The Bulgarian Training Manual

by Ruth Bonapace

Cristina Acqualina Bontempi (aka Tina) is on a quest to find her true parents and jeans that fit.

With the help of a mysterious book with magical powers, Tina makes her way from her waterlogged apartment in New Jersey to Bulgaria and back. Our heroine is the catalyst for a final contest that is part body-builder pose-off and part poetry slam. The novel is a sly look at self-improvement, self-doubts, and fervent dreams amid endless internal yammering. Those who follow The Bulgarian Training Manual add more than muscle. They become poets.

Genres: Fiction, Contemporary, Adult

266 pages, Paperback

Published June 4, 2024

About the author

Ruth Bonapace earned her MFA from Stony Brook University after a career in journalism, including two years covering sports she loathes like the NFL but never The New York Yankees, which she adores. Her work has appeared in many publications including The New York Times, Newsday, The Southampton Review, and The Saturday Evening Post. She is a two-time finalist in the annual American Writer's Review. Born in Brooklyn and raised in the burbs, she is a former New York State Agriculture Writer of the Year, who turned down a job with The American Dairy Association. This is her first novel.

Reviews

[Kathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This conversation with my husband ten minutes ago is going to serve as my review, even though I have 85 pages left to go.

Him: Mama, do you have to read that book all day? Put it down and do something with me!
Me: Hush! I can't put it down. This book is a total mind f(@k! It's part Alice in Wonderland, part mystical realism, part hero's quest, and part acid trip.
Him: So Tom Petty wrote it?
Me: Maybe a really good Tom Petty video.

Went back to reading and immediately found the Joseph Campbell quote to confirm (I THINK) all my suspicions about this one.

Please, please, please....write more!

[Patty]

I received an advance copy of this book in a goodreads giveaway. Thank you, Ruth Bonapeace and CLASH Fiction.

Most of my reading is firmly grounded in reality, so this was a departure and a personal challenge for me. The story is exactly as it was represented in the book's promotional description. It's filled with surreal happenings and ramblings from a monkey mind. The cover could use some help from color theory, and the preface made me want to abandon the book somewhere where no one would recognize me.

But it did get better. This story made me laugh, and there is nothing better than laughter! When I got to the Rachel Ray interview, I started giggling. When I got to The Escargot Cowboy chapter, I was finding more and more humor hiding between the bizarre story lines.

The author definitely manages to accomplish some serious tasks as well. She stabs skillfully at fitness culture, beauty culture, and salesmanship.

The most annoyingly interesting book I've read in a long, long time. Four stars.

[Debbie · Rating 4 out of 5]

My thoughts on this book are all over the place. Toward the beginning, I had many wtf moments, but at the same time, I was loving the intellectual word play. Once I got into the flow of the book, things started coming together. I thoroughly enjoy smart humor that makes you think.

[Lisa Albright · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm so delighted when a fantastically unique book seems to come out of nowhere and makes my day. This story felt like a lovely flashback to my Hunter S. Thompson days and I was totally in the mood for it. Written with quick humor and occasional flights of fancy to who knows where, this slim novel takes you down Tina's rabbit hole of trying to figure out how to make sense out of her life and find her place using the magical training guide. The short chapters keep up a fast pace and before you know it the mental rollercoaster ride is over and it's time to exit and evaluate the adventure. Pure fun.

I received a gifted copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Kelly Moran · Rating 5 out of 5]

Take the wild ride with "Tina" (sarcastic, funny, smart, and snarky) from her flooded basement apartment in Hoboken, NJ to Bulgaria. Inspired by a manual given to her at the gym, Tina embarks on a weird, fun, inspiring journey- with a crazy cast of colorful characters (bodybuilders,nuns, a pilot)
along the way!
She's searching for who she is, where she came from, and where she wants to go in life. It's a fun, quick, quirky read (jaw dropping at times and I laughed out loud) Bring it to the beach!🏖️

[Sean Logan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Didn’t know what I was getting into when I started this novel. Equal parts bizarre, comedic and heroic I’m still trying to come to grips with it. I kept having a Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas vibe as I wandered through Tina’s strange world. I’m sorry I started it when I did as it would have been a perfect beach read.

[Alex | reader_mama · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you @getredprbooks for my ARC!

Tina is living in a basement apartment (that recently flooded) and is trying to navigate who she is versus who she wants to become. Enter the Bulgarian Training Manual.

This was a unique story. I was intrigued by the synopsis, and I was excited for a comedic story. There were some parts I found myself chuckling out loud during, and this was brought to life by the first person POV. I enjoyed being inside Tina’s head and was rooting from her all through the story. As a reader, your sense of reality needs to be suspended, but that’s exactly what made this novel fun. If you are looking for a quirky story, with short chapters that keep the plot moving, consider giving this a try!✨

[Nursebookie · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Bulgarian Training Manual is a comic novel that tells the story of Tina in her quest to find her true parents and jeans that fit.

TITLE: The Bulgarian Training Manual
AUTHOR: Ruth Bonapace
PUB DATE: 06.04.2024 Now Available

With the help of a mysterious book with magical powers, Tina makes her way from her waterlogged apartment in Hoboken, New Jersey, to an Oz-like journey to Bulgaria and back. Our heroine is the catalyst for a final contest that is part body-builder pose-off and part poetry slam. 

The novel is a sly and comic look at self-improvement, our self-doubts and fervent dreams, and our endless internal yammering. Those who follow The Bulgarian Training Manual add more than muscle. They become poets.

THOUGHTS:

I’m so glad I went into this book blind. With only the title to guide me - I sat back, read, laughed, and had a wonderful time being entertained by the characters, the funky story that twisted my brains, and an overall wildly fun and interesting book that I recommend.

[Dana McKenzie · Rating 4 out of 5]

listen y’all, this which is such a fun, trippy, laugh out loud wild ride. It was nothing like I expected it to be… and that was the best part!

I honestly do not like reading the synopsis before going into a book. I want it all to be a surprise and this definitely was.

The magical book that Tina finds takes her from her crappy apartment in New Jersey to one crazy Alice in Wonderland like journey to Bulgaria

This book was so unique, I really enjoyed the humor in it. It’s the perfect book to get you out of a reading rut. If you enjoy strange, interesting and hilarious journeys, then you should check this one out.

[Edens Book Den · Rating 4 out of 5]

In order to describe my experience reading this book I’m going to share a little story…

There’s this specialty popcorn store my daughter wanted to go into. We were passing through a cute little small town on our way to check out some Highland cows. The minute I walked inside the smell of sugar and caramel and butter hit me all at once. It was as if my olfactory senses took me right back to being a kid at the state fair. The store was mesmerizing with its bright colored popcorn and its wacky flavors. Super hard to describe the taste but imagine candy coated watermelon, strawberry, Dr. Pepper, and piña colada popcorn. Those were just a few flavors. Bright and wacky popcorn is not what I intended to buy that day but it was surprising. A truly unique and acquired taste-hard to explain unless experienced.

That’s this book to a tee. It has to be experienced. I didn’t quite know what I was reading at first. So much to unpack. There has never been a book like this, it’s completely unique and quirky. I’m pretty positive that Gene Wilder and Louis Carol would have adored this book. I cannot stress enough to go into this one blind!! It’s a trip and it’s eccentric. You’ll enjoy the ride and wonder what did I read…but be smiling at the same time! 4/5 stars.

I was gifted a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

[twoey (rachel q.) · Rating 4 out of 5]

As always, CLASH Books has delivered with a weird and wonderful story. Like many of their books, I consider The Bulgarian Training Manual the literary equivalent of a B-movie- it has distinct John Waters/Kevin Smith vibes, or like a Wizard of Oz produced by Troma Studios. It even features St. Catherine of Siena, who, fun fact, is John Waters’ favorite Catholic saint.

This book was a whirlwind, a bit all over the place, but a very fun little roller coaster of a read. I loved the narrator’s voice- in the moments where the story gets a bit hard to follow due to its insanity, were brought back with the sarcastic charm of Tina, the heroine of the story.

There were a lot of tangents and I feel like the plot got a little lost at times, but it’s the type of book where you need to not ask too many questions and just enjoy the ride. And I certainly did.

Thank you to CLASH Books for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!

[Dorothy Minor · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lately, I’ve been stepping out of my reading comfort zone. That has included The Bulgarian Training Manual by Ruth Bonapace. The book is called “a sly and comic look at self-improvement, our self-doubts and fervent dreams, and our endless internal yammering.” I am quite good at “endless internal yammering,” so that part sounded like something I should read.

The story opens with Tina, our narrator, at the gym. Steve, who also frequents the gym, approaches Tina and hands her The Bulgarian Training Manual, acting strangely. Steve tells Tina, “Read the manual. Just read the manual. And promise me one thing. Don’t. Tell. Anybody.”

What on earth could be so secretive and dangerous about The Bulgarian Training Manual? Steve goes on to tell Tiny that she will understand all when she has read the book, the whole book, and he again cautions her about keeping the book a secret. He insists Tina will understand all once she has read the manual.

Tina will take readers on a rollicking journey. This description of novel will capture many readers’ imagination: “The Bulgarian Training Manual is a comic novel that tells the story of Tina in her quest to find her true parents and jeans that fit.”

[Joan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thoroughly enjoyed this book about our heroine "Tina" who is trying to locate her parents. Inspired by a manual she found at her gym, this book is a funny laugh out loud story. Thoroughly enjoyed and recommended.

[Sarah W · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book took me on a journey. There were multiple times where I was thinking what am I reading but that is what I liked about it. The story took off in different ways that were all entertaining with a good amount of comedy thrown in. I loved the sections where Tina was learning about the others who have used the method. It has a magical realism feel to it during that time and was fast paced. It was interesting to see the role that Steve had in her discovery after learning how they met. A different but fun read.

Thank you @getredprbooks @ruthbonapace @clashbooks for the gifted copy.

[Sonia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ruth Bonapace's The Bulgarian Training Manual defies easy categorization, blending reality and fantasy in ways that will leave readers questioning what they thought they knew about conventional storytelling. This isn't a book you can approach with preconceived notions—it demands you surrender to its unconventional narrative flow.

The journey spans both physical and metaphysical terrain, whisking readers from the streets of Hoboken to the mysterious landscapes of Bulgaria. But the real adventure lies in Bonapace's willingness to blur the lines between the plausible and the fantastical. Characters navigate situations that feel simultaneously grounded in recognizable human experience and elevated to mythic proportions.

What makes this novel particularly engaging is how it rewards readers who embrace its experimental nature. Those seeking traditional plot structures may find themselves frustrated, but readers willing to trust Bonapace's vision will discover a richly layered experience that lingers long after the final page. The author's prose shifts seamlessly between the mundane and the magical.

The Bulgarian Training Manual succeeds because it commits fully to its own strange logic. Bonapace never apologizes for the fantastical elements or attempts to over-explain the inexplicable. Instead, she invites readers into a world where the extraordinary feels inevitable, even necessary.

This is a great read for anyone craving something genuinely original in contemporary fiction—a book that reminds us literature's greatest power lies in its ability to transport us to places we never imagined we needed to go.

[Susan Ballard (subakkabookstuff) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m unsure how to describe this book, but the whole experience, from the fantastical cover to the tiny finger weights I was sent, was fun and wild.

You may think from the title that this is nonfiction - it’s not. It’s a vivid, comical, and somewhat trippy adventure.

I did not know what to expect when Tina, who works for a real estate office in New Jersey, was given a copy of The Bulgarian Training Manual by Steve at the gym one day. Was it really going to be about getting fit and weight training? Yes, maybe, but it takes her on a whole “yellow brick road or rabbit hole” adventure, as this manual may have some kind of magic.

I suggest you go with the flow on this one. You meet many, um… interesting, colorful characters. Some scenes drop out of nowhere, and you might feel lost or confused. That’s okay, I think. The point is, this was just fun and unique. I love the quirky characters doing odd things, flitting here and there, reaching for self-improvement and dreams.

Now, is there some profound message hidden in this manual and the training it suggests? Probably, but I’d rather just enjoy the chaotic, entertaining ride.

Thank you @getredprbooks @clashbooks and @ruthbonapace for a gifted book.

[Andrea Reilly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had no idea what to expect when I started this book. Halfway through I still didn't, but I was enjoying the characters and how different it was from every other book I've read. It did drag a little about three-quarters of the way through, but I read a few pages here and there until it picked up again and got really interesting. It was like a fever dream or a metaphorical dream where Tina's brain was working through issues. Or, maybe the events were real, and it was just a crazy ride. Who knows? Who cares? It was fun!

At the time I was reading that slow section, I happened to hear my favorite Indigo Girls song, "Closer to Fine." As I listened to "We go to the doctor, we go to the mountains, We look to the children, we drink from the fountain, Yeah, we go to the Bible, we go through the workout..." I felt like I understood the book a bit better. Tina is searching, but is her search just overthinking and overreaching? Maybe. Maybe she's all she needs to be without all of the insanity around her and people pumping her up (pun partially intended).

If literal and straightforward reads are your thing this book might frustrate you. On the other hand, if you've never read anything like this and are open to a wild, ambiguous ride and something new, try it.

[David Jack · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW. Just ... wow.

I resisted the temptation to swallow this novel whole and somehow found the self-discipline to pace myself. I'm glad I did, or I might have become too overwhelmed to follow the intricacies of detail as the story built momentum. Meg Wolitzer's cover endorsement described this novel as "surreal," but I think I might have gone with "hallucinatory." I am dazzled.

And while I'm not otherwise given to audio books, I hope this becomes one. I would love to have Tina's voice in my ears as well as my mind. She's the workout buddy I never had but now will always wish I did.

[Lorraine Tosiello · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a book like no other. A Jersey City girl changes her life drastically with the help of a secret manual for body building and a cast of weird and improbable accomplices: Bulgarian seers, nuns, a saint, a renegade pilot and a hoard of other exercise freaks. Tina, the protagonist is a sharp witted, foul mouthed dreamer whose destiny even she could not imagine. The plot is ludicrous but the characters, dialogue and swirling rhythms are completely enjoyable. Having finished, I kind of miss Tina and Big Steve, the way I missed Natasha and Pierre at the end of War and Peace and I guess that is kind of the point.

[Kamron Rainey · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Bulgarian Training Manual is such a unique book. I can honestly say that I've never read any book remotely similar to this one. With that being said, I thoroughly enjoyed this read! I really appreciated the short chapters, they made this book feel like a super quick read.
I wasn't really sure what I was getting myself into when I started this book, but the quirky comedy drew me in very quickly. With this being Ruth Bonapace's debut novel, I can't wait to see where she goes with her writing!

[Riss 🫶🏻☕️ · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Bulgarian Training Manual is a book with comedy and very unique parts that caused to me not want to put it down! This is the author’s debut novel, and j think she did a great job with the plot and the characters. This was such a strange book, but in the best way possible! It is different from what I’m used to reading but it took me on a fun journey. Others who enjoy strange, but epically interesting stories will love this one. I can’t wait to read this author’s next book.

[Melissa Koszer · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars rounded up to a 4 for weirdness and originality. I picked up this book at the library because I thought the cover was cool. Little did I know I would spiral into one of the weirdest books I’ve ever read. Am I smart enough for this book? I don’t think so. Did I still enjoy it? Yes, but boy was it weird. I think Tina actually could’ve gone to Bulgaria about 20 pages sooner but I understand the author probably wanted that to land in the middle. I almost wish there was a glossary at the back to explain some of the references I’m sure I didn’t get. If you want to read a really strange book and show off how much you enjoy deep book cuts, read this one.

[Trish · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was like an acid trip...I wasn't sure what was real and what was a dream but it finally came together at least.

[Kylie · Rating 3 out of 5]

this feels like a bad trip fascinating but also wtf

[Bethany · Rating 1 out of 5]

Couldn't do it. I really tried. The writing style was not my jam - all over the place but not in a catchy or funny way, just really annoying.

[S/Faye · Rating 4 out of 5]

buff alice in wonderland

[Atalia ☕ · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don't know how to feel about this one... I picked it because it looked promising (I work out so the cover convinced me).

To be honest, I didn't enjoy it, the premise was interesting and refreshing, the story was funny at times but every word I read just made me want to finish the book as soon as possible, I think the main reason is that this is a plot-driven story and I usually don't connect with those.

As mentioned, it was funny at times but at others, I felt the jokes were too forced and/or repetitive. The characters are uninteresting... Cristina (the main one) is such a pain to read, I don't mind an unlikeable character but she is too stupid and made me mad.

In conclusion, it wasn't for me, which saddens me, I would have loved to enjoy it as much as the others.