On the House: The Bizarre Killing of Michael Malloy

by Simon Read

The true story behind "the most grotesque chain of events in New York criminal history"--the bizarre 1933 murder of drunk Michael Malloy by a gang of low-rent thugs who took out an insurance policy on him.

Genres: True Crime, Nonfiction, Crime

288 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published October 4, 2005

About the author

I'm the author of nine non-fiction books published on both sides of the Atlantic. Hachette will release my next book, THE IRON SEA, in November.

When I'm not writing, I enjoy reading (naturally), messing about on the piano, listening to classic British rock, and searching for good English pubs (I live in Arizona, where such drinking establishments can sometimes be hard to find).

Please feel free to check out my website or visit me on Twitter.

Reviews

[Courtney Gajda · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a good read on a very crazy true crime case. I felt at times the author put a little too much of his own flair in his storytelling. Also- there needs to be a character guide to reference. There are way too many players in this wild tale. It was hard to keep the bad guys straight, which I know isn’t the authors fault- just would have made the read more enjoyable if I didn’t have to keep Googling who was who.

[Bill reilly · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Iron Mike" Malloy predated the boxer from Brooklyn by many years. The Donegal born Irishman loved his drink more than anything in life. A posse of Bronx natives hatched a plan to make some easy money by insuring the man and collecting from the policy after his "untimely" death. What follows is one of the strangest murder cases that I have ever read.
The first plot involved mixing wood grain alcohol with gin and whiskey. This was during Prohibition and NYC had an estimated thirty thousand speakeasies in 1932. Homemade hooch killed many drinkers but Mikey proved to be one tough cookie. Next up, he was fed a spoiled sardine sandwich with metal shavings and ground up glass. "Delicious" was Malloy's evaluation of the meal. The plotters then dragged the inebriated sod to Crotona Park and left him in the snow to freeze to death after pouring water over him. The modern day Rasputin dragged himself back to the bar and warmed up with more wood grain alcohol. The desperate men then paid a taxi cab driver to run over Michael. He once again reappeared after a stay at Fordham Hospital(I ❤NY).
I will leave the conclusion for the reader to discover. On the House is a riveting and heartbreaking tale of greed and inhumanity.

[Ronnie Cramer · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good example of doing the necessary research and telling a story in an interesting way. If anyone remembers "Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar" from the radio, this saga is surely the inspiration for that program's five-part serial "The Indestructible Mike Matter." Side Note: the used paperback copy I purchased includes the following inscription, "To Anne, Have a drink and enjoy! Cheers! - Simon Read."

[Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

There's nothing funny about murder... or is there?

Simon Read's "On The House" could have been mistaken for a Monty Python script. Drunken derelict Michael Malloy is insured by the Murder Trust, an aimless band of low-level hoodlums who headquarter at a shabby New York speakeasy. The Trust members, which include an undertaker, the speakeasy's syphlitic owner, and a deranged cabbie who wants to try murder for the first time, make one attempt after another to kill Malloy and collect the insurance money. They pour him drinks of pure wood alcohol and serve him poisoned oysters and sandwiches crammed with rotten sardines, glass, and metal bits. They try to run him over with a cab, and leave him on a park bench during a winter night after pouring freezing water over his unconscious form. After each brush with death, the cheerily oblivious Malloy keeps coming back to the speakeasy, convinced that his would-be killers are his friends. Finally their plan succeeds, but the victory is only fleeting. The Murder Trust becomes the target of first suspicious insurance claims investigators, then the police, and finally the electric chair at Sing Sing.

"On The House" is infused with a dark humor that manifests itself in sentences like the following: "At twenty-seven, Marino was a mess of a man, being not only a shabby dresser but also syphlitic. By his own account, he was harangued with frequent bouts of the clap and blue balls." The victim, Mike Malloy, is described as someone whom life has "kicked in the crotch." Malloy's murderers are distinguished only by their ineptitude and homicidal mania, but Simon Read has given the whole story a 'car crash' treatment that keeps you turning the pages, shaking your head and, yes, cracking a smile or two.

Read is a natural storyteller. Using dialogue and descriptions scraped from news accounts of the murder, he presents a morbid and entertaining picture of Depression-era New York and its lowlife. Victims rights advocates might consider his treatment of Malloy's death to be breezy and offensive, but the entire murder plot was so slapstick and surreal that any solemnity could only come across as phony.

[Allison · Rating 3 out of 5]

So far, so good. Why is "Bizarre" spelled incorrectly when searching on Good Reads? The actual book title is spelled correctly. It's driving me crazy.

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Obviously well researched, but a little hard to follow along and keep it all straight. It's a messed up story of true crime with a lot of players. In the end, I am glad the DA was able to piece it together and put those guys away.

[Dan Seitz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read leans a bit too hard on the lurid nature of the case, but it's sort of hard to fault him. The story of Michael Malloy, a seemingly fragile drunk with one foot in the grave who turns out to be a testament to the hardiness of the human body, and the complete dolts who tried to kill him for an insurance scam, reads like a goofy screenplay. Still, Read did his research, and it's very, very real, an entertaining entry into the Depression-era true-crime canon.

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

Met author, Simon Read, in England. His grandmother, Hazel was neighbor and best friends with our good friends Johnny & Muriel Johnson-Biggs. He was doing research at the time for his 1st book, "The Killing Skies." On the House is an easy read true crime book. Made flight to Italy go quickly.

[Florence · Rating 4 out of 5]

So far this book is good, fine okay. There is a lot of historic back fill in the begining. But over all seems to be an easy read.

[Rachel Knaak · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very well-written in my opinion. Doesn't glorify crime or the notoriety of the murder itself. Is fact-based with little to none of the opinion of the author or anyone else.