people don’t do this the same way married people do? Not that I can find.
This was a missed opportunity to discuss the ways singleness can be a gift to us and the kingdom and the unique ways God can shape our lives, with Him in mind rather than the idolatry of marriage and subsequent FOMO if you are unmarried. I would have given this 1 star except he did give beautiful recaps of some biblical situations.
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