Hurting My Toys: Spiritual Suicide

by David L. Tamarin

Hurting My Toys is a sick and depraved novel written from the point of view of a drug-addicted serial killer and rapist who believes that he is God and that in order to conquer the universe he must kill and torture as many people as possible. Delusional and high on crack, our narrator commits atrocity after atrocity to control his insatiable blood lust. Hurting My Toys contains multiple triggers and should not be read by those who are easily offended, have a heart condition, or are under the age of 21.
COMING ALL YOU NEED IS BLOOD, Volume Abbey Roadkill, and the Rotten Valley High series.
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More information on all social media sites under the handle @davidltamarin

Genres: Horror

112 pages, Paperback

First published November 29, 2014

About the author

I am a writer, screenwriter, actor, producer, and attorney. More information on my imdb page.
http://www.facebook.com/davdltamarin

Reviews

[Misty Marie Harms · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you ever wanted to be inside a schizophrenic psychopathic crack-head rapist/torturer/murderer head here is your chance. He is convinced he is God and his mission to create a new universe. Apparently a universe of dead bodies because those pile up pretty rapidly. It is interesting the internal dialogue and debate he has within himself. The tortures and murders are brutal and graphic. I did not see that ending happening. I love books where the endings are shock!

🐱🐱🐱

[Renée · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars

What the fuck?

[Paul · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gawd damn

Talk about a brutal book, this takes the cake, love the fact that it's POV from a serial killer with huge drug addiction and a God complex. Just a great page-turner this is the kind of extreme horror that just blows away everything else. Talk about next level .

[Lindsay Crook · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bloody and brilliant

I loved this book. So flipping brutal and bloody. This author is bat crap crazy and I love it. I wish I could re-read it again for the first time.

[Christina Pfeiffer · Rating 5 out of 5]

TL;DR - I don’t want to recommend this book but I absolutely have to.

This book. This book is, by far, the worst book I have ever read. It’s not because of poor writing, shit characters, terrible pacing, or lack of development. It is because it is the closest to real life that I have read in a long time.

Most serial killer fiction is scary or disturbing but there is an ability to suspend belief, like this is obviously a work of fiction and it feels it. Hurting My Toys (HMT) does fucking not feel that way. It reads like a psychopathic, narcissistic manifesto and it is scary AF. I get uncomfortable reading certain scenes in books (think Son of the Slob and Mother Maggot for examples) but HMT goes beyond that. The torture scenes are written as if you are there watching in real time and it is not a good feeling. You want to help these characters, the victims, but you can’t and that makes for a fucked up time.

The social commentary fascinated me. Besides being tortured yourself, terrorism is not only mentioned numerous times, but shown in certain lights. The main character gets off to 9/11 videos but he, himself, is a domestic terrorist and realizes it. Which is worse, knowing what you are and embracing it or vis versa? This novella (?) shows how we are too trusting and how that can be turned against us, amongst other things.

The ending, Jesus Christ in a side cart holding a cheese sandwich, I was not expecting that! And the ending was the only con and not really a con for most. It was a quick bandaid rip but reading it, I was used to slow, torturous details. I would have loved for it to be more drawn out but I understand why it is the way it is.

This book is not an easy read. At all. “Well I have read —— (fill in the blank) so I can handle it.” Nah, son, you probably can’t. I honestly have no idea how I made it through… yes I do, Tamarin writes where you cannot stop until the ride is over and that says everything about his writing.

Do I want to recommend this? No, but I will 100%. Did it earn 5 stars and will never leave my mind? Yes.

5/5 Hole tortures.

[David Tamarin]

I wrote it so of course I loved it.

[Sea Caummisar · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you're looking for a gorefest romp, this book is for you. There wasn't much of a plot, other than following jumbled thoughts of a man who thought he was GOD. Between his drugs and mental illnesses, his thoughts are hard to keep up with. A few times, he contradicted himself. No biggie.
The story is him either remembering kills, or killing. And they're brutal. If you're looking for pointless killing, you'd enjoy this book

[Michael · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5

Tamarin created an interesting story, but just didn’t fully work out.

I liked the criticizing of society and public fear/panic when News stations or journalists purposefully try to incite fear. I also enjoyed the god complex, in this case literally, of the narrator—he was most certainly in his delusion era.

However, The shock value in this felt a bit forced—it’s almost as if the author was trying to make the most detestable character they could fathom, but the author is actually a super nice guy and can’t possibly imagine hurting people. That is, this felt like an innocent person writing an extreme horror story (that’s written in first person).

This had potential but seemed to miss the mark. Particularly, the writing was what made it fall apart. And, I don’t mean the stream of consciousness, lack of overall storyline/plot, or weird continuity issues (I think those actually added to the overall vibe). But, oddly, there were a lack of contractions which felt weird as I read—I think this was an attempt for the main character to sound smarter. There were also too many typos. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, if I, as a reader, can find these typos, someone else can find these typos before publication.

I think if you want to read a story that’s mostly about the pointless killings of people, this is the book for you!

[Rachal Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is great, unhinged, vile and educational

[Shannon Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

“That limb snaps like a little twig in a haunted forest of monstrous mushrooms and diseased half-blind creatures fornicating” - David L. Tamarin, Hurting My Toys, Spiritual Suicide

The lushly crafted imagery of that excerpt is the hallmark of this surreal deep dive into the psyche of a psychopathic killer. This is a fresh spin on the well-worn field of serial killers in literature; uniquely told from murderers perspective, inclusive of his inner monologues. The brutality of this killers actions is keenly balanced with an eye to some of the great moral questions of our time.

What is the value of a life? And is one persons life or one species life more valuable than the next? If you want to know how a psychopath would answer that, the answer lies inside these pages.

[Autumn Feathers · Rating 4 out of 5]

If I put into words the way reading this made me feel, you will believe I that I hated it. Which I’m still not sure that I didn’t.
Regardless, the main character in this book eludes to so many things… he’s a sadist, he’s God, he has the inability to distinguish humans from mannequins… the entire book I wasn’t able to ascertain what was going on.

So, of course I was hooked.

While I found the repetition of the main character declaring he was god really annoying (not because of personal beliefs) it didn’t take away from the story, in fact I’m fairly certain it solidified the mentality of this man.

I found myself almost feeling sorry for the main character… not sure that speaks well on my own behalf… but there was such a chaos in this, and the blurring of reality was enough to make me second guess everything he told.

Regardless this was a very dark and demented read. So if that’s your taste then this will satisfy.

[Gerhard Geick · Rating 5 out of 5]

Think Brett Eason Ellis meets Matt Shaw meets Chuck Palahniuk meets Kevin Sweeney meets Richard Laymon meets Rayne Havok, and you might have some idea of what your getting yourself into with this novella by Mr. David L. Tamarin. This man writes without conscience or consideration for the intrinsic value of human life. He goes where no man dares to go, and his characters are beyond transgressive and cruel. Personally, I have never been hit so hard as I was by Hurting My Toys: Spiritual Suicide, and I have been to the depths of hell with some of the extreme horror and splatterpunk I have read. This sh¡te wasn't just extreme, but it was so well written that it pushed through my limitations (Aphantasia) and splashed these images like blood stains in the forefront of my brain.

Hurting My Toys is available on Godless, and it is well worth the price of admission.

https://godless.com/products/hurting-...

[Kirsty Mills · Rating 1 out of 5]

2* is generous, more 1.5* (EDIT: revised to 1* as 2 definitely is far too generous). Yes this is very graphic but that isn't why I rate it so poorly. There is no storyline and it seems like this was written in an attempt to shock readers. "This one time I 'insert torture, rape, murder and drug use' blah blah then rinse repeat. A lot of this was so ridiculous that it didn't even make sense nor was believable. How can you carry two people over your shoulders and then elbow them in the face? Lots more examples much more ridiculous than this though, especially the drug use. The writing was sloppy, bits wedged together, continuity errors, parts of the story missing for no reason, it was a hot mess. I only finished as it was short otherwise would have binned it.

[Jason · Rating 5 out of 5]

The hardest book I ever read but damn I don't know how to describe it. Filthy beautiful and dark and violent and disgusting and disturbing. The author pulls no punches and doesn't gaf. I loved it for the revulsion it inspired within me. Gotta go cleanse my eyes lol. Kudos.