Just Married: The Catholic Guide to Surviving and Thriving in the First Five Years of Marriage

by Gregory K. Popcak, Lisa A. Popcak

Nationally syndicated radio hosts and international family life speakers Greg and Lisa Popcak combine decades of counseling, the latest findings in marriage research, twenty-three years of marriage, and the wisdom of Catholic teaching to offer newlyweds a master plan for creating a strong bond in the first five years of marriage.

Recent research shows that now, more than ever, couples doubt their ability to create a marriage that will withstand the test of time. In their newest book, Catholic therapist Greg Popcak and family life coach Lisa Popcak offer their own story and a master plan for creating and sustaining a Catholic marriage that will last a lifetime. Readers will be heartened to see that despite the odds, every couple has the capacity to live happily ever after. They need only commit to learning the critical skills of the first five years of marriage, praying together, conflict resolution, stress management, and holy sex.

Genres: Catholic, Nonfiction, Marriage, Religion

247 pages, Paperback

First published August 26, 2013

About the author

Dr. Gregory Popcak is the Executive Director of the Pastoral Solutions Institute, an organization dedicated to helping Catholics find faith-filled solutions to tough marriage, family, and personal problems. The author of over a dozen popular books integrating solid Catholic theology and counseling psychology (including; For Better…FOREVER!, Holy Sex!, Parenting with Grace, Beyond the Birds and the Bees), Dr. Popcak is an expert on the practical applications of the Theology of the Body. Through the Pastoral Solutions Institute, he directs a group pastoral tele-counseling practice that provides ongoing pastoral psychotherapy services to Catholic couples, individuals and families around the world. Since 2001, he and his wife and co-author, Lisa Popcak, have hosted several nationally-syndicated, call-in radio advice programs including Heart, Mind and Strength (Ave Maria Radio 2001-2010), Fully Alive! (Sirius/XM-The Catholic Channel 2007-2010), and most recently, More2Life (Ave Maria Radio–Airing M-F, Noon-1pm Eastern– 2010-Present). They have also hosted two for EWTN (For Better…FOREVER! & God Help Me!). Dr. Popcak’s articles appear regularly in Catholic periodicals such as Catholic Digest, Family Foundations, and others. Dr. Greg Popcak and Lisa Popcak are sought after public speakers and trainers and have been honored to address audiences across North America, Australia, and Hong Kong.

In addition to his ministry work, Dr. Popcak serves as adjunct faculty for the Franciscan University of Steubenville in both the sociology and graduate theology departments where he teaches Christianity & Society and Pastoral & Spiritual Direction respectively. He also serves on the faculty of the doctor of social work program for the Harold Abel School of Behavioral Health at Capella University.

Reviews

[Julie Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is now the book I'm going to give newlyweds. I wish we'd had it when we got married. I wasn't religious at all then and my husband was not a practicing Catholic. Nevertheless, I stand by that. It would have helped us tremendously.

I don't like self-help books generally but this one is spot-on for issues that we've encountered in our 30 years of marriage and after helping with our parish's marriage retreat for seven years.

Greg and Lisa Popcak are at very good putting issues in a way that both opens our eyes and makes us want to do better. These three tidbits were in the same section, although not connected by the authors in the way I'm going to do below. They are a sample of what stayed with me from the book. And, to be honest, they stayed with me months after I read the book.

The biggest contributor to marital problems and, eventually, marital breakdown is that husbands and wives tend to love their own comfort zones more than they love each other.

Ow. Recognize anyone? I did. In the mirror.

With that in mind, consider this.

The fact that marriage is a sacrament means, at least in part, that marriage is all about getting you and your spouse out of your comfort zones in order to create a unified couple.

Woah. That elevates our marriage and my feelings about my place in it. It's more important than just me and my husband.

And now, to the practicalities.

Learning to love your spouse more than you love your comfort zone means being willing to be loving to your spouse in ways that make absolutely no sense to you but mean everything to your mate.

Ok. It doesn't have to make sense. And that in itself, in a funny way, does make sense.

Make no mistake. This is a self-help style book. It has lists, it has exercises, it has "Lisa says" and "Greg says," and so forth and so on.

However, also make no mistake about this: it's a treasure for every newly married couple and for those who have been married much longer. Definitely recommended.

[Deanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Easy read, and a great little DIY retreat for young married couples! We enjoyed revisiting important topics and being refreshed on the Catholic teachings surrounding them. Some of the references are outdated and some parts are pretty cheesy, but if you can skim past those, it can lead to some refreshing conversation!

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Definitely a book I will revisit and work through with my husband. Especially the portions on prayer, because that is something we struggle with implementing consistently as a couple. The way they write things is a bit cheesy at times, but not as bad in this book as in some of their others.

[Thomas Dooley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent practical advise for building your identity as a newly wed couple. I would recommend this text as supplemental material for any marriage preparation program.

[Kate Nowakowski · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some good advice, some frustrating personal perspectives that I didn't find particularly helpful

[Aaron · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a good marriage 101 book for people who may have never really even considered what a Christian marriage might look like. At times it does get a little repetitive though.

[Emilia P · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like reading these sorts of books with confirmation bias -- I'm doing pretty good in my relationship, aren't I? And yes, this confirmed as much. :) But yeah -- it was a decent primer for dealing with conflict, working together, riding the tides of things that will come up in the early years of marriage. There was of course, plenty of stuff about praying together and growing in your Catholic faith. I can't do that, of course, since my spouse isn't Catholic, so this book could have stood to acknowledge people like myself. It would have been that much more enjoyable. Easy reading, but it can't hurt.