A Will of His Own: Reflections on Parenting a Child with Autism

by Kelly Harland

Kelly Harland's stories explore her son's life to the age of 14, and the new and unexpected universe she and her husband - both professional musicians - must learn to navigate with him. Will's fears, anxieties and obsessions can dominate daily life, making a trip to the grocery store seem like a walk across a minefield. But amidst these unpredictable flip-outs and freak-outs, there are moments of wonder. When Will finally learns the give and take of conversation or dreams about his future, it rekindles his mother's belief that anything is possible.

Genres: Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Parenting, Nonfiction

160 pages, Paperback

First published June 1, 2002

Reviews

[Annie Stott · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don't think I can express how much I disliked this book. The formatting is confusing and does not flow well, the way Harland writes is extremely long-winded and often pointless. I can sympathize with so much of her story up until she starts talking about autism like it is a beast that she has to conquer. She whines and waxes poetic about how difficult it is to live with the ever-present weight of autism. The unchecked ableism in how she describes and talks about her experiences is.. upsetting. I understand that many parents feel lost and overwhelmed when they have a child with autism, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling those things. It's when parents start placing themselves in the role of struggling hero and autism as the beast that needs to be slain that there is a real issue. Literally, Harland says "I had no anger then, only a mother warrior's keen drive to go further into the jungle to find the beast and either calmly and tidily kill it or find a way through my desperation to befriend and understand it, and talk it into leaving our family territory." She also brings up vaccines as a possible reason for Will's autism without doing anything to quell the myths of vaccination causing autism, or any of the other number of pseudoscience "theories" for what causes autism. She repeatedly projects her own desperation for socialization onto her son, she tells a story of interacting with neurotypical children on a playground that is so cringe and a little creepy. She is in awe of these children to the point where she allows them to get into a mysterious bag of candy without stopping them or warning anyone of the possible danger. She hints at being desperate for her child to be like those children. Overall I would really warn anyone away from this book. If you find yourself relating to this book you NEED to check on your internalized ableism. I highly recommend reading books written by autistic people.

[Mary Katherine · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was extremely disappointing for me. While I did enjoy some of the stories the book was not cohesive and never really pulled me in. The authors writing style was undefined and it felt like I was reading diary entries rather than stories meant to draw a reader in. I believe that the author had good intentions when writing this but it did seem like she was often complaining about having an autistic son. I do feel it is important that the author did not sugarcoat her experiences, I just do not love her outlook on things. This would be great if there were just a few stories that were made into an article or if the stories were put together more cohesively.

[Iamshadow · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kelly Harland's book of essays about life with her son Will are enjoyable, and anyone who knows someone with autism will find it resonates with them. For me, this starred mediocrely not because of poor content or weak writing, but assembly. It still felt very much like a series of disconnected short anecdotes rather than a cohesive book. There seemed to be no effort made to make the book a unit. If I'd read these essays in a magazine or on a blog, this wouldn't be a problem, but in a book, I found the lack of smooth transitions a little jarring. I never really found myself drawn in, as a result, and it did distract me from complete enjoyment of the content.