The Over-Scheduled Child: Avoiding the Hyper-Parenting Trap

by Robert Coles (Foreword), Alvin Rosenfeld, Nicole Wise

Do you find yourself asking "Whose life is it anyway?" Parenting today has come to resemble a relentless to-do list. Even parents with the best intentions strive to micro-manage every detail of their kids' lives and live in constant fear that their child will under-perform in any area--academic, social, athletic. Lists and schedules, meetings and appointments invade our every moment and the need to be the best dominates--and undermines--our own sense of self as well as our children's. In this groundbreaking new book, renowed child psychiatrist Alvin Rosenfeld, M.D., and longtime family-issues journalist Nicole Wise combine personal and professional experience to take action against what they see as our overeager pursuit of perfection. The clear, comforting steps they prescribe to attack this rampant phenomenon will promote healthier and happier children and revitalize the parenting experience.

Genres: Parenting, Education

304 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2001

About the author

Child psychiatrist, author, Harvard professor.

Robert Coles is a professor of psychiatry and medical humanities at the Harvard Medical School, a research psychiatrist for the Harvard University Health Services, and the James Agee Professor of Social Ethics at Harvard College.

Reviews

[Karla · Rating 4 out of 5]

For Harvard think tank folks, I thought this would be better grounded. It was page after page of knee jerk editorialized notes on what they saw as preconceived notions for success.
What really matters.... is active parenting. The authors intend to make this a feel good supportive piece- reality dictates otherwise. The authors scrutinize parents who are doing their best, yet they state that parents are the experts. They make a circular argument that wasn't supported as it should have been. Read Kozol instead, you'll get more out of it.

[Kelly · Rating 3 out of 5]

So, I do feel like I need to qualify why I read this book, so here it is: I am giving a presentation on the benefits of extracurricular activities verses the dangers of over-scheduling your children. Seeing how I have no experience with this myself, I wanted to see what the experts were saying. It definitely helped me out and likely could be really useful to parents (the intended audience). Even as nothing more than a want-to-be at this point in my life, I did think it was useful not only for my presentation but also helped me develop ideas about what I want to try to do as a parent someday and what I want to avoid doing. It definitely is a book directed at today’s generation of parents and it’s interesting to see some of the problems parents are creating for themselves and their children. I will say that the beginning of the book is a lot better than the end. After so many pages it starts getting really repetitive.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book should be required reading for every parent. I wish I would have read it even back when I was pregnant with my first child. If you don't think you fall into any of these "traps", I promise you that you'll catch yourself many times after reading this book. In fact, I probably should read it again from time to time just to remind myself.......

[Brandie · Rating 4 out of 5]

GREAT book. Really moved me - I mean it. If you feel like you are always rushing around (or maybe you are not but think you should) read this. You might want to change how much you have on your plate and your child's plate each and every day. Really, just read it.

[April · Rating 3 out of 5]

People are crazy...