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After years of watching horror movies, Kat Dougherty has learned one true thing about the supernatural.
Demons are dicks.
And the biggest dick of them all just showed up at her house, trapped inside an ugly six-inch doll. If there’s one thing that will piss off an unemployed, unhappy chain smoker more than anything, it’s a six-inch dick running amok in her house.
Maybe a little background first…
Kat returns home from getting creature comforts to ride out a snow storm in Pittsburgh. She has cigarettes, a milkshake, horror movies and an ugly little doll that was given to her by a friend. As she starts her first movie, the doll comes to life and begins to make demands for a new body to occupy. Being an irrational and desensitized girl, she flatly refuses. After all, what’s so scary about an ugly six inch doll?
The doll, who calls itself Stitch, tells Kat of how he came to be and where he came from; a place scarier than hell itself.
New Jersey
The demon who would become Stitch is conjured into the doll by a confused teenaged boy named Marty. Although technically this makes Marty a demon master, he has no idea of the power he has, or the kind of evil that kind of power attracts. Soon, people start dying and other demons show up, looking for Marty’s pet demon. All the while, Stitch looks for a way to transfer himself into a larger body or at least get the hell away from the kid he has to call ‘Master.’
As the body count rises and the demons circle ever closer, a creature that may or may not be the Almighty arrives to ‘fix’ everything. Which means horrible things for Stitch who finds himself stuck in the doll until he learns to be humble. An impossible task if you’re a demon like Stitch.
Kat, taking pity on the sad little doll thingy, decides to help Stitch; a decision they both seem to regret almost instantly as once again, demons and evil minions start showing up at Kat’s house looking to destroy Stitch and anyone who might be helping him.
See? Dicks. The whole supernatural lot of them.
Can Kat hold herself together to get through a day filled with demons, death, violence and extreme terror?
Only if there’s a milkshake waiting for her at the end of it. Maybe.
253 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 29, 2013
