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Married to the Black Widow: A chilling true story of lies and deception
*AS FEATURED IN CHANNEL 4's 24 HOURS IN POLICE CUSTODY*
'Not many people know how much their life is worth. I do.
'The value of my life, or more specifically the cost of ending it, can be measured on a sliding scale based on method, reliability and efficiency. Fifteen thousand pounds would buy you plausible deniability and a brick across the back of the head from a London-based professional hitman. Or, if you're on a budget, five grand for "some nutter" to come down from Glasgow.'
Rob and his now ex-wife, Victoria, met at university. Their relationship started off happily, they moved to Falmouth in Cornwall before getting married. However, it quickly descended into a nightmare marriage of psychological manipulation, coercive control and emotional abuse - all from the woman who was supposed to love him.
Rob's life was gradually destroyed as Victoria extended a web of lies around him, manipulating, suffocating and isolating him from the outside world. It was only through his baby daughter, Grace, that he found the courage to leave Victoria. But even then, Rob could never really escape, and Victoria continued to haunt and torment his life. In fact, her actions became more and more extreme, culminating in approaches to several different men with requests to help her murder Rob.
As featured in Channel 4's 24 Hours in Police Custody, Married to the Black Widow is both a bone-chilling, real-life, psychological thriller and a powerful and honest true story of a father's unrelenting battle for freedom and justice.
'Not many people know how much their life is worth. I do.
'The value of my life, or more specifically the cost of ending it, can be measured on a sliding scale based on method, reliability and efficiency. Fifteen thousand pounds would buy you plausible deniability and a brick across the back of the head from a London-based professional hitman. Or, if you're on a budget, five grand for "some nutter" to come down from Glasgow.'
Rob and his now ex-wife, Victoria, met at university. Their relationship started off happily, they moved to Falmouth in Cornwall before getting married. However, it quickly descended into a nightmare marriage of psychological manipulation, coercive control and emotional abuse - all from the woman who was supposed to love him.
Rob's life was gradually destroyed as Victoria extended a web of lies around him, manipulating, suffocating and isolating him from the outside world. It was only through his baby daughter, Grace, that he found the courage to leave Victoria. But even then, Rob could never really escape, and Victoria continued to haunt and torment his life. In fact, her actions became more and more extreme, culminating in approaches to several different men with requests to help her murder Rob.
As featured in Channel 4's 24 Hours in Police Custody, Married to the Black Widow is both a bone-chilling, real-life, psychological thriller and a powerful and honest true story of a father's unrelenting battle for freedom and justice.
- GenresNonfictionTrue Crime
316 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 20, 2023
70 people are currently reading
113 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
August 1, 2024
Chilling real life story of a mother and ex-wife who lies and a generally nasty person who puts certain people at risk of danger
August 4, 2023
I'm a self-confessed addict of the TV show '24 hours in Police Custody' so had to read this when I realised the subject matter. I didn't expect such a captivating yet uncomfortable read, which delved fair deeper than the tv documentary ever did. Well written by an eloquent and obviously intelligent man who was a victim of coercive control and brutal manipulation from a woman who clearly wanted him dead.
August 9, 2023
If you're a true crime fan I NEED to recommend Married To The Black Widow. I thought I'd get a few chapters in on my day off yesterday... I finished it in one sitting and WOW. There's a reason this book has nothing but 5* reviews on goodreads. I thought I knew Rob's story after watching the double episode of 24 Hours In Police Custody when it aired in 2021 (Andrew and I spent the whole 2 hours with our jaws on the floor), but it turns out that was only the tip of the iceberg!
In the book, Rob details his life with his ex-wife and mother of his child, Victoria Breeden, from their first meeting to the last time he saw her in court. It is a story that will shock you to your core and you really feel like you're living Rob's story with him - I went through every single emotion there is! The writing is incredible and what comes across most is just what a brave, resilient and intelligent man he is, as well as an unbelievable father who never gave up fighting to protect his daughter. His letter to Grace at the end had me sobbing and I can only take my hat off for the sensitive and honest way that Rob tells his story knowing that one day his daughter will read it.
