How Our Children Come to Faith

Basics of the Reformed Faith

by Stephen Smallman

Stephen Smallman has written a booklet to Christian parents about how to raise their children in a spirit of faith rather than anxiety. It all begins when parents bring their children to Jesus for his blessing. He then explains the meaning of regeneration and conversion as it relates to children raised in Christian families.

Genres: Theology, Family, Christian Living, Parenting, Religion, Nonfiction, Christian

32 pages, Paperback

First published January 30, 2007

About the author

Stephen Smallman has served for over forty years in pastoral ministry and was the executive director of World Harvest Mission (now Serge). He currently teaches for CityNet Ministries of Philadelphia and is an assistant pastor of New Life Presbyterian Church in Glenside, Pennsylvania.

Reviews

[Jeremy · Rating 4 out of 5]

In May 2017, at age 6, Kate went through a communicants class at our church. Kara and I didn't know anything about this kind of a class, what the biblical basis for communicant membership was, or even how to talk to our children about the gospel in an organized way. We had been having Kate learn catechism questions, but that was about it. So I was glad to find this book, and as an added bonus (last endnote of this book), I found another book by Smallman that deals directly with communicant membership. Since Kate expressed some hesitation about being ready for communicant membership, we decided to wait.

Introduction
7: "Love covers a multitude of sins" (1 Peter 4:8)—encouraging words for parents who still figuring things out and don't always "'get it right' when it comes to raising children"
9: baptized children are received as members [so children don't have to understand every sacrament before participating in the life of the church]; parents and the church community commit to the spiritual development of the baptized child

Bringing our children to Jesus
8: Smallman deals directly with children of believers, not those who come to Christ from an unbelieving background
9: Jesus opens his kingdom to children (Matt. 19:13–15)—the Lukan version (18:15) says that this includes infants [a comfort to those who have lost young and even unborn children]
10: parents bring their children to Jesus in prayer, claiming Jesus' promise that the kingdom belongs to such as these; parents also bring their children to Jesus in baptism
10–11: bringing children to church is bringing them to Jesus, because He has promised to be in our midst when two or three are gathered in His name (Matt. 18:20)
11–13: God makes covenants with his people and promises that the blessings will be passed on to subsequent generations (Gen. 17:7; Deut. 7:8–9)
13–14: Peter tells Jews, who already understood circumcision to be the sign that marks children as participants in God's covenant people, that this truth will continue in the new age (Acts 2:39)
14–15: "covenant children" is a term that claims God's promises to families

You must be born again
16: as with our natural birth, our spiritual birth is not something that we accomplish; we need to distinguish between regeneration (new birth) and conversion (turning from sin): "Regeneration is the mysterious, supernatural work of the Spirit," whereas "conversion is the human response to that supernatural work"
17: "Regeneration precedes faith"—God enables us to believe, and when He does, we believe; our children must be born again (regenerated) because everyone is born a sinner; the beginning of a child's spiritual life is not a decision (often stressed by zealous parents), but the work of God
18–19: Smallman argues against baptismal regeneration, while acknowledging (with a PTS professor) that it could exist in a qualified way—God may decide to regenerate a child at baptism (that's not conversion, and the water didn't work any magic, but God can choose when, where, and how to regenerate a child)

The conversion of our children
20–21: conversion is repentance and faith, but we should not mistake NT believers' experience with a formula—that is, "first generation" conversion looks different from the conversion of children of believing parents (it's not always a clear step like it is for those new to Christianity); Smallman talks more about conversion here; Christian parents actually pray that their children never know a moment of unbelief
21–22: parents who stress about their child's decision should start by communicating God's promises and encouraging their children to rest in those promises; think of it as discipleship, not evangelizing a pagan
22–23: we have every right to teach our children to pray the Lord's Prayer, which begins with "Our Faather," because He is their Father
23: 19c revivalism (emphasis on a dramatic conversion) made ordinary means of grace (e.g., family prayers, catechism study, and church attendance) seem boring and even invalid; in a sense, it's true that "God has no grandchildren," yet by that phrase we should not mean that children of believing parents have no relationship with God
24: some evangelical traditions emphasize the moment of decision, but Smallman says it's more important to emphasize the public confession of Christ (what happens when communicant members are presented to the church); the fact is that the Bible (and early church history) is unclear about how children of believers come to participate in communicant membership—that's why church traditions vary widely when it comes to "coming-of-age" ceremonies [e.g., Lutherans have confirmation; Jewish boys have bar mitzvahs]
25: "the primary evidence of a regenerate heart is a readiness to 'confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord'" (Rom. 10:9; see also 1 Cor. 12:3)"; faithful discipleship means that we provide the means to equip our children to confess Christ "with sincerity and understanding," and whoever does this may participate in Communion [communion <-- common <-- sharing]

[Brad · Rating 3 out of 5]

Three short chapters:
"Bringing Our Children to Christ"
"You Must Be Born Again"
"The Conversion of Our Children"

Each short chapter ends with a brief section for discussion and reflection.

Paedobaptist in perspective, but generally charitably nuanced as seen when he writes: "The inward conviction by parents that our children are gifts *from* God and *for* God is not limited to those who practice infant baptism" (p7).

Two quotations give the author's emphasis:
1) "The heart of the matter is that we parents want to instill in our children the desire to follow Jesus, but we are also profoundly aware that we are inadequate to the task" (p6).
2) "*Having this confidence in God's faithfulness to his covenant promises is the most important single thing we can do for the salvation of our children*" (p15).

He rightly emphasizes conversion, while rightly warning against conversionism (and presumptive regeneration). With children of believers, he prefers the approach of "Christian nurture" rather than a kind of revivalistic evangelism.

[Elisha Bomberger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great little book on the basics of how children come to faith! From a reformed perspective, but not a pushy or overbearing way. It's presented logically and, more importantly, biblically.

[Jordan Litts · Rating 3 out of 5]

Intro.

[Mark A Powell · Rating 3 out of 5]

When Christians have children, how are we to understand the relationship between those children and the church? Teaching from a covenantal perspective, Smallman discusses that relationship in this booklet, arguing that children of believers should be baptized because of their standing in their parents’ community of faith. Much is to be commended in Smallman’s sincerity and conviction. While I disagree with the majority of his conclusions, he nevertheless presents his point of view consistently and genuinely.

[Jeremy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very good brief on the reformed understanding of how children raised in believing homes come to Christ. Not that there is a different pathway, but the pamphlet helps to distinguish between regeneration and conversion, and underscores that parents must be active in praying for and nurturing their children in the word. It also recognizes that not everyone is going to have a "turn or burn" dramatic testimony, but that those quiet and peaceful confessions must be validated as well.

[Michael · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Reformed understanding of regeneration is a great comfort as we trust God’s covenant promises and use the means he has given us to raise our children in the faith.

[Matt Hession · Rating 4 out of 5]

A concise writing on the topic of "how" children in the Christian home come to faith. It addresses a very specific topic and steers clear of nearby related but different topics. For the amount of time it takes to read this (very short) it is a valuable read for any christian parent for sure.

[Alex · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great. Helps shed light on how the reformed are different than evangelicals.

[Daniel · Rating 3 out of 5]

From a Reformed paedobaptist perspective.

[Josiah Richardson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful in working through a couple practical questions I had concerning Presbyterian federalism. Smallman explores the relationship children have with God, and how the reformed faith necessitates the understanding the regeneration takes place prior to faith, regardless of the individual's age or position.

[Wade · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a really helpful, and Biblical, short booklet about what it looks like for Christian parents to bring their children to Jesus. Smallman makes a very clear distinction between regeneration and conversion. He also makes it clear that children who grow up in a covenant family do not always have as clear of a “conversion story” as someone who comes to faith as an adult. Children of believers need to be converted, but it is important to not describe conversion as first-and-foremost an experience. For children of believers, “conversion could be so much a part of their lives that they grow up never knowing a time when they weren’t embracing Jesus Christ freely offered in the gospel.” These children may not be able to put their finger on a time when they could say, “That is when I was not a Christian, and after that is when I became a Christian.” This is pretty normal for the believing children of believers and it is helpful for Christian parents to be aware of this dynamic in their children’s lives. A very solid overview of how, specifically, children growing up in believing homes come to faith in Jesus; it also looks at some of the unique challenges and benefits that come from in growing up in a home that believes in Jesus.

[Gavin Breeden · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very helpful booklet explaining the Reformed-Presbyterian position on how God works covenantally in families. He touches on baptism, faith, and conversion briefly while pointing out the many promises that God makes in the Bible to believers and their children. Definitely a book I'd give out to parents with questions and parents without questions, for that matter.

[Steve Hemmeke · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty good