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Parenting the Wholehearted Child: Captivating Your Child's Heart with God's Extravagant Grace
Are you exhausted from the pressure to be a perfect parent raising perfect children in this imperfect world? Do you ever wonder, 'How did these precious children get stuck with a parent like me?' If so, let these grace-drenched pages saturate your heart with God's unfailing love while also equipping you to be a vessel of God's unconditional love to your children. With authenticity, conviction, and a lively sense of humor, Jeannie guides parents on a transformative journey into raising wholehearted---not perfect---children, who live from the freedom found in being wholeheartedly loved (and liked!) by God. Parenting the Wholehearted Child equips parents with Biblical wisdom and practical ideas to teach children they are fully accepted by God, not because of anything they do or don't do but because of everything Jesus has already done for them. Woven throughout the book is the good news that it is God's extravagant grace, not a parent's perfect performance, that transforms the hearts of children.
224 pages, Paperback
First published April 8, 2014
116 people are currently reading
1437 people want to read
About the author
Jeannie Cunnion
14 books62 followersJeannie Cunnion holds a Master’s degree in Social Work. Her professional background combines counseling, writing, and extensive speaking about parenting and adoption issues for organizations such as Bethany Christian Services and the National Council for Adoption. Jeannie also enjoys blogging on her website (www.jeanniecunnion.com), serving as the Council Co-Chairman at Trinity Church in Greenwich, CT, and leading various parenting courses and Bible studies when she and her husband Mike aren’t cheering on their three boys at one of their sporting events.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews
January 10, 2020
My children are grown. I am reading this for mentoring. My mentee chose it. I am so glad she did. I love it. Cunnion's message is very similar to my message in the book I'm writing, "Do You Really Love Me, Lord?"
Grace-based parenting is not permissive parenting. It is imperfect parents raising imperfect children "from the freedom found in being wholeheartedly and unconditionally loved (and liked!) by God in Jesus Christ."
I wish I had read this book when I was raising my sons! I'll be giving this book at baby showers.
Grace-based parenting is not permissive parenting. It is imperfect parents raising imperfect children "from the freedom found in being wholeheartedly and unconditionally loved (and liked!) by God in Jesus Christ."
I wish I had read this book when I was raising my sons! I'll be giving this book at baby showers.
February 6, 2024
I started this book 9 years ago and got half way through…I decided to try reading it again (starting from the beginning, of course). It was okay, it makes sense why I put it down 9 years ago.
April 16, 2019
I've read a lot of parenting books as our parenting journey has been quite difficult, full of high need kids, little sleep, and medical issues. This has been the most life-giving and refreshingly simple parenting book that I've read. It isn't full of complicated methods or psychology. Rather, it focuses on being human, being real, with your kids. Parenting's main focus shouldn't be about being perfect or creating perfect children but about creating a change of heart in us and our children based on God's love and grace. It's both convicting to read and challenging to create change, but beautiful in it's simplicity.
September 3, 2017
Best biblically based parenting book I've read
I loved this book so much. It's so in line with scripture and with how we want to raise our kids. One of my favorite things about it was that, more than other books I've read like Shepherding a Child's Heart, I felt like she gave so many great ideas for practically applying the biblical principals in parenting younger children.
I also loved the emphasis on grace and not expecting perfection.
Overall I very much recommend this book, especially to anyone with kids in elementary school or younger.
I loved this book so much. It's so in line with scripture and with how we want to raise our kids. One of my favorite things about it was that, more than other books I've read like Shepherding a Child's Heart, I felt like she gave so many great ideas for practically applying the biblical principals in parenting younger children.
I also loved the emphasis on grace and not expecting perfection.
Overall I very much recommend this book, especially to anyone with kids in elementary school or younger.
October 11, 2015
Full of humility, grace and helpful practical advice - really appreciated this book and a plus was that she is the mum of 3 boys, I appreciated that perspective and found some ideas enlightening in terms of disciplining boys. I love how the first part of the book is dedicated to our (the parents) relationship with God. I highlighted quite a bit of this book.
April 9, 2016
I heard the author interviewed on several podcasts (God Centered Mom, FOTF) and I loved what she had to say.
March 10, 2020
For a new Christian family this may be a great read, but for a family who already tries to incorporate a lifestyle of living as Christ, you'll already be doing just about everything already.
November 16, 2016
I read this book on the recommendation of a friend in our small group at our church. I had been lamenting the difficulties of adjusting to life with a newly minted teenager and she pressed this book into my hands. Even though the book is targeted more to parents with young children she assured me it would help. She was right.
As a modern day parent I have read a lot of parenting books and articles, looking for both guidance and validation of my choices as a parent. I can honestly say that no single book or article has influenced me as much as this one has. While I am and will always be a work in progress, I think this book did mark a sea change in the way I act as a parent and how I view my children.
This book is written for Christian parents and it was the Christian perspective that I found most helpful, but that does not mean that central message of the book would not be helpful to those who do not share the faith. That message is that it’s okay to let go of your quest for perfection as a parent. Cunnion writes “I thought my gift to God was trying to be, act, think and parent perfectly” – but as C.S. Lewis put it, “God doesn’t want something from us. He simply wants us.” When Cunnion finally surrendered to God’s Grace her heart found rest in the glorious truth of 2 Corinthians 12:9: “My Grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Reading that verse I felt something in my heart give way and open to Cunnion’s approach and to God’s message. God loves me in my weakness and I need to trust in that for my own sake and as a parent for the sake of my children.
When we let go of that quest for perfection and trust in the boundless love and grace of God everything falls into place. The best way to parent says Cunnion is to open your heart to that grace and to show it to your children. She writes, “knowing that they are fully known and fully loved allows our children to live in the freedom and fullness of God’s unconditional love for them without the burden of perfection, performance or pretending… this is extravagant grace and in experiencing this grace our hearts are captured and transformed.” The book has a lot of concrete ways to demonstrate that grace to our children and to teach them through prayer, scripture and service to the community. Cunnion also has specific chapters on the things that all parents need help with like respect, self-control, kindness, honesty and discipline.
It is because of this book that we have instituted daily devotionals with our kids, we have scripture memorization and it gave me the much needed push to find a regular service opportunity for my older kids. We still have work to do to live fully in this message. But it is a relief to know that I do not need to be all things, and that I cannot in fact be all things. This reminder of God’s love for me and for my children is a balm for a weary parent’s heart and it tells me that I am not the only one looking out for their well-being and their future. There is tremendous comfort in his grace for us all.
As a modern day parent I have read a lot of parenting books and articles, looking for both guidance and validation of my choices as a parent. I can honestly say that no single book or article has influenced me as much as this one has. While I am and will always be a work in progress, I think this book did mark a sea change in the way I act as a parent and how I view my children.
This book is written for Christian parents and it was the Christian perspective that I found most helpful, but that does not mean that central message of the book would not be helpful to those who do not share the faith. That message is that it’s okay to let go of your quest for perfection as a parent. Cunnion writes “I thought my gift to God was trying to be, act, think and parent perfectly” – but as C.S. Lewis put it, “God doesn’t want something from us. He simply wants us.” When Cunnion finally surrendered to God’s Grace her heart found rest in the glorious truth of 2 Corinthians 12:9: “My Grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Reading that verse I felt something in my heart give way and open to Cunnion’s approach and to God’s message. God loves me in my weakness and I need to trust in that for my own sake and as a parent for the sake of my children.
When we let go of that quest for perfection and trust in the boundless love and grace of God everything falls into place. The best way to parent says Cunnion is to open your heart to that grace and to show it to your children. She writes, “knowing that they are fully known and fully loved allows our children to live in the freedom and fullness of God’s unconditional love for them without the burden of perfection, performance or pretending… this is extravagant grace and in experiencing this grace our hearts are captured and transformed.” The book has a lot of concrete ways to demonstrate that grace to our children and to teach them through prayer, scripture and service to the community. Cunnion also has specific chapters on the things that all parents need help with like respect, self-control, kindness, honesty and discipline.
It is because of this book that we have instituted daily devotionals with our kids, we have scripture memorization and it gave me the much needed push to find a regular service opportunity for my older kids. We still have work to do to live fully in this message. But it is a relief to know that I do not need to be all things, and that I cannot in fact be all things. This reminder of God’s love for me and for my children is a balm for a weary parent’s heart and it tells me that I am not the only one looking out for their well-being and their future. There is tremendous comfort in his grace for us all.
August 14, 2019
I have been a believer in grace based parenting and Wholehearted parenting from the beginning, but believing in something and knowing how to implement something day in and day out are two different things.
This book is the perfect book to read for those who want to know HOW to actually parent with grace and the wholehearted child in mind. There are so many practical tips in this book. I have already put some of her ideas into practice and have seem results in the way I feel about my parenting and in how my children react differently when I take time to slow down and explain, teach and train.
Read this book. I really don't think you will be disappointed.
*she does mentioned several times the book "Shepherding A Child's Heart" which is very pro-spanking (borderline abusive in my opinion), but I don't get the feeling she agrees with spanking her kids, it is not one time mentioned.
This book is the perfect book to read for those who want to know HOW to actually parent with grace and the wholehearted child in mind. There are so many practical tips in this book. I have already put some of her ideas into practice and have seem results in the way I feel about my parenting and in how my children react differently when I take time to slow down and explain, teach and train.
Read this book. I really don't think you will be disappointed.
*she does mentioned several times the book "Shepherding A Child's Heart" which is very pro-spanking (borderline abusive in my opinion), but I don't get the feeling she agrees with spanking her kids, it is not one time mentioned.
March 2, 2017
I'd most recommend this to a newish mom who's looking for a comprehensive framework for gospel-centered parenting. All the time I meet moms who didn't grow up in a Christian home and wonder what it looks like to parent with grace, and I think they would find this book to be a helpful starting place. While it didn't exactly hit me right where I am in my parenting journey, I appreciated the reminders of what's important and gained some phrases to use in a few parenting scenarios I encounter regularly.
January 14, 2018
Wonderful approach to parenting though the advice seems overwhelming to implement. I'm beginning to recognize how much deeper I need (and desire) to know the Lord (so that His love may flow out of me and into my parenting.) I'll admit that it isn't my first instinct to involve God in my discipline process (discussing forgiveness, sin, peacemaking) but I'm thankful for the conviction of the Holy Spirit as I process(ed) Cunnion's words and move forward.
July 25, 2019
I got halfway through and decided to put it down. Nothing in here is bad in any way. I believe the author comes from a Reformed theological position and it seems that (obviously) colors her perspective on parenting. There are a number of valuable tips here - for me it was too much to collectively remember together as there are so many themes throughout the book and individual strategies for each section.
July 29, 2019
An incredible book on how to parent our children through God’s Grace. I’ve read many parenting books and this resonated with me more than any other I’ve read since having children. This was one I purchased (and I rarely buy a book) and highlighted throughout as I plan to go back to examples they shared, also having my husband read!
November 7, 2019
I really enjoyed the ideas brought into this book. Now if only I could apply everything to my parenthood and remember all her points. I will definitely be referencing back to this as bad habits are hard to break. I highly recommend this book for those who want to raise their children to see God and learn to be respectful and responsible.
July 19, 2018
Loved it!!!
I loved that their is so many scriptures throughout the whole book! With examples of practical ways to apply it!! So good!! I took so many notes throughout the whole thing! 😁
I loved that their is so many scriptures throughout the whole book! With examples of practical ways to apply it!! So good!! I took so many notes throughout the whole thing! 😁
November 26, 2023
I loved the first half of this book, but when the author moved to more practical advice much of it fell flat. There were very family specific parenting choices that seemed to be deemed as the only way to do things. I found parts helpful, but much I did not.
October 7, 2025
A must read for Christian parents. This book is full of scripture, practical life advice, and the reminder to give yourself and your children grace. In a culture of perfect parenting influencers who seem to have it all together, this book was a breath of fresh air.
October 15, 2025
One of the best parenting books I’ve ever read. Very well-balanced and biblically based. I was both encouraged and challenged. Her approach to both discipline and praise was very exceptional, and her suggestions were spot-on and practical.
July 29, 2018
Fantastic!
Loved the openness and that we are all imperfect, but have the ability to always bring ourselves and our children to God.
Loved the openness and that we are all imperfect, but have the ability to always bring ourselves and our children to God.
Did not finish
December 18, 2019Good premise but I’ve struggled to get into the book. I own this on Kindle and may return.
May 22, 2020
A nicely done book with Christian elements woven in. But I struggled with the flowery Christian language. Lol
April 24, 2025
Could be used as a resource book. Quick easy read but so much to reflect on and implement.
June 7, 2025
Great tips from a Christian perspective.
April 23, 2014
I'm always a little skeptical when I read books concerning God's grace. I feel that most of the world is highly confused about just what the word "grace" really means, feeling the freedom to purposely live in sin. That said, I grew up not knowing what it was, in the opposite direction. I feared every time I sinned(talked back, complained, fought with my siblings, etc), I was going to hell if I didn't act perfect. Honestly, though I've came a long way, I still struggle greatly in the area of grace. I sin! I'm an imperfect, selfish human being. I get frustrated with my children too often, and use my "big voice", and I want to hide from God in shame. I don't give my husband the respect that he deserves, and is commanded of me. I struggle knowing God loves me no matter what, and I struggle expecting perfection from my children and husband, though it isn't a goal that can be reached, from them or me. I needed a nice, balanced book concerning grace, and I need to push that aspect into my parenting more often! I felt this book fit the bill pretty nicely.
Just to note: The author and I have some theological differences, so I didn't agree with everything within this book.
There were many times I connected with the author all too well. She has 3 boys, older than mine now, and I gleaned many lessons from her. There were parenting tips within this book I'm looking forward to trying. I've felt like a failure as a parent, especially lately, and especially when it comes to worship services. (She covers worship services!) It seems lately, I do more scolding and shushing in services than true worship. I've been more worried about my children not disrupting someone else, than allowing them the joy of true worship. I'm ready for change, and I'm ready for "grace" to fill our home, and this book was great encouragement in that area.
Overall, despite some disagreements, this is a book that I will return to for encouragement and advice. I definitely recommend it if you need a little "grace boost" in your home, like me!
*Thanks to Zondervan for providing me with a review copy, in exchange for my honest opinion.
Just to note: The author and I have some theological differences, so I didn't agree with everything within this book.
There were many times I connected with the author all too well. She has 3 boys, older than mine now, and I gleaned many lessons from her. There were parenting tips within this book I'm looking forward to trying. I've felt like a failure as a parent, especially lately, and especially when it comes to worship services. (She covers worship services!) It seems lately, I do more scolding and shushing in services than true worship. I've been more worried about my children not disrupting someone else, than allowing them the joy of true worship. I'm ready for change, and I'm ready for "grace" to fill our home, and this book was great encouragement in that area.
Overall, despite some disagreements, this is a book that I will return to for encouragement and advice. I definitely recommend it if you need a little "grace boost" in your home, like me!
*Thanks to Zondervan for providing me with a review copy, in exchange for my honest opinion.
March 28, 2016
This is the best parenting book I've read to date! Part of that is because it doesn't just focus on the child's behaviour, but the parent's heart and the family environment. The first bit of the book looks at the concept of grace and identity in Christ and how we, as a parent, live that out. Then the book shifts and looks at building certain character traits into your children, focusing on their hearts where the behaviour stems from. The book had so many practical ideas and really encouraged and challenged me as a parent. I'm planning on purchasing this and reading it again very soon!
February 26, 2015
Over all, I liked this book. The author's words challenged me and gave me some language to articulate some things I've been wrestling through.
That said, I'm not sure I will recommend the book often--perhaps I would with a few disclaimers? The author is very much in the exact same spot I am with parenting (she has three boys quite close to the ages of my boys). I think I would have appreciated the book coming from the angle of someone who had hindsight.
That said, I'm not sure I will recommend the book often--perhaps I would with a few disclaimers? The author is very much in the exact same spot I am with parenting (she has three boys quite close to the ages of my boys). I think I would have appreciated the book coming from the angle of someone who had hindsight.
February 6, 2017
I waffled between a 4 and a 5. This book aligned with another book I read at the same time, talking about God's grace so that was a cool God thing I needed to hear. She had lots of good ideas and examples. Some times it seemed a little overwhelming but she didn't act like she had it all together so that was nice. Overall lots of inspiring ways to teach our kids how to live they way God wants us to.
January 26, 2016
Great book with a lot of solid information. My favorites were all the related bible verses (yet not taking them out of context) and all the other authors and books she referenced. I definitely highlighted more in this book than I typically do. It's not the best parenting book out there, but lots of quality stuff.
March 26, 2022
I wished I would have read this years ago. I am a mom of two teens and one elementary aged child. Although this is more for parents of younger children I feel some of what I took from it will even help with my teen girls. If you are a parent thinking about reading this my advice is don’t wait read it now. :)
November 11, 2014
This book did as much for me personally as it did for my parenting. It took my understanding of grace to a new level. I now embraced my 3 children in those discipline moments a litter closer to how Jesus treats me. Love this book.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews