Joy and Tears: The Emotional Life of the Christian

by Gerald W. Peterman

What if certain emotions aren't sinful, but are actually faithful? Most contemporary Christians misunderstand why we have emotions and how we should handle them. This book presents a biblical and practical look at emotions to guide is in the truth. Trusting God doesn’t mean being consistently tranquil or subdued. Such a view actually makes life flat and two-dimensional. We often forget that emotions are a gift; to fear them or stow them away would be to deny a huge part of what makes us human. This book explores the gift of emotions and the benefits of living a robust life of thought, action, and feeling. Illuminating the emotional life of Christ and his followers, Dr. Gerald Peterman Emotions don’t just happen to us like the virus or the flu; they are inherently part of us. Move beyond discussions of “good” and “bad” emotions and learn how to glorify God with all your emotions. Extended chapters on love and anger are included.

Genres: Nonfiction, Theology

208 pages, Paperback

First published February 18, 2013

About the author

GERALD PETERMAN is Professor of Bible and Director of Biblical and Theological Studies at Moody Bible Institute. Before coming to Moody he taught at Palm Beach Atlantic College in West Palm Beach, FL, spent 4 1/2 years doing church planting for the Evangelical Free Church in central Florida and in south central Iowa, and also served eight years in the Air National Guard as a Chaplain. Peterman also serves part-time at his local church. For Moody Publishers he has written Joy and Tears: The Emotional Life of the Christian (2013) and Between Pain and Grace: A Biblical Theology of Suffering with Dr. Andrew Schmutzer. Research interests include New Testament Greek Language and Exegesis, Greek and Roman Background to the New Testament, and Biblical Theology. Gerald has been married to Marjory since January 1984, with two adult daughters, Bethany and Grace.

Reviews

[Isaac Wilson · Rating 5 out of 5]

To find a book about emotions that doesn’t end in superficial self-help trivialities or dismiss passionate emotions as sinful is rare; but in “Joy and Tears: The Emotional Life of the Christian,” Dr. Gerald Peterman, professor of Bible at Moody Bible Institute, succeeds in looking at emotions thoughtfully and scripturally. In this 2013 publication, Peterman dives deeply into often frowned-upon emotions and lauds them as a gift. He explains that the emotional lives of Christians are just as important as our actions and cognitive experiences.

Dr. Peterman, self-described as a “recovering stoic,” wrote this book to help dispel the popular myth that feeling has no part in Christianity. On the contrary, Peterman thoroughly explains how emotions are biblical, specifically bringing up examples of Christ weeping in the Garden of Gethsemane, being angry in the temple and becoming downcast over the hardness of people’s hearts.

Though the “even-keeled” personality is often the perceived ideal, Peterman shows that learning about emotions and becoming more aware of our own internal convictions is not only Christlike, but will also help us better understand Scripture. By being more emotionally engaged in our interactions with the Bible, we’ll be able to learn more clearly and fully than we would by engaging merely at a cognitive or applicatory level.

Peterman dedicates individual chapters to the topics of fear, anger and sadness. If Christ was afraid, we can experience sinless fear. Jesus feared the cross — but this fear was godly. Anger can arise from the pain of an insult, or the witnessing of injustice. Examine your heart, and if your anger comes from a desire to see God’s justice or to ensure the safety of our loved ones, this anger isn’t wrong — this anger is godly. Peterman continues by explaining that if we have goals, we will sometimes experience sorrow, for our goals don’t always work out. If we love, then we will grieve, for loved ones do not remain with us forever. This sort of grief isn’t merely normal — this grief is godly.

Throughout the book, the author weaves arguments and exposition, coming to the conclusion that emotions are the natural responses to our convictions, and as such, can be molded to become more like Christ. This process is one that requires great deliberation — unlearning emotions that come naturally from wrong convictions can be hard to do. However, Peterman explains how we can systematically view our emotions as logical unconscious reactions stemming from our internal beliefs, something that’s more tangible to our consciousness.

In a bold portion of the book, Peterman denounces the idea that Christian joy is separate and unrelated to our current circumstances and is instead merely an internal conviction. To support this, he cites Romans 12:15 (“Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.”) among other strong biblical support, to point out that feelings things like anger, sorrow, disappointment and fear, along with joy, excitement and love are all legitimate, godly feelings.

With practical advice all along the way, this book is geared towards helping Christians take productive, reachable steps towards becoming holistically healthy. Any Christian, whether feeling emotionally numb or emotionally overloaded, will benefit greatly from “Joy and Tears.”

[Daniel Frederickson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Instead of divorcing feelings from logic, Peterman argues the Christian is closer to God when the two are married in an appropriate union. Throughout "Joy and Tears" he explains how natural feelings like joy, anger, and fear reveal our current state and how to draw closer to God.

I found the last two chapters particularly compelling. He builds from Jonathan Edwards writings to explain the foundations of the proper Christian life: orthodoxy (right belief), orthopraxy (right action), and orthokardia (right affection). Without proper affection towards God, we will become hardened and experience less joy in our walk with Him.

Christians from all walks of life can find encouragement in this easy-to-read book, but those (like Peterman) who naturally lean towards the stoic, non-feeling types may find it particularly enlightening.

[Ashleigh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read! Emotion was not a common topic growing up. Especially enjoyed the chapters on fear and love. Very insightful.

[Tim Sheppard · Rating 5 out of 5]

The name you can trust.

[Giovanni Generoso · Rating 4 out of 5]

Emotions are important. Emotions are intrinsic to what it means to be a person. It is impossible for a person, a human, to think, live, act, exist, without emotion. But what role should emotions play in the life of a Christian?

I'll be honest, I think that there's a lot of crap being said about emotions within much of conservative Christianity. I can't even tell you how many times I've heard some pastor/teacher say something along the lines of: "Love is not an emotion, but a choice." I'm sorry, but where did this logic even come from? Who are you? And why do you think that you can throw out absolute statements like that? What is motivating this kind of teaching? Is it some desire for an ill-conceived reverence before a stale, impersonal, Pharisaical "god"? Goodness gracious, it doesn't even make sense. Regardless of the motivating factors behind this kind of theology, I think it's absolute nonsense.

This kind of a theological perspective ultimately infects every category one uses when thinking about God, the world, humans, ethics, purpose, meaning, etc. If I devalue emotions and feelings like these people are doing, then it has acute ramifications for my theology at large. Our theology proper will begin to envision (construct) a deterministic god who's stripped of a heartbeat (and surely this is not the living God, but a false idol made by human imagination); our anthropology will envision humans as functionally a-emotional, capable or removing feelings from the fabrics of our beings (and surely nobody will like being around us, since we can't take a joke, can't cry for the sake of crying, can't be silly for the sake of being silly—indeed we will look more like Spock than the Suffering Servant); our ethic will logically lead to a strange, unrealistic, impersonal law that makes absolutely no sense with experience and can't satisfy the longings for justice, love, goodness, or any actual desire in the human heart.

If you get emotions wrong, you get personhood wrong. If you get personhood wrong, don't bother talking about God, humans, love, mercy, goodness, fear, or anything else. With Paul, I say, If you have not love, you're just a clanging gong, and annoying cymbal. This is the problem with much of conservativism (trust me, I know; I was raised in it from the womb). It's just filled with people who look more like the pharisees than joyful poets. This strange view of emotions is not Christian. It's not even human. It's just absolute falsity.

Dr. Peterman is on the right track with his book, I think. I appreciate his perspective because he rightly rebukes the modern-day pharisees that walk around with their shallow religious piety, and their dry rules and regulations, and their pathetically inhumane view of emotion. I especially enjoyed Peterman's chapter on love. Love is both disposition and event. It is long-term and short-term. I want to experience a lasting love for God, the world, my fellow man, and all of creation, as well as short-term feelings of gratitude, happiness, and joy that rupture my life at random unforeseen times and places, bring my to my knees, overwhelm me, overthrow me, break my, crush me, kill me.

It's time to be done with bad theology. It's time to view emotions rightly. It's time to live life to the full. It's time to weep; its time to laugh; it's time to hug and kiss; it's time to fall in love; it's time to love so much it hurts; it's time to love like God has loved each of us; it's time to "live to the point of tears" (Albert Camus). Ultimately, if I am truly to put my cards on the table, I have been extremely influenced by existential philosophy. Emotions are important to my view of life, my philosophy, and my theology. Emotions are intrinsic to how humans know. We cannot know or be known without emotions. My exhortation to each of you: Let yourselves feel. I know it's the scariest thing in the world. But it's what it means to be human. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to yell at God, yell at God. If you feel scared, tell somebody, and maybe, I pray, let yourselves be comforted. If you want to kiss somebody, kiss them. If you want to live, risk. There's no other way to live.

[Kasey Cocoa · Rating 3 out of 5]

This would be a good read for someone who has no context or experience understanding that emotions are natural and needs direction with a Christian basis. There's nothing standout or remarkable for the wiser than average reader on this topic. It's written to be easy to understand and digest. I could see this as part of counseling or therapy, in which case this would be a very good read. I received an evaluation copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest opinion and review. In no way has this influenced our opinion. Read more reviews, author interviews and enter giveaways on my blog.

[Bret Legg · Rating 3 out of 5]

Joy and Tears is a very balanced and easy read on the place of emotions in the Christian life. As a pastoral counselor, I see so many people who struggle with how their emotions fit (or don't fit) into their discipleship. This book takes a very clear and balanced look at emotions in general, and several specific emotions. The book ends with a chapter on the place of emotions in spiritual transformation. If you are curious about what part emotions should play in your Christianity, I would recommend this book.

[Liz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Helpful and systematic look at a variety of emotions and how we can experience them in healthy and unhealthy ways. Nothing particularly earth shattering, but helpful to look emotion by emotion to understand biblically how it can be used well and misused, how Jesus experienced the emotion, etc. A nice balance in a world where one group of people says you should stuff your emotions and another says you should give free reign to your emotions.