This is the sort of story that should only exist in the pages of fiction and my heart broke throughout at the years of coercive control, abuse and threats to life that Rob, his wife and daughter suffered at the hands of Victoria. To Rob, I hope you found writing this to be cathartic and a step towards healing! I wish you and your family every bit of joy and happiness going forward because no one deserves it more. You are a survivor and I am so glad you've gotten to tell your story in your own words!
In the book, Rob details his life with his ex-wife and mother of his child, Victoria Breeden, from their first meeting to the last time he saw her in court. It is a story that will shock you to your core and you really feel like you're living Rob's story with him - I went through every single emotion there is! The writing is incredible and what comes across most is just what a brave, resilient and intelligent man he is, as well as an unbelievable father who never gave up fighting to protect his daughter. His letter to Grace at the end had me sobbing and I can only take my hat off for the sensitive and honest way that Rob tells his story knowing that one day his daughter will read it.
This is the sort of story that should only exist in the pages of fiction and my heart broke throughout at the years of coercive control, abuse and threats to life that Rob, his wife and daughter suffered at the hands of Victoria. To Rob, I hope you found writing this to be cathartic and a step towards healing! I wish you and your family every bit of joy and happiness going forward because no one deserves it more. You are a survivor and I am so glad you've gotten to tell your story in your own words!
July 28, 2023
I am giving this book 5 stars 🌟 for 2 reasons
1. Because it's very written, it feels like you're living the nightmare alongside Rob. Your emotions reading this book go up and down all the time.
2. Because this man is a Saint. He may not feel that way, but believe me, after everything he and his family have been through, he still remains strong for their daughter.. still giving that evil woman a chance and still looking back at the good things about her.
You, Rob, are a bigger person than most, and for that, I take my hat off to you!
You sound like an incredible father.
... It's crazy to think that stuff like this happens all around us, and we are totally unaware of what goes on behind closed doors.. we know it happens, but it's not always thought about when it's not in your line of sight. This is why I love to read and watch true crime it shows you the real world it reminds you that there are "evil" people living among us. And some are so unfortunate to live through nightmares like this.
I will admit the ending of this book brought a tear to my eye the relief I felt for Rob and his family, but at the same time, I feel apprehensive of the future for them.
I sincerely wish you all the happiness in the world, and I hope (although it will never leave you) that you will find complete peace for you and your daughter, especially.
You're remarkable. You fought, and you never gave up regardless of the struggles you faced. You did that for your daughter.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity in reading your book.
1. Because it's very written, it feels like you're living the nightmare alongside Rob. Your emotions reading this book go up and down all the time.
2. Because this man is a Saint. He may not feel that way, but believe me, after everything he and his family have been through, he still remains strong for their daughter.. still giving that evil woman a chance and still looking back at the good things about her.
You, Rob, are a bigger person than most, and for that, I take my hat off to you!
You sound like an incredible father.
... It's crazy to think that stuff like this happens all around us, and we are totally unaware of what goes on behind closed doors.. we know it happens, but it's not always thought about when it's not in your line of sight. This is why I love to read and watch true crime it shows you the real world it reminds you that there are "evil" people living among us. And some are so unfortunate to live through nightmares like this.
I will admit the ending of this book brought a tear to my eye the relief I felt for Rob and his family, but at the same time, I feel apprehensive of the future for them.
I sincerely wish you all the happiness in the world, and I hope (although it will never leave you) that you will find complete peace for you and your daughter, especially.
You're remarkable. You fought, and you never gave up regardless of the struggles you faced. You did that for your daughter.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity in reading your book.
August 1, 2023
Firstly, a massive thank you to Rob for sending me this book, as soon as I saw about it, it went straight on my wish list, so I’m very grateful to have received this.
What an incredibly written book. I needed to give myself a few days before writing my review because this book is extremely heartbreaking to read and I finished it just thinking ‘Wow’, speechless at the fact Rob went through such a horrific time over many years.
While I can only imagine what Rob went through, I kinda felt like I was going along this with him as I read each page of heartbreak. I think it’s incredibly brave to write about what him and his family went through - it can’t have been easy to do this.
This is the kinda thing you’d think should be fiction and I feel so sad that he went through it, no one should have to experience anything like this. Rob fought to protect himself and his family through years of torment and abuse and I genuinely was so shocked as I got through each chapter.
This is a gripping read and is featured on 24 hours in police custody. I feel like it’s a book everyone should read and share far and wide.
The final addition to the book, a letter to Grace. I think it’s a perfect way to finish the book and it had me in tears. A fathers letter to his daughter.
I wish Rob and his family all the happiness in the world and a peaceful future.
Should anyone that reads this and is experiencing anything similar or even a fraction of what Rob went though, there are some important contacts at the end of the book.
Married to the Black Widow is out now
What an incredibly written book. I needed to give myself a few days before writing my review because this book is extremely heartbreaking to read and I finished it just thinking ‘Wow’, speechless at the fact Rob went through such a horrific time over many years.
While I can only imagine what Rob went through, I kinda felt like I was going along this with him as I read each page of heartbreak. I think it’s incredibly brave to write about what him and his family went through - it can’t have been easy to do this.
This is the kinda thing you’d think should be fiction and I feel so sad that he went through it, no one should have to experience anything like this. Rob fought to protect himself and his family through years of torment and abuse and I genuinely was so shocked as I got through each chapter.
This is a gripping read and is featured on 24 hours in police custody. I feel like it’s a book everyone should read and share far and wide.
The final addition to the book, a letter to Grace. I think it’s a perfect way to finish the book and it had me in tears. A fathers letter to his daughter.
I wish Rob and his family all the happiness in the world and a peaceful future.
Should anyone that reads this and is experiencing anything similar or even a fraction of what Rob went though, there are some important contacts at the end of the book.
Married to the Black Widow is out now
December 22, 2024
Rob Parkes writes about his life with Victoria a woman who he had fallen in love with as a student at the end of the 1990s. Twenty years later she is in court accused of plotting to kill him!
The writing feels authentic and allows the horrifying tale to unfold. The shocking incidents are almost underplayed, one of the early revelations is that Victoria regularly 'needed' Rob rock her to sleep in their early days, just imagine how much that would impact on his life.
The writing is engaging with snapshots of what was happening in the wider family to allow for context but whilst obviously considering privacy issues.
An eye-opening book that would be useful for anyone concerned about a victims of coercive control perpetrated by a woman, as my experience has shown me there is a common theme.
The writing feels authentic and allows the horrifying tale to unfold. The shocking incidents are almost underplayed, one of the early revelations is that Victoria regularly 'needed' Rob rock her to sleep in their early days, just imagine how much that would impact on his life.
The writing is engaging with snapshots of what was happening in the wider family to allow for context but whilst obviously considering privacy issues.
An eye-opening book that would be useful for anyone concerned about a victims of coercive control perpetrated by a woman, as my experience has shown me there is a common theme.
July 26, 2023
I chose to listen to this on audio (narrated by the author) and completed it in two days. I couldn’t stop listening! It was a gripping and quite incredulous real life account of manipulation and control and the author builds the account of events in so much detail whilst not losing pace. It highlights the inequity that is so often shown to non resident parents. The author should be praised for his bravery in so eloquently telling his story.
August 21, 2023
As a massive thriller fan, it feels a little awkward to admit how much I enjoy reading about other [fictional] people's toxicity and cruelty. But when you read a non-fiction story about the same themes (such as gaslighting, torment and coercive control), it definitely hits differently.
Married To The Black Widow is a shocking but absolutely captivating story. It would be unfair to say that I enjoyed reading this book as what Rob and his daughter went through was horrifying, unfair, and heart-breaking. But it's a brilliantly written book that I didn't want to put down all the same. Rob's writing also feels really cathartic to him, and I hope his and Grace's future is a bright one.
The story also features on an episode of 24 hours in Police Custody which I haven't managed to watch yet, but I look forward to being able to put some faces to the names. So if you're a fan of true crime and have an interest in British criminal cases, Rob's story is definitely one worth reading.
Married To The Black Widow is a shocking but absolutely captivating story. It would be unfair to say that I enjoyed reading this book as what Rob and his daughter went through was horrifying, unfair, and heart-breaking. But it's a brilliantly written book that I didn't want to put down all the same. Rob's writing also feels really cathartic to him, and I hope his and Grace's future is a bright one.
The story also features on an episode of 24 hours in Police Custody which I haven't managed to watch yet, but I look forward to being able to put some faces to the names. So if you're a fan of true crime and have an interest in British criminal cases, Rob's story is definitely one worth reading.
September 29, 2023
I remember watching about this case on tv and thought the sentence she got was too lament and I still think that after reading the book she plotted to kill her ex husband all cause he walked away from her as she was abusive and a bully to him. I really give Rob credit for writing this book and for been so brave to tell his story and to the tell world what his ex wife is really like. This book will make a big impact on his daughter’s life when she reads it as she will found out what her mum is really like. I felt so sorri for Rob and his family and daughter to after to go though what they went though in this book there life’s were turned upside down but I hope they can now build a better and positive live for everyone involved. I felt sorri for Rob losing his brother as he then has to but his grief on hold whilst he dealt with his ex which I thought was so brave and dignified. Such an inspirational book that shows that men go though abuse as well as women. Rob did amazing on this book and I hope he gets to life they life he so deserves now. Xxx
June 7, 2024
After reading an article about Rob’s ordeal, I thought I would pick up a copy of the book. I haven’t seen the episode of 24 Hours in Police Custody, but if you have, I think the book would give further insight into the case.
I was surprised to find the book was compelling to read, despite the difficult subject matter. Rob is a strong and resilient person, first for leaving the controlling relationship, continuing to fight for what’s best for his daughter, and for speaking out and writing the book.
At times it seemed like Victoria’s campaign against Rob was relentless and I can’t imagine the fear and stress this must have caused him and his family.
I don’t think enjoyed is the right word for this book but I would certainly recommend it. I hope it encourages more men to look for support if they need it.
I was surprised to find the book was compelling to read, despite the difficult subject matter. Rob is a strong and resilient person, first for leaving the controlling relationship, continuing to fight for what’s best for his daughter, and for speaking out and writing the book.
At times it seemed like Victoria’s campaign against Rob was relentless and I can’t imagine the fear and stress this must have caused him and his family.
I don’t think enjoyed is the right word for this book but I would certainly recommend it. I hope it encourages more men to look for support if they need it.
October 28, 2024
What an incredible story! I vaguely remembered watching this on 24 hours in Police Custody, but couldn't fully remember the story or how it turned out.
Rob has highlighted every single detail of his life married to his Wife, who accused him of the most despicable crimes. This was such a fascinating story, but also heartbreaking as the honesty in this book is incredible, and you find yourself imaging the things Rob has suffered. I will need to go back and watch the documentary again to put faces to the names again, but such a fascinating story.
Not an easy read, but so interesting, I couldn't put this down.
Rob has highlighted every single detail of his life married to his Wife, who accused him of the most despicable crimes. This was such a fascinating story, but also heartbreaking as the honesty in this book is incredible, and you find yourself imaging the things Rob has suffered. I will need to go back and watch the documentary again to put faces to the names again, but such a fascinating story.
Not an easy read, but so interesting, I couldn't put this down.
June 8, 2024
I actually hadn’t seen the episode of 24 hours in police custody that showed this case so it was all totally new to me. I felt the authors did a really good job of trying to remain balanced and not making the retelling of this a smear campaign against his ex, which I think is incredibly generous given the situation. The story is wild and very complex, but told in a thoughtful, considerate and meticulous way. I really enjoyed listening to the audiobook of it!
July 26, 2023
good read
I hope grace reads this and understands it all and it helps her to see how much her dad loves her. Gripping read and so informative regarding the abuse that men receive from women which isn’t in the public domain as much as the other way round is.
I hope it gives men the courage to leave any abusive gas lighting situations they are in to leave
I hope grace reads this and understands it all and it helps her to see how much her dad loves her. Gripping read and so informative regarding the abuse that men receive from women which isn’t in the public domain as much as the other way round is.
I hope it gives men the courage to leave any abusive gas lighting situations they are in to leave
September 14, 2023
Wow what a read!
Having known the author for some years it broke my heart to read what he and his family have been through. He is an amazing role model for his daughters and after everything he’s still really positive about his ex wife.
Some shocking events to put down in words and I must admit I did shed quite a few tears for him, especially the letter to Grace.
Having known the author for some years it broke my heart to read what he and his family have been through. He is an amazing role model for his daughters and after everything he’s still really positive about his ex wife.
Some shocking events to put down in words and I must admit I did shed quite a few tears for him, especially the letter to Grace.
September 24, 2023
Very good read, awful what people will do to one another!
September 9, 2024
Fascinating insight into coercive control in a way different to what you see and hear in mainstream media.
January 20, 2025
Really glad I picked this back up yesterday as initially I was struggling to get into the first 100 pages... From around page 80 this book really takes off as Victoria (sadly) ramped up her behaviour. The writing style is incredible and the book was honestly gripping, which lead me to finish it in under 24 hours once I'd rediscovered it.
A really fascinating book, albeit a horribly sad story, and I was very grateful for all of the court details in the final few chapters as I find these particularly interesting given my background.
A really fascinating book, albeit a horribly sad story, and I was very grateful for all of the court details in the final few chapters as I find these particularly interesting given my background.
May 27, 2025
Amazing read. I was familiar with the case having seen it featured on '24 hours in police custody', but Rob's account here allows for so much more detail and background. What this guy has endured is astonishing, one can only hope he's continuing to live the happy life he deserves. It was so interesting to have a peek into the psychology of Victoria Breeden; what an awful and miserable person she must be. It's also really good to see someone bringing to light the fact that men can suffer as much as women at the hands of manipulative abusers, and are equally deserving of help and support.
April 16, 2025
4.5. I downloaded this as I enjoy true crime. I had it in my head it was about a serial killer as I hadn't read the info, just looked at the reviews.
The book was well narrated and the story harrowing and upsetting. How Rob has managed to get through such an experience is a testament to his character. Well worth a listen / read.
The book was well narrated and the story harrowing and upsetting. How Rob has managed to get through such an experience is a testament to his character. Well worth a listen / read.
July 24, 2023
Fantastic, compelling read, couldn’t put the book down. Unbelievable what this woman put Rob and their daughter through and the control she had over others.
March 29, 2024
Based on a true story. Good to get an insight into it at first hand but it took me a while to read as it was long and winded.
February 4, 2025
Unexpected in every way and really reasurring
February 12, 2025
What a story! Listened as an audiobook
May 2, 2025
I recommend this book to any true crime fan. Really enjoyed it and it got me out of my reading slump.
March 18, 2024
Shocking try life account
Started well but into began to skim read it as it was too long winded for me . A shocking account of a vindictive woman's mission to control her husband even long after they divorced.
Started well but into began to skim read it as it was too long winded for me . A shocking account of a vindictive woman's mission to control her husband even long after they divorced.
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews