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Mentoring Millennials: Shaping the Next Generation
Learn how to mentor the Millennials in your life―those young people born after 1980. Through inspiring anecdotes, real-life examples, and solid advice, this book will show you how to share your life story and disciple the next generation.
168 pages, Paperback
First published September 3, 2003
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
May 12, 2019
I'd place this book somewhere between a 3 and a 4. The first half of the book was a 3. It took me 2 or maybe 3 reading attempts to pick it up and actually get through it. The second half of the book was much better, a 4, and I'm glad I persisted to that part. I would agree with the other reviewer who said to just skip to the second half of the book, but there were a couple of noteworthy topics in the first.
The first half of the book, with all the statistics and trends, was dated, so much so that I had a hard time reading it, knowing things had changed so much. Depending on how demographers divide up the various generations, either our older two kids are Millennials, with the youngest being Gen-Z, or they are all 3 Gen-Z. The way this book carved up the dates, all 3 kids would be Gen-Z. Dr. Egeler called the most defining memory of Millennials 9/11, but only our oldest remembers 9/11, and that is somewhat phenomenal due to such a young age. Various people in my family, including myself, do have extremely young-age memories, and I think it was the fear of seeing the towers fall that influenced and firmed the memory for our oldest. I didn't even realize that the child was paying attention to the TV in the room, but later on, the child didn't want us to drive past any radio towers, for fear they would fall on us. And surprisingly, remembers with more detail than had been told over the years. But, none of the peers remember, so I think it's a solitary experience for that age child.
Sometimes, I could tell how Gen-Z differed from the Millennials of the book, and at other times, I had no idea whether and how much it differed, based on the very small sample size of those that I know, either through church or through Christian school, probably with a too-similar demographic to each other to really represent the whole generation accurately. In addition, Dr. Egeler quoted directly conflicting studies of Millennials and said, "It's very difficult to get accurate data regarding youth perceptions." I think that's probably because teens are in a continual state of change, and like the rest of us, very influenced by how questions are worded.
Dr. Egeler mentioned Neil Howe and William Strauss's study and conclusion that "This generation is going to rebel, not by being worse, but better." I can still see that in Gen-Z, particularly in team-playing and civic-minded volunteering. The Gen-Zs do, like the Millennials before them, also do still consider it cool to be smart, and they like rules, much more than I ever did. Sometimes I would wonder why my kids couldn't just love each other, why we had to have rules on everything, but they did better with rules, as sort of an arbitration of what to do in various situations, so we had rules for everything, although, at times, I would remind them, or ask them, what would be the loving thing to do. Rules can't cover everything.
"Millennials hear their parents talk the good talk, but they themselves aren't satisfied with mere symbol and gesture. They intend to be authentic and walk the walk." I would say this was also true of the Gen-Z kids I've seen. It's very meaningful to them, both to see me volunteer in places, and to volunteer alongside me. To them, that meant "making it real."
I remember once, many years ago, reading a comment by Dr. James Dobson that with so many broken homes resulting in so many broken individuals, that there wouldn't be enough emotionally healthy people around to take care of the rest. But now I see what's happened as a result of such wide-spread brokenness: a culture of volunteering, of broken people taking care of broken people, and perhaps a disbelief that families can be both functional and emotionally close.
Dr. Egeler talked about the importance of mentoring and acting within society, with a sense of understanding it, instead of blindly doing it as it's always been done before. "And do this, understanding the present time." - Romans 13:11, NIV
I thought it was interesting in a day when people devalue absolute truth, Thomas Bender characterized people with an uncommon insistence on truth as "fact fetishists.'
I found the second half of the book much more meaningful to me, in talking about the different types of mentoring and what it means to mentor. That section of the book is probably beneficial, regardless of the generation we're discussing. Also, it's told in a more anecdotal format, so it's more readable than bare facts and figures.
"A mentor must realize that a mutual attraction and a teachable heart are not his or her responsibility... The irony and tragedy is that many of the Millennials who could most benefit from mentoring are just not ready for such a relationship - they don't yet have a teachable heart and therefore resist any mutual attraction with an adult." It's a good reminder that even when a mentor does everything "right" that someone may still not be ready.
And it's a little odd way to state a fondness for each other: "mutual attraction." "Attraction" makes it sound romantic, but that's not what Dr. Egeler intended by the phrase. It makes sense that people who are mentoring and being mentored have to like each other, at least on some basic level.
I like Dr. Lichi's four steps towards establishing such a friendship:
"First, learn to make teenagers feel important."
"Second, express your positive thoughts about the young person."
"Third, spend time with the young person. Invite him to do something that he enjoys or just do a special favor for him."
"Fourth, don't be afraid to share this friendship with others."
I suppose I already do this some, more to take the edge off suspicion and animosity, than to leading toward a mentoring relationship, but I have seen it work in changing attitudes. (I didn't take the animosity personally. I think anyone coming by would've received the same treatment.) In particular, there was one boy going through tough situations, but whenever I saw him, I would take the time to point out how responsible he'd been, or how others must've viewed he was responsible to give him the chores/position he had, or how "good" (compassionate) he'd been to so and so. Although I hadn't given him any of those jobs or guided him to any of those decisions, he always seemed to stand a little taller and I think he went from giving me dark looks to actually seeming to like me coming around. I never came by expressly to see him. I always had other meetings scheduled when I'd walk by, but I'd still take a minute with him.
"Bottom line, a healthy downward mentoring relationship should be energy-producing rather than energy draining." I would say that's probably true for extroverts, and maybe less so for introverts, even when it is done well.
It seems like I just commented on similar thoughts in reviewing Mr. Rasnake's "Using Your Spiritual Gifts,"so I will copy below three paragraphs below, rather than re-writing for this review.
- - -
"There were a couple times that Mr. Rasnake was not in tune with the ways that introverts tend to serve in the church. Introverts are not necessarily shy, socially awkward, or socially anxious, but they find more energy alone than they do with others. I would recommend Adam McHugh’s “Introverts in the Church” to people who felt out of step with some of the statements and suggestions in this book. For example, Mr. Rasnake said, “When you are serving in your giftedness it will energize you – not drain you.” While Jesus did say that His food was to do the will of His Father (energizing Him), He also fell asleep in the boat, sleeping during a disturbing storm, exhausted from long hours of ministry. There was a balance there, between the two concepts, and Jesus Himself showed both extroverted and introverted tendencies. Not surprisingly, since He can relate to all of us. Some introverts find that all avenues of loving other people – just because they involve other people – draining.
"To be fair to Mr. Rasnake, he didn’t mention the idea that doing the will of His Father energized Jesus, but that seemed to fit into his thought process. Instead, he called it sustaining Jesus, satisfying Jesus, and being pleasurable to Jesus. I hadn’t really thought of it any further than energizing, and so, it was good to look at it from the viewpoint of introverts, and find that yes, while service can be physically draining, it can also be emotionally or spiritually sustaining, satisfying, and pleasurable, even to introverts.
"But just because something is draining does not mean that one is not gifted in it, and it does not mean that it is not God’s will. Sometimes our hardest fought battles with temptation, etc., are God’s will, and that can certainly be draining. I would say, instead, that if a ministry is draining, then a person should be more wary to guard their energy levels. Perhaps they would find other avenues of service less draining, perhaps not. And, as options to consider, there are some avenues of service which do not involve much face to face contact."
- - -
Back to discussing Dr. Egeler's "Mentoring Millenials." "A downward mentoring relationship tests an adult's flexibility." Amen.
I liked the analogy where Dr. Egeler quoted Philip Yancy's "What's So Amazing About Grace?", which I have read, but had not remembered. He contrasts the idea of dispensing grace by perfuming the air to the idea of a stinky bug spray cracking down on mistakes. I love the idea of intentionally including grace in the mentoring relationships.
I liked the different categories of mentoring, rather than having a one-size-fits-all sort of mentoring. The most casual kind of mentoring was "passive mentoring," either from a contemporary or historical source. This was "someone who mentors, without a deliberate effort, simply by living a life that provides a model for a protege." It "not only serves as an example, but inspires emulation," also called "lifestyle mentoring."
It was interesting to me to read this section, because I think a number of my mentors during my own teen years were historical mentors, pastors whose works I read and absorbed. I wasn't looking to be a pastor, but to learn to live my Christianity well, to honor and connect with my Savior well. It was interesting to me to read of Dr. Vernard Gant's historical mentors and how they influenced his life, because, honestly, I'm not sure I've ever met anyone else, other than myself, who had absorbed so much into life from the writings of others. It takes a very geeky, thinking, philosophical kind of person to do so. Most people learn by interacting, by doing. There are very few people wired to do because of what they've read.
It was also encouraging to me to read because as much as I might hope otherwise, my own mentoring of teens probably falls most often into this category. Sometimes I feel something close to despair in that so many teens don't have someone pouring into them all that I tried to pour into my own kids. And there are so many of these kids, and so little time in my schedule. Sometimes, in talking with them, I can tell that their parents have poured conversations and life lessons into their kids - they will be okay - but most of the time, nobody has, and the things they don't know appalls me. I know one should probably not mentor from a state of feeling appalled and overwhelmed, but from a sense of hopefulness, of drawing out the best in others. And so, I do try.
And so this section of the book, on passive mentoring, is a good reminder that sometimes, these little words of encouragement, or this trying to live well, both privately and publicly, does indeed matter, that for some people, it is enough, for the moment, and can go beyond what I am aware of or intend. It's the sort of thing that happened when I overheard a teen girl telling someone else something about Christianity, contrasting it with other religions. I was surprised, first of all, that she'd really listened to me, and secondly, that she thought it was worth repeating, and thirdly, that she could repeat it so clearly.
I will throw in a different verse which has been coming to mind lately in this context." ... being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." - Philippians 1:6, NIV. It is Jesus Himself Who began the good work in them, and He is the One Who will carry it on to completion within them. Their hope, fortunately, does not rest on me, although I need to do my part. It rests on Him.
Dr. Egeler had his own set of verses on passive mentoring, too:
"Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me or seen in me, put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." - Philippians 4:9
"Remember your leaders who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith." - Hebrews 13:7
"I urge you to imitate me. For this reason, I am sending to you Timothy, my son whom I love, who is faithful in the Lord. He will remind you of my way of life in Christ Jesus, which agrees with what I teach everywhere in every church." - 1 Corinthians 4:16-18
The first depth of mentoring was passively. The second depth was occasional mentoring, which fell into three categories:
Counseling - "the mentor strives to empower the protege through timely advice and correct perspectives on oneself, others, circumstances, and ministry."
Teaching - "the mentor strives to empower the protege through the knowledge and understanding of a particular subject."
Sponsoring - "the mentor strives to empower the protege through career guidance and protection, as the protege becomes a leader within an organization."
When I think over my college years, I think the teaching mentorship mostly applied to me, in a small group setting, where a pastor trained us to lead Bible studies. I actually had no intention of leading; I just enjoyed the studying more in depth, although I have ended up leading various women's studies since. When I think over my early mothering years, my MOPS mentors did all three of these types of mentoring with me. If I were to think of the places and ways I currently volunteer with teens, teaching the basics of the faith is usually more my leaning. I don't usually generate the topic or the questions, and sometimes, that's all they have patience for, but sometimes, our conversations go much deeper - to my delight.
Dr. Egeler's stories in this section talked about failures to intentionally incorporate teaching into various scenarios. They were more negative, than positive examples, although some grew to be positive examples.
In the deepest type of mentoring situation, Dr. Egeler also had three categories:
discipling - "the mentor strives to empower the protege through understanding the basics of following Christ."
spiritual guiding - "the mentor strives to empower the protege through accountability, direction, and insight for questions, commitments, and decisions affecting spirituality and maturity."
coaching - "the mentor provides motivation and imparts skills and application to meet a specific task or challenge."
I'm afraid that I haven't either received or done something on the intensive level. I think, while at first I am very cooperative being mentored, eventually, some of my mentors have either wandered away from scripture where I refused to follow, or else I felt God leading me in a different direction, and if God and my mentor are divided on what I must do, then I must follow God.
I would add a warning to this mentoring book, about when someone who wants a mentor actually is replacing God with that mentor, a dangerous extreme. There is a difference between wanting God's wisdom on something, and using someone as a go-between so that you don't connect with God yourself. I thought this was a good article on the distinction:
http://gretchenronnevik.com/2019/01/t...
The last section of Dr. Egeler's "Mentoring Millennials" studies Barnabas' style of mentoring. I hadn't really thought about the statistic before, that fourteen of the twenty-seven New Testament books were written by protoges of Barnabas. I'll also comment that some people suspect that Barnabas himself wrote the book of Hebrews anonymously.
There's not much in scripture about him, but enough. He encouraged others without hidden agendas or selfish motives, in contrast to Ananias and Saphira. In regards to Barnabas' dispute with Paul over John-Mark, Dr. Egeler said, "For Barnabas, developing harvest workers was as important as reaping the harvest." In doing so, he represented forgiveness and restoration, which Paul later affirmed in John-Mark's case.
I liked two of Dr. Egeler's quotes on this section:
"He [God] divinely ordains the placement of people in our lives."
"It was humbling to see God work in spite of my negative attitude at the start."
Dr. Egeler also recommended another reference for more information: Ron Lee Davis, "Mentoring: The Strategy of the Master." Dr. Egeler quoted him as saying, "More time spent with fewer people equals greater lasting impact for God." I found that to be an interesting quote because it echoes what I recently read in Robert Coleman's "The Master Plan of Evangelism."
Speaking of Coleman's "The Master Plan," I'll also add that Robert Coleman mentioned “Pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest that he will send forth laborers into his harvest.” – Matt 9:37-38. It’s the second time I’ve come across this verse lately. The first was in Eddie Rasnake’s “Using Your Spiritual Gifts.” I think it is appropriate here, also, in praying for the mentors for our teens.
The first half of the book, with all the statistics and trends, was dated, so much so that I had a hard time reading it, knowing things had changed so much. Depending on how demographers divide up the various generations, either our older two kids are Millennials, with the youngest being Gen-Z, or they are all 3 Gen-Z. The way this book carved up the dates, all 3 kids would be Gen-Z. Dr. Egeler called the most defining memory of Millennials 9/11, but only our oldest remembers 9/11, and that is somewhat phenomenal due to such a young age. Various people in my family, including myself, do have extremely young-age memories, and I think it was the fear of seeing the towers fall that influenced and firmed the memory for our oldest. I didn't even realize that the child was paying attention to the TV in the room, but later on, the child didn't want us to drive past any radio towers, for fear they would fall on us. And surprisingly, remembers with more detail than had been told over the years. But, none of the peers remember, so I think it's a solitary experience for that age child.
Sometimes, I could tell how Gen-Z differed from the Millennials of the book, and at other times, I had no idea whether and how much it differed, based on the very small sample size of those that I know, either through church or through Christian school, probably with a too-similar demographic to each other to really represent the whole generation accurately. In addition, Dr. Egeler quoted directly conflicting studies of Millennials and said, "It's very difficult to get accurate data regarding youth perceptions." I think that's probably because teens are in a continual state of change, and like the rest of us, very influenced by how questions are worded.
Dr. Egeler mentioned Neil Howe and William Strauss's study and conclusion that "This generation is going to rebel, not by being worse, but better." I can still see that in Gen-Z, particularly in team-playing and civic-minded volunteering. The Gen-Zs do, like the Millennials before them, also do still consider it cool to be smart, and they like rules, much more than I ever did. Sometimes I would wonder why my kids couldn't just love each other, why we had to have rules on everything, but they did better with rules, as sort of an arbitration of what to do in various situations, so we had rules for everything, although, at times, I would remind them, or ask them, what would be the loving thing to do. Rules can't cover everything.
"Millennials hear their parents talk the good talk, but they themselves aren't satisfied with mere symbol and gesture. They intend to be authentic and walk the walk." I would say this was also true of the Gen-Z kids I've seen. It's very meaningful to them, both to see me volunteer in places, and to volunteer alongside me. To them, that meant "making it real."
I remember once, many years ago, reading a comment by Dr. James Dobson that with so many broken homes resulting in so many broken individuals, that there wouldn't be enough emotionally healthy people around to take care of the rest. But now I see what's happened as a result of such wide-spread brokenness: a culture of volunteering, of broken people taking care of broken people, and perhaps a disbelief that families can be both functional and emotionally close.
Dr. Egeler talked about the importance of mentoring and acting within society, with a sense of understanding it, instead of blindly doing it as it's always been done before. "And do this, understanding the present time." - Romans 13:11, NIV
I thought it was interesting in a day when people devalue absolute truth, Thomas Bender characterized people with an uncommon insistence on truth as "fact fetishists.'
I found the second half of the book much more meaningful to me, in talking about the different types of mentoring and what it means to mentor. That section of the book is probably beneficial, regardless of the generation we're discussing. Also, it's told in a more anecdotal format, so it's more readable than bare facts and figures.
"A mentor must realize that a mutual attraction and a teachable heart are not his or her responsibility... The irony and tragedy is that many of the Millennials who could most benefit from mentoring are just not ready for such a relationship - they don't yet have a teachable heart and therefore resist any mutual attraction with an adult." It's a good reminder that even when a mentor does everything "right" that someone may still not be ready.
And it's a little odd way to state a fondness for each other: "mutual attraction." "Attraction" makes it sound romantic, but that's not what Dr. Egeler intended by the phrase. It makes sense that people who are mentoring and being mentored have to like each other, at least on some basic level.
I like Dr. Lichi's four steps towards establishing such a friendship:
"First, learn to make teenagers feel important."
"Second, express your positive thoughts about the young person."
"Third, spend time with the young person. Invite him to do something that he enjoys or just do a special favor for him."
"Fourth, don't be afraid to share this friendship with others."
I suppose I already do this some, more to take the edge off suspicion and animosity, than to leading toward a mentoring relationship, but I have seen it work in changing attitudes. (I didn't take the animosity personally. I think anyone coming by would've received the same treatment.) In particular, there was one boy going through tough situations, but whenever I saw him, I would take the time to point out how responsible he'd been, or how others must've viewed he was responsible to give him the chores/position he had, or how "good" (compassionate) he'd been to so and so. Although I hadn't given him any of those jobs or guided him to any of those decisions, he always seemed to stand a little taller and I think he went from giving me dark looks to actually seeming to like me coming around. I never came by expressly to see him. I always had other meetings scheduled when I'd walk by, but I'd still take a minute with him.
"Bottom line, a healthy downward mentoring relationship should be energy-producing rather than energy draining." I would say that's probably true for extroverts, and maybe less so for introverts, even when it is done well.
It seems like I just commented on similar thoughts in reviewing Mr. Rasnake's "Using Your Spiritual Gifts,"so I will copy below three paragraphs below, rather than re-writing for this review.
- - -
"There were a couple times that Mr. Rasnake was not in tune with the ways that introverts tend to serve in the church. Introverts are not necessarily shy, socially awkward, or socially anxious, but they find more energy alone than they do with others. I would recommend Adam McHugh’s “Introverts in the Church” to people who felt out of step with some of the statements and suggestions in this book. For example, Mr. Rasnake said, “When you are serving in your giftedness it will energize you – not drain you.” While Jesus did say that His food was to do the will of His Father (energizing Him), He also fell asleep in the boat, sleeping during a disturbing storm, exhausted from long hours of ministry. There was a balance there, between the two concepts, and Jesus Himself showed both extroverted and introverted tendencies. Not surprisingly, since He can relate to all of us. Some introverts find that all avenues of loving other people – just because they involve other people – draining.
"To be fair to Mr. Rasnake, he didn’t mention the idea that doing the will of His Father energized Jesus, but that seemed to fit into his thought process. Instead, he called it sustaining Jesus, satisfying Jesus, and being pleasurable to Jesus. I hadn’t really thought of it any further than energizing, and so, it was good to look at it from the viewpoint of introverts, and find that yes, while service can be physically draining, it can also be emotionally or spiritually sustaining, satisfying, and pleasurable, even to introverts.
"But just because something is draining does not mean that one is not gifted in it, and it does not mean that it is not God’s will. Sometimes our hardest fought battles with temptation, etc., are God’s will, and that can certainly be draining. I would say, instead, that if a ministry is draining, then a person should be more wary to guard their energy levels. Perhaps they would find other avenues of service less draining, perhaps not. And, as options to consider, there are some avenues of service which do not involve much face to face contact."
- - -
Back to discussing Dr. Egeler's "Mentoring Millenials." "A downward mentoring relationship tests an adult's flexibility." Amen.
I liked the analogy where Dr. Egeler quoted Philip Yancy's "What's So Amazing About Grace?", which I have read, but had not remembered. He contrasts the idea of dispensing grace by perfuming the air to the idea of a stinky bug spray cracking down on mistakes. I love the idea of intentionally including grace in the mentoring relationships.
I liked the different categories of mentoring, rather than having a one-size-fits-all sort of mentoring. The most casual kind of mentoring was "passive mentoring," either from a contemporary or historical source. This was "someone who mentors, without a deliberate effort, simply by living a life that provides a model for a protege." It "not only serves as an example, but inspires emulation," also called "lifestyle mentoring."
It was interesting to me to read this section, because I think a number of my mentors during my own teen years were historical mentors, pastors whose works I read and absorbed. I wasn't looking to be a pastor, but to learn to live my Christianity well, to honor and connect with my Savior well. It was interesting to me to read of Dr. Vernard Gant's historical mentors and how they influenced his life, because, honestly, I'm not sure I've ever met anyone else, other than myself, who had absorbed so much into life from the writings of others. It takes a very geeky, thinking, philosophical kind of person to do so. Most people learn by interacting, by doing. There are very few people wired to do because of what they've read.
It was also encouraging to me to read because as much as I might hope otherwise, my own mentoring of teens probably falls most often into this category. Sometimes I feel something close to despair in that so many teens don't have someone pouring into them all that I tried to pour into my own kids. And there are so many of these kids, and so little time in my schedule. Sometimes, in talking with them, I can tell that their parents have poured conversations and life lessons into their kids - they will be okay - but most of the time, nobody has, and the things they don't know appalls me. I know one should probably not mentor from a state of feeling appalled and overwhelmed, but from a sense of hopefulness, of drawing out the best in others. And so, I do try.
And so this section of the book, on passive mentoring, is a good reminder that sometimes, these little words of encouragement, or this trying to live well, both privately and publicly, does indeed matter, that for some people, it is enough, for the moment, and can go beyond what I am aware of or intend. It's the sort of thing that happened when I overheard a teen girl telling someone else something about Christianity, contrasting it with other religions. I was surprised, first of all, that she'd really listened to me, and secondly, that she thought it was worth repeating, and thirdly, that she could repeat it so clearly.
I will throw in a different verse which has been coming to mind lately in this context." ... being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." - Philippians 1:6, NIV. It is Jesus Himself Who began the good work in them, and He is the One Who will carry it on to completion within them. Their hope, fortunately, does not rest on me, although I need to do my part. It rests on Him.
Dr. Egeler had his own set of verses on passive mentoring, too:
"Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me or seen in me, put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." - Philippians 4:9
"Remember your leaders who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith." - Hebrews 13:7
"I urge you to imitate me. For this reason, I am sending to you Timothy, my son whom I love, who is faithful in the Lord. He will remind you of my way of life in Christ Jesus, which agrees with what I teach everywhere in every church." - 1 Corinthians 4:16-18
The first depth of mentoring was passively. The second depth was occasional mentoring, which fell into three categories:
Counseling - "the mentor strives to empower the protege through timely advice and correct perspectives on oneself, others, circumstances, and ministry."
Teaching - "the mentor strives to empower the protege through the knowledge and understanding of a particular subject."
Sponsoring - "the mentor strives to empower the protege through career guidance and protection, as the protege becomes a leader within an organization."
When I think over my college years, I think the teaching mentorship mostly applied to me, in a small group setting, where a pastor trained us to lead Bible studies. I actually had no intention of leading; I just enjoyed the studying more in depth, although I have ended up leading various women's studies since. When I think over my early mothering years, my MOPS mentors did all three of these types of mentoring with me. If I were to think of the places and ways I currently volunteer with teens, teaching the basics of the faith is usually more my leaning. I don't usually generate the topic or the questions, and sometimes, that's all they have patience for, but sometimes, our conversations go much deeper - to my delight.
Dr. Egeler's stories in this section talked about failures to intentionally incorporate teaching into various scenarios. They were more negative, than positive examples, although some grew to be positive examples.
In the deepest type of mentoring situation, Dr. Egeler also had three categories:
discipling - "the mentor strives to empower the protege through understanding the basics of following Christ."
spiritual guiding - "the mentor strives to empower the protege through accountability, direction, and insight for questions, commitments, and decisions affecting spirituality and maturity."
coaching - "the mentor provides motivation and imparts skills and application to meet a specific task or challenge."
I'm afraid that I haven't either received or done something on the intensive level. I think, while at first I am very cooperative being mentored, eventually, some of my mentors have either wandered away from scripture where I refused to follow, or else I felt God leading me in a different direction, and if God and my mentor are divided on what I must do, then I must follow God.
I would add a warning to this mentoring book, about when someone who wants a mentor actually is replacing God with that mentor, a dangerous extreme. There is a difference between wanting God's wisdom on something, and using someone as a go-between so that you don't connect with God yourself. I thought this was a good article on the distinction:
http://gretchenronnevik.com/2019/01/t...
The last section of Dr. Egeler's "Mentoring Millennials" studies Barnabas' style of mentoring. I hadn't really thought about the statistic before, that fourteen of the twenty-seven New Testament books were written by protoges of Barnabas. I'll also comment that some people suspect that Barnabas himself wrote the book of Hebrews anonymously.
There's not much in scripture about him, but enough. He encouraged others without hidden agendas or selfish motives, in contrast to Ananias and Saphira. In regards to Barnabas' dispute with Paul over John-Mark, Dr. Egeler said, "For Barnabas, developing harvest workers was as important as reaping the harvest." In doing so, he represented forgiveness and restoration, which Paul later affirmed in John-Mark's case.
I liked two of Dr. Egeler's quotes on this section:
"He [God] divinely ordains the placement of people in our lives."
"It was humbling to see God work in spite of my negative attitude at the start."
Dr. Egeler also recommended another reference for more information: Ron Lee Davis, "Mentoring: The Strategy of the Master." Dr. Egeler quoted him as saying, "More time spent with fewer people equals greater lasting impact for God." I found that to be an interesting quote because it echoes what I recently read in Robert Coleman's "The Master Plan of Evangelism."
Speaking of Coleman's "The Master Plan," I'll also add that Robert Coleman mentioned “Pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest that he will send forth laborers into his harvest.” – Matt 9:37-38. It’s the second time I’ve come across this verse lately. The first was in Eddie Rasnake’s “Using Your Spiritual Gifts.” I think it is appropriate here, also, in praying for the mentors for our teens.
November 24, 2019
Written by Dr. Dan Egeler, who has now been elected to serve a two-year, renewable term as president of the board of the Council for American Private Education (CAPE) within the Association of Christian Schools International (ACSI).
His book discusses mentorship, both it's meaning and application.
Some takeaways and reminders for myself which were insightful discussed how we can challenge students by asking them how they will “choose to live their lives in light of eternity.” Small acts of kindness are also the hallmarks of allowing the Holy Spirit to work within the younger generation (pg. 22). We should also “embrace an ethic of sustained mentorship that extends from the community to relationship” (pg.46). Mentoring should be “up close and personal” and should give the mentor the ability to facilitate development and empowerment through relationship as quoted from Robert Clinton’s, Connecting: The Mentoring Relationships You Need to Succeed in Life (pg. 75).
His book discusses mentorship, both it's meaning and application.
Some takeaways and reminders for myself which were insightful discussed how we can challenge students by asking them how they will “choose to live their lives in light of eternity.” Small acts of kindness are also the hallmarks of allowing the Holy Spirit to work within the younger generation (pg. 22). We should also “embrace an ethic of sustained mentorship that extends from the community to relationship” (pg.46). Mentoring should be “up close and personal” and should give the mentor the ability to facilitate development and empowerment through relationship as quoted from Robert Clinton’s, Connecting: The Mentoring Relationships You Need to Succeed in Life (pg. 75).
January 13, 2023
HIGHLIGHTS:
1. Highest value is CHOICE. Wants to see authenticity in adults' lives.
2. Emotional stability and happiness = need limits, and can’t have direction unless they have some structure. Courage to provide boundaries.
3. Effective mentors will rejoice when their protégés eventually exceed them.
- Kids would respect a teacher much more if he or she demonstrated genuine, authentic caring, and concern and took the initiative to be an adult in their lives by providing boundaries, guidance, and direction.
4. HEALTHY MENTORING RELATIONSHIP: Mutual attraction. Protégé’s responsiveness. Mutual accountability.
5. The importance of loving relationships as a mark of discipleship.
6. Nurture their development one step at a time.
- LEVELS: Passive – contemporary, historical. 7. Occasional – counseling, teaching, sponsoring.
- Intensive – discipline, spiritual guiding, coaching.
7. Honestly communicate expectations and schedule periodic reviews.
- The greater the time commitment made to the relationship, the greater the need for accountability.
8. Practical application + stories.
9. A teacher mentor must have a level of mastery in a particular subject as well as the ability to convey that knowledge and understanding.
- The combination can be a dynamic tool to shape young lives.
10. There may be times when you may be the only one to see that potential.
1. Highest value is CHOICE. Wants to see authenticity in adults' lives.
2. Emotional stability and happiness = need limits, and can’t have direction unless they have some structure. Courage to provide boundaries.
3. Effective mentors will rejoice when their protégés eventually exceed them.
- Kids would respect a teacher much more if he or she demonstrated genuine, authentic caring, and concern and took the initiative to be an adult in their lives by providing boundaries, guidance, and direction.
4. HEALTHY MENTORING RELATIONSHIP: Mutual attraction. Protégé’s responsiveness. Mutual accountability.
5. The importance of loving relationships as a mark of discipleship.
6. Nurture their development one step at a time.
- LEVELS: Passive – contemporary, historical. 7. Occasional – counseling, teaching, sponsoring.
- Intensive – discipline, spiritual guiding, coaching.
7. Honestly communicate expectations and schedule periodic reviews.
- The greater the time commitment made to the relationship, the greater the need for accountability.
8. Practical application + stories.
9. A teacher mentor must have a level of mastery in a particular subject as well as the ability to convey that knowledge and understanding.
- The combination can be a dynamic tool to shape young lives.
10. There may be times when you may be the only one to see that potential.
January 11, 2015
Helpful introduction to different types of mentoring. Statistics outdated, but Egeler's personal stories inspiring. So scan past the stats, think on the mentoring styles, and soak in the stories. This book motivated me to rethink my relationships with various learning center leaders among asylum seekers and refugees. I guess I'm giving them occasional mentoring of the "teaching" and "sponsoring" styles. Now maybe I can plan my interactions with them more deliberately.
LEVEL ONE: Passive Mentoring (mentoring by your example)
- Contemporary Style
- Historical Style
LEVEL TWO: Occasional Mentoring
- Counseling Style
- Teaching Style
- Sponsoring Style
LEVEL THREE: Intensive Mentoring
- Discipling Style
- Spiritual Guiding Style
- Coaching Style
LEVEL ONE: Passive Mentoring (mentoring by your example)
- Contemporary Style
- Historical Style
LEVEL TWO: Occasional Mentoring
- Counseling Style
- Teaching Style
- Sponsoring Style
LEVEL THREE: Intensive Mentoring
- Discipling Style
- Spiritual Guiding Style
- Coaching Style
June 22, 2011
This was a very good book about mentoring and discipling students born after 1982. The author used stories from his personal experiences to share the different styles and levels of mentoring. Mentoring is much more than I thought it was. It can happen on several different levels and for several different reasons. This book challenged me to think about how I am interacting with my students and how I am investing in their lives. I need to be intentional in how I reach out to my students. While I cannot and will not reach every student, I can be intentional in reaching those I am able to. This was very helpful as I think through my approach to students of today's generation.
October 9, 2018
Mentoring Millennials: Shaping the Next Generation is a great, useful book. It used many wonderful stories to illustrate different styles of mentoring young people today. I have been challenged to step up my game in that aspect of my role as a college registrar / professor.
Though it is not specifically a missions book, I have included it on this shelf because the author grew up overseas as a missionary kid (MK) and taught for many years at an international school in Latin America, thus many of his examples are relevant to working with MK's.
Though it is not specifically a missions book, I have included it on this shelf because the author grew up overseas as a missionary kid (MK) and taught for many years at an international school in Latin America, thus many of his examples are relevant to working with MK's.
December 22, 2015
Good information if you were to have read a couple years ago. Some carry over for the Global Generation.
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