The Dumb White Husband's Guide to Babies

Dumb White Husband

by Benjamin Wallace

From the moment your wife hands you the stick covered in pee, the world is out to get you. Doctors will ignore you, baby companies will try to take advantage of you, hospitals will try to cripple you and your new child will try to make you sterile.

This everyman’s guide to becoming a father gives you every warning the other books missed and offers advice on how to get from the pregnancy till the end of your baby’s first year. It covers everything from where to hold the stick your wife spent the morning peeing on to ensuring that your baby’s first word is, “Dada.”

There’s even a twin version in case your so much of a man that you knocked up your wife twice at the same time.

Don’t go into fatherhood unprepared. Know what’s coming.

Genres: Humor

164 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 10, 2012

About the author

Benjamin Wallace lives in Dallas, Texas where he complains about the heat—a lot.

Reviews

[Benjamin Wallace]

Yeah I wrote it. But I had to reread it. So that counts.

[Montzalee Wittmann · Rating 5 out of 5]

Watch Your Junk and Other Advice for Expectant Fathers by Benjamin Wallace is a hilarious book that kept me giggling through out the book! So many true things that he twists around to word it so that I had to laugh, giggle, or snicker on every page. I needed this book! Great job! As a woman, I wondered what he would say and it really didn't diss women, much, but is was hilarious! Funny as heck! It was free too, so I was double happy!

[Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Smiles

Made me remember my children's infant and toddler days..I wish someone would have explained the experience to me as it was explained in this book !

[Joe Aymor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilariously Entertaining and Insightful

From the genius who brought you Dumb White Husband, Damien Stockwell, and Post-Apocalyptic Nomadic Warrior, comes the REAL version of what a man should expect when entering into parenthood. Full of sound advice and plenty of laughs, this is sure to please anyone. Take it from me, I'm an uncle of 2 boys and I don't plan to have children, but I loved every single part of this read. I've even witnessed or heard many of these instances happening to my brother. So whether you are looking for a quick read, a good laugh, a new coffee-table book, great gift, or just some helpful insight, definitely pick this up! I'm debating on stocking up on numerous copies of this to hand out along with tons of tiny screwdrivers to expectant fathers. Happy reading you son of a monkey!

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I bought this for my husband shortly after we found out we are expecting. He enjoys reading, but he couldn't stop laughing his way through this book. Once he finished, he highly recommended that I read it too. There were sections of this book that made me laugh out loud. The author seems honest, genuine, and funny. While I am not sure there is still plenty more for us to learn, this was a great start!

[David Blaylock · Rating 3 out of 5]

Glad that all of this is in my rear view mirror.

[Rich · Rating 5 out of 5]

Would recommend...

It's a fun read with some insightful perspective. Even seasoned dads can benefit from reading this book. Good luck dads to be.

[Christopher Fowers · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is funny. I mean funny. If only there was more helpful content. Oh well... Worth the read if for the laughs alone.

[Jim Kaiser · Rating 2 out of 5]

Author thinks he's way to funny. He's funny at first but becomes annoying very quickly. Not a good book for a nervous father to be. It actually made me more nervous.

[William Neri · Rating 3 out of 5]

Entertaining, funny and a quick read.