I don't have any words right now. I was at about 55% in this book when I started reading at about 10PM, and I just finished it now. I'm not sure I expected to finish it, but I did, and now I just don't know where it all went. I didn't even realize how late it was until I documented my finish time, as per usual. I'm going to try to write a review, but I might have to come back to clean it up later. Let's just see where it goes.
I came across this book on Goodreads a while ago, and I thought it looked good, but I add so many books to my TBR shelf on here that I just lose track of them sometimes. About a week ago, I came across it again, and it sounded so incredibly good. I checked the quotes on the book's page, because even though they do have spoiler-y things sometimes, they are often what seal the deal for me, in terms of which book to start. This book just seemed to call to me, like I needed to read it now. I'm so incredibly glad that I did.
Early on in the book, Rachael mentioned the main character, Emma, having a Kindle. I loved that immediately, since that's my e-reader of choice. She continued to make references about books that I have either read or know about, and at first I was a bit hesitant, wondering if she would be picking on a particular series of books I am very defensive over because it gets too much hate. Boy, was I wrong. In fact, she did the opposite, supplying me with an incredible argument that I will use for myself in the future when defending the books, or any romance book in general. I'll admit, I'm kind of a romance junkie myself, and like Emma, I can have a hard time admitting that to people. I'm always afraid people will think I'm reading just for the smut, or judge me based on some other assumption there is for romance novels, when in reality, I read it for much more. In reality, part of why I enjoy it so much is explained by Rachael, through Emma, in the beginning of the book. Rachael handled it beautifully, and in a way, I think it kind of forces readers to be more open-minded about this particular book. It challenges them and forces them to consider her words from the beginning as you move through the story. These words just jumped off of my Kindle screen and into my heart. I will never be able to thank her enough for what she gave to me.
With that, I was pretty much in love with Rachael and the book from the very start. It had a lot of promise. I just couldn't wait. I liked the characters immediately, and as I went on, I liked them even more, despite their imperfections--or, really, because of them. God, I don't know if I expected this to be the deep, complex read that I got, though. I mean, I was choking up and tears were pooling in my eyes pretty early on. With that said, I shed many tears in many different spots of this book. It was harder, as I finished the last 50% or so, as I was in the company of my parents and brother, to shed the tears I knew would be sobs if I'd been alone. (It's hard for me to show my full emotion/reaction to a book when I have an audience.) I still cried, though, and I still freaked out and fidgeted, especially toward the end.
"There's nothing left of me, because you have it all."
I loved Jackson more than I could ever tell. I loved watching him grow, seeing as his character developed beautifully. That's yet another thing I love Rachael for. The things he said, the things he did, just made me love him even more. My heart broke several times for him, but thankfully, Rachael had the decency to keep putting it back together for me.
I also loved Emma, of course. I loved her character development, even if her actions tended to annoy me at some points. Of course, I understood where she was coming from, so I was never angry at her for long. Carter was a beautiful addition, and you can bet I'll be reading the Preservation series to hear more from Carter. He was such a strong character, someone I instantly loved. I even loved Whitney! She was funny, witty, and totally the best friend Emma could have ever asked for. (Oh, and I see that Emma, Jackson, and Whitney will all have roles in the Preservation series, as well. I'm SO looking forward to that. Eeee! I can't even tell you!)
I think Rachael chose the absolute perfect way to end this story. The last few sentences, in fact, caused several chills, right after the other, as I read them. The story of Emma and Jackson was a rough one, and a real one. Their journey took a lot of work, and it wasn't rushed at all. I am so pleased with the way Rachael handled it, and I am even more pleased with the ending. It is, by far, one of the best endings to a book that I have ever read.
All in all, I loved this book. It was a raw, heart-achingly beautiful story of love, loss, and redemption. I'm so glad I picked this book up. You can bet that I'll be reading more from this author. I think the fact that this is probably the longest review I've ever left on Goodreads, or for any book ever, says something about what this book meant to me. Pick it up now and read it. It's a gorgeous story that has impacted me in ways I cannot even begin to explain.
Oh, actually, there's one thing I'd like to know. There was a romance novel referenced at least three different times, possibly four, that was never named and that we received no hints for. With the other books, readers could guess what they were, as I did. This book, however, I have no idea what it is. I kept hoping Rachael would reveal it by the end, but she never did. So, my question for you, Rachael, if you ever happen upon this review, is what is that book? I'd really like to know. Does it exist? If it does, why was it a good addition? I understand the significance and relevance of the book in general, but why the particular book? If it doesn't exist, did you at least have one in mind? You've left me quite curious. I think perhaps you may have done it on purpose.
Just go read the book. It's really, really good. I know I toss five stars around pretty easily sometimes, and in reality this possible got 4.5-5 stars, but don't think too much of it. This was truly incredible. I'll be reading it again someday.