*Note: Bi folks, be aware that you are completely erased as an option, as in it’s implied that if you enjoy/have s*x with the same gender, then you are automatically no longer interested in another gender and are just gay. A lot of the talk is coming from a place of internalized homophobia/biphobia, but it may still be upsetting.
I was worried about this one. I mean, the set up is two old friends reunite when one is hired by a wife to investigate the other’s cheating ways, and he blackmails the cheater into a kiss and accepting oral s*x from the blackmailer because the blackmailer always loved him and thinks this is the only way to get a hint of the relationship he always wanted with the man he loves (obviously still not okay).
But that premise is dropped quickly (and so is his marriage lol) as the cheater starts getting jealous and pursuing the blackmailer. It becomes increasingly obvious that the cheating guy is an unreliable narrator. He explains all his cheating as someone else’s fault and as him just “going with the flow” and “being easy.” But you later see him flirt up women all the way to bed, and he’s a repeated cheater. This unreliable narrator status is something this mangaka has used before and for the same reason: the character is hiding their real feelings. Usually, I’d call bs because the trope of “the straight guy who just doesn’t know he’s gay yet” is so big in BL, and I definitely still call bs on the erasure of bisexuality as an option. However, this “straight guy” exhibits internalized homophobia and biphobia. He’ll call the former-blackmailer now-partner (?) an “obsessive gay stalker” in his narration while enjoying domestic scenes with him. A nonsexual scene of them bathing and him enjoying getting his hair washed is juxtaposed with narration belittling the gay man as predatory. Other reviews describe their relationship as “a gay guy converting a straight guy,” but that’s just what it reads as if you accept the unreliable narration. This mangaka doesn’t do surface-level stuff like that. The unreliable narrator even calls out this idea by questioning whether he’s just being convinced because he goes with the flow, while admitting that he likes it and wants to treat the other guy well, even if he doesn’t know what to do with those thoughts as a “fully straight guy.”
This even comes to a head in a major moment when he expresses these predatory beliefs about gay men and the implication that he thinks the other guy would r@pe him happily, but the guy calls him out on his bs by saying that he’d only do something like that if that’s the only way the other guy would feel comfortable saying yes (by pretending he doesn’t want it). If unclear, he’s saying that he’d only do that if it was just the pretext the other would need. Like he’d be willing to be called a r@pist by his partner for actually consensual s*x if that’s the only way the other would feel comfortable with his sexuality. The internalized homophobia/biphobia is especially obvious when, in a consensual intimate moment, the “straight guy” gets startled by seeing just how much he looks like he likes being with this guy in the mirror, reflexively pushing the guy off and immediately apologizing when he sees he got hurt by the push. Later, when they come to terms with their relationship and the mirror shows up, the other guy covers his eyes for him, so he’s not triggered. He even pretends to forget about s*x acts they engaged in, only to quickly correct something the other said about it. This is through and through a story about internalized homophobia/biphobia.
However, it’s also a story about messy people. Although the blackmailer, well, blackmails, obsessively loves the other guy, and gets easily jealous, he doesn’t actually stalk the other guy, outside of the initial PI job, unlike what the unreliable narration says, but he does check his search history when he worries he’s cheating. He admits to wanting to have sex with the other guy, but after the blackmail situation is resolved, he doesn’t pursue anything farther than where they’ve gone before until his interest in such intimacy is reciprocated. Whenever the guy outright rejects him, he immediately backs off without doing anything petty. Outside of his still-very-not-okay blackmail, he respects consent quite a bit, which was surprising. He doesn’t really want to do anything the other guy doesn’t want.
The cheater, well, cheats, even on this guy, but it’s clear that he cheats because he wants someone to love him, and the blackmailer calls him out for cheating on his wife at the mere chance that an affair partner loves him more than his wife. He doesn’t understand love and sees working on a relationship as a choice, wherein he’d rather hop to the next person who suggests they love him even a little, all while pushing the blame off himself. He generally doesn’t care to reciprocate unless he gets jealous. However, he also struggles with internalized homophobia/biphobia and will take blame immediately when he unknowingly hurts someone. When he found out that all his college PDA made the blackmailer jealous, go to “cruising spots,” and hook up with older men to get over it, he privately looks up what cruising spots are and gets down on himself for unknowingly hurting him.
Basically, they are still two toxic, messy people, but it’s weirdly healthy in ways you usually don’t see in BL and wouldn’t expect given the premise. Jeez, I wrote a lot, but it was actually pretty good, when I was super worried. Their character and relationship development is really interesting, as is the storytelling, which again might lead casual BL readers to misunderstand what is really going on. You can read this volume as a standalone, but apparently, there’s a sequel, which I hope says at this level. I’ll update this review to let you know if the sequel isn’t worth it.
4*
Warnings for blackmail, blackmail for kiss and accepting oral s*x (AKA dubious consent/noncon) at the start, homophobia, bi erasure/biphobia, internalized homophobia/biphobia, unreliable narrator, gay men as predatory stereotype, drunk s*x acts (AKA possible dubious consent), cheating, graphic enough s*x that you shouldn’t read it in public btw