Cheating on Myself

by Erin Soderberg Downing

What happens when good enough just isn't enough anymore?

Stella Dahl assumed her life was as good as it was ever going to get. But after twelve years with a man who’s more a habit than husband material, she walks out on her bland existence, determined to start over. Goaded by her friends and a group of crass retirees she befriends at water aerobics, Stella plunges back into the dating pool. After a few false starts, she meets Joe, the sexy banjo player in a popular children’s band. He’s cocky, a smirking flirt, and a musician...everything she’s *not* looking for in a guy. Even still, she begins to fall — hard.

Just when Stella is beginning to think she could find true happiness, a family tragedy turns her world upside down. As she tries to hold together everything that’s crumbling around her, Stella starts slipping back into old habits — and away from Joe. Soon, she begins to wonder: Is she really destined for anything more than a life that’s good enough?

For fans of Jennifer Weiner and Kristan Higgins, CHEATING ON MYSELF is a touching, laugh-out-loud romantic comedy about starting over and finding your happily ever after.

Genres: Chick Lit, Romance, Amazon, Contemporary Romance

253 pages, Paperback

First published September 30, 2013

About the author

I read and write lots of funny, adventurous, & heartwarming books for kids, tweens, and teens (and even a few romantic comedies for adults, too!) that are ultimately about finding your place, finding your people, and finding your voice. I always love book recommendations, so please send them my way. As a reader, I'm partial to contemporary romantic comedy, thrillers that keep the pages turning and have well-built characters, funny/original voices, quirky characters, and always kids' books with humor and heart.

Reviews

[Erin Downing · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the first book I've written for adults, and I can't wait for people to read it!! It was so fun to write - hopefully it will be even more fun to read.

[Jessica Johnson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Goodreads Description:
What happens when good enough just isn't enough anymore?
Stella Dahl assumed her life was as good as it was ever going to get. But after twelve years with a man who’s more a habit than husband material, she walks out on her bland existence, determined to start over. Goaded by her friends and a group of crass retirees she befriends at water aerobics, Stella plunges back into the dating pool. After a few false starts, she meets Joe, the sexy banjo player in a popular children’s band. He’s cocky, a smirking flirt, and a musician...everything she’s *not* looking for in a guy. Even still, she begins to fall — hard.
Just when Stella is beginning to think she could find true happiness, a family tragedy turns her world upside down. As she tries to hold together everything that’s crumbling around her, Stella starts slipping back into old habits — and away from Joe. Soon, she begins to wonder: Is she really destined for anything more than a life that’s good enough?
For fans of Jennifer Weiner and Kristan Higgins, CHEATING ON MYSELF is a touching, laugh-out-loud romantic comedy about starting over and finding your happily ever after.

My Review:

I was a bit torn on this book. I give it 2.5 stars out of 5 because....well....it felt like trudging through mud for me to finish this book. But I liked it enough to push through and finish it.

When I read the description and saw the cover, I thought it would be a cute little romantic comedy about a woman who finds herself wanting more out of life. Even though there is a love story in there, it wasn't the main focus and it really wasn't a love story persay.

Don't get me wrong....it wasn't completely horrible....but I probably wouldn't give it a high recommendation. Mainly for the fact that the story was blah and seemed so very long. I'll get more into that in a minute.

I'll go over the characters in the book first....

Stella....she was a likable character sometimes. Well, for me, not very often. I found her whiny and pretty much a wimp who wouldn't stand up for herself. That could be due to the fact she had a rough go of it most of her young adult life.I can see that to a point I suppose. But throughout the book, she just....can't make a decision and lets people walk all over her.

Eric is douche. Pretty plan and simple. She's with him for 12 years. I guess when you're stuck in a rut....that's what you get. I really didn't understand his appeal in this book. That might be because the author didn't really paint a good picture of him.

Joe....He seemed really adorable and cute. He was. Just a little too "go with the flow" for me. He put up with a lot of stupid crap from Stella which I gave him mad props for. He stuck by her and wanted to be with her so he was a nice character. He had a really sweet heart and was willing to change his "whorish ways". He was pretty damn honest with Stella from the beginning and so he was probably my favorite character in the book.

All of Stella's friends were pretty damn judgmental. This whole book was based off a lot of judgemental. Stella getting the brunt of it and dishing it out herself. Her friends were really.....not who I would've picked as friends I guess. I don't really see the appeal to most of them.

I'm starting to get ranty so I think I'm going to end my review here. Overall....this book didn't work for me. It could work for other people but all I got to say is I'm glad I got this for free. I try to research my freebies before downloading them and this has quite a few 5 and 4 star reviews. It just wasn't my kind of book.

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved Cheating on Myself. It was such a feel good romantic comedy that made me laugh and gasp and sigh (in a good way). Every once in a while, I find myself craving a good rom com with characters that I connect with and care about and Cheating on Myself did not disappoint. I’ve read the author’s YA novel, None of the Regular Rules and knew I liked her style and character building, so I’m glad I decided to go ahead and review this adult romantic comedy.

Stella was the kind of character I could really understand and even relate to, being a list person myself. She thought she had everything planned out, but realized not a bit of it actually made her happy. I loved her bravery for putting herself back out into the world by herself. She made me laugh, though I totally understood her frustration at doing things alone and missing the comforts a boring and stale, but stable relationship had to offer.

Stella’s friends were wonderful and hilarious. They seemed to enjoy her new freedom and encouraged her to push herself and try new things. The old ladies in the water aerobics class she signed up for had me laughing out loud and the advice they gave was so real and blunt! I found Cheating on Myself to be believable and I really rooted for Stella to find her own way in the world. The conflict was very push and pull and I never knew what Stella might decide or what the consequences of certain decisions would be. I didn’t know how it would end, but I found myself eagerly turning the pages to figure out what on earth would happen next.

Cheating on Myself was full of romance, drama, and humor and dealt with the issues of finding yourself, figuring out what you want, and being independent. I loved it and a highly recommend it to anyone looking for a light story with memorable characters. Erin Downing is a fabulous contemporary author. I wasn’t sure how her adult novel would be compared to YA, but I thought it was perfect. She really gets into her characters and is able to pull off an extremely believable and relatable story. Stella dealt with real world adult problems and had to navigate life as a newly single person and I thought the author executed the struggles well. Cheating on Myself is the kind of story I’d really love to be turned into a movie.

[Alison (Ali's Books) Flores · Rating 3 out of 5]

Throughout the book Stella is just trying to figure out what she wants, and if she’s making the right decisions. She is very stiff/disciplined and has lived her life according to a list she made when she was fifteen. Now when she hasn’t marked off the last line of her list – getting married, she begins to question everything. Problem is – it is a long back-and-forth process to figure things out.


So, I wasn’t crazy about this book. I just couldn’t make myself care about Stella. Since the story was Stella’s, it ruined the book for me. I have to point out that it was a personal preference thing, though. The pacing was fine. The characters were well-developed, or at least they were as well-developed as possible, and the plot made sense. The deal there is that Stella wasn’t sure who she was or what she wanted. She wasn’t particularly concerned about who she hurt to figure it out, either, which was often sad for me, and this is supposed to be a romantic comedy. Now I will say, that I definitely found myself laughing a few times. This story wasn’t pure junk. It just seriously lacked a romantic element for me because Stella found herself between two guys (although the story isn’t really about that), and I liked both of them, but Stella just had issues with both. I found myself feeling equally bad for both of them and disliking Stella further. I didn’t really feel the happily ever after at the end.


Would I read another book by Erin Downing? Yes! I don’t think there’s anything wrong with her writing. Although I picked this up as a free ebook, there were few editing issues. I enjoyed her writing style, I just wasn’t crazy about Stella, although some of you may absolutely LOVE her. As I mentioned, it’s just a personal preference. Matter of fact, I’d really like to get a story giving Erik’s (her ex’s) happily ever after.

[Heather Wood · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed Cheating on Myself more than I expected. The premise didn’t sound like something I would really be into, but I’ve read another book by the author so I decided to give it a shot. I’m glad I did because I found it to be a fun romantic comedy about discovering yourself for the first time in years.

The setup was simple enough. Stella finally decides she’s had enough of a dead-end relationship. She works for a marketing firm and she’s been in a relationship with a corporate guy. It was fun to see her step out of her comfort zone and go for a member of a children’s band. Her relationship with Joe leads to some funny laugh out loud moments.

The workplace drama and dynamics were a little dull for me, but that’s more of a personal preference. Otherwise, I liked how Stella grew as a character and decided to stop trying to mold herself into the perfect woman for a man who would never commit. Stella was exasperating at times, but her sense of humor and wit made me cheer for her over the course of the novel.

I would recommend this read for lovers of contemporary romances with humor. It was a quick read for me and I would definitely read another book by the author.

Rating: 4/5 Stars

I received a copy of this novel from the author for review.

[Kristina · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was looking for one of those lightweight, read-in-an-afternoon sort of books, and the description for this one referred to a sexy banjo player so of course that did it for me. The story was fine, I guess, although the heroine and her whiny, doormat-like tendencies got a little annoying. But I liked the aforementioned sexy banjo player and the girls' friend Anders (whose issue was entirely guessable by anyone who wasn't totally obsessed with herself). Would probably have preferred to read more about those two than about Stella, but oh well. I pretty much got what I expected out of this, so no complaints.

[Kim Hruba · Rating 5 out of 5]

Downing boldly addresses a touchy subject, "What happens when good enough, just isn't good enough anymore?" I'm guessing that reviews of, or reactions to, this book are going to be intrinsically linked to one's own feelings about the personal relationships they have. It made me think and I like it when a book does that. I loved her voice, writing style, pacing, and humor - especially those water aerobics ladies. I didn't care for Stella's constant rumination on Joe's history, but on the other hand, her over-analysis was true to the character.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cute story about a woman in her 30's realizing after 12 years in the same relationship she has lost sight of what she wants. She finds herself questioning her decisions and her job.

[Michele Cousens · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an addictive read. A story about a woman who had thought she had her life planned out, but the future had other plans for her.

[Leigh Ann · Rating 3 out of 5]

A decent book about finding yourself despite everyone else influencing you. I did find the main character a bit annoying at times.

[KStar · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a fun read. Thoroughly enjoyed reading this story. Fun, quirky romance story. : )

[Angel Obenauer]

Good Read

pretty good ebook. it had you rooting for the main character throughout. would recommend to anyone who enjoys chic lit

[Clare James · Rating 5 out of 5]

Adorable!! I loved it!!