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É o Seu Filho, Não é um Hamster!
Do you sometimes feel like a gerbil running on a wheel inside a cage as you scurry from place to place, chauffeuring your children from one endless activity to another? What if, for one moment, you could just step off of the wheel . . . and relax? How would you feel then? And what if that single moment could stretch into an hour, or even a whole day? "It's Your Kid, Not a Gerbil" will provide practical solutions and helpful insight to get off the activity wheel so that you can put your time and energies where they really count: in establishing strong character and a love for home and family that will serve your kids well for a lifetime.
271 pages, Paperback
First published August 1, 2011
6 people are currently reading
127 people want to read
About the author
Kevin Leman
221 books382 followersDr. Kevin Leman, an internationally known psychologist, radio and television personality, and speaker, has taught and entertained audiences worldwide with his wit and commonsense psychology. The best-selling and award-winning author has made house calls for hundreds of radio and television programs, including The View with Barbara Walters, The Today Show, Oprah, CBS's The Early Show, Live with Regis Philbin, CNN's American Morning, and LIFE Today with James Robison, and he has served as a contributing family psychologist to Good Morning America. He is the founder and president of Couples of Promise, an organization designed and committed to helping couples remain happily married. Dr. Leman is also a charter faculty member of iQuestions.com. He has written over 30 best-selling books about marriage and family issues, including The Birth Order Book and Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage. Dr. Leman and his wife, Sande, live in Tucson. They have five children.
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
March 11, 2018
If you need parenting advice, get it from someone who has been there, done that. Repeatedly. Like Dr. Kevin Leman, who has five kids.
However, parents who subscribe to the notion of kiasuism, helicopter parenting, overparenting, or whatever it is called these days, may deem the tone too preachy for their liking. Which is a shame. While the front part of the book relies heavily on personal anecdotes or just pure persuasion to argue its case, some research data from relevant sources or experts in the field are used subsequently to back up Leman’s statements.
Unfortunately, some of the chapters are a bit repetitive and the points raised by Leman sound like common sense or overused arguments. Halfway through, the book meandered to parenting advice (e.g. on discipline) that’s unrelated to the subject matter of its title.
It’s a good read, but it probably won’t win many converts despite the liberal dose of humour sprinkled throughout the book.
However, parents who subscribe to the notion of kiasuism, helicopter parenting, overparenting, or whatever it is called these days, may deem the tone too preachy for their liking. Which is a shame. While the front part of the book relies heavily on personal anecdotes or just pure persuasion to argue its case, some research data from relevant sources or experts in the field are used subsequently to back up Leman’s statements.
Unfortunately, some of the chapters are a bit repetitive and the points raised by Leman sound like common sense or overused arguments. Halfway through, the book meandered to parenting advice (e.g. on discipline) that’s unrelated to the subject matter of its title.
It’s a good read, but it probably won’t win many converts despite the liberal dose of humour sprinkled throughout the book.
February 15, 2024
"E Seu Filho, Não um Hamster: Reduza o Estresse na Educação das Crianças" de Kevin Leman é um guia inspirador e prático que destaca a importância de criar um ambiente familiar amoroso, significativo e acolhedor para o desenvolvimento saudável das crianças. Com exemplos pessoais e conselhos perspicazes, o autor enfatiza a relevância de investir nas relações familiares, celebrar os momentos especiais e promover a autossuficiência e habilidades práticas desde cedo. Ao abordar temas como a conexão familiar, a valorização do lar como refúgio e a reflexão sobre as escolhas familiares, o livro convida os leitores a repensarem suas abordagens na educação dos filhos, visando um ambiente menos estressante e mais centrado na família.
October 14, 2018
To be honest, I don't like self-help books, nor do I typically read non-fiction.....
With that said, the girls in my life group at church decided to read this book together.
In 2 days I had this book read, re-read and highlighted up one side and down the other!
I absolutely loved this book. It was extremely convicting once I allowed to admit the truths in my life.
I highly recommend this book!!!!!!!
With that said, the girls in my life group at church decided to read this book together.
In 2 days I had this book read, re-read and highlighted up one side and down the other!
I absolutely loved this book. It was extremely convicting once I allowed to admit the truths in my life.
I highly recommend this book!!!!!!!
April 13, 2020
[These are mostly my own notes to remind me of what I read.]
This book advises parents to lead their family from an over-scheduled, disconnected life back to the home.
The advice is counter-cultural.
It is connected to valuing one's children for who they are instead of their accomplishments.
It is a good reminder that staying home gives children the time and space they need to develop, be creative, and develop strong familial ties.
This book advises parents to lead their family from an over-scheduled, disconnected life back to the home.
The advice is counter-cultural.
It is connected to valuing one's children for who they are instead of their accomplishments.
It is a good reminder that staying home gives children the time and space they need to develop, be creative, and develop strong familial ties.
November 5, 2021
Este livro mudou a forma como encarava as atividades extracurricular dos meus filhos! Desde então, temos privilegiado passar momentos em contacto na natureza. Também modificou a minha forma de estar neste mundo capitalista. Fez-me voltar às origens, desacelerar e focar no que é mais importante. É um livro excelente e recomendo vivamente a todos os pais do século XXI. Sinto que é urgente votarmos a nossa atenção para as coisas mais importantes e menos efémeras.
September 10, 2011
-Tyndale House Publishers has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review-
It's so refreshing to have someone tell us to relax, to slow down, to enjoy our families and to just spend quality time together. It seems kind of odd that we need someone to tell us this, because it seems like it would be common sense, but there are fewer people out there projecting this message than it would seem. Instead, we're pressured to be super parents, to schedule every single minute of our childrens' time with educational and developmentally valuable material and activities, to groom them to succeed in every moment.
Being a parent is a job where one feels constant pressure, so much pressure - from others as well as from ourselves... I actually found myself next to tears in a couple of places of this book, thinking about the way I pressure myself and constantly guilt myself for not doing more and more with my child - who is only just over 3 1/2 years old and is *already* reading - the point being that he's *obviously* doing well, and yet I still feel like I'm not doing "enough", like I should be doing even "more", instead of telling myself we're obviously doing well and I need to feel comfortable enough to let him just be a kid, to "just play" without feeling guilty for not "doing" so much, if that makes sense. To have someone say that it is not only okay, but *important* to learn to slow down, to have down time, to enjoy the time we have together as a family, instead of constantly pressuring ourselves to be "perfect" was *such* a nice change.
I may not agree with absolutely everything the author says in this book, but the overall message is one that I really can get behind. And there are so many resources in this book - he touches on ten ways to rear a child from the inside out, on things like reality discipline, the idea of reacting vs. responding to our children, grading the grades, focusing on who your child is more than what he or she may do, and much more, even a section on the importance of keeping your marriage strong, and sections for single parents as well. Each chapter ends with questions to consider and tips or highlights relating to the material you just read, and there are boxes scattered throughout the chapters with information, tips, and questions that also tie into the material.
All I know is that in a world where we seem to be told that putting our kid on the wheel of countless activities is the right thing to do to give him or her a leg up in life, it is really nice to have someone focus on the fact that a family is healthier, and does better, when the members actually take time to *be* a family. This is a book anyone who feels guilty for "not doing enough" would benefit from, as it will help to ease the pressure we feel to push our children, to take every single available moment to groom them instead of enjoying them or letting them be children. And it is one I would hope parents who are stuck on the wheel, as he says, would read and consider as well.
It's so refreshing to have someone tell us to relax, to slow down, to enjoy our families and to just spend quality time together. It seems kind of odd that we need someone to tell us this, because it seems like it would be common sense, but there are fewer people out there projecting this message than it would seem. Instead, we're pressured to be super parents, to schedule every single minute of our childrens' time with educational and developmentally valuable material and activities, to groom them to succeed in every moment.
Being a parent is a job where one feels constant pressure, so much pressure - from others as well as from ourselves... I actually found myself next to tears in a couple of places of this book, thinking about the way I pressure myself and constantly guilt myself for not doing more and more with my child - who is only just over 3 1/2 years old and is *already* reading - the point being that he's *obviously* doing well, and yet I still feel like I'm not doing "enough", like I should be doing even "more", instead of telling myself we're obviously doing well and I need to feel comfortable enough to let him just be a kid, to "just play" without feeling guilty for not "doing" so much, if that makes sense. To have someone say that it is not only okay, but *important* to learn to slow down, to have down time, to enjoy the time we have together as a family, instead of constantly pressuring ourselves to be "perfect" was *such* a nice change.
I may not agree with absolutely everything the author says in this book, but the overall message is one that I really can get behind. And there are so many resources in this book - he touches on ten ways to rear a child from the inside out, on things like reality discipline, the idea of reacting vs. responding to our children, grading the grades, focusing on who your child is more than what he or she may do, and much more, even a section on the importance of keeping your marriage strong, and sections for single parents as well. Each chapter ends with questions to consider and tips or highlights relating to the material you just read, and there are boxes scattered throughout the chapters with information, tips, and questions that also tie into the material.
All I know is that in a world where we seem to be told that putting our kid on the wheel of countless activities is the right thing to do to give him or her a leg up in life, it is really nice to have someone focus on the fact that a family is healthier, and does better, when the members actually take time to *be* a family. This is a book anyone who feels guilty for "not doing enough" would benefit from, as it will help to ease the pressure we feel to push our children, to take every single available moment to groom them instead of enjoying them or letting them be children. And it is one I would hope parents who are stuck on the wheel, as he says, would read and consider as well.
September 30, 2011
Finally a great parenting book that is relevant to this generation of both parents and kids that make sense from a Christian perspective. Both my husband and I enjoyed reading chapters of this to one another considering some new alternatives to problems that impact our family's.
Do activities rule your family? Do you have a superkid - or a super-stressed kid? Does your busyness keep you from leaving the indelible imprint you long to have on your child's life? Does next week's schedule leave you exhausted at the mere thought of it?
Most kids today can text faster than a woodpecker with ADHD. But do they have the relational skills that will bring them ultimate satisfaction and fulfillment? In It's Your Kid, Not A Gerbil, internationally known family expert and father of five Dr. Kevin Leman reveals the secrets to:
battling the 'busy hands are happy hands' myth
choosing activities wisely
creating an atmosphere you kids will love to come home to
capturing your child's heart...for a lifetime
Isn't it time to trade in the stress-filled SUV miles for peace-filled hours? The result will be happier, more confident and secure children...and a less-stressed you.
If you feel like me and at times feel like you've reached the end of your rope in how to deal with your kids, from school issues, homework, friends, social issues, technology challenges, and even how to balance it all from work to family time, then trust me, this IS the book for you. The best part is you can just dive right on in. Pick something that is relevant for you and your situation and see what the options are.
We loved the chapter dedicated to balancing work and family and it really hit home for us. The best part is defining what everything is worth considering the cost. To us, since the time with the kids are so limited, we have vowed to do everything we can to show them how important they are to us and even in looking back, we can see our kids greatest memories are the ones that showed we took time out for them, not how much money we spent. That is priceless.
I received this book compliments of Tyndale House Publishers for my honest review and I can't wait to share this book with you. Highly recommended at 5 out of 5 stars and a must for any family to cope with the parenting techniques this generation needs to keep our kids happy, balanced and respected among their peers. Ready to get off the wheel?
Do activities rule your family? Do you have a superkid - or a super-stressed kid? Does your busyness keep you from leaving the indelible imprint you long to have on your child's life? Does next week's schedule leave you exhausted at the mere thought of it?
Most kids today can text faster than a woodpecker with ADHD. But do they have the relational skills that will bring them ultimate satisfaction and fulfillment? In It's Your Kid, Not A Gerbil, internationally known family expert and father of five Dr. Kevin Leman reveals the secrets to:
battling the 'busy hands are happy hands' myth
choosing activities wisely
creating an atmosphere you kids will love to come home to
capturing your child's heart...for a lifetime
Isn't it time to trade in the stress-filled SUV miles for peace-filled hours? The result will be happier, more confident and secure children...and a less-stressed you.
If you feel like me and at times feel like you've reached the end of your rope in how to deal with your kids, from school issues, homework, friends, social issues, technology challenges, and even how to balance it all from work to family time, then trust me, this IS the book for you. The best part is you can just dive right on in. Pick something that is relevant for you and your situation and see what the options are.
We loved the chapter dedicated to balancing work and family and it really hit home for us. The best part is defining what everything is worth considering the cost. To us, since the time with the kids are so limited, we have vowed to do everything we can to show them how important they are to us and even in looking back, we can see our kids greatest memories are the ones that showed we took time out for them, not how much money we spent. That is priceless.
I received this book compliments of Tyndale House Publishers for my honest review and I can't wait to share this book with you. Highly recommended at 5 out of 5 stars and a must for any family to cope with the parenting techniques this generation needs to keep our kids happy, balanced and respected among their peers. Ready to get off the wheel?
August 16, 2016
"Every sacrifice you make now will pay dividends both now and down the road. That's because a child's positive self-image, view of the world, concept of faith, and sense of security are all formed by spending time with parents in a loving environment." Dr. Kevin Leman
No pressure or anything. :)
This book had some good points and I underlined them here and there throughout the book. I've read quite a few family/parenting books in the 30+ years I've been a parent and this one didn't stand out for me. It was okay and maybe would appeal to a younger dad, mom or care giver but it wasn't a fascinating (to say the least) read for me.
One thing though, shared in the pages of this book should be shouted from the top of every parent's roof top:
"When does your 'help' hurt your kids? When you do things they can do for themselves."
We've parented both ways ... not helping our kids with what they could do themselves and helping too much. The former is surely the better way.
I didn't learn to survive and thrive when I've managed it from what my mom did for me but I have been empowered from what she expected me to do without her help. This is a great lesson the book shares more on.
Another great point shared by this author is to let children learn from their own consequences. Instead of getting frustrated, nagging, and/or complaining over having to pay for their actions... don't. Let them wear dirty clothes if they don't get them to the laundry and/or deal with school discipline if they forget an assignment. Don't take away from your time to fix it. Trust me, some of us need every single second of the school day to do what ever it is we need to do!
In case it sounds like I am telling you what to do... please know I'm not. I wouldn't do that to you for it would imply that I am a shining example to follow. I have both been successful in this area and failed beyond miserably. The one thing I did right and strongly encourage anyone who will listen is... I prayed for God to teach and train my kids in spite of my failures... that is worth repeating!
I received this book from Tyndale Publishers at no cost in exchange for an honest review.
No pressure or anything. :)
This book had some good points and I underlined them here and there throughout the book. I've read quite a few family/parenting books in the 30+ years I've been a parent and this one didn't stand out for me. It was okay and maybe would appeal to a younger dad, mom or care giver but it wasn't a fascinating (to say the least) read for me.
One thing though, shared in the pages of this book should be shouted from the top of every parent's roof top:
"When does your 'help' hurt your kids? When you do things they can do for themselves."
We've parented both ways ... not helping our kids with what they could do themselves and helping too much. The former is surely the better way.
I didn't learn to survive and thrive when I've managed it from what my mom did for me but I have been empowered from what she expected me to do without her help. This is a great lesson the book shares more on.
Another great point shared by this author is to let children learn from their own consequences. Instead of getting frustrated, nagging, and/or complaining over having to pay for their actions... don't. Let them wear dirty clothes if they don't get them to the laundry and/or deal with school discipline if they forget an assignment. Don't take away from your time to fix it. Trust me, some of us need every single second of the school day to do what ever it is we need to do!
In case it sounds like I am telling you what to do... please know I'm not. I wouldn't do that to you for it would imply that I am a shining example to follow. I have both been successful in this area and failed beyond miserably. The one thing I did right and strongly encourage anyone who will listen is... I prayed for God to teach and train my kids in spite of my failures... that is worth repeating!
I received this book from Tyndale Publishers at no cost in exchange for an honest review.
September 21, 2011
And since I am bringing up how we raise our kids. And what we teach them. Have you thought of what they are learning when they are so busy you can't slow down? You know what I mean. Wake early so they can dress, have breakfast and do a morning jog before school so they have that extra practice for track and field. Or as soon as school is out they are headed to the barns to care for their FFA project animal. What about rushing home to have a quick meal in the car so they won't be late for the baseball practice or is it soccer today? Multiply kids equal multiply activities. Dance, sports, music, community groups......what do they do? Are your kiddos learning to run run run through out their days?
Or is it wake, breakfast and then plenty of time without the rush to get to class? Home after school so that they can do their homework, have a snack and decompress some before the family time begins? Weekends of games with the family and home projects while learning at mom and dad's side? I am not saying do not have activities. But to do so with moderation. 'It's Your Kid not a Gerbil' is a great book by Dr. Kevin Leman that helps you create a happier and less stressed home. A great guide to know what is good at what age for kiddos. How they can learn and still be part of a loving family unit. And more so just what steps you can take to help make the stress levels for everyone be at a minimum. Even better? I have a gift certificate for one of my lucky readers to receive this book from Tyndale House Publishers. It is good til the end of this year. So you can also use it as a Christmas gift for that son or daughter who is starting their own families too.
Or is it wake, breakfast and then plenty of time without the rush to get to class? Home after school so that they can do their homework, have a snack and decompress some before the family time begins? Weekends of games with the family and home projects while learning at mom and dad's side? I am not saying do not have activities. But to do so with moderation. 'It's Your Kid not a Gerbil' is a great book by Dr. Kevin Leman that helps you create a happier and less stressed home. A great guide to know what is good at what age for kiddos. How they can learn and still be part of a loving family unit. And more so just what steps you can take to help make the stress levels for everyone be at a minimum. Even better? I have a gift certificate for one of my lucky readers to receive this book from Tyndale House Publishers. It is good til the end of this year. So you can also use it as a Christmas gift for that son or daughter who is starting their own families too.
August 20, 2011
I was drawn to Dr. Kevin Leman’s new book “It’s Your Kid, Not a Gerbil” mainly because of the title. Many parents frowned upon their child or kids as a gerbil, which incidentally is a small mammal of the order rodentia, and was once known simply as "desert rats". R-A-T-S! that is how today’s parents eye their children in the busy-ness of daily life.
Dr. Leman, in this book, focuses on practical solutions and offers helpful insights as to where parents should “actually” put their time and energy so as not to cause any imbalance in the daily grind of life. I believe Dr. Leman’s has made a sincere attempt to provide much-needed tips to bond the family together so as to establish strong character and a love for home and family that will serve your kids well for a lifetime.
Dr. Leman, in this book, focuses on practical solutions and offers helpful insights as to where parents should “actually” put their time and energy so as not to cause any imbalance in the daily grind of life. I believe Dr. Leman’s has made a sincere attempt to provide much-needed tips to bond the family together so as to establish strong character and a love for home and family that will serve your kids well for a lifetime.
November 27, 2011
It isn't often that I find a parenting book that I think everyone can learn from. This book makes me realize that even though we aren't scheduled with something every day of the week we are a fairly busy family and more downtime wouldn't hurt member of the family. I've passed the book on to my husband with plans to pass it to a friend in the near future. The friend is getting the book because she showed an interest in it. Dr. Leman's format was an easy read and I didn't find it preachy, but it was based on his experiences with his family and those of the families he has meet across the U.S.
November 28, 2012
Many refreshing points and motivation for being confident in raising kids your own way rather than feeling pressured to do the same as others.
Some repetitiveness in chapters or points that seem like common sense or overused arguments.
I liked the book and would encourage newer parents to read it... I wish I had back when my first was a baby.
Some repetitiveness in chapters or points that seem like common sense or overused arguments.
I liked the book and would encourage newer parents to read it... I wish I had back when my first was a baby.
January 2, 2012
I raced through this book and found it insightful, interesting, and helpful. Getting off the activity wheel and focusing more on being together as a family is critical. I especially appreciate the reminder to see and value each child's uniqueness, strengths, and passions rather than comparing him/her to siblings, cousins, or other children.
September 3, 2013
Highly recommend this book to all parents! Our children are growing up in a society that values busyness. This book will show you how and why to lesson your children's activities to make an important impact in their lives.
January 3, 2013
I think everybody, regardless of whether or not they have children, need to read this book.
February 24, 2013
I would recommend this book to any parent.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews