When You Love a Man Who Loves Himself

by W. Keith Campbell

Narcissistic men seem like the ultimate self-confident, attractive, charming individuals who are often the life of the party. The narcissist always knows the place to be and who to be seen with. His attention is initially very flattering, but eventually his behavior is he becomes aloof and controlling and may cheat. He still seems somewhat interested, however, and often makes enough nice gestures to maintain a girl's interest, leaving all but him to what is going on? The country's leading expert on narcissism, Dr. W. Keith Campbell, explains how to identify a narcissist, what it means to love a man who loves himself and how to break the cycle of dating men with this personality disorder.

Genres: Psychology

239 pages, Paperback

First published February 14, 2005

Reviews

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked the way the author explains concepts -- he really breaks them down and helps readers realize narcissistic patterns, why attraction develops, and how to work at breaking the cycle.

I learned that women ruminate after breakups with narcissists because things about the relationship didn't make sense, and the human brain struggles to make sense of the nonsensical. (I've definitely found this to be the case from my personal experience!)

The last chapter was great because it explained some societal factors that have contributed to the rising number of narcissists. I never realized how certain environments (like college campuses, big cities, and retirement homes) are ideal for narcissists to thrive because they have large pools of women to prey on.

Also, I liked the parable at the end about the frog and the scorpion. I'm going to have to keep reminding myself that narcissists are scorpions -- it's in their nature to sting. It was eye-opening to me that the author keeps telling readers never to make excuses for narcissists because they CHOSE to be the way that they are.

[Deirdre Cavener · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book I didn't want to like or recommend - that didn't work out ... it was therapeutic and a tremendous help. Our minds and hearts are often in conflict with one another and this book helps you "see" the truth. I was a character in many of the stories ... sadly.

If you are a single woman put this on your required reading list - regardless of your age!!!!

Recognizing narcissism is an emotional condom. Once you are "in" the relationship (should be wrongship) the road is hazardous and the destruction devastating. Like he says in the book ... don't buy the cake!!!!!!!!!!!! In like prince charming, out like a category 5 tornado.

What is it like to talk to a Narcissist? Get up from your chair and stand with your nose against the wall ... start talking ... that is about it in a nutshell ... the wall doesn't care, the wall doesn't contribute ... it will be all about the wall.

Read it ... strength training for your soul. Trust me, someone you know is a Narcissist ...

[Guera · Rating 4 out of 5]

this book has alot of research explained simply. it's a quick read and goes over patterns of behavior narcissist cling to. it takes you through exercises to identify if you are actually dealing with one. the book does a great job explaining how narcissists think and why they do what they do and if they are capable of change. the author uses great examples and stories to explain situations that you might fall into dealing with these types of people. if would highly recommend this book to anyone interested on the subject. the bibliography has alot of other sources of information.

[Helen · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a pretty good book of its type - self-help. There were some good insights and exercises and good explanation of why narcissistic men act the way they do. I found it helpful in thinking through experiences in my own life with men who might be narcissists.

I would recommend it to women who may be in relationships that seem inexplicably tortured, although there are many reasons why such relationships might be tumultuous.

The book is readable and up-to-date in terms of examples given, and also down-to-earth. It only took me about a week to read it, and I'm a fairly slow reader, so the simple style is conducive to fast reading.

This could be one book a woman could consult to gain some insight into the ups and downs of a relationship that may seem to be going nowhere. It's easy-to-read, and does seem to try to reach out to the reader to ask them to honestly evaluate where their relationship is at, and to consider acting on their insights.

[Karetchko]

I keep meaning to get a copy of this book. I used to go out with the author when I was in grad school. I never really expected him to have a self-help type book with pink on the cover, but narcissism was one of his areas of research so I guess it makes sense. I like the fact that wrote something accessible and potentially helpful...so often people in academics just write journal articles that no one but other academics would read.