What do you think?
Rate this book
Only With the Heart
After growing up in foster homes, Claudia has found the perfect life with a devoted husband and loving mother, but her new world is turned upside down when her mother is diagnosed with Alzheimer's, a situation that becomes worse when her mother is found dead and Claudia is charged with murder, in an engrossing tale of terminal illness, love, and the struggle for acceptance. Reprint. 10,000 first printing.
- GenresMystery
323 pages, Paperback
First published September 9, 2000
5 people are currently reading
331 people want to read
About the author
Alexandria Constantinova Szeman
11 books92 followersAuthor New York Times Book Review Notable Book and Top 100 Books of Year, Kafka Award Winner The Kommandant's Mistress. University of Cincinnati Elliston Poetry Prize for Love in the Time of Dinosaurs and Where Lightning Strikes: Poems on the Holocaust. UKA Press Grand Prize for short story collection, Naked, with Glasses. True crime memoir, M is for Munchers: The Serial Killers Next Door a Santa Fe Writer's Project Literary Awards Finalist (2017). Childhood Sex Abuse survivor. Writer @ The Mighty and @ MigraineMantras.
(formerly published as "Sherri")
(formerly published as "Sherri")
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
February 10, 2014
Insightful and intelligently written, "Only with the Heart" takes you on a poignant and often painful journey into the lives of a family dealing with a terrible disease that impacts everyone associated with the person afflicted. The struggles of the three principle characters, including the victim of the disease, are detailed through first person accounts of their view of the events surrounding the decline of the victim and the impact that decline has on each individual.
While I am not a fan of stories written in the first person in general, Szeman does an excellent job of using the technique to take you into the lives of the characters so that you feel their internal conflicts, and pain, and fears. She gives you an intimate view of how the disease's terrible rampage through their family influenced their actions. Heartbreaking in that the ultimate outcome of the disease is unstoppable and incurable, the book is also hopeful in showing that even the greatest, most terrible tragedies can be weathered. The scars may remain but life goes on.
While I am not a fan of stories written in the first person in general, Szeman does an excellent job of using the technique to take you into the lives of the characters so that you feel their internal conflicts, and pain, and fears. She gives you an intimate view of how the disease's terrible rampage through their family influenced their actions. Heartbreaking in that the ultimate outcome of the disease is unstoppable and incurable, the book is also hopeful in showing that even the greatest, most terrible tragedies can be weathered. The scars may remain but life goes on.
December 31, 2025
Only With the Heart is a deeply moving and emotionally layered novel that explores love, loss, memory, and the fragile line between devotion and despair. Alexandria Constantinova Szeman crafts a story that is both intimate and unsettling, grounding its tension not in spectacle, but in the quiet devastation of illness and the fear of being misunderstood.
Claudia is a compelling and sympathetic protagonist. After a childhood shaped by instability and foster care, she has built a life defined by love and belonging only to see it unravel as her mother’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis slowly erases the woman she knows. The emotional weight of watching memory fade, roles reverse, and trust fracture is rendered with sensitivity and restraint.
The novel’s central mystery deepens the emotional impact rather than distracting from it. When Claudia is accused of murder, the story becomes not only a legal and psychological struggle, but a meditation on how grief, exhaustion, and devotion can be misread and how society often fails caregivers at their most vulnerable. The tension lies not in twists, but in the aching uncertainty of truth, perception, and intent.
What makes Only With the Heart especially powerful is its humanity. It asks difficult questions about responsibility, love under unbearable strain, and the cost of holding on when letting go feels impossible. This is a novel that lingers not because it shocks, but because it understands the quiet devastation of loving someone through decline.
A poignant and emotionally resonant read for readers drawn to character-driven fiction, family dramas, psychological tension, and stories that confront illness and love with honesty and compassion.
Claudia is a compelling and sympathetic protagonist. After a childhood shaped by instability and foster care, she has built a life defined by love and belonging only to see it unravel as her mother’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis slowly erases the woman she knows. The emotional weight of watching memory fade, roles reverse, and trust fracture is rendered with sensitivity and restraint.
The novel’s central mystery deepens the emotional impact rather than distracting from it. When Claudia is accused of murder, the story becomes not only a legal and psychological struggle, but a meditation on how grief, exhaustion, and devotion can be misread and how society often fails caregivers at their most vulnerable. The tension lies not in twists, but in the aching uncertainty of truth, perception, and intent.
What makes Only With the Heart especially powerful is its humanity. It asks difficult questions about responsibility, love under unbearable strain, and the cost of holding on when letting go feels impossible. This is a novel that lingers not because it shocks, but because it understands the quiet devastation of loving someone through decline.
A poignant and emotionally resonant read for readers drawn to character-driven fiction, family dramas, psychological tension, and stories that confront illness and love with honesty and compassion.
June 15, 2020
I would give this book 2.5 stars. I was initially confused by the style of writing.But got used to it quickly. It would flip back and forth between past and present without warning in the same chapter. I like that it told the same story from each characters perspective. It was especially interesting to feel what it must be like to have dementia .
December 15, 2024
The style of writing took a few chapters to get used to but once you catch on, it’s a great read.
May 17, 2012
Only with the Heart is the story of a family being torn apart by Alzheimer’s disease. Claudia, who grew up a foster child, has finally found a family amongst that of her husband Sam. His mother, Eleanor, becomes her own mother, and everyone in the family loves and accepts her. After Sam and Claudia's marriage, however, things head downhill. Eleanor is falling deeper and deeper into her illness, and when her own husband dies, she goes to live with her son and daughter-in-law. Eleanor’s mind, and the quality of life of those who care for her, only degrades until she finally passes away. Claudia is accused of murder, and it seems that this family will never be allowed to rest, to heal.
The story is in three parts: The first is Claudia's perspective. Immediately, you notice the writing style is not at all conventional. Parts of it are a conversation between herself and her therapist. The rest is her relating her experiences. She shifts suddenly between stories, and from one point in time to the next. There is no smooth transition, it just happens.This works for the character, though. This style choice seems to give the impression that Claudia’s thoughts are fractured and jumbled, that she herself is still trying to sort it all out.
Next is Eleanor. The writing style reflects her mental state very well. She, too, shift from one point in time to another very abruptly. She is in the throes of her Alzheimer's, and then, at stark contrast, a her old self again. She, with a stunted vocabulary and a poor understanding of what is happening around her, puts us right in the head of an Alzheimer's sufferer. It’s quite incredible to see Alzheimer's depicted this way. It make Eleanors illness feel very real to the reader.
Last is Sam. He covers the trial, events Claudia spoke of, and his own thoughts. He jumps between stories as well, but it seems pointless for him, like theres no reason for it. That aside, his part really threw me for a loop. He makes you realize that just like in real life, there are three sides to every story, and only one is the truth. There is no omniscient narrator, however, and we must sort it out for ourselves. I hadn’t even considered the possibility of an unreliable narrator prior to him going over his own version of events. These conflicting stories strike me as more true to life, as everyone remembers the past differently. The novel is staggeringly real in this way.
This book is beautifully written and very touching. It depicts the harsh reality of Alzheimer’s, as well as the darker side of human nature. There is loss and tragedy, but at the end of it, hope. It’s an unconventional read to be sure, but I recommend to anyone looking for something more out of the ordinary in a book.
The story is in three parts: The first is Claudia's perspective. Immediately, you notice the writing style is not at all conventional. Parts of it are a conversation between herself and her therapist. The rest is her relating her experiences. She shifts suddenly between stories, and from one point in time to the next. There is no smooth transition, it just happens.This works for the character, though. This style choice seems to give the impression that Claudia’s thoughts are fractured and jumbled, that she herself is still trying to sort it all out.
Next is Eleanor. The writing style reflects her mental state very well. She, too, shift from one point in time to another very abruptly. She is in the throes of her Alzheimer's, and then, at stark contrast, a her old self again. She, with a stunted vocabulary and a poor understanding of what is happening around her, puts us right in the head of an Alzheimer's sufferer. It’s quite incredible to see Alzheimer's depicted this way. It make Eleanors illness feel very real to the reader.
Last is Sam. He covers the trial, events Claudia spoke of, and his own thoughts. He jumps between stories as well, but it seems pointless for him, like theres no reason for it. That aside, his part really threw me for a loop. He makes you realize that just like in real life, there are three sides to every story, and only one is the truth. There is no omniscient narrator, however, and we must sort it out for ourselves. I hadn’t even considered the possibility of an unreliable narrator prior to him going over his own version of events. These conflicting stories strike me as more true to life, as everyone remembers the past differently. The novel is staggeringly real in this way.
This book is beautifully written and very touching. It depicts the harsh reality of Alzheimer’s, as well as the darker side of human nature. There is loss and tragedy, but at the end of it, hope. It’s an unconventional read to be sure, but I recommend to anyone looking for something more out of the ordinary in a book.
October 24, 2012
This book was definitely not written for the mass market, so if you are looking for a traditional style novel, think twice before you read this one.
Like the Kommandant's Mistress, the writing style is troubling, for it is much like our minds probably are, with just a little editing. The book is divided into three sections - one is from the view of a woman (Claudia) who ends up on trial for the murder (assisted suicide) of her mother-in-law (Eleanor), who had Alzheimer's. The second section is from Eleanor's viewpoint. The final section is told from the viewpoint of the Sam, son of the dead woman, as Claudia stands trial.
Szeman gives us the story from different perspectives, something not unusual at all. However, as in her first novel (The Kommandant's Mistress), the thoughts shared by each person are from minds left somewhat unattended. In the same paragraph, one sentence or thought will lead to something else from different moments in the past, then back again to the present. You cannot read this book without paying attention, or you will become lost.
In addition, each person has a different view of people and events. Each strongly believes their own story to be the correct one. Of course, nothing in real life (unlike most movies and novels) is clear, cluttered (unencumbered by sanity, as the old saying goes). No renditions of an event, by more than one person, is ever definite, in absolute agreement, untainted by egos or one-sided perceptions. In this book, events and memories are misty, conflicting, unsettling.
Most disturbing to me was Eleanor's section, as it shifted from the muddled murmuring of an Alzheimer sufferer, gradually moving back in time until she is the wonderful woman she once was, with a close relationship with her daughter-in-law.
You will never know for sure if there was an assisted suicide, and if so, who was the helper. Szeman said in a recent interview that readers are split down the middle. If you like a straight-forward who-dun-it, smooth and clear and easy to read, you may not enjoy this book. It truly has an unconventional style, and the read is not relaxing.
On the day the book officially went into the bookstores, it was already in its second printing - obviously it is speaking to many, so if you are a reader of fine literature, and a supporter of new and emerging authors, you might want to give this one a read!
Like the Kommandant's Mistress, the writing style is troubling, for it is much like our minds probably are, with just a little editing. The book is divided into three sections - one is from the view of a woman (Claudia) who ends up on trial for the murder (assisted suicide) of her mother-in-law (Eleanor), who had Alzheimer's. The second section is from Eleanor's viewpoint. The final section is told from the viewpoint of the Sam, son of the dead woman, as Claudia stands trial.
Szeman gives us the story from different perspectives, something not unusual at all. However, as in her first novel (The Kommandant's Mistress), the thoughts shared by each person are from minds left somewhat unattended. In the same paragraph, one sentence or thought will lead to something else from different moments in the past, then back again to the present. You cannot read this book without paying attention, or you will become lost.
In addition, each person has a different view of people and events. Each strongly believes their own story to be the correct one. Of course, nothing in real life (unlike most movies and novels) is clear, cluttered (unencumbered by sanity, as the old saying goes). No renditions of an event, by more than one person, is ever definite, in absolute agreement, untainted by egos or one-sided perceptions. In this book, events and memories are misty, conflicting, unsettling.
Most disturbing to me was Eleanor's section, as it shifted from the muddled murmuring of an Alzheimer sufferer, gradually moving back in time until she is the wonderful woman she once was, with a close relationship with her daughter-in-law.
You will never know for sure if there was an assisted suicide, and if so, who was the helper. Szeman said in a recent interview that readers are split down the middle. If you like a straight-forward who-dun-it, smooth and clear and easy to read, you may not enjoy this book. It truly has an unconventional style, and the read is not relaxing.
On the day the book officially went into the bookstores, it was already in its second printing - obviously it is speaking to many, so if you are a reader of fine literature, and a supporter of new and emerging authors, you might want to give this one a read!
September 11, 2012
Only with the Heart is a sad yet compelling read. As a lover of fine literature I found Alexandria Constantinova Szeman a wonderful writer. The book being told from three different points of vies mimics real life as we get to see events from each perspective. I am giving this book a 5 star and would highly recommend it to anyone willing to take the time for a close good read.
My rating system is as follows:
5 stars - Excellent, Worth Every Penny, Made It Into My Personal Library!
4 stars - Great book, but not a classic.
3 stars - Good overall, generally well written.
2 stars - Would not recommend based on personal criteria.
1 star - Difficult to read, hard to finish, or didn't finish. Wouldn't recommend purchasing or reading.
In accordance with the new FTC Guidelines for blogging and endorsements, you should assume that every book I review was provided to me by the publisher, media group or the author for free and no financial payments were received, unless specified otherwise.
My rating system is as follows:
5 stars - Excellent, Worth Every Penny, Made It Into My Personal Library!
4 stars - Great book, but not a classic.
3 stars - Good overall, generally well written.
2 stars - Would not recommend based on personal criteria.
1 star - Difficult to read, hard to finish, or didn't finish. Wouldn't recommend purchasing or reading.
In accordance with the new FTC Guidelines for blogging and endorsements, you should assume that every book I review was provided to me by the publisher, media group or the author for free and no financial payments were received, unless specified otherwise.
August 12, 2012
"Only with the Heart" is one of the most unique books I have ever had the pleasure of reading. Not only does it challenge its readers with a heartwrenching tale of a family suffering from the effects of Alzheimer's disease, but it also challenges its readers with the style of writing -- "flowing prose that leaps over decades and events," as the Dayton Daily News wrote. It keeps readers constantly on their toes, and reads like a train of thoughts. I commend Alexandria Constantinova Szeman for her outstanding research, writing and, most of all, courage to tell this story. As someone who witnessed a very close family member suffer from Alzheimer's, I feel Szeman did a tremendous job explaining the disease and the toll it takes on friends and family. 4.5 stars!
January 30, 2014
I received a free copy of this book from Goodreads First Reads.
I am not going to be able to do this novel justice with my review. Simply put, it was amazing. I can't think of any other book quite like this one. At first, the narration style can be jarring and off-putting, but once I got used to it the story just flowed.
Claudia is on trial for the murder of her mother-in-law Eleanor, who suffered from Alzheimer's. The story is told in 3 parts. First from Claudia's perspective, then from Eleanor's, and finally from Sam's (Claudia's husband). I feel like much of the book centers around memories and their importance to who we are as people. It is an honest and heartbreaking look at the effects of Alzheimer's on family, moral obligations to family, and what makes up a family.
I am not going to be able to do this novel justice with my review. Simply put, it was amazing. I can't think of any other book quite like this one. At first, the narration style can be jarring and off-putting, but once I got used to it the story just flowed.
Claudia is on trial for the murder of her mother-in-law Eleanor, who suffered from Alzheimer's. The story is told in 3 parts. First from Claudia's perspective, then from Eleanor's, and finally from Sam's (Claudia's husband). I feel like much of the book centers around memories and their importance to who we are as people. It is an honest and heartbreaking look at the effects of Alzheimer's on family, moral obligations to family, and what makes up a family.
May 9, 2012
A good reads giveaway winner. A personalized and signed edition to boot. Nice touch. (My Mother will enjoy seeing that.) Thank you for a lovely book.
Alexandria Szeman has a unique writing style. It took me a while to appreciate the style in which it was written. Once I became used it it, I really enjoyed this read. Compared to the novel "Turn of Mind", which is also about a patient with dementia and a dead body, this one was far more suspenseful and had more emotional impact.
Szeman has a way of weaving a story so well, you begin to imagine it to be played out on the big screen. Would have given this book a 4.5 rating if I could.
Alexandria Szeman has a unique writing style. It took me a while to appreciate the style in which it was written. Once I became used it it, I really enjoyed this read. Compared to the novel "Turn of Mind", which is also about a patient with dementia and a dead body, this one was far more suspenseful and had more emotional impact.
Szeman has a way of weaving a story so well, you begin to imagine it to be played out on the big screen. Would have given this book a 4.5 rating if I could.
October 12, 2015
I won this book in a Goodreads giveaway.
I really liked the variety of the points of view. I could tell the difference between each voice. While I am not sure about the accuracy, I liked reading the POV of someone with Alzheimers. I was not completely satisfied with the ending though since it kind of ended abruptly.
I really liked the variety of the points of view. I could tell the difference between each voice. While I am not sure about the accuracy, I liked reading the POV of someone with Alzheimers. I was not completely satisfied with the ending though since it kind of ended abruptly.
August 10, 2012
This was a heart warming, heart wrenching and in depth story. The journey this family endures because of a terminal illness keeps you engaged in the ever developing story line. Alzheimer is a horrible disease but many of us do not know the courage, love and strength it takes to survive it and many families do not.
April 21, 2009
I thought the book was interesting. I didn't care much for the writing style simply because it didn't allow the character to develop more fully. It was good in the since that it really made me think about what I would do if I was in Claudia's situation.
August 29, 2012
I won this book through a Goodreads 'First Read' giveaway.
About two chapters into this book & I felt hooked. I couldn't put it down. It was so heartbreaking. This novel definitely became one of my favorites.
About two chapters into this book & I felt hooked. I couldn't put it down. It was so heartbreaking. This novel definitely became one of my favorites.
December 13, 2013
This book was brilliantly hurtful. A little hard to follow at times, but the story wins. It's beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews