Dogma of Rufus: A Canine Guide to Eating, Sleeping, Digging, Slobbering, Scratching, and Surviving with Humans

by Joey Arnstein, Larry Arnstein, Zack Arnstein

So, you’ve been ripped out from your mother’s paws and taken in by a strange family of humans that has kids who insist on flapping your floppy ears and dressing you up like a ladybug. These new human-folk are trying to “teach” you things, like sitting or not ripping apart their fun-looking shoes, and you might start to think you should try to “obey.” But I know better; I’ve been around the block and peed on most parts of it. Puppies like you need my—wait, somebody just walked in with a hamburger. Gotta check this out.

Ok, back now. Anyway, to survive in this world filled with brown-clad fools delivering packages and leashes, you need my guide to show you what’s what in this dog-eat-dog world of ours. Like dog beds; your human might try to force you to sleep in one of these, but with my sly techniques I can show you how to weasel your way into their clean, fresh-smelling king-sized bed, or even stretch yourself out and have it all to yourself. Those imbeciles might think they are your owner, but you’ll show them who really owns who armed with knowledge on these

- Advanced barking—how loud and annoying can you go?

- Cars—catch your Moby Dick

- Licking—what, where, when, and why

- Biting—ask questions later

- Welcoming guests—try not to hyperventilate

- And much more!

Communicating with humans can be difficult, as they are not very smart, but they give you things and throw you balls, so you might as well try to amuse them.

Genres: Humor, Animals, Dogs

304 pages, Hardcover

First published July 1, 2013

Reviews

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is incredibly witty and completely embodies the mindset of what I would think a dog would have about life. Very light-hearted and encourages humans to not take life too seriously and think more like a dog, who enjoys the simple pleasures of life each and every day. LOVED it!!

[Reading Fury · Rating 4 out of 5]

The four stars is appropriate to the specific genre: easy, silly reading when needing a break from heavy literature--this should be an actual shelf at Barnes and Noble. Perhaps it could be labeled "Eases headaches and gives lots of laughs." Rufus "writes" his book in the form of lessons for young puppies wanting to learn the ins and outs of doghood. There are a great many things pups need to know, many focused on food. There is an art to the "poor starving me" look. At times, the style of jokes became a little repetitive, and the human authors might have tried a little harder with photographs (stock internet photos didn't necessarily lend personalization or depth to a described lesson). But Rufus is wise and lovable. The book doesn't have the richness or depth of books about animals, such as James Herriot's, but there were some laugh out loud moments. This is a fluffy fun read that I finished in two days.

[Donna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious

A very funny book that makes you think about the way that dogs see the world and us. I really loved the dog haikus! Hilarious and I’d highly recommend it for all dog lovers.

[Sally-Ann Palcovich · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fun book that gave me new thoughts about my dog's behavior.

[Terri Chapin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very funny! A thoroughly enjoyable read!

[Sara Goldenberg · Rating 2 out of 5]

Fun, cute book with a lot of doggie behaviour explained! And the pictures !!!!!

[Christyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Dogma of Rufus was entertaining, and witty sharing Rufus' thoughts on life, humans and a number of other things. It's a light-hearted, amusing book that can be read all at once or over a period of time. There are quite a few pictures accompanying the text - which were also enjoyable. Not quite as laugh out loud funny as I thought it would be - it was still amusing and likable enough. There are also some all-too-true observations about us humans (which amused me to no end - because they are true).

[Beverly · Rating 3 out of 5]

This how-to guide, aimed at younger canines, offers a collection of wisdom passed down through the years from dog to dog. These ideas should help the dog reader lead “a more meaningful dog life” and help humans lead “less pathetic” ones. While the premise is cute, the book does not hold up to its' promise of humor.

[Terry · Rating 2 out of 5]

Things Your Dog Doesn't Want You to Know was way better.

[Jackie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is too cute for words! Rufus is indeed a well of wisdom and hilarious observation of us "humans."

[Dee · Rating 2 out of 5]

humorous view of world from dog's point of view