Understand Yourself, Understand Your Partner: The Essential Enneagram Guide to a Better Relationship

by Jennifer P. Schneider, Ron Corn

According to an increasingly popular personality system called the Enneagram, there are nine basic types of people in the world. Each Type sees the world through a different lens, and has different goals, fears, challenges, priorities, and motivations. Once you know the Type of each member of a couple, you have a very good idea of what are likely to be the strengths and challenges of that pairing, and what issues are most likely to come up again and again for them. This book describes each of the 9 Types and how they are expressed within a relationship. This is followed by a separate chapter for each of the 45 possible pairings of these 9 personality types. They help the couple understand where they might get stuck and how they can better work out their differences. The books is based on reports by actual couples of each combination of types, and each chapter has quotations from the couple describing what a relationship of that combination of types is like. Each chapter ends with a few questions for the couple of that particular combination to discuss. This book can be considered a reference book. Although it is very long (555 pages), the average reader can be expected to read through the description of the 9 types, figure out their type and that of their mate, and then turn to the chapter that describes their specific combination. You don’t have to know anything about the Enneagram system before starting the book! The descriptions are very accessible, and will be useful for all readers.

Genres: Nonfiction

574 pages, Paperback

First published July 18, 2013

Reviews

[JM · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great practical guide for examining relationship strengths and challenges through the enneagram framework. I appreciate that there are questions and action items to work through individually and with your partner. I borrowed this during my Kindle Unlimited trial, but will probably purchase my own copy - I think these insights will continue to serve our partnership in the years to come. (I should note that the majority of the book is applicable to relationships of all kinds, not just romantic partnerships.)

[Jessie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is definitely for those who are already familiar with the Ennegram theory of personality. It has a lot of examples and repeats that I don't think are necessary. Usually I like hearing stories of other people with my similar personality but many of these just didn't seem to fit as closely. My son and I read about our relationship and it was pretty spot on to our many problems. I took some notes that match for my husband and I. But the book doesn't feel concise, I'd have liked things to be much more simplified and listed out.