I Said This, You Heard That - Second Edition

by Kathleen Edelman, The ColorWorks Group (Editor)

Your wiring colors every conversation. It’s why some words inspire you and others overwhelm. Why some interactions delight you and others do not. Why some relationships are easy and others… aren’t. So before you open your mouth (or ears) again, read this book. The framework you’ll learn will unlock a better way to communicate with your loved ones, colleagues, friends, siblings, neighbors, and even the cashier at the grocery store. Included inside the book is a unique, scratch-off code that provides instant access to a 40-question digital assessment to identify your wiring. Plus, you'll also find quick-reference guides to learn and remember the framework and conversation starters for use at home, work, or with any group.

Genres: Communication, Nonfiction, Personal Development, Leadership

Paperback

Published October 8, 2023

Reviews

[Zoey 🌷💫 White · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best self development book hands down. I loved Atomic Habits for the internal development but this not only helps with that but with communication with others! It’s a must read.

[Michelle Russell · Rating 5 out of 5]

“I Said This, You Heard That” is a total game-changer when it comes to communication, especially in relationships that matter most—whether personal or professional. Kathleen Edelman’s approach to understanding the power of words through the lens of temperament is both eye-opening and practical.

This book helped me see how the way I say things can land differently depending on who I'm speaking to—and how their unique temperament filters every word. The color-coded system (Yellow, Red, Blue, Green) is simple to grasp yet incredibly insightful. It helped me pause and rethink how I interact with others and gave me the tools to become a more intentional, compassionate, and effective communicator.

I especially appreciated the real-life examples and workbook-style format, which made the concepts stick. Whether you're leading a team, parenting, or simply trying to strengthen your relationships, this book equips you with the language of understanding.

Highly recommend for anyone ready to transform the way they speak—and listen. This isn't just a book you read; it’s one you live.

[Scott Novis · Rating 5 out of 5]

A powerful practical guide to kinder communication

I've read and reviewed a lot of personality assessments, but what I love about the four color framework is that it is simple enough for me to act on it in real time with the people in my life. When I understand them better, it is easier for me to appreciate them. When I know what they need, I can be kinder and help "fill their tanks." I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to improve your relationships, and your self understanding.

[Joelene Lane · Rating 5 out of 5]

While the concept did not strike me as revolutionary, this is a nice, fairly succinct explanation of why we can so easily misconstrue the meaning of what we hear, and feel misunderstood when we speak. Definitely recommend, with the same caution of any categorizing/personality type theory you can read out there: every person is a little different and you might be able to broadly group & label, but don't lock yourself or others into any boxes because of it.

[Brittan Culclasure · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is such a helpful tool for effective, kind communication. Learning about each temperaments needs and traits is so helpful. I love how this book is written. It’s not textbook/lecture feeling. It’s more conversational and easy to understand. I highly recommend this book!

[Jillena · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent. I look forward to reading Kathleen's book on Children. I recommend this book to everyone!

[Anna · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the most practical personality-types books out there. It helped me better understand my family and roommate dynamics. I hope to remember and apply this knowledge in the future.

[Kelly Woldseth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone should read this book. Easy and quick read and makes so much sense how people are different. Wish I read this years ago.

[Leigh Green]

Required reading for work. I’m a “blue.”
You never know with personality frameworks but this one seems pretty solid.