Why Can't I Get My Kids to Behave?

by Joey Link, Carla Link

Do you want to know how you can get your kids to do their chores? Do you want to stop lecturing, reminding and nagging your kids? Are you wondering if it is worth it to discipline your kids when they won’t stay in a chair for a time-out? Joey and Carla Link reach beyond typical parenting advice to give you honest understanding, encouragement and practical steps that work to get obedient children. They Why parents can’t get their kids to behave What obedience is What obedience is not How to get your kids to obey Help for single parents “Have you ever wanted an instruction manual for parenting? Look no further; this is the book you’ve been waiting for. With refreshing honesty and practical instruction, Joey and Carla Link have put together a great resource for parents. If you have kids, you need this book.” - Jill Savage, founder and CEO of Hearts at Home and author of Real Moms … Real Jesus “The biblical and practical teaching Joey and Carla Link share is something every parent should read. It has given us clear expectations—what we as parents can require of our kids and what our kids know is expected of them. People are happy to be around our kids instead of being happy when we leave! We are confident this book will be a good beginning for parents, no matter the ages of their children.” - US Representative Bill and Natalie Huizenga, Michigan

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction

162 pages, Paperback

First published November 27, 2012

Reviews

[Becky Pusztai · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read a lot of parenting books over the last 9ish years I have been a mom. But, recently I read one that was not only encouraging to me as an imperfect parent, but also practical for real steps to take to change unwanted behaviors of my children. That was “Why can’t i get my kids to behave?” by Joey & Carla Link. In the past, books have given lofty goals but no real life ways to attain them. I have been told, “let your child make choices all day long so they feel they have control over their days.” But then when there really wasn’t a choice they would lose all self control, and the power struggles would begin all over again. Other books said, “don’t worry about the behaviors, just love them and they will catch on.” But the problem was I was exhausted because of the behaviors that were inappropriate and I was finding it difficult the genuinely show that love because my frustration levels were so high.
But this book was different. Joey and Carla Link, experienced parents of 3 grown children (not to mention a youth pastor and a social worker), give great advice of things to do and not to do. I don’t want to “give away” the whole book so I will share 3 things that helped me and my family the most.
1. Make sure your marriage is priority in front of your children!
2. In chapter 4 of the book titles “What Obedience is Not” they outline many common tactics parents use today that are ineffective. I was using a lot of these things and was still feeling like my kids just didn’t care. Outward actions do not alway reflect heart attitude.
3. Don’t give up! Keep plugging away. Focus on one behavior at a time and work on it.
There is so much I could share about this book that is helpful. But, instead I would recommend you read it for yourself. It is a quick and easy reading book with funny stories and practical steps to take the train your children in the way that they should go. The book can be purchased at www.parentingmadepractical.com, barnes and nobel or amazon

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you find yourself counting to three, putting your kids in time out (one minute each year old!), resorting to spankings for every behavior issue, or just dealing with applying discipline consistently, this is the book for you.

I received this book as a first reads giveaway, and it sat around a few months. I read it over the course of several weeks, slowly integrating parts of what this book has to say about discipline. There are a lot of books on discipline and obedience, but I think this one has some of the most straightforward, sensical advice on the subject. The information is presented conversationally through stories and seems to follow basic, common sense wisdom (which isn't actually so common).

I think the biggest insight for me is that we were already on the right track with this kind of parenting, and just needed a few adjustments to bring our kids into full obedience. I think the concept of pain bringing obedience is an obvious one (for anyone who's trained animals, or themselves been trained at anything), but this goes beyond spankings and time outs. I really like the concept of taking things away to match the particular disobedience.

Overall, I think this is an excellent book to give parents of any type of child. Ours are not particularly challenging, but the idea of complete obedience is definitely where we want our children to be. I think the only thing I wish it had were more examples of how to take stuff away, as I can't always come up with good options for that. But it just requires me to get a bit more creative.

As an aside, I think this would also make a great video, or video series. We were big fans of Dr. Karp's Happiest Baby/Toddler on the Block videos and think this would be a perfect companion to those, just for older kids.

[Cheryl Erdman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Conscience, character, compassion-- plus a work ethic! Are there any parents who would not choose these qualities for their children?
Using tried and true approaches-- "field tested" with their own children-- Joey and Carla Link recommend practical, daily tools for teaching children to comply, reflect, and grow in maturity and wisdom. Their parenting tools are best used with prayer, and the Links' approaches are not necessarily easy. The tools require time, thought, patience and regular communication between spouses. (The authors also offer tips for single-parent families.) Nonetheless, testimonies from members of the Links' parenting classes suggest the fruits: enjoyable young people growing up in happy families.
While the book would be a nice gift for baby showers and new parents, the principles in the book are gifts to all parents, plus their children and future grandchildren.
The world needs more people raised with conscience and character!

[Laura Loewen · Rating 5 out of 5]

While my husband was away internationally for work, I KNEW I had to be consistent with our three children (ages 7 months, 2 years and 4 years) - specifically with the older two! I am thankful for the great timing of reading "Why Can't I Get My Kids To Behave", as it reminded me of some foundational parenting skills I already knew and gave me other hands-on, super-practical ideas to implement while my husband was away. I'd say this book was a part in keeping my sanity for those 10 days as a "single mom". Now that my husband is back from his trip, we have discussed several ideas presented in the book and are moving forward with some of the mentioned parenting principles and have seen changes in our kids already! Such a quick, easy read. You won't regret reading this one!

[Kristy Swaim · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must have for parents. It is encouraging and practical. I will be putting the stuff into practice ASAP. It is a quick easy read with practical instructions. If you are a parent that threatens and repeats with no follow through, this will help.

[Rebekah · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐️

There were some really good suggestions in this book - I liked all the practical applications. However, some of the suggestions fell a little flat, or maybe they just didn’t articulate it clearly? Some paragraphs left me wondering what they meant and how I (as a parent) should apply it.

There were a couple things in the book that made me raise my eyebrows (mainly the fact that the husband took the wife away from her 6 month old baby overnight - without telling her that was the plan. Yeah, I wouldn’t be a happy either!). I’m all for prioritizing marriage while raising kids, but that didn’t sit well with me as a mama.

Also, there were a lot of typos in this book. A really good editor could have helped a lot with grammar and also with explaining some things more clearly.

[Yamato · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book was a very quick read and provided several good advice. Like other parenting books, lots of focus on how to discipline. The need for consistency was also a great reminder for me, and to make sure we put the ball in the child's court when it comes to making things right. We don't decide anything for them, we just offer them the consequences of their actions and let them choose. Sounds very simple and no need to get upset at anything.... so hard to execute all day everyday.

The toolbox items were good reminders: routine and consequence - taking away what your child misused,

[Toyin Oshodi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great principles

I have often struggled with teaching my kids to obey. This book has taught me so much and I can see the progress starting to unravel. I hope it does the same for you too

[Lindsey · Rating 3 out of 5]

A lot of good reminders, but at times, more extreme than I would take it.

[Elizabeth Plumberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

This should be required reading for all parents! They should read it every year (at least!) until their children are grown. Joey and Carla Link write in a down-to-earth, conversational way. They clearly lay out the goals of parenting and how to get there. Generously infused with practical examples, how-to's and testimony they back-up what they say with solid principles from God's word. Their suggested methods are not fancy, clever tricks, but tried and true ways to get to the heart of the matter so that children will mature and grow to be moral and responsible adults from the inside out. I like that they tell parents not only what tools to put into their parenting toolbox, but also what should stay out. As a bonus there is a chapter on helping parents work together to be unified in their parenting as well as a challenge to make their marriage a priority...something often overlooked in parenting books. I especially liked the list of ways to "fight fair" with your spouse. The Links never come across as having done it all perfectly, but they are real people who have gained wisdom from godly teaching, mentors and sometimes learning things the hard way through their own and others' experiences. They have truly practiced what they preach and they have finished well. This book will encourage you and challenge you to keep going and not to lose heart in raising your children and when you are done reading it you will feel equipped to do the task.

[Jay French · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was quite a short book that suggests a way to raise children to behave. The key component suggested is obedience - kids immediately acknowledge a parent's call to them and come to the parent. Ah, so that's what we've been missing. My kids are teens and we didn't demand this behavior, which, according to this book, might have led them to misbehave. I can see a kind of logic here. The book does have a few pages specifically aimed at older kids, which was what I was looking for. It seems that determining powerful consequences have always been the hard part with our children. I didn't get anything really new from this book on that subject. Overall, this book provides a starting point for raising compliant children in a strong, Christian way. The book felt practical and Midwestern, with center of the US values and examples from military families. And it's a quick read.

I won this book on Goodreads First Reads program.

[Laura O'Connor · Rating 4 out of 5]

So far very happy with this book and the principals it has set out on dealing with misbehaviour in kids. So many times did it describe my children and I can clearly see many areas of improvement that are needed in the way we parent. I really liked the fact that it had clear examples of consequences etc. I hate vague parenting books. Now the next part is trying out what I have learned!

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you, Joey and Carla Link!! This book is a wonderful resource for any parent. It's written in a format that is easy to understand with lots of practical examples. Anyone should be able to read it and apply it in their home. I will be recommending this book and giving it away for years to come.

[Hannah Glashauckas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful guide to parenting

This book has spoken volumes to me. I desperately needed the tools I found inside for my two young boys to help shape them into wonderful and obedient children.