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Miguel's Secret Journal
Miguel is a 15-year-old gay Latino teenager who lives in a very poor, violent section of South Bronx, New York. He is a gifted artist who has been emotionally, physically, and sexually abused. Miguel meets Gabriel, another gay student at school, and falls in love with him. As their relationship unfolds, Gabriel tells Miguel a secret that will change his life forever. Miguel's Secret Journal is the first journal in this series. Please check out the revised edition released in 2017. sexual situations and profanity. Recommended age 15 and up.A note of all six books written by A.V. Zeppa are connected to each other.
277 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 15, 2011
8 people are currently reading
39 people want to read
About the author
A.V. Zeppa
25 books14 followersArmand Zeppa attended the University of Michigan and received a degree in Education. He is currently working on an MA in English Literature. He lives in New York City, where he teaches high school English and Music.
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
August 18, 2020
Heaven cares about the hell kids live in.
Where does life begin? Pre+birth? When conscious thoughts control movements? When babies learn to talk?
When memories can be recalled and interpreted? When you start school?When you recognize family and friends as different? When you realize you are different? Is there a recognizeable point in life, or is it a process? A birthday remembered by anniversaries or a first breath?
How do you know you are gay? Or straight? Alive or dead? Healthy or sick? Loved or hated? Smart or stupid? What if everyone around you spends every minute disrupting your life and your thoughts? Beatings and abuse? Education or recreation? Shelter? Clothes? Food? Fun? Social stimulation? Family relationships? Dating struggles? Rape? Reality?
What is life and what makes it good?
Book one asks the questions. Maybe book 2 has the answers. Or maybe we have to experience life on our own to find out what it is and what it means.
Where does life begin? Pre+birth? When conscious thoughts control movements? When babies learn to talk?
When memories can be recalled and interpreted? When you start school?When you recognize family and friends as different? When you realize you are different? Is there a recognizeable point in life, or is it a process? A birthday remembered by anniversaries or a first breath?
How do you know you are gay? Or straight? Alive or dead? Healthy or sick? Loved or hated? Smart or stupid? What if everyone around you spends every minute disrupting your life and your thoughts? Beatings and abuse? Education or recreation? Shelter? Clothes? Food? Fun? Social stimulation? Family relationships? Dating struggles? Rape? Reality?
What is life and what makes it good?
Book one asks the questions. Maybe book 2 has the answers. Or maybe we have to experience life on our own to find out what it is and what it means.
April 30, 2019
I had mixed feelings about this book. Despite the fact that this was based on a 15yr old's journal entries, there were some obvious spelling and grammatical errors that were annoying (that weren't related to his use of slang). The plot was unique and halfway through I realized where it was headed but overall I think the author handled it well. There were a lot of areas where I had to suspend my disbelief and just push through to see what he was trying to achieve, such as Miguel's reactions and quick acceptance of some of the fantastical things that Gabriel did, I found those moments a little too farfetched. Overall not a horrible read, I truly enjoyed how the author tackled being a gay teen in a horrendously homophobic area and how the people, school, and families all reacted to people in the gay community and how the LGBTQ students still tried to stand up and be themselves despite the horrid treatment.
July 15, 2011
Armand Zeppa Steps Into The Spotlight
Armand V. Zeppa is a man on the brink. He has a degree in Education from the University of Michigan, is currently studying for his Masters in English Literature, and currently teaches English and Music in New York City. His entry into contemporary literature could not be better times as various states are opening previously condemned realms of gay history and the large amount of contributions in both literature and music by gay artists of the past. In this very touching first novel Zeppa proves he has not only done his homework but he has also found a manner to introduce a character by means of a book focused on journal entries of a young Hispanic lad from the Bronx whose has struggle with fear of discovery (both his own recognition and acceptance and that of the generally homophobic Latino culture and family unit) of his natural sexuality and how he finds himself with the help of a soulmate. The language is real, using street talk and expressions and slang in a very consistent manner that flows through out the book: he also uses one of his main character's talents - poetry - as a means of expression, poetry that is actually very fine.
Miguel, our main character, is a skinny 15-year old from a broken abusive family who lives in his own secret world of passion derived from fantasy about music and art and clothing/appearance, never speaking about any of his secrets except in his daily activity of writing in his journal. He has friends - Maya and Luis - but lacks confidants. His first gesture of becoming who he is comes in the form of a shopping trip with his abusive alcoholic mother who allows him to buy formfitting clothes (instead of the au courant baggy thug appearance) and he enters high school with his 'emo' appearance intact. Despite the verbal abusive atmosphere he finds a friend in his English teacher and especially in another new student - Gabriel, a beautiful kid who speaks with a British accent and has a similar appearance as Miguel. The two bond, and Miguel confronts his sexuality, finding that Gabriel is also gay and seems to be everything Miguel wants - very intelligent, sensitive, knowledgeable about art, and from a wealthy home where Gabriel's mother is completely accepting of his lifestyle. Gabriel's influence allows Miguel the courage to come out to his friends and family and survive the consequences. But surpassing the sincere love relationship between Miguel and Gabriel is a revelation that opens the door for further novels that seem to promise even more support to the youth of today who face the stigma of accepting their sexuality.
Zeppa has not only mastered the language of the characters with whom he unfolds this sensitive, but he also gives evidence of some very fine writing outside of the 'texting speak' of his characters. Miguel's description of South Bronx: 'It is one of the poorest areas of New York City. It has the personality of a worn out dream that was discarded years ago. There's nothing new or trendy in my neighborhood, but it's the only home I've ever known. It's a mad scary place if you can't maneuver between its cracks.....Like the rest of NYC, it never sleeps.' Zeppa has written a book that combines the harshness of reality with an introduction of fantasy and magic that promises to create an ongoing series of stories that explore territory heretofore unexplored.
Grady Harp
Armand V. Zeppa is a man on the brink. He has a degree in Education from the University of Michigan, is currently studying for his Masters in English Literature, and currently teaches English and Music in New York City. His entry into contemporary literature could not be better times as various states are opening previously condemned realms of gay history and the large amount of contributions in both literature and music by gay artists of the past. In this very touching first novel Zeppa proves he has not only done his homework but he has also found a manner to introduce a character by means of a book focused on journal entries of a young Hispanic lad from the Bronx whose has struggle with fear of discovery (both his own recognition and acceptance and that of the generally homophobic Latino culture and family unit) of his natural sexuality and how he finds himself with the help of a soulmate. The language is real, using street talk and expressions and slang in a very consistent manner that flows through out the book: he also uses one of his main character's talents - poetry - as a means of expression, poetry that is actually very fine.
Miguel, our main character, is a skinny 15-year old from a broken abusive family who lives in his own secret world of passion derived from fantasy about music and art and clothing/appearance, never speaking about any of his secrets except in his daily activity of writing in his journal. He has friends - Maya and Luis - but lacks confidants. His first gesture of becoming who he is comes in the form of a shopping trip with his abusive alcoholic mother who allows him to buy formfitting clothes (instead of the au courant baggy thug appearance) and he enters high school with his 'emo' appearance intact. Despite the verbal abusive atmosphere he finds a friend in his English teacher and especially in another new student - Gabriel, a beautiful kid who speaks with a British accent and has a similar appearance as Miguel. The two bond, and Miguel confronts his sexuality, finding that Gabriel is also gay and seems to be everything Miguel wants - very intelligent, sensitive, knowledgeable about art, and from a wealthy home where Gabriel's mother is completely accepting of his lifestyle. Gabriel's influence allows Miguel the courage to come out to his friends and family and survive the consequences. But surpassing the sincere love relationship between Miguel and Gabriel is a revelation that opens the door for further novels that seem to promise even more support to the youth of today who face the stigma of accepting their sexuality.
Zeppa has not only mastered the language of the characters with whom he unfolds this sensitive, but he also gives evidence of some very fine writing outside of the 'texting speak' of his characters. Miguel's description of South Bronx: 'It is one of the poorest areas of New York City. It has the personality of a worn out dream that was discarded years ago. There's nothing new or trendy in my neighborhood, but it's the only home I've ever known. It's a mad scary place if you can't maneuver between its cracks.....Like the rest of NYC, it never sleeps.' Zeppa has written a book that combines the harshness of reality with an introduction of fantasy and magic that promises to create an ongoing series of stories that explore territory heretofore unexplored.
Grady Harp
May 9, 2019
I’m a sucker for a good gay love story, especially one full of pathos. I like A.V. Zeppa’s books because they’re relevant to our differing cultures, interesting and easy to read.
I would rate Zeppa’s books with five stars, but I simply can’t because of the errors I find, technical and otherwise.
If Zeppa is reusing characters across novels, he should be more consistent. The title character in this book, Miguel Montag, is a bright, but insecure, gay 15-year-old starting high school who peppers his language with urban slang. In,“Deep is the heart”, Miguel Montag is an important secondary character. In both books Miguel is the same age, with the same rough background and family history. Same emo skater look, and has the same boyfriend. But in “Deep is the heart”, he is more of a genius. Instead of a freshman in high school, he’s a freshman at Columbia University, who in his own words “could have graduated HS at age twelve but elected not to”, and he has different academic interests. He also doesn’t speak in urban slang as he does in this book.
As for the technical issues, Zeppa seems to rely solely on a spell checker, whereas human eyes would find many other errors. There are words missing from sentences. A spell checker wouldn’t discover that. Misspelled words like “By” instead of “buy”, and “Rapped” instead of “wrapped” would also elude a spell checker because the misspellings are also valid words. Zeppa should make use of beta readers. I’m sure many of his readers would be happy to do it.
I would rate Zeppa’s books with five stars, but I simply can’t because of the errors I find, technical and otherwise.
If Zeppa is reusing characters across novels, he should be more consistent. The title character in this book, Miguel Montag, is a bright, but insecure, gay 15-year-old starting high school who peppers his language with urban slang. In,“Deep is the heart”, Miguel Montag is an important secondary character. In both books Miguel is the same age, with the same rough background and family history. Same emo skater look, and has the same boyfriend. But in “Deep is the heart”, he is more of a genius. Instead of a freshman in high school, he’s a freshman at Columbia University, who in his own words “could have graduated HS at age twelve but elected not to”, and he has different academic interests. He also doesn’t speak in urban slang as he does in this book.
As for the technical issues, Zeppa seems to rely solely on a spell checker, whereas human eyes would find many other errors. There are words missing from sentences. A spell checker wouldn’t discover that. Misspelled words like “By” instead of “buy”, and “Rapped” instead of “wrapped” would also elude a spell checker because the misspellings are also valid words. Zeppa should make use of beta readers. I’m sure many of his readers would be happy to do it.
February 6, 2020
Interesting yet good book
This was an interesting book. Just finished book one and it was full of emotion and sadness. The love and connection between Miguel and Gabriel was powerful and beautiful. This was an interestingly good story. I can’t wait to start journal 2 and 3. Definitely recommend this book and the other two books a Deep Is The Heart books 1 and 2.
This was an interesting book. Just finished book one and it was full of emotion and sadness. The love and connection between Miguel and Gabriel was powerful and beautiful. This was an interestingly good story. I can’t wait to start journal 2 and 3. Definitely recommend this book and the other two books a Deep Is The Heart books 1 and 2.
November 11, 2020
A good storyline evaporated.
The story had too much repetitiveness, and the "magic" was irrational and a distraction from an otherwise good storyline. The ending - at St Patricks - completely ruined the story for me. I won't bother reading the rest of the series.
The story had too much repetitiveness, and the "magic" was irrational and a distraction from an otherwise good storyline. The ending - at St Patricks - completely ruined the story for me. I won't bother reading the rest of the series.
April 5, 2023
Amazing
It was a amazing book about abuse and being gay and not being like everyone else it really help through this age of trying to figure my stuff out.
It was a amazing book about abuse and being gay and not being like everyone else it really help through this age of trying to figure my stuff out.
January 5, 2022
There’s obvious grammatical errors in the book. One thing that ticked me off is the use of the n-word knowing that the author is a white man, though I know why he used it, he should’ve censored it. This book is more of a fanfic, but like one of those bad fanfics. His writing style is completely understandable, though he overused words such as “kool” or “Ohmygod.” Please look at a thesaurus.
April 24, 2025
Miguel's Secret Journal' (Books 1-3) by A.V. Zeppa
There are 3 books in this series, all of which might be helpful to read before reading 'Dillon Who Lives Next Door' (which takes place after these but I read it first), in which Miguel and Gabe show up to help Dillon and his friends during several crises.
Miguel's surprising first encounters with Gabe, their connection to each other and what their ongoing quests entail, are all pretty amazing and enlightening. Miguel discovers who Gabe, and even himself, actually are!
~~♠︎~~~《Trigger Warnings:》~~~♠︎~~
extreme homophobia, including parental, abuse and bullying and harassment (both verbal & physical) at home and at school/in public, physical violence and attempted murder.
Don't take this warning lightly, especially for teens/YA, as some scenes can get very intense!
~~~~~~♠︎~~~~~~♠︎~~~~~~♠︎~~~~~~~~
I think the author did a good job writing about LGBTQ+ teens/YAs, delving into what those experiences might look and feel like from an insider POV, in a sometimes beautiful, sometimes horrific world.
It's well-written (aside from some typo & spelling errors), exploring the issues of 'coming out' while being a gay teen: includes issues of abandonment, trust and acceptance, amid a lot of homophobia, parental abuse, plus some occurring at school or in other public areas.
At the same time Miguel is also learning about trust & acceptance, friendship & love, some coming from unexpected sources.
There's a strong Catholic religious component to these books, an integral piece of these tales which I didn't mind, as it wasn't 'preached' at me. I actually did get invested in the whole alt reality and mysterious mystical beings components; I think those are a part of most spiritual and religious systems.
NOTE: I do recommend this book, and this whole series, with the caution that it is more suitable for older teens (16+?) & YA, due to the violence perpetrated against the MC and his friends, as it can get pretty intense at times.
These are not 'cute' nor 'fluffy' books; they are very angst-ridden, with definite life & death situations arising!
However, they are well worth the read as the author takes us by the hand, leading us into alternate realities, non-ordinary realities, and it's a hella amazing ride!
This was a great read, an engaging storyline, and I will definitely read more by this author.
(NOTE: I have already read 'Dillon Who Lives Next Door', which takes place after these 3 books; it was really good!)
There are 3 books in this series, all of which might be helpful to read before reading 'Dillon Who Lives Next Door' (which takes place after these but I read it first), in which Miguel and Gabe show up to help Dillon and his friends during several crises.
Miguel's surprising first encounters with Gabe, their connection to each other and what their ongoing quests entail, are all pretty amazing and enlightening. Miguel discovers who Gabe, and even himself, actually are!
~~♠︎~~~《Trigger Warnings:》~~~♠︎~~
extreme homophobia, including parental, abuse and bullying and harassment (both verbal & physical) at home and at school/in public, physical violence and attempted murder.
Don't take this warning lightly, especially for teens/YA, as some scenes can get very intense!
~~~~~~♠︎~~~~~~♠︎~~~~~~♠︎~~~~~~~~
I think the author did a good job writing about LGBTQ+ teens/YAs, delving into what those experiences might look and feel like from an insider POV, in a sometimes beautiful, sometimes horrific world.
It's well-written (aside from some typo & spelling errors), exploring the issues of 'coming out' while being a gay teen: includes issues of abandonment, trust and acceptance, amid a lot of homophobia, parental abuse, plus some occurring at school or in other public areas.
At the same time Miguel is also learning about trust & acceptance, friendship & love, some coming from unexpected sources.
There's a strong Catholic religious component to these books, an integral piece of these tales which I didn't mind, as it wasn't 'preached' at me. I actually did get invested in the whole alt reality and mysterious mystical beings components; I think those are a part of most spiritual and religious systems.
NOTE: I do recommend this book, and this whole series, with the caution that it is more suitable for older teens (16+?) & YA, due to the violence perpetrated against the MC and his friends, as it can get pretty intense at times.
These are not 'cute' nor 'fluffy' books; they are very angst-ridden, with definite life & death situations arising!
However, they are well worth the read as the author takes us by the hand, leading us into alternate realities, non-ordinary realities, and it's a hella amazing ride!
This was a great read, an engaging storyline, and I will definitely read more by this author.
(NOTE: I have already read 'Dillon Who Lives Next Door', which takes place after these 3 books; it was really good!)
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews