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Divorce: Think Financially, Not Emotionally® What Women Need to Know About Securing Their Financial Future Before, During and After Divorce
UPDATED 2020 VERSION. Divorce is an emotional rollercoaster. And if you’re a woman going through a divorce, you may not be thinking about financial matters, such as how your assets might get divided, tax liabilities, and what your living expenses might be ten years from now. But, here’s the the decisions you make both before and during your divorce will directly impact the rest of your life, for better or for worse. Thinking financially is not always easy. But, it is possible, especially if you have some help. Anyone, no matter how savvy, can benefit from expert advice when she is crossing through treacherous and unfamiliar territory. In this guidebook, you will learn how to . . . Shore up your financial position so you enter the divorce process prepared; Build a top-notch divorce team; Negotiate alimony; Determine if your husband is hiding assets; Protect your business, intellectual property, and personal assets; Deal with pensions plans, 401Ks, and other retirement accounts;. . . and much more. Begin your single life knowing that you have made the thoughtful decisions required to help establish your long-term financial security. Think Financially, Not Emotionally® as you look ahead to a bright future for yourself and your children. Fifty percent of all profits from the sale of each book will be donated to the Bedrock Divorce Fund for Abused Women, Inc., a 501(c)(3) nonprofit charity whose mission is to help female victims of domestic abuse and the organizations that support them.
- GenresNonfictionFinance
213 pages, Paperback
First published September 22, 2012
4 people are currently reading
28 people want to read
About the author
Jeffrey A. Landers
12 books2 followersJeffrey A. Landers is President & Founder of Bedrock Divorce Advisors, a divorce financial strategy firm which exclusively advises affluent women throughout the United States before, during & after divorce. He assists women & their divorce attorneys with deciding on the most advantageous way to divide marital assets & enables them to negotiate more favorable settlements, especially when there are complicated financial issues.
We analyze both the short & long-term financial implications of various divorce settlement options in order to help our clients secure their financial future. In other words, will they be financially OK now & in the future?
For example, how should the various marital assets be divided - the house(s), rental property, retirement & pension plans, stock options, brokerage accounts & closely held businesses? How much alimony should be paid & for how long?
Jeff's new book, Divorce: Think Financially, Not Emotionally What Women Need To Know About Securing Their Financial Future Before, During, And After Divorce is available at Amazon.com.
He is donating 50% of all book profits to the Bedrock Divorce Fund for Abused Women, Inc., a 501(c)(3) nonprofit charity whose mission is to help female victims of domestic abuse & the organizations that support them.
Our sister company, Bedrock Wealth Management, helps post-divorced women once their divorce has been finalized. Our goal is to help make each client’s divorce settlement last as long as possible while achieving her various goals & objectives.
Jeff received his BA degree from Columbia University & studied law at Pace University School of Law. Jeff writes the weekly “Divorce Dollars and Sense” blog for Forbes.com & has authored multiple articles on divorce for The Huffington Post, More.com, Lawyers.com & many others.
He has served as an expert source regarding the financial impact of divorce on affluent women for CBS TV News, the Wall Street Journal, Dow Jones, Smart Money, Inc.com & others.
We analyze both the short & long-term financial implications of various divorce settlement options in order to help our clients secure their financial future. In other words, will they be financially OK now & in the future?
For example, how should the various marital assets be divided - the house(s), rental property, retirement & pension plans, stock options, brokerage accounts & closely held businesses? How much alimony should be paid & for how long?
Jeff's new book, Divorce: Think Financially, Not Emotionally What Women Need To Know About Securing Their Financial Future Before, During, And After Divorce is available at Amazon.com.
He is donating 50% of all book profits to the Bedrock Divorce Fund for Abused Women, Inc., a 501(c)(3) nonprofit charity whose mission is to help female victims of domestic abuse & the organizations that support them.
Our sister company, Bedrock Wealth Management, helps post-divorced women once their divorce has been finalized. Our goal is to help make each client’s divorce settlement last as long as possible while achieving her various goals & objectives.
Jeff received his BA degree from Columbia University & studied law at Pace University School of Law. Jeff writes the weekly “Divorce Dollars and Sense” blog for Forbes.com & has authored multiple articles on divorce for The Huffington Post, More.com, Lawyers.com & many others.
He has served as an expert source regarding the financial impact of divorce on affluent women for CBS TV News, the Wall Street Journal, Dow Jones, Smart Money, Inc.com & others.
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
June 26, 2013
If you are considering a divorce or are already in the process this is a book that all women should read.
Where many other books have fallen short in my opinion, is that they discuss divorce from a rather impersonal and general standpoint. This book is tailored to women and written from a perspective that clarifies the entire process, but also has a special focus on the future outcome of financial health.
With so much focus on the emotional aspect of divorce, it was about time someone considered highlighting the other unpleasant and yet necessary portions of the process. The survival of the parties involved depends upon such reality being discussed and understood.
This book guides the reader step-by-step through the process of divorce and how to become independent from your former spouse. One of the things that impressed me the most about this book, is that it is broken down into easily navigated sections as well as language that anyone can understand. Each part is explained fully and it is clear that the author is knowledgeable in his chosen subject matter.
Divorce is obviously, not a fun issue to deal with, but this book covers the realities in a way that may help women to understand it is not the end of the world.
I would certainly recommend this to anyone in said situation. Very well written and informative.
Where many other books have fallen short in my opinion, is that they discuss divorce from a rather impersonal and general standpoint. This book is tailored to women and written from a perspective that clarifies the entire process, but also has a special focus on the future outcome of financial health.
With so much focus on the emotional aspect of divorce, it was about time someone considered highlighting the other unpleasant and yet necessary portions of the process. The survival of the parties involved depends upon such reality being discussed and understood.
This book guides the reader step-by-step through the process of divorce and how to become independent from your former spouse. One of the things that impressed me the most about this book, is that it is broken down into easily navigated sections as well as language that anyone can understand. Each part is explained fully and it is clear that the author is knowledgeable in his chosen subject matter.
Divorce is obviously, not a fun issue to deal with, but this book covers the realities in a way that may help women to understand it is not the end of the world.
I would certainly recommend this to anyone in said situation. Very well written and informative.
April 24, 2013
Divorce: Think Financially, Not Emotionally
Jeffrey A. Landers
Anyone that thinks divorce is a piece of cake, no sweat or not a problem has either taken something to calm their nerves, is living in world of make believe or not facing reality. Divorce is difficult but the end result is what you make of it and how you work to make sure that you and your children come out financially sound. Anger, loss, betrayal, disloyalties, hate, fear, panic are just some of the emotions and feelings you might feel just learning that your spouse has decided to let’s say move on with his life. But, there is help, hope and definitely many support systems out there that a smart, savvy and well-prepared woman can avail herself of before falling down a deep dark pit known as financial disaster. Many women fall into several different traps when they begin the process of landing on their feet and finding their way to financial freedom and independence.
When deciding that this is your only route you need to think with your head and your mind and leave those emotions of anger, helplessness, despair and rage somewhere else. You need to be informed, you need to have the right team of experts handling your case and you need to read page 5 of this great resource to help you create a checklist of what you need to know from the start. Your goal or mission and you do choose to accept it is to make sure that when all is said and done you go not remain in this Divorce Rollercoaster or take an elevator ride that goes up and down getting you nowhere but emerge debt free, emotionally sound and of course with your finances in tact. But, first warnings that you must heed first. When driving your car you know that the yield or stop sign means you need to stop or take notice of another car allowing them to go first or they have to yield the right of way. No one is going to yield the right of way in a divorce so you need to charge ahead on your own but first: STOP: LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND THE FOLLOWING: If Uncle Ned or Aunt Sally suggests that cousin Tim do your finances thank them and cordially decline. If Nora Jean your best friend has divorce advice for you on how to handle your ex-husband thank her but do not act on what she says. Author Jeffrey A. Landers, CDFA states three major reasons whey you need to not heed the advice of friends and relatives. First, every woman’s divorce is different. Second, “A little knowledge can be very dangerous,” and third you can find the professional help you need. Numbers one and two you can read the explanations for yourself but I will focus on number three. You need to find a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst who is trained to handle and understand the financial aspects of divorce. The author then elaborates on his training and why relatives and friends would not be the right ones enlists in this matter even if they happen to be CPA’s or financial planners. Added in he adds a Reminder at the end of the chapter telling readers that divorce financial advisors are the most qualified and knowledgeable to handle your case and deal with the good you might say and the bad. An important point that many people forget and all too often I have seen on the social networks and that is comments, statements, pictures, remarks, facebook updates, tweets, blogs and photos that will make you look bad. Watching your words, not putting photos of you out with the girls in a bar or a club would show that you are using your mind and not venting your anger in public. Emails, texts and other forms of communication are divorce lawyers you might say chocolate treat that they eat up, swallow and savor at your expense. So, let’s talk divorce. Not that hard and you see it really is just a word you have to fully understand not just because it means a disbanded marriage but what the words inner most thoughts and feelings express and how they will affect you.
There are six financial steps that the author explains in chapter three that are vital, crucial and needed to Prepare for divorce. Step One: Collect financial documents. Step Two: Check Your Credit Report. Step Three: Research Divorce Professionals, Step Five: Really important so listen carefully: Open New Accounts in Your Name and finally Establish Private Communication. What that means is take out a post office box so that your mail comes to a different place and your soon to be ex cannot get his hands on it. Change your mobile phone number, passwords and pins to insure that your privacy and funds are not invaded. Be aware of what he is doing and by getting your credit report you will know if he is using your name, social security number or accounts for himself or maybe a hidden girlfriend.
Chapter Four highlights how to get organized and the ball rolling in your direction of favor. After you collect your financial documents you need to have a Lifestyle Analysis Prepared, which “establishes your standard of living,” during the time you were married. In other words it is the day-to-day living expenses incurred during your marriage and the spending habits of both you and your spouse. Monitoring your spending is vital and secure funds for professional fees and once again I cannot impress this upon you too much: Get A Copy of Your Credit Report. Next, the author explains Legal matters. Chapter Five is really self-explanatory where the author explains the four divorce alternatives. I will let you read that for yourself. Chapter 6 is quite vital, compelling and will set you on the right road to divorce and financial success. You need four Key Players on your Divorce Team: Matrimonial/Family Law Attorney, Divorce Financial Planner, forensic account, a valuation expert and one more for homeowners or proper owners: A real estate appraiser. But, do not feel that there is something wrong with you if you or your children need to speak to a therapist or counselor. But, the most vital member of the team is YOU! Chapter 7 focuses on protecting your credit followed by a detailed explanation of equitable distribution and community property. First, you need to learn whether you live in a community property state or equitable distribution state and the definitions are clear and the examples quite detailed. A really interesting chapter that will save you much grief and might make things easier for you to understand is what is the difference between separate vs. marital property detailed in Chapter 9 and Chapter 10 which explains the importance of understanding and knowing your exact date of separation and how it plays in your divorce proceedings. Valuation Dates: in a divorce that is the “point in time when that dollar value is assigned. Divorce requires “the division of all marital assets.” This is explained in detail and easily understood in Chapter 11. Did you ever hear the terms: MINE, HIS, OURS: Well chapter 12 Active vs. Passive Appreciation will explain that more fully. Let me explain further: An asset can increase in value in one of two ways: Actively or passively. Actively: as a result of actions by the owner of the asset or passively as a result of change in the market. The rules, how it applies in equitable distribution states, what the judge must find and how this affects your assets is explained in detail in this chapter.
Chapter 13 is crucial as it discusses whether you should keep your house. Several questions come into play: Why you are interested in keeping the house? Can you afford to keep it? Have you fully considered the truth worth of the house vs. other assets? Be careful when it comes to retirement accounts and pension and whether your spouse is entitled to a part of it or a percentage. Chapter 14 explains that retirement funds added during your marriage are considered marital property. Division of 401 K’s and pension require a Qualified Domestic Relations Order. A QDRO specialist will help you avoid mistakes. Once again you can read about alimony yourself and health, life and social security in chapters 15 and 16. Protecting your business if the bulk of Chapter 17.
Special topics makes up Part two and the first is eight underhanded tactics husbands use during divorce and the author explains each one, gives examples and how to protect yourself. Next, eight places husbands hide assets like a safety deposit box, overpaying the IRS or creditors or even transferring stock. So, be vigilant and stay alert. Let’s hope things do not get out of hand and the information in Chapter 21 will be just that information dealing with restraining orders. How to Divorce Proof your Business and Post and Prenups and finally the seven important steps for Financial Stability After Divorce: Update your accounts, develop a comprehensive financial plan, build your credit and seek help from a financial advisor. You guessed it there are more but you need to learn what they are for yourself in order to understand how to get to be financially stable on your own. Appendix A has your financial checklist and the author is the founder of Bedrock Divorce Advisors and works exclusively with women. Author Jeffrey A. Landers presents a clear, concise, easy to understand way for women to find their way to financial stability during and after a divorce. This is a great resource for everyone to read. I would even say that before young couples marry they might want to read this book to understand the seriousness of marriage and what might happen if their marriage winds up in divorce. One great book that is a definite must read.
Fran Lewis: reviewer
Jeffrey A. Landers
Anyone that thinks divorce is a piece of cake, no sweat or not a problem has either taken something to calm their nerves, is living in world of make believe or not facing reality. Divorce is difficult but the end result is what you make of it and how you work to make sure that you and your children come out financially sound. Anger, loss, betrayal, disloyalties, hate, fear, panic are just some of the emotions and feelings you might feel just learning that your spouse has decided to let’s say move on with his life. But, there is help, hope and definitely many support systems out there that a smart, savvy and well-prepared woman can avail herself of before falling down a deep dark pit known as financial disaster. Many women fall into several different traps when they begin the process of landing on their feet and finding their way to financial freedom and independence.
When deciding that this is your only route you need to think with your head and your mind and leave those emotions of anger, helplessness, despair and rage somewhere else. You need to be informed, you need to have the right team of experts handling your case and you need to read page 5 of this great resource to help you create a checklist of what you need to know from the start. Your goal or mission and you do choose to accept it is to make sure that when all is said and done you go not remain in this Divorce Rollercoaster or take an elevator ride that goes up and down getting you nowhere but emerge debt free, emotionally sound and of course with your finances in tact. But, first warnings that you must heed first. When driving your car you know that the yield or stop sign means you need to stop or take notice of another car allowing them to go first or they have to yield the right of way. No one is going to yield the right of way in a divorce so you need to charge ahead on your own but first: STOP: LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND THE FOLLOWING: If Uncle Ned or Aunt Sally suggests that cousin Tim do your finances thank them and cordially decline. If Nora Jean your best friend has divorce advice for you on how to handle your ex-husband thank her but do not act on what she says. Author Jeffrey A. Landers, CDFA states three major reasons whey you need to not heed the advice of friends and relatives. First, every woman’s divorce is different. Second, “A little knowledge can be very dangerous,” and third you can find the professional help you need. Numbers one and two you can read the explanations for yourself but I will focus on number three. You need to find a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst who is trained to handle and understand the financial aspects of divorce. The author then elaborates on his training and why relatives and friends would not be the right ones enlists in this matter even if they happen to be CPA’s or financial planners. Added in he adds a Reminder at the end of the chapter telling readers that divorce financial advisors are the most qualified and knowledgeable to handle your case and deal with the good you might say and the bad. An important point that many people forget and all too often I have seen on the social networks and that is comments, statements, pictures, remarks, facebook updates, tweets, blogs and photos that will make you look bad. Watching your words, not putting photos of you out with the girls in a bar or a club would show that you are using your mind and not venting your anger in public. Emails, texts and other forms of communication are divorce lawyers you might say chocolate treat that they eat up, swallow and savor at your expense. So, let’s talk divorce. Not that hard and you see it really is just a word you have to fully understand not just because it means a disbanded marriage but what the words inner most thoughts and feelings express and how they will affect you.
There are six financial steps that the author explains in chapter three that are vital, crucial and needed to Prepare for divorce. Step One: Collect financial documents. Step Two: Check Your Credit Report. Step Three: Research Divorce Professionals, Step Five: Really important so listen carefully: Open New Accounts in Your Name and finally Establish Private Communication. What that means is take out a post office box so that your mail comes to a different place and your soon to be ex cannot get his hands on it. Change your mobile phone number, passwords and pins to insure that your privacy and funds are not invaded. Be aware of what he is doing and by getting your credit report you will know if he is using your name, social security number or accounts for himself or maybe a hidden girlfriend.
Chapter Four highlights how to get organized and the ball rolling in your direction of favor. After you collect your financial documents you need to have a Lifestyle Analysis Prepared, which “establishes your standard of living,” during the time you were married. In other words it is the day-to-day living expenses incurred during your marriage and the spending habits of both you and your spouse. Monitoring your spending is vital and secure funds for professional fees and once again I cannot impress this upon you too much: Get A Copy of Your Credit Report. Next, the author explains Legal matters. Chapter Five is really self-explanatory where the author explains the four divorce alternatives. I will let you read that for yourself. Chapter 6 is quite vital, compelling and will set you on the right road to divorce and financial success. You need four Key Players on your Divorce Team: Matrimonial/Family Law Attorney, Divorce Financial Planner, forensic account, a valuation expert and one more for homeowners or proper owners: A real estate appraiser. But, do not feel that there is something wrong with you if you or your children need to speak to a therapist or counselor. But, the most vital member of the team is YOU! Chapter 7 focuses on protecting your credit followed by a detailed explanation of equitable distribution and community property. First, you need to learn whether you live in a community property state or equitable distribution state and the definitions are clear and the examples quite detailed. A really interesting chapter that will save you much grief and might make things easier for you to understand is what is the difference between separate vs. marital property detailed in Chapter 9 and Chapter 10 which explains the importance of understanding and knowing your exact date of separation and how it plays in your divorce proceedings. Valuation Dates: in a divorce that is the “point in time when that dollar value is assigned. Divorce requires “the division of all marital assets.” This is explained in detail and easily understood in Chapter 11. Did you ever hear the terms: MINE, HIS, OURS: Well chapter 12 Active vs. Passive Appreciation will explain that more fully. Let me explain further: An asset can increase in value in one of two ways: Actively or passively. Actively: as a result of actions by the owner of the asset or passively as a result of change in the market. The rules, how it applies in equitable distribution states, what the judge must find and how this affects your assets is explained in detail in this chapter.
Chapter 13 is crucial as it discusses whether you should keep your house. Several questions come into play: Why you are interested in keeping the house? Can you afford to keep it? Have you fully considered the truth worth of the house vs. other assets? Be careful when it comes to retirement accounts and pension and whether your spouse is entitled to a part of it or a percentage. Chapter 14 explains that retirement funds added during your marriage are considered marital property. Division of 401 K’s and pension require a Qualified Domestic Relations Order. A QDRO specialist will help you avoid mistakes. Once again you can read about alimony yourself and health, life and social security in chapters 15 and 16. Protecting your business if the bulk of Chapter 17.
Special topics makes up Part two and the first is eight underhanded tactics husbands use during divorce and the author explains each one, gives examples and how to protect yourself. Next, eight places husbands hide assets like a safety deposit box, overpaying the IRS or creditors or even transferring stock. So, be vigilant and stay alert. Let’s hope things do not get out of hand and the information in Chapter 21 will be just that information dealing with restraining orders. How to Divorce Proof your Business and Post and Prenups and finally the seven important steps for Financial Stability After Divorce: Update your accounts, develop a comprehensive financial plan, build your credit and seek help from a financial advisor. You guessed it there are more but you need to learn what they are for yourself in order to understand how to get to be financially stable on your own. Appendix A has your financial checklist and the author is the founder of Bedrock Divorce Advisors and works exclusively with women. Author Jeffrey A. Landers presents a clear, concise, easy to understand way for women to find their way to financial stability during and after a divorce. This is a great resource for everyone to read. I would even say that before young couples marry they might want to read this book to understand the seriousness of marriage and what might happen if their marriage winds up in divorce. One great book that is a definite must read.
Fran Lewis: reviewer
April 22, 2013
(4.5)
I don't see divorce in my future but that's probably how it was for most divorced people. It's just not the goal of marriage. But it happens and this book had concise information and suggestions on how a woman can be an advocate for her financial wellbeing should she come to that bridge by arming herself with a proper legal team. The author illustrated the American legal system in regards to the world of divorce, the manipulations that may arise in the process, and options that are important to recognize. He emphasized that thinking financially, not emotionally should be the mindset throughout the course including before marriage as well as looking ahead after the dissolution.
This was well outlined and therefore flowed well. I like the "Reminder", "Hot Tip", and "Legal Matters" after each chapter, although it opened up for repetition. That irked me a bit yet in another light, it served as emphasis. Moreover, the checklist in the end was a nice touch. Overall, this book kept my attention and I came out of the read equipped with a wealth of constructive data about some key legal aspects of divorce. I frequently found myself cry out in my thoughts, “That’s good to know!”. Also, that it was "good to know" even if the reader isn’t going through a divorce. The old adage of knowledge is power can surely apply here, hence this is an excellent reference book.
Well done, Mr. Landers! Thank you for sharing your expertise. I pray never to walk to your office for your services though. :)
Jinky is Reading
I don't see divorce in my future but that's probably how it was for most divorced people. It's just not the goal of marriage. But it happens and this book had concise information and suggestions on how a woman can be an advocate for her financial wellbeing should she come to that bridge by arming herself with a proper legal team. The author illustrated the American legal system in regards to the world of divorce, the manipulations that may arise in the process, and options that are important to recognize. He emphasized that thinking financially, not emotionally should be the mindset throughout the course including before marriage as well as looking ahead after the dissolution.
This was well outlined and therefore flowed well. I like the "Reminder", "Hot Tip", and "Legal Matters" after each chapter, although it opened up for repetition. That irked me a bit yet in another light, it served as emphasis. Moreover, the checklist in the end was a nice touch. Overall, this book kept my attention and I came out of the read equipped with a wealth of constructive data about some key legal aspects of divorce. I frequently found myself cry out in my thoughts, “That’s good to know!”. Also, that it was "good to know" even if the reader isn’t going through a divorce. The old adage of knowledge is power can surely apply here, hence this is an excellent reference book.
Well done, Mr. Landers! Thank you for sharing your expertise. I pray never to walk to your office for your services though. :)
Jinky is Reading
June 18, 2013
This is an amazing book! I am lucky that I am not in the situation where I need to use all of the advice presented, but if you are ladies, then this is the book you need to pick up to make sure you are treated fairly in the divorce proceedings. The chapters are laid out well with step by step instructions on things you need to do to protect yourself. There is even a checklist in the back of the book to help you gather all of the documents you need to share with your attorney. There are reminders and tips at the end of each chapter to help you out as well.
The book isn't long, less than 200 pages, but well worth picking up and reading if you do not know where to start. We give this book 5 paws and hope we never have to use the advice given by Mr. Landers.
Originally reviewed for StoreyBookReviews.com and a copy was provided to me in exchange for an honest review.
The book isn't long, less than 200 pages, but well worth picking up and reading if you do not know where to start. We give this book 5 paws and hope we never have to use the advice given by Mr. Landers.
Originally reviewed for StoreyBookReviews.com and a copy was provided to me in exchange for an honest review.
July 7, 2014
Even though I've gone through a divorce (twice), there are topics and circumstances covered in this book that I never even considered. I actually did my divorce myself both times (which Mr. Landers highly suggests against), and would have greatly benefited from the information in this book. Whether you're doing your own divorce or hiring professionals; even if you haven't filed any paperwork, if you're just considering that you may need to get a divorce, you should definitely still check out this book– I believe that it would be helpful at pretty much any stage of a divorce, but the earlier you educate yourself, the better off you'll be.
June 10, 2013
One thing to say ... I wish I had this book about a year ago. It would have helped me tremendously. As I was reading through this book, I kept saying to myself, I should have done that. Jeffrey gave very sound advice on how to make it through a divorce and come out financially ahead. It was like having a personal coach in your corner, giving you advice and encouraging you. I highly recommend this book for all women going through divorce. I give it 5 stars.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews