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The Ball Washer
An interesting short story has to be equal parts confession, exultation and suicide note. The writer has to be arrogant and insecure, brimming with joy and despair, able to see hope and hopelessness in everything and, before he can claim to be honest, has to be comfortable lying his ass off.
This newest collection of Lance Manion short stories strives for all of the above and is sure to include something to entertain, inspire and offend everyone. His writing has been called demented, hilarious, quirky and well outside the mainstream. The author guarantees that if this isn't the best book you've ever read he will send you a sincere apology along with a short explanation of why sometimes it is necessary to exaggerate claims about how good a book is in order to have someone download it.
Funny, and at times thought-provoking, "The Ball Washer" is definitely not for the faint of heart. Read at your own risk.
This newest collection of Lance Manion short stories strives for all of the above and is sure to include something to entertain, inspire and offend everyone. His writing has been called demented, hilarious, quirky and well outside the mainstream. The author guarantees that if this isn't the best book you've ever read he will send you a sincere apology along with a short explanation of why sometimes it is necessary to exaggerate claims about how good a book is in order to have someone download it.
Funny, and at times thought-provoking, "The Ball Washer" is definitely not for the faint of heart. Read at your own risk.
237 pages, ebook
First published October 11, 2012
2 people are currently reading
21 people want to read
About the author
Lance Manion
28 books3 followersLance Manion was not born a poor black child. That was Navin R. Johnson. Neither was he born to run, to be wild and the last thing he needs is to be born again. I'm certain his mother would have none of it. and pardon him if he got it right the first time (as did Dennis Miller who I must credit with that line).
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
October 15, 2012
My writing has spoiled me for other authors.
February 20, 2016
When you pick up a free book you really have no reason to complain. You took a risk and now there you are looking at your Kindle or tablet screen in either indifference or anger. The Ball Washer is a collection of flash fiction stories that range from out right hilarity to cringe inducing. There's no middle ground in Manion's collection and that's not a bad thing. He offers no apologies and you shouldn't ask for them because the book is free. It's an opportunity to check out a new writer and if you don't like it well you're not out anything. I had actually read this awhile ago and thought I'd check it out again. Sometimes a book just deserves a second read.
Manion's collection isn't for everyone. Sometimes it's crude, and downright offensive, but not every book released is going to appeal to everyone. It's almost as if he just writes about the first thing that pops into his head. It makes sense when you read a story about a guy who finds random pubic hairs in sinks and realizes that someone is washing their balls in the sink. That's the first story mind you. It doesn't get any easier or less offensive. The thing to remember is that as long as the stories are good it doesn't matter how offensive or crude you are there's also an audience for your work. Manion's style is one of indifference. These are all very short so there's a lot of stories crammed into this collection.
As you read though the length of these stories is what really weighs it down. It just feels too long and sometimes you do hit a clunker of a story. It's expected with flash fiction but overall the good outweigh the bad and you wind up laughing out loud at a man trying out different handicaps for a week. Manion knows that he's never going to be a mainstream author and I don't think he cares as long as he connects with readers who share his sense of humor and don't mind that quite a few of his stories will no doubt offend someone. Regardless this is a freebie that introduces you to the writing of Lance Manion and it's not a bad intro just not for everyone.
Manion's collection isn't for everyone. Sometimes it's crude, and downright offensive, but not every book released is going to appeal to everyone. It's almost as if he just writes about the first thing that pops into his head. It makes sense when you read a story about a guy who finds random pubic hairs in sinks and realizes that someone is washing their balls in the sink. That's the first story mind you. It doesn't get any easier or less offensive. The thing to remember is that as long as the stories are good it doesn't matter how offensive or crude you are there's also an audience for your work. Manion's style is one of indifference. These are all very short so there's a lot of stories crammed into this collection.
As you read though the length of these stories is what really weighs it down. It just feels too long and sometimes you do hit a clunker of a story. It's expected with flash fiction but overall the good outweigh the bad and you wind up laughing out loud at a man trying out different handicaps for a week. Manion knows that he's never going to be a mainstream author and I don't think he cares as long as he connects with readers who share his sense of humor and don't mind that quite a few of his stories will no doubt offend someone. Regardless this is a freebie that introduces you to the writing of Lance Manion and it's not a bad intro just not for everyone.
January 8, 2014
The Ball Washer is a collection of short stories beginning with some lighthearted tales and then delving into very personal, graphic, and sometimes shocking themes. Some stories tell of boys who can erase the universe with paint, and others read like a masturbation recipe.
Not often do I come across a work that I admire, but don't really enjoy. The Ball Washer is that book. As a parent of two boys, I have my fill of off-color jokes and disgusting humor. You can understand why I wouldn't want to read it in a book, or really hear it at all, anywhere. In a home where flatulence passes as music in more than one person's opinion, I just can't enjoy it.
On the other hand, Ball Washer is incredibly well-written and cerebral for all its baseness. The contrast is rather fantastic. Lance takes the very graphic and often embarrassing parts of life and opens them wide for all to see. That is a kind of bravery in writing that not many authors can claim. The tales consist of some choice malarkey as well as a tongue firmly in cheek. A reader will discover such quotes as: "Originating in Kashmir, velvet painting is an ancient technique embraced by early religious leaders, and to this day many early works hang in the Vatican."
My only non-personal criticism for the book is that it seems entirely too long. After six or seven stories, I checked to see how many more stories I had, and found I hadn't even made it halfway through. At 74,000 words it could have easily worked as at least two separate anthologies, in my opinion. When I looked through some other anthologies available online, the only comparably-sized one was an anthology of novellas.
A few epically long sentences appear through the narratives. Nothing in them appeared incorrect; just don't try to read the long ones out loud without first sitting down in case of an oxygen-deprivation nap.
I couldn't finish The Ball Washer, both because of the length and the subject matter. I made it halfway. That doesn't mean it won't have merit for other readers, and one definitely gets plenty of well-written stories for their money. For me it provided TMI, but you just might LOL.
Not often do I come across a work that I admire, but don't really enjoy. The Ball Washer is that book. As a parent of two boys, I have my fill of off-color jokes and disgusting humor. You can understand why I wouldn't want to read it in a book, or really hear it at all, anywhere. In a home where flatulence passes as music in more than one person's opinion, I just can't enjoy it.
On the other hand, Ball Washer is incredibly well-written and cerebral for all its baseness. The contrast is rather fantastic. Lance takes the very graphic and often embarrassing parts of life and opens them wide for all to see. That is a kind of bravery in writing that not many authors can claim. The tales consist of some choice malarkey as well as a tongue firmly in cheek. A reader will discover such quotes as: "Originating in Kashmir, velvet painting is an ancient technique embraced by early religious leaders, and to this day many early works hang in the Vatican."
My only non-personal criticism for the book is that it seems entirely too long. After six or seven stories, I checked to see how many more stories I had, and found I hadn't even made it halfway through. At 74,000 words it could have easily worked as at least two separate anthologies, in my opinion. When I looked through some other anthologies available online, the only comparably-sized one was an anthology of novellas.
A few epically long sentences appear through the narratives. Nothing in them appeared incorrect; just don't try to read the long ones out loud without first sitting down in case of an oxygen-deprivation nap.
I couldn't finish The Ball Washer, both because of the length and the subject matter. I made it halfway. That doesn't mean it won't have merit for other readers, and one definitely gets plenty of well-written stories for their money. For me it provided TMI, but you just might LOL.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews