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The Making of Men
Do you ever worry about your teenage son and what will become of him? Do you want to see him happy, successful and excited about life? Are you alarmed about the influence of technology on his life? Do you wonder how the enthusiastic and energetic kid who made you laugh, drove you nuts with questions and was into everything, seemingly overnight turned into a grunting teenager, unwilling or unable to communicate? If these questions concern you, or if you've answered yes to any of them, this book is for you. Father of two boys Dr Arne Rubinstein draws on his thirty years' experience working with teenagers. He reveals what happens to boys during adolescence, what you can do about it as a parent or carer, how you help them stay out of trouble, and what you need to do to ensure they grow up to be a happy, healthy and well-adjusted men. Packed with insights, practical tips and honest, no-nonsense wisdom.
263 pages, Paperback
First published May 1, 2013
47 people are currently reading
410 people want to read
About the author
Arne Rubinstein
6 books10 followersDr Arne Rubinstein is a former GP, a part-time ER doctor and more recently Founder of Uplifting Australia. He is an expert on adolescent development and Rites of Passage. The programs and seminars he helped to create have now been attended by over 20,000 people in Australia and overseas. They are designed to support families during the potentially difficult adolescent years and to help teens successfully make the transition from boys to young men and girls to young women.
His new book, The Making of Men, is a practical handbook for parents of boys and the culmination of years of experience in working with troubled teens.
Dr Arne lives on a spectacular 140 acre bush property in the Byron Shire, Australia which has been transformed into a camping and leadership training facility. Teenagers and their parents come from around Australia and overseas to participate in the workshops run there and the purpose built training facility has been created to increase facilitator numbers so that this life changing work can expand.
Dr Arne is a passionate father, surfer, yogi and jazz pianist and has 2 sons, Jarrah and Jaden aged 21 and 23. He also mentors nearly a dozen young men. He was nominated for Australian of the Year in 2008.
His new book, The Making of Men, is a practical handbook for parents of boys and the culmination of years of experience in working with troubled teens.
Dr Arne lives on a spectacular 140 acre bush property in the Byron Shire, Australia which has been transformed into a camping and leadership training facility. Teenagers and their parents come from around Australia and overseas to participate in the workshops run there and the purpose built training facility has been created to increase facilitator numbers so that this life changing work can expand.
Dr Arne is a passionate father, surfer, yogi and jazz pianist and has 2 sons, Jarrah and Jaden aged 21 and 23. He also mentors nearly a dozen young men. He was nominated for Australian of the Year in 2008.
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
June 14, 2014
This book is amazing. As a teacher who deals with adolescent boys on a daily basis, half the challenge is figuring out the background to the issue. The other half is figuring out whst you can do to support.
Trying to stop boys from burning their bridges by identifying the cause behind their developmental distress, and providing ideas as to how to address it in plain language is what makes this book so great.
I will recommend it to my colleagues.
Trying to stop boys from burning their bridges by identifying the cause behind their developmental distress, and providing ideas as to how to address it in plain language is what makes this book so great.
I will recommend it to my colleagues.
July 6, 2014
I received a copy of this book from the author through the Goodreads First Reads giveaways.
This is a concise and relevant guide to raising physically, mentally and emotionally healthy young men. Inevitably, as I was reading, I was mentally comparing it to Raising Boys, by Biddulph, and there are a lot of similarities between the two books, but The Making of Men focuses a lot more on the teenage years and the factors that contribute to the development of a healthy, holistic identity in young men. The chapters are well organised and contain real-life examples of each topic, and Rubenstein has included short summaries using dot points at the end of each chapter.
The section on the appropriate evolution of the mother-son relationship during the teen years was enlightening and, I suspect, will be of great use to readers who are wondering where there lovely little boy has gone and what they can do about it. Similarly, Rubenstein's cheat sheet for creating a boy-to-man rite of passage, for those who do not have ready access to one through their religious or cultural background, is something that readers will find valuable.
Overall this is a helpful and accessible addition to the literature on parenting boys.
Recommended.
This is a concise and relevant guide to raising physically, mentally and emotionally healthy young men. Inevitably, as I was reading, I was mentally comparing it to Raising Boys, by Biddulph, and there are a lot of similarities between the two books, but The Making of Men focuses a lot more on the teenage years and the factors that contribute to the development of a healthy, holistic identity in young men. The chapters are well organised and contain real-life examples of each topic, and Rubenstein has included short summaries using dot points at the end of each chapter.
The section on the appropriate evolution of the mother-son relationship during the teen years was enlightening and, I suspect, will be of great use to readers who are wondering where there lovely little boy has gone and what they can do about it. Similarly, Rubenstein's cheat sheet for creating a boy-to-man rite of passage, for those who do not have ready access to one through their religious or cultural background, is something that readers will find valuable.
Overall this is a helpful and accessible addition to the literature on parenting boys.
Recommended.
June 10, 2013
Loved it! Easy to read and gave such straight forward thinking. As a mum its hard to understand some of the changes your teenage son is going through, what he may or may not need in order to give them the best of what we can as parents through their teenager years. I actually feel closer with my 15 year old son since reading The Making of Men as I have instantly changed certain aspects in my parenting! I highly recommend this book!
August 30, 2013
Just a 'meh' for me. I'm not sure what the target audience for this book is. Mostly nuclear white suburban middle-class nondisabled het cis nuclear families in need of remedial basic parenting skills (and yet also willing to buy and read self-help books), as far as I can tell. And a few single het "broken home" families in need of reading yet another bloke lamenting over Teh Tragic Breakdown Of Marriages Today.
I really didn't need a lesson in how I should stop laying my 11-yo son's clothes out for him and coddling him and fulfilling his every whim, so he can learn a bit of independence. I stopped doing that stuff five or six years ago, about when he started getting himself to and from school. I didn't need a lesson in how teenager boys need their privacy sometimes, and need a balanced diet. I dunno. Maybe some people do, I just don't see them as people who are going to run out and read books like this.
I really didn't need a lesson in how I should stop laying my 11-yo son's clothes out for him and coddling him and fulfilling his every whim, so he can learn a bit of independence. I stopped doing that stuff five or six years ago, about when he started getting himself to and from school. I didn't need a lesson in how teenager boys need their privacy sometimes, and need a balanced diet. I dunno. Maybe some people do, I just don't see them as people who are going to run out and read books like this.
May 23, 2014
This book should be mandatory reading for all parents and carers of boys.
Extremely comprehensive and very well written in a warm chatty style I found myself reading it like an engrossing fiction book - at times hard to put down. There is nothing dry about this book!
The Contents pages detail the chapters making it easy to refer to when required.
The Making of Men will help to provide the answers to the uncertainties, difficulties and complexities of raising a boy to become the man they have the potential to be.
Extremely comprehensive and very well written in a warm chatty style I found myself reading it like an engrossing fiction book - at times hard to put down. There is nothing dry about this book!
The Contents pages detail the chapters making it easy to refer to when required.
The Making of Men will help to provide the answers to the uncertainties, difficulties and complexities of raising a boy to become the man they have the potential to be.
August 19, 2017
Recommended read for parents/carers of boys of any age (who will all inevitably face the transition from boyhood to manhood). The author writes from a place of depth of knowledge and practical experience but it's a very easy to read book and doesn't take too long to work through.
The book is focused around the idea of a 'Rites of Passage' (ROP) for young men. The first half of the book discusses good and bad 'boy' behaviours and 'man' behaviours, how there needs to be a transition from one to the other and changes in relationships which need to occur - effectively arguing the case for this transition to be led by a ROP. The second part of the book defines a ROP whether it be a program run by an organisation or creating your own and emphasises what the critical components are to make any successful ROP work. There is a large emphasises on support from relatives, friends, and trusted men in the community.
This book is a really interesting read. ROP is such a foreign concept in modern western culture but is a critical part of so many cultures historically. It also feels like a big challenge on how to successfully approach something like this when it is such a foreign concept, but there is a strong case for building a support network for young men with men from different generations to help them transition successfully into adulthood. At a minimum it certainly makes for mindful reading of what kind of support networks are you building for your young men.
Recommended read for any parents/carers of boys and young men of any age.
The book is focused around the idea of a 'Rites of Passage' (ROP) for young men. The first half of the book discusses good and bad 'boy' behaviours and 'man' behaviours, how there needs to be a transition from one to the other and changes in relationships which need to occur - effectively arguing the case for this transition to be led by a ROP. The second part of the book defines a ROP whether it be a program run by an organisation or creating your own and emphasises what the critical components are to make any successful ROP work. There is a large emphasises on support from relatives, friends, and trusted men in the community.
This book is a really interesting read. ROP is such a foreign concept in modern western culture but is a critical part of so many cultures historically. It also feels like a big challenge on how to successfully approach something like this when it is such a foreign concept, but there is a strong case for building a support network for young men with men from different generations to help them transition successfully into adulthood. At a minimum it certainly makes for mindful reading of what kind of support networks are you building for your young men.
Recommended read for any parents/carers of boys and young men of any age.
December 1, 2017
I received 'The Making Of Men' through Goodreads 'Firstreads' around two years ago.
I apologise for the late review.
At first I was unsure whether or not I would like reading this book because I am not a mother. I thought I'd find it boring... but I was wrong.
Dr. Arne Rubinstein writes with the passion you rarely see with some doctors. His attitude toward 'father and son relationships' and 'Rites Of Passage' for young boys becoming men is phenomenal.
I really enjoyed reading the real life stories from father's/ mother's and young men added in intervals during each chapter. I found it made the reading easier.
The only thing I was disappointed by is the author's opinion about depression. He believed it to be 'a sickness of the soul'... but he is wrong.
I know this is your opinion but you should never judge a mental illness that you know nothing about. Instead ask a psychologist or someone who lives with it in day to day life.
Anyhow... this doesn't take away Dr. Rubinstein's achievements or influence on the growing young men in Australia and all over the world today.
Congratulations on your book and keep doing such an amazing job.
I apologise for the late review.
At first I was unsure whether or not I would like reading this book because I am not a mother. I thought I'd find it boring... but I was wrong.
Dr. Arne Rubinstein writes with the passion you rarely see with some doctors. His attitude toward 'father and son relationships' and 'Rites Of Passage' for young boys becoming men is phenomenal.
I really enjoyed reading the real life stories from father's/ mother's and young men added in intervals during each chapter. I found it made the reading easier.
The only thing I was disappointed by is the author's opinion about depression. He believed it to be 'a sickness of the soul'... but he is wrong.
I know this is your opinion but you should never judge a mental illness that you know nothing about. Instead ask a psychologist or someone who lives with it in day to day life.
Anyhow... this doesn't take away Dr. Rubinstein's achievements or influence on the growing young men in Australia and all over the world today.
Congratulations on your book and keep doing such an amazing job.
May 1, 2024
I can personally attest to much of the writings of this book, as Arne is my Dad! Being raised around this work, and seeing the overwhelmingly positive impact this work has had on the entire community where I was raised, as well as Australia as a whole (and other countries where this work has been taken up), I cannot recommend reading this book highly enough.
Our society needs to look to the past, to avoid making the same mistakes in the future, and with these learnings, I don't believe it will make us all perfect parents, or perfect anything, but I believe that every single person who reads this book has gotten at least one practice that will help make them a better parent, and help them have a better relationship with their kids.
It isn't a long book, but it is a quality read. Even if you aren't a parent, I believe that by reading this book you will become a better person, partner, and member of your community.
Our society needs to look to the past, to avoid making the same mistakes in the future, and with these learnings, I don't believe it will make us all perfect parents, or perfect anything, but I believe that every single person who reads this book has gotten at least one practice that will help make them a better parent, and help them have a better relationship with their kids.
It isn't a long book, but it is a quality read. Even if you aren't a parent, I believe that by reading this book you will become a better person, partner, and member of your community.
April 22, 2023
A fascinating and insightful read into the differences between boys and men, and the importance of supervised Rights Of Passage (ROP) in the transition from boy to man.
Western society has removed most of our Boy to Man ROP, and instead the void has been filled with horrific and shameful initiation rituals thought up by thrill seeking, power hungry boys trapped in man bodies!
We need to wake up to our leaders who are only there for themselves (Trump etc…) and find more leaders who are there for the good of the community (Obama etc….)
Discussed the role of Mentors, as well as both parents.
A read for any parent with a son!
Western society has removed most of our Boy to Man ROP, and instead the void has been filled with horrific and shameful initiation rituals thought up by thrill seeking, power hungry boys trapped in man bodies!
We need to wake up to our leaders who are only there for themselves (Trump etc…) and find more leaders who are there for the good of the community (Obama etc….)
Discussed the role of Mentors, as well as both parents.
A read for any parent with a son!
July 15, 2024
Incredible. Such profound knowledge that hits right at the core of the challenges boys and young men face, what they are missing, and how we can fulfil those needs in a healthy way.
It made me think a lot about the relationship with my father, and how I can heal and grow it. I want to know him and what the deeper challenges he faced in life were.
A must read for anyone with boys, for young men, and those wanting to understand more.
Incredibly life changing and I get my psychology shifting from being focussed on myself to a broader perspective on how I can serve others with my gifts and talents.
It made me think a lot about the relationship with my father, and how I can heal and grow it. I want to know him and what the deeper challenges he faced in life were.
A must read for anyone with boys, for young men, and those wanting to understand more.
Incredibly life changing and I get my psychology shifting from being focussed on myself to a broader perspective on how I can serve others with my gifts and talents.
March 6, 2023
It is quite a difficult review to write as i have mixed feelings about this book. I came across the recommendation for this book while reading Maggie Dent.
I had the feeling throughout the book that it is not written for everybody (not being australian, was hard to relate).
It had good ideas that i will definitely take with me in the journey of raising two boys.
I had the feeling throughout the book that it is not written for everybody (not being australian, was hard to relate).
It had good ideas that i will definitely take with me in the journey of raising two boys.
August 21, 2025
One hell of an important book to read.
The Making of Men outlines what happens in a young man between being a toddler and a teenager, and how important rites of passage ceremonies can be. It does so in an informative and user friendly way.
If every parent read this book I think the world would be a better place.
The Making of Men outlines what happens in a young man between being a toddler and a teenager, and how important rites of passage ceremonies can be. It does so in an informative and user friendly way.
If every parent read this book I think the world would be a better place.
October 18, 2020
A must for every parent
I enjoyed reading this book, and I found it helpful. It doesn't go around the bush, but it helps you evaluate your child and yourself as a parent, and then gives you direct advice on what to do.
I enjoyed reading this book, and I found it helpful. It doesn't go around the bush, but it helps you evaluate your child and yourself as a parent, and then gives you direct advice on what to do.
November 2, 2017
A good read
Well written book with lots of stories from real life. Talks about things that are relevant in this connected world.
I will recommend this book.
Well written book with lots of stories from real life. Talks about things that are relevant in this connected world.
I will recommend this book.
December 30, 2022
A great book that will be so helpful as my sons get older. Helpful now, but will certainly reread once they are older.
March 11, 2025
Some new info about rising boys and how to properly transition from boy to man.
Good read!!
Good read!!
March 1, 2017
A fantastic book. Offers comprehensive insight into to what boys need to become great men. I will definitely read it again.
July 17, 2014
I was very eager to read The Making of Men when I won it in a Goodreads Giveaway.
I have four adult sons. All happy, well adjusted men!
I got about half way through and gave up. I think Rubinstein had some good points but it was all too touchy feely for me. I didn’t like how he kept blaming fathers for everything. I decided if there was one more quote blaming a father for their problems, I was finished. And then there it was again.
I think if you can get through the whole book you will probably get some good ideas from it.
Bringing up boys is tough. They need discipline and boundaries from an early age.
All boys are different and some breeze through adolescence easily. But for others there is a lot more to it. Enough to fill a book actually!!
I have four adult sons. All happy, well adjusted men!
I got about half way through and gave up. I think Rubinstein had some good points but it was all too touchy feely for me. I didn’t like how he kept blaming fathers for everything. I decided if there was one more quote blaming a father for their problems, I was finished. And then there it was again.
I think if you can get through the whole book you will probably get some good ideas from it.
Bringing up boys is tough. They need discipline and boundaries from an early age.
All boys are different and some breeze through adolescence easily. But for others there is a lot more to it. Enough to fill a book actually!!
June 2, 2014
Practical, informative and a must read for parents of any child. This was a great read, and I felt empowered by the end of the book - Rubinstein provides advice and guidance garnered through his experiences with his own sons and his work creating Rites of Passage for our next generations.
It's our responsibility as a community to ensure that each generation is empowered and able to achieve their fullest potential, and this book is a great step forward for those of us who care enough to try.
It's our responsibility as a community to ensure that each generation is empowered and able to achieve their fullest potential, and this book is a great step forward for those of us who care enough to try.
June 11, 2014
I thought this book was a great read and it will be a book I will be keeping as a reference book for the coming years as my son grows up. It has some very useful information about parenting boys. As a parent we dont always know what to do especially if we did not have good parenting role models so books such as these are good to make us think about issues/give us ideas etc.
October 26, 2014
It is so important to help our boys navigate through to manhood. This book provides important insight and suggestions for helping adults help their children. The making of men camp was fantastic for the men in my life. Thank you Arne
January 8, 2014
A clear, honest view of helping young boys on their path to manhood. A must-read for any parent (especially fathers) about the rites of passage that we (men) have been seeking all our lives.
January 9, 2015
I received this book as a Goodreads winner. Recommended for anyone with sons. I will be passing this along to my Godson's mother so hopefully she will get a lot out of it.
February 22, 2015
I was hoping for more specific practical strategies than were offered. It was an easy read, logical and sensible, but not so much practical for me.
September 10, 2018
Whilst quite a simply written book, it provides some good guidance on raising boys.
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews