Are We Special? The Truth and the Lie About God's Chosen People

by Jeffrey S. Reber, Steven P. Moody

Have you ever felt you might be special?

Where does that feeling come from—and what does it really mean?

The truth is that we are special, because we are all beloved children of our Heavenly Father, and we enjoyed a special, personal relationship with Him before coming to earth. Having left His presence, we feel a void, a homesickness that reminds us that we are more than mortal beings and inclines us toward our Father and His love.

But we are sometimes persuaded by the lie that we are more special than others. The lie lifts us above others, creates feelings of entitlement, and convinces us that the void we feel signifies our personal destiny for glory. It inclines us to seek fame, prestige, or wealth as proof of our superiority over others.

Each of us is constantly enticed by this truth and this lie, and we respond to both using four strategies to manage our acceptance or denial, each with its defining feature of pride, despair, selfishness, or true discipleship. In Are We Special? authors Jeffrey Reber and Steven Moody show us how to increase our acceptance of the truth and denial of the lie in order to become true disciples of Jesus Christ.

Genres: Christian, Religion, Lds, Nonfiction

Hardcover

First published January 1, 2013

Reviews

[Patsy · Rating 5 out of 5]

The authors do an excellent job of identifying the inner struggle we have, to fill the void in our lives caused by our separation from our Heavenly Father. To the extent that we do this based on truth and authenticity, we can feel peace. Lots to ponder in this book.

[Deseret Book · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The ideas in this book changed my views on so many things. I have a deeper understanding of God's love for me and know that we are all special because God loves us individually and personally. The book has made me realize that I can see others through his eyes and have more empathy and understanding for others." --Customer Review

[Dail Allen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great insights about how to overcome our challenges.

[Shanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love a clean cover with lots of white space and simple, eye-catching art. With a question for a title and the dichotomy of the subtitle, I was intrigued from the start. How can our being “special” be both a truth AND a lie? It definitely urged me to read on and find out how it all fit together.

Being told all throughout childhood that we were a special generation that would lead the way into the millennium, etc., unintentionally encouraged me to have a somewhat inflated attitude regarding myself and those of my generation in the Church.There is an emphasis in my generation’s culture about feeling special and making sure your kids feel special. I have always felt like there was something wrong with that but couldn’t quite explain why. Now I understand that it isn’t recognizing that we are special that’s the problem, it’s feeling MORE special than someone else that is the real issue.

The authors state that being separated from our Father in Heaven during our time in mortality creates a void that Satan takes advantage of, tempting us to follow selfish, denigrating interests to fill what only a close relationship with our Father can only ever truly fill. It is that strong and special bond we enjoyed before this life that we miss and often end up trying to replace with empty, meaningless and even harmful pursuits.

They go on to explain the TRUTH and the LIE: While we, as children of God, are indeed special to Him, as members of the Church, we might mistakenly consider ourselves of more worth to Heavenly Father than His other children. We ARE special to our Heavenly Father, but we are not MORE special to Him.

“We can believe the adversary’s lie and try to fill our void with the false belief that we are better than others rather than lowly and humble servants of all.” –Are We Special?

The chapter examining the Pharisees had the most impact on me. I am guilty of sitting in Sunday School, answering “No” to the question, “Are you like the Pharisees of old?” After reading this section, I have learned there is a subtlety to these Pharisaical characteristics that, at one time or another, I have indeed been guilty of possessing.

Another section that really stood out to me was entitled “Sin and Perfection.” I have had issues with perfectionism most of my life, and there was one sentence that opened my eyes in a way that nothing else has previously. The authors explain that the root of the word translated into “perfect” in certain scriptures of the Bible means “whole” or “complete,” which I had previously known but had never considered in the context of my current relationship with my Savior:

“Perfection, understood relationally, is not a property of the individual; it is a quality of relationship with the divine.” –Are We Special?

The authors don’t just focus on the ways we struggle with being self-centered, modern-day Pharisees. They also discuss how we can be true disciples of Christ, submitting our will to His and accepting the fullness of His love so that we can truly love others.

"He delighted in the happiness of others, the happiness He could bring them." –Are We Special?

They encourage readers to take time to meditate and reflect, staying mindful about activities and if they are helping to develop a closer relationship with Christ. Each chapter and section is full of layers and depth that I did not expect and that have changed so much about the way I view myself and others, including my Savior and Father in Heaven. Everything relates back to the Savior and His Atonement for us, as well as the immense and incomprehensible Love that He and Heavenly Father have for every one of us.

Without hesitation, I recommend this book to everyone. There is wisdom and insight in this book to which my review cannot do justice. I will be purchasing copies of Are We Special? for myself and several loved ones. Visit the links below to learn more about Are We Special?, the authors, and how to purchase a copy for yourself.

Review originally published on LDS Women's Book Review - www.ldswbr.com

[Rhonda · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 STARS

Are We Special? Is a book that has hit me hard. I learned a lot. This is one book that is hard to read at one time. I feel like I could read this book many times and would learn something new each time. It would also be handy to have a dictionary on hand when reading. Some of this book was over my head. I wish I had read this book years ago.

Jeffrey & Steven use a lot of quotes & scriptures to back them up. They reinforce that we are all special as children of our Heavenly Father. We are all loved. That we are not more special than anyone else. They give a lot of examples of the different behaviors and I saw myself in many ways. I need lots of work to improve myself. They also share hope that we can all be better and through Jesus we can be better.

Excerpt

ARE WE SPECIAL? pg. 228

While it is true that we can live as if there is only the lie and we can become obsessed with comparing ourselves with others, the lie is not the only source of our special feelings. In fact, the lie can only ever be a false source of our special feelings that is provided by the adversary who desires to enslave us. The truth is that there is another source of our special feelings, a true source that pertains to all of us and provides the proper understanding of our true nature. We are children of a God, a divine King who loves His children with a love only a God can provide. We feel special because of our divine birthright. We feel special because we experienced this pure love of God when we were with Him prior to coming to this world, and we feel special because the resources God has provided us offer us the opportunity to feel that love again.



In the end, this is the most important message of this book: You are a son or a daughter of a King, and that King, your Heavenly Father, loves you so fully and completely that you are truly special indeed. You need only to raise your gaze to the heavens and accept His love and then the feeling of the void you experience as a consequence of this temporary separation from your Father will be filled with love and light”.


It's is hard for me to discuss this book because their is so much in it. The book divides people in four categories. At times I have fit in all four. Most people do the ideal is to spend more and more time in the disciple of Christ and not in the other parts.
the four parts are: The Pharisee, The Egoist, The Nihilist and The Disciple. They break down what each one believes and behaves like.

I know this is one book that I want to reread and understand myself a lot better. To help me a better daughter of God. A better sister, friend, mother and sometime a long way off a better grandmother.

I was given this book to read and asked in exchange to give honest review and be part of their blog tour.
Publisher: Deseret Book Company (2013) 320 pages ISBN-10: 1609075161

[Jinky · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book began with a premise that we once lived with Heavenly Father and when we came to earth, the separation from Him caused a void in us that longed to be filled.  This book ventured the psyche of man in his relationship with God to identify how we fill that void.  Guided by the principles found from the teachings in the LDS* church, the authors came up with a system of ideas to help us understand why we think and do what we do.  They categorized this theory into personality quadrants (Pharisees, Egoists, Nihilists, Disciples)**, using a combination of belief in the TRUTH or LIE.  At any given time, one can be found in a quadrant.  The best quadrant to be is "Disciples", where you accept the truth and deny the lie.

My copy of this book is all marked up and frankly, stained with tears.  I found it to be very insightful, edifying, hopeful, and especially caring.  It not only provided the "what" to thought processes but the "why" and so I came out of the read armed with the power of knowledge that can help me succeed in truly filling the "void".  Such power came from the scriptural and prophetic words that were cited.  The author's personal examples also strengthened my understanding.  Overall, my spirit felt the truth of the admonition that were being conveyed.  God's message of love radiated in this book and seeped to my heart.  It was and is an amazing feeling.  Read this book and you will feel it too.

Moving, truthful, and empowering ..period.

Footnote:
*LDS: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints


** Accept the Truth | Deny the Truth
Accept the Lie | Pharisees | Egoists
Deny the Lie | Disciples | Nihilists


Jinky is Reading

[L_manning · Rating 5 out of 5]

As members of the LDS church, we often get caught up in the idea that we are "special." We take pride in the truth that you find in the church. However, this idea of being special can be taken in the wrong direction as well. In this book, these ideas are explored. We see how we can balance our pride and our true value as a child of God. This can lead us to become true disciples of Jesus Christ.

I was very intrigued by the premise of this book, and I was not disappointed in the reading of it. I find that our feelings of being special or unique as members of this church can sometimes be off-putting to others. This book helped to clarify that. It separates the truth that we are special and beloved children of God and the lie that we are unique and special in and of ourselves. This lie is really a strong example of pride, and this is where the problem lies. The book separates the different lines of thought into four basic quadrants based on whether they believe the truth of being special children of God and/or believe the lie that we are special in a more worldly way. It then goes through and studies each of these quadrants in depth.

I found myself really reflecting on where I stand. As is mentioned in this book, most people slide through many quadrants at any given time as we work through the things in our lives. I was really inspired by this book. I found myself recognizing that I spend way too much time in one quadrant concentrating on my flaws to excess almost. I need to work to find my unique divine nature while still finding a way to maintain humility in a worldly sense. I found this book answering questions that I didn't even know I had. This book is a fairly quick read, and I highly recommend it. I think that it will help people to see where they are good and where they go wrong, and this will then help us all to become better disciples of Christ.

Book provided for review.

[Heidi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'll say right out that I loved this book. Not only is it informative and enlightening, but I found much to think about here. The authors made many good points about how every human being is special because we are children of God. They go on to discuss how all to many people take this fact and (with Satan's encouragement) turn it into a lie. The lie that some people are more special than others for whatever reason, place/circumstances of birth, wealth, talents, etc. The authors then discuss how people behave based on whether they believe the truth, the lie, or bits of both. The four types they came up with are: the Pharisees, Egoists, Nihilists, and Disciples.

Pharisees believe both the truth and the lie. People in this quadrant believe that human beings are special as children of God, but that the 'chosen' are more special than anyone else.

Egoists believe only the lie, that they are more special because of their own individual circumstances, choices, and talents.

Nihilists believe neither the truth nor the lie and are full of despair and discouragement.

Disciples of course believe the truth and reject the lie. These people are trying to be true followers of Jesus Christ.

The authors go through and discuss each of the above categories. They make clear that few people stay in any one quadrant, most move back and forth throughout our lives. The goal is to become permanent residents of the Disciple quadrant and learn to believe the truth and reject the lie. This is a profound book with great insights and examples into some of the misconceptions that Satan would have us believe. I found myself identifying with many of the things that the authors said. This is the kind of book you can read over and over and still find things to help you improve. I highly recommend this book to those who like me are always striving to be better disciples of Jesus Christ.

[Joseph · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this book was a transformative experience.

Reber and Moody discuss the culture of 'special' that surrounds us today, and though this book is written for Latter-day Saints, who have their own unique culture of 'special,' it seems a book appropriate for everyone. In some respects, Reber and Moody are trying to help readers identify character flaws which otherwise go unnoticed - that is what I liked best about the book. As I read it, I found myself resonating (sometimes to my chagrin) with the various character flaws of the Pharisee, the Egoist, and the Nihilist - all characters who fall prey to the debased forms of our culture of 'special.' In helping me realize these flaws (and, at times, even convicting me), I felt like I was being given a second chance - a chance to turn my thoughts and behaviors back over the Christ.

I'm not sure everyone will have this experience. I should disclose that I spent 3 years teaching beside one of the authors in the same academic department, where we often discussed this book (I, the young grasshopper nursing on the master's wisdom). I heavily anticipated this book and was not disappointed. I'm sure the years I spent discussing this book with the author, then finally reading it, have something to do with my experience. But I am hopeful that most who read it will have a similar experience, and I am certain that at least some of you will.

I have posted a summary and a brief review here: http://blog.marriageeternal.com/?p=394.

[Allison Dunlap · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was eye opening and had a magnificant impact on my understandings! It shed light onto my blind spots, my at times, Pharasiacal, Egoistic and Nihilistic behaviors in my attempt to fill the "void". At times in my life I didn't believe the truth and believed the lie instead and at other points had a combination of beliefs towards both. You really should read this book to understand the Truth and the Lie that all mankind either believes or disbelieves. We all want to be special but we usually go about it the wrong way to feel it. It's so crystal clear to me why I did what I did and how I want to be different now.

[Tanner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great Book by Dr. Reber. It does an excellent job describing why we all fill the voids we do and the methods we use to fill them. The book has great Gospel insights from a psychologist's perspective--which doesn't happen often.

He has a very insightful way of looking at thoughts. I also thought his insights about whether our relationship to God & his principles is a means to an end or an end in and of itself was fascinating. Read it.

[Elle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent book if you are looking for self-improvement. It takes the words of Christ, and adds the psychological side of gospel thinking that isn't common in many religious books. This book will help reveal your weaknesses but also provide the means to improving yourself. Excellent read, great examples, a well written book.

[Janet · Rating 4 out of 5]

Whoa....I'm so impressed with what I learned from this book. I gained many new insights. I hope I can change the things in my life that need improving.