What do you think?
Rate this book
The Case Against Marriage: What You're Really Getting. What You've Got To Lose.
Not just a critique of marriage but one of the best books EVER on romantic relationships and how they really work. What do people want from love? How do they think marriage will help them, and what does it really give them?
Marriage is all about love, right? Actually, it’s more about money. Behind the romantic language, marriage is primarily a financial agreement merging the assets and liabilities of two individuals into a single corporate entity. After your wedding, the money you earn and debts you incur are no longer legally yours; they belong to the marital “community”—a common pot that both of you contribute to and draw from. It’s a lot like Communism: an idealistic sharing of resources and risks supposedly for the common good.
What could go wrong with this plan? Pretty much the same things that brought down political Communism in the late 20th Century: It slows growth, suppresses initiative, dilutes responsibility and mires decisions in bureaucracy. Healthy relationships need clear boundaries, and marriage erases too many of them at once.
Marriage was designed for medieval times. Back then, life was hard and short; most marriages were arranged, and a woman was essentially the property of her husband. Marriage was a sort of licensing system for sex and childbirth. Once the relationship was officially approved and the religious ceremony concluded, the couple's overriding goal was to produce as many children as possible, knowing that many would die.
Times have changed. Birth control, longer lifespans, sexual freedom and women’s rights have rewritten the rules of matrimony. Under the laws of most Western countries, marriage is no longer a sex license or child-rearing contract, only a contract to merge your financial resources. “It’s only money,” couples may say, but Glenn Campbell argues that love and money are separate issues that should be kept that way.
In modern Western society, unmarried people can legally have sex, live together, raise children, buy property together and do nearly everything else associated with a committed relationship, so why do they need to marry at all? What are you really getting when you walk down the aisle? Is marriage merely a public announcement to make your relationship “official,” or does it fundamentally change the relationship?
With simple, powerful and accessible arguments, The Case Against Marriage explains why, if you truly love someone, marriage may not be the wisest way to show it.
Marriage is all about love, right? Actually, it’s more about money. Behind the romantic language, marriage is primarily a financial agreement merging the assets and liabilities of two individuals into a single corporate entity. After your wedding, the money you earn and debts you incur are no longer legally yours; they belong to the marital “community”—a common pot that both of you contribute to and draw from. It’s a lot like Communism: an idealistic sharing of resources and risks supposedly for the common good.
What could go wrong with this plan? Pretty much the same things that brought down political Communism in the late 20th Century: It slows growth, suppresses initiative, dilutes responsibility and mires decisions in bureaucracy. Healthy relationships need clear boundaries, and marriage erases too many of them at once.
Marriage was designed for medieval times. Back then, life was hard and short; most marriages were arranged, and a woman was essentially the property of her husband. Marriage was a sort of licensing system for sex and childbirth. Once the relationship was officially approved and the religious ceremony concluded, the couple's overriding goal was to produce as many children as possible, knowing that many would die.
Times have changed. Birth control, longer lifespans, sexual freedom and women’s rights have rewritten the rules of matrimony. Under the laws of most Western countries, marriage is no longer a sex license or child-rearing contract, only a contract to merge your financial resources. “It’s only money,” couples may say, but Glenn Campbell argues that love and money are separate issues that should be kept that way.
In modern Western society, unmarried people can legally have sex, live together, raise children, buy property together and do nearly everything else associated with a committed relationship, so why do they need to marry at all? What are you really getting when you walk down the aisle? Is marriage merely a public announcement to make your relationship “official,” or does it fundamentally change the relationship?
With simple, powerful and accessible arguments, The Case Against Marriage explains why, if you truly love someone, marriage may not be the wisest way to show it.
- GenresNonfictionPhilosophy
169 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 7, 2013
11 people are currently reading
60 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
April 17, 2014
First of all I've never been married so you can say I don't know what I'm talking about, but here is what I think about the book. Overall I found the good to be a good read, certainly controversial and will inspire interesting conversations among friends. I agree with a lot of points and descriptions in it but I still found it a little too biased, like marriage is EVIL and has no other possible outcome than EVIL.
As I said I agree that if you are going to marry it can't be for for reasons like finding someone to take care of you (like a new mom or dad) or someone to make you happy or someone to make happy, but I think there are couples that have made it work, the curious thing is that usually those couple make it work with or without signing the marriage papers so why get married at all I guess is the big question in the book. Of course is one of those things that you can only judge by yourself.
As I said I agree that if you are going to marry it can't be for for reasons like finding someone to take care of you (like a new mom or dad) or someone to make you happy or someone to make happy, but I think there are couples that have made it work, the curious thing is that usually those couple make it work with or without signing the marriage papers so why get married at all I guess is the big question in the book. Of course is one of those things that you can only judge by yourself.
August 7, 2019
I wish I'd read it before getting married! :D Too late Maryam too late
July 16, 2013
What a fascinating, unique and well argued book! Campbell provides some really appealing arguments AGAINST getting married. While in some ways he does tend to say the same thing in many different ways, I'm so glad I read this book (and added it to Goodreads!) If you're considering getting married (like I am ... or was), READ THIS BOOK. If you want to make an intelligent decision and look at a variety of perspectives, this book is gold.
Just read it. OK.
Just read it. OK.
November 18, 2022
He isn't wrong. Better to wake up every day choosing to be with someone than entering into a legally binding financial agreement. And if the other party decides to become crazy (irrational, jealous, combative) the law is not on your side, which becomes that much more painfully apparent when kids are involved. Surprised there aren't more warnings like this out there in writing, but then again when you're in love who listens to reason?
June 12, 2023
ikili ilişkilerin çıkmazlarına dair güzel bir tanımlama kitabı olmuş
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews