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Real Happy Family

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When full-time Hollywood party girl Lorelei auditions for television's hottest reality show, she finds her life self-destructing after her drug-addled mother wages a racially-slanted war against the stunning, young, African-American woman who won the role. 10,000 first printing.

361 pages, Hardcover

First published March 1, 2014

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1287 people want to read

About the author

Caeli Wolfson Widger

5 books13 followers

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5 stars
192 (8%)
4 stars
537 (24%)
3 stars
911 (41%)
2 stars
397 (18%)
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137 (6%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 174 reviews
Profile Image for Robert.
Author 11 books437 followers
May 18, 2014
Danger Will Robinson. I’m about to get nostalgic on your asses, and I really hope you’ll indulge me for just a minute. If you’re looking for my review, it’ll begin in the next paragraph. But I honestly can’t think of another way to do this. What I’d like to do is take this opportunity to say thank you. I started on Goodreads to improve my social media footprint and get my name out there via another avenue, and maybe discover another book or two, but it’s become so much more than that. It’s become a community. A family. My wife has said, “You’re pretty lucky.” But I’d go above and beyond that, and say that I’m damn lucky.

If you’re looking for that other type of family—you know the ones that snort drugs and bomb out on reality television and drift away from their respective husbands and wives and might not behave like true parents and veer off script more often than they stay on it and just happen to come in all various shapes and sizes—then REAL HAPPY FAMILY is for you. This novel takes Speidi and Bennifer to the brink of extinction with the proverbial train wreck waiting on every corner and maybe twice on Reality Avenue.

Sure, it’d be easy to call this novel a disaster, and then hang my head in shame, as I run for the nearest restroom to get a little bump to go along with my steak tartare and Pinot Grigio. But I was proud to discover this find, even if it reminded me of the rubberneckers on 95 or the 405. With characters that proved somewhat simple in nature and constantly choosing the wrong door, I was happy that I only temporarily occupied the stark raving universe otherwise inhabited by Colleen, Darren, Carl, Lorelei, and Robin and a handful of other misfits and oddballs and eccentrics and cranks.

The story followed a non-linear construct, so if straight lines and moving in order from A to B to C are your modus operandi, you might find yourself scratching your head a time or two. But the pace moved along at a reasonable clip, and I found myself a little sad to reach the end, even if it took me a few pages to find myself fully immersed in this tale.

I received this book for free through NetGalley.

Cross-posted at Robert's Reads
Profile Image for Molly Ison.
179 reviews14 followers
February 9, 2014
It was both awful and fun. Like some of the other early reviewers, I got it from Kindle First, mainly because it looked like the most interesting of the selections (as I'm not generally interested either in Thrillers or YA).

The initial good thing about it was the readability. The prose slips by quickly, the story moves along, and I've come to value books that pull you along regardless of their other qualities.

The awful is that almost every character feels like a complete list of stereotypes and cliches. A poor woman living in a trailer - is she obese, does she watch soap operas, does she only eat starchy fatty junk food, does she have a semi-neglected kid? Oh yes, yes, yes and yes. As the story progressed, I still felt this to be true, but was less certain, as I don't actually know anyone who's even close to being in the situation of the main plot.

The other positive, that wasn't clear until later, was that the unreliable narrator device was used to good effect in a number of ways over a number of characters.

This would have gotten three stars from me if the ending hadn't been so pat. I admire it for not turning into a morality tale, but it's a fairly messy book with a ridiculously clean ending, or at least one where any of the consequences of the story, whether painful or getting off scot free don't seem to have any real weight on the characters, which really rings false.

I say with not a trace of irony, if you like reality TV even as a secret guilty pleasure (maybe especially as a secret guilty pleasure), you'll probably like this book.
1 review
February 3, 2014
Pleasant Surprise

When I first chose this book from the Kindle monthly free choices, I did so only because it seemed more interesting than the other three choices. I wasn't expecting a great read, especially considering the category was "Women's Fiction," I was expecting a cheesy, Oprah bookclub-esque sentimental bore. (No offense to anyone's preferences, my favorite author is Stephen King, so-called "women's fiction" has never been my cup of tea). It was a free read, so I figured what the heck, I can check it out. I am glad I did.

The characters are human and while we may not agree with their choices, we can understand their motivations. The world is clearly drawn and accessible. I found it amazing that this was a first novel. Thanks for a pleasant surprise, Amazon Prime!
Profile Image for Hyouten.
29 reviews1 follower
May 1, 2014
Real Happy Family marks my second venture into fiction trying to capitalize on the reality TV idea (the first one being the movie “EdTV”). I find the idea interesting and quite a twist to the otherwise insipid reality TV. EdTV wasn’t a hit for me, but I didn’t let that stop me from reading this book…

Unfortunately, this book also wasn’t a hit for me, making it two failed tries in my attempt to find a good reality-TV-driven concept. The synopsis sounded interesting: a behind-the-scenes look involving a family who more or less have their feet in the door in terms of the entertainment industry. There are three main stories at play here: Lorelei’s story as the daughter who almost made it but became the laughingstock instead because of her mother, Colleen’s story as the mother who dotes on Lorelei a little too much and ends up being an embarrassment instead, and Robin’s story as the wife/sister-in-law/daughter-in-law who owns a talent agency, is technically Lorelei’s agent and sister-in-law, and is plagued with conception problems. It really sounds as if their stories should be connected together, but to me it felt like Robin’s story was the odd one out. Colleen and Lorelei’s stories work side by side because of their relationship, but Robin’s conundrums aren’t really worth the hassle other than the fact that she’s Lorelei’s sister-in-law and agent.

The beginning of the book was also rather discombobulating; it jumped from one time period to another (quite unnecessarily, in my opinion) and it took a long while to establish our main characters. As the chapters jumped from one character focus to another, it wasn’t long before the whole task of keeping up with people became tedious.

The ending was simply ho-hum to me, not really something that I was expecting. Then again, I wasn’t really expecting anything, considering how I got no impression of a common goal to be resolved among the characters. Just like reality TV, the whole thing droned on, spewed useless drama, and killed any attempt of establishing interest.
Profile Image for J.J. Keith.
Author 2 books14 followers
February 25, 2014
Once I started reading, I could not put this book down! I read it in a day, only begrudgingly putting it down to make dinner. The characters are well-developed and immaculately interwoven. I wish I were teaching a California Literature class so I could assign it. The commentary about the friction between Los Angeles and outlying communities is spot on and Widger nails the strange allure of fame and its ultimate hollowness. It's a remarkable debut novel and I can't wait to get my paws on her next book.
Profile Image for Amy.
Author 1 book3 followers
February 2, 2015
So, so, so cliched and predictable.
Profile Image for Kate.
Author 8 books32 followers
February 23, 2014
As I was reading this book, two things came to mind...the first was Tolstoy's famous quote from Anna Karenina: “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” The second was how much it reminded me very much of the movie Requiem for a Dream, in its entirety. Very interesting, because the author later references both the quote and the movie. I wonder which came first...the chicken or the egg?

Anyway! I truly enjoyed this book, even though it was like watching a slow-motion trainwreck throughout the entire thing (aside from the end). Bad things keep happening. Then things get worse. And worse. Nothing gets better. You can see the terrible things coming down the road as the characters make bad decision after bad decision. You want to look away, but you can't.

Why can't you? (After all, the paragraph above is hardly a ringing endorsement for any book!) Honestly, the writing is excellent, it pulled me along, even if sometimes I wanted to peek through my fingers and scream "Nooooooooo!" while reading. The characters are so richly described, I actually could picture them in my mind, something I rarely do while reading. Colleen, for example...while she was busy being a hot mess, I kept picturing her as Fairuza Balk's hot mess mother from The Craft.

The only reason I didn't give this book five stars was because of the ending...after the non-stop ratcheting-up of our nerves, I personally felt the book ended with a fizzle rather than a climax and then satisfying resolution. The

I absolutely would recommend this book, just be ready to yell at the characters, repeatedly. I know I sure did!
Profile Image for DJ Sakata.
3,312 reviews1,780 followers
April 23, 2014
My Rating:

4 ½ Real Hearts

Favorite Quotes:

“Her father was often absent from their single-wide trailer, with its shoddy A/C and faux wood paneling, while her mother was overly present on the couch, like some sort of land-dwelling whale.”

“The dress’s Asian style couldn’t be less suited to Colleen’s chemically blond hair and too-tan skin, and its whimsical, curlicue patterns, contrasted harshly with the severity of Colleen’s form: the sinewy arms and blade-thin torso. She was a human pair of scissors. That she had actually been pregnant once, nourished and birthed another human life, was hard to believe.”

My Review:

I love irony, and this title is totally ironic. There is only one honest word used in the title. These people aren’t real with or to each other, and they are not at all happy. They are a train wreck. And similar to the disturbingly morbid habit of rubbernecking that we all seem to be guilty of at the scene of an accident - I could not tear myself away from this hot-mess of a family. Every generation, and their extended family members, are offered up to us with their secrets slightly exposed, bit by bit. It was like reading your own true history on those little strips of paper inside a fortune cookie. They are flawed, tired, resigned, yearning, cloying, shallow, vapid, rigid, selfish, and uneducated - though fiendishly clever. And all slowly spiraling out of control and headed for disaster. However, I easily understand them and can see why things happened the way they did. I can make sense of their rationalized behavior choices, and even sympathize with their bone-headed decisions, idiotic displays, and immature antics. I was uncomfortable for them during their embarrassing scenes, and cringed for them when the perfect storm finally crested. Without hitting you over the head with it, Ms. Widger’s writing is acutely insightful. I want to know what happens to these people even though I don’t really like them and have nothing in common with them. The writing is absolutely stellar. I was shocked to discover this work to be Ms. Widger’s first novel. I certainly hope there will be more, although I don’t want her turning her keen observational skills in MY direction for inspiration.
Profile Image for Jessica Kayuha.
108 reviews4 followers
February 7, 2014
I received this book through the Kindle First program with Amazon Prime

This book was truly an unexpected pleasure. "Women's Literature" is usually not my first choice, but the editor's review had me intrigued. Very well written for a first book. Each character is well drawn out and I always felt empathetic towards them while at the same time thinking how pathetic their lives were.

During the final third of the book, as each character was being steered back towards Lorelei, I felt myself being sucked into the world, the pacing being spot on to ratchet the tension up perfectly.

These characters are ugly pretty; they are Hollywood pretty, and it pains me to know that all of what happens in this book is so very possible, and in fact probably happening right now. And I know I am part of the problem every time I watch "TruTV" or any of the umpteen "reality" shows out there now. And as long as "Honey Boo Boo" or "Full Throttle Saloon" keep getting ratings, there will be people willing to have their fatness-sickness-whateverness exploited, so that they too can have their 15 minutes. And for all of the "successes", there are probably exponentially more Loreleis and Colleens out there. This book does a wonderful job of portraying that, and I look forward to this author's next work.
Profile Image for Andrea Guy.
1,483 reviews67 followers
March 21, 2014
Usually when I read stories about Hollywood I go for the Jackie Collins, sexy, glamorous stuff. Real Happy Family is far from that.

Everyone in this book is messed up. Ok, not messed up, f-d up, some in bigger ways than others. I think that's why, at first, I thought I wasn't going to like the book so much, but as I went on, I found the pages flying, one after another, until I was finished.

You get this story from 3 sides, Lorelei, who is on the run from her stage mom mother, Colleen, that crazy mom, and her agent and aunt, Robin.

Of all the characters, Robin is the most normal and most likable. Colleen is probably the least likable, yet you can't help but feel sorry for her. The only one you really don't feel sorry for is Lorelei. She's a brat. Granted she was raised to be a brat, but she's a brat nonetheless. I have to admit I was rooting for them all to step away from the Hollywood lifestyle and become more "normal." Not to worry though, that couldn't happen.

I liked how the author wove together the three stories. And the ending, well, I have to say, it wasn't quite what I expected, because not all the pieces were really picked up.

This was a fast paced, fun read, that you will really love, especially or maybe in-spite of it involving reality tv.
Profile Image for Emi Yoshida.
1,684 reviews100 followers
July 7, 2014
Colleen was 17 when widower Carl rescued her from a life of trailer trashdom. But despite Carl's middle class values, down to earth goodness, and even the responsibility of raising his young son Darren, with the birth of their daughter Lorelei, Colleen devolves into an aggregate of every tabloid mom from hell: the New Jersey Tanning Bed Mom meets Dinah Lohan meets Teen Mom meets Botox Mom, etc.

Colleen just wants to be her teenaged daughter Lorelei's best friend - to party with her, share clothing and secrets (i.e., a boob job for Lorelei and massive credit card debt for Colleen), and to never teach anything about respect or responsibility or common sense. Partying leads to hard-core drug use, self-prostitution, running away from Fresno to Reno via Hollywood and Santa Monica, from the precipice of reality TV stardom to the depths of the D-list. And then from rock bottom, to a happy ending! Where cheating spouses find happiness without ever owning up for their unconscionable actions, the decent people turn around and start accepting the behavior of the miscreants, and Colleen and her daughter live happily ever after, as freaking roommates. (!)
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Jordan.
631 reviews3 followers
March 6, 2014
This book was more of a drag than it was enjoyable. The writing was fine, and the characters were developed enough. However, I think the subject matter just wasn't interesting enough to appeal to me.
The Branch family lives in California where some of them long to be one of the famous Hollywood stars. Lorelei is a teenager who dreams of acting. Her mother is so encouraging, that some may believe her to be neglectful to her daughter (helping her get a boob job, hiding her drinking from Lorelei's father, etc.). After a disaster on a hit reality show, things begin to sour for the Branch family. Lorelei goes on a drug binge, leaves home and stops all contact with her family. Meanwhile, her brother and parents' marriages begin to crumble. This Real Happy Family may have more problems than they appear to have on the outside.
Some readers may enjoy this book, but it wasn't one of my favorites.
Profile Image for Rick.
Author 118 books1,047 followers
March 7, 2014
This book is a hard one to review because, ultimately, I ended up liking it very much. The author has a strong grasp of characterization and family dynamics and those are the things that made this book work. She realizes that human beings are complicated and complex, so the characters peopling this book are, for the most part, broken in some way, yet they all want to better themselves. And really, in the end, that's a pretty universal truth for all of us. The reason for my qualified love of this debut novel lies in its beginning. The first 40% or so of the book was really scatter-shot and slow-moving. IMO some of the opening chapters could have been cut. The book seemed to stumble for quite some time before finding its focus. That doesn't detract me from praising it, but I think a sharper focus and streamlined plot arc would have taken this good effort to great novel.
870 reviews29 followers
February 11, 2014
This review can also be found at http://chiquitablogger.wordpress.com

I'm sorry but I just could not get into this book. It's like they took every dysfunction a family could possibly have, and shoved it into one book.

I'll admit I didn't get very far. All I learned is that the story's about Lorelei and her family. Her moms a typical stage mom, and the rest of her family is just weird. I mean, Lorelei is 22, and her mom still goes to auditions with her. Something bad happens, and Lorelei ends up in Reno with a guy I'm not sure is her boyfriend or friend. I quit after that. I was bored, and very weirded out.

DNF.

*Received an ARC for honest review.*
Profile Image for Julia Fierro.
Author 5 books371 followers
September 4, 2013
A sharp and smartly comical novel about a sympathetically "dysfunctional" family in Los Angeles, Real Happy Family, had me hooked from start to finish both times I read it.
The author is a friend and former Sackett Street student, and I was fortunate to read an advanced copy.

Family strife + designer drugs + dashed dreams + reality TV + complex characters, sharp wit and sparkling prose made this a fun and engaging read.
Profile Image for Jeannie Lemley.
38 reviews3 followers
February 20, 2014
Very good read!

Very good read!

Different from any book I've read lately & I highly recommend 'Real Happy Family'!
Every chapter switches to a different family member, telling their story. But it was easy to follow along & very interesting!
I'm normally a slow reader, but I couldn't put this one down!
The authors first novel and I definitely will read her next one!!!
Profile Image for Polly .
25 reviews
February 17, 2014
FAntastic read

FAntastic read

I chose this book out of the Kindle First selections for February 2014. Real Happy Family is a well written story of a family in crisis. the characters are well thought out and their behaviors make you care about them and shake your head at them all at the same time. great storyline excellent read!!
Profile Image for Kayla.
957 reviews35 followers
February 13, 2015
Well, I wasn't thrilled with this book but I was disappointed either. I got confused how the people were introduced so I stayed confused on who was who, sister to who, married to who, etc. Once I got halfway, the book flew. I enjoy realistic fiction so this book was related to an extent but some of the events, I wasn't so sure about. All in all, it was an OK book.
Profile Image for Stephanie.
327 reviews26 followers
April 16, 2023
Almost a DNF but felt like I spent too much time to walk away. I should have.
Self absorbed people thinking they can become famous from reality TV in California. I thought it would be fun and light, but it was a dumpster fire with too many characters to hate.
Drug & alcohol abuse, drug OD, attempted rape, cheating .... Yet still boring AF.
Profile Image for Sara Snow.
92 reviews23 followers
March 10, 2014
I ordered this as a free read available to Amazon Prime Kindle readers. So I wasn't initially expecting much. But I loved it. Deliciously written, poking fun at everything Hollywood and reality TV. Yet it was relatable, funny, sad, and heartwarming.
Profile Image for Frank.
3 reviews
March 26, 2014
Yuck!

A parody of Southern California written with too heavy a hand. No believable characters and the most predictable plot imaginable. Dialog only a romance reader could love. A waste of 10 hours of my ever shortening life. Other than that, not bad.
Profile Image for Shirlyn.
658 reviews
May 1, 2014
A book I never should have wasted my time with. Can you give a book a zero?
Profile Image for Vanessa.
241 reviews5 followers
April 5, 2014
This book reads like someone took a Jacqueline Susann novel, modernized it for a Bravo adaptation, and then novelized the Bravo show.
Profile Image for deejah.
131 reviews8 followers
May 5, 2014
Strong debut.
Profile Image for Elora Ramirez.
Author 11 books110 followers
January 16, 2015
Fifth book of 2015 and the best one so far. Kept flinching during the first 3/4 of the story because I was just SURE something horrible would happen. Definitely a good read.
Profile Image for Anne.
51 reviews4 followers
July 5, 2023
If you’re looking for a mindless tone-deaf read featuring lots of meth and drugs, prostitution, oral sex, brainless characters, plastic surgery, and conniving to get on reality tv, look no further. Much of it is set in sleazy motels and casinos in Reno.

Watch the Bling Ring instead. Tells a similar story in a much more coherent manner.

Lots of drugs, lots of reality tv stuff. While some of the drug stuff is accurate, some is wildly misleading. Maybe she got tired of writing. But I can state as a professional who worked with addicts for 30 years, no addict ever said “I feel like the luckiest person alive “ at an intervention.

Who is making women’s books into this low grade form of fiction? Is there really a need to serve trash to us? Women have been writing some of the best novels for centuries.

Why have we been degraded to this?
Profile Image for Megan.
2,787 reviews13 followers
December 9, 2022
This is a high 3 stars, a pretty good book with a couple problems. The first is that the end is too easy. We have compelling, complex problems set up that wind down and resolve to simply with not enough effort or detail. The other problem is that the jacker summary covered almost the whole plot with too many details. I would have liked this more if the marketing department hadn’t revealed most of the important points already.
Profile Image for Devon Forest.
169 reviews1 follower
June 5, 2018
This book jumped around too much for me- both in time and in narrators. Jumping from character to character made it hard to get into a groove while reading and at times it was hard to care about all the different storylines that had vague impacts on the main story. But I wasn’t expecting too much from this so it was a easy and fairly quick read.
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