“If I believe in anything, it’s us, alright?”
Theo took a deep breath and nodded. “Us,” he repeated.
i don’t know what magic is in this authors writing, because the books i was expecting to hate, i enjoyed, and the books i expected to enjoy, i was bored. while i don’t think this is on the same level as books 1 and 2, i found myself still feeling different to others who have read this.
i read all five books back to back, and while i didn’t love them all, i have no regrets on impulsively and randomly hopping on this series. book 1 remains my favorite, with book 2 surprisingly following in second, and this third one has become the top three.
i don’t have many mutuals who have read this, but from what i gathered, this story was full of miscommunication.
which is why i went into this hesitantly.
both characters have their necessary, long-awaited Talk at approximately the 52% mark. the first half is spent with hard glances, frowns, and ignored looks. theo is mad at rowan for reasons rowan doesn’t know; rowan wants to approach theo but doesn’t know how. in my opinion, rowan was the one who really tried, but theo kept ignoring him or making him the bad guy only, even though rowan was quite literally confused and unsure how to approach the situation because theo never really gave him a chance. their reasoning behind why they had their eight year separation after being called to their first professional team were nothing new, still petty ones filled with assumptions and simple miscommunication on (admittedly) both sides. still, while this does make the first half of the story, both men come to an agreement that both could’ve made better decisions.
and i think because the first two books had even more miscommunication and some silent treatment, this one didn’t feel like the the worst. the story offers absolutely nothing new, since this is second chance formed through miscommunication, which is unfortunately how many second chances romances go by. but when rowan and theo talk their feelings out, admitting their faults and realizing they could have, in fact, avoided this drama, they become friends again, connecting differently but agreeing to bond again. this saved us readers from even more drama, giving us a new friendship full of firsts and older memories instead. this really helped build up the relationship, since the second half is entirely spent between them going from friends and teammates to lovers again. there was no longer any silent treatment and unsure feelings. we see them develop a new relationship between each other, which i did appreciate. even though their discussion doesn’t make it till the second half, their friendship becomes tentative before that, so it still gives us more room to see the potential of a growing friendship despite the previous and future circumstances.
one of my favorite tropes is where mc1 takes care of mc2, and/or vice versa. both rowan and theo rekindle some feelings this way, where theo first takes care of rowan because he’s sick (kind of like the flu). theo begrudgingly agrees, but isn’t a big fan at first. there’s some argument and push and pull because he’s still upset with rowan, but he also can’t bring himself to not help his teammate. chronologically, this is the first scene where theo and rowan sort of make up, talking without a bad vibe around them.
“Am I hallucinating this?”
“What?”
“You smiling at me?”
“Shut up,” Theo said, a soft dismissal. “Just fulfilling duties from the captain.”
“I’m not kidding.”
“I’m glad you haven’t died on my watch. Coach would have my head.”
“Tooth hole is still cute,” Rowan said, reaching out to poke at the gap between Theo’s teeth like he did when they still loved each other.
“Alright, bud, focus on the soup, and not spilling it, please.”
shortly after, rowan takes care of theo after theo got busted pretty badly on the ice during a match. rowan says he owes him for what theo did but in reality rowan still likes theo, so of course he offers his support and help.
“What is happening?” Theo asked, downing half of his juice.
“We have a travel day. Tomorrow we play the Fame.”
“No, I mean, like, this.” He motioned between him and Rowan.
“You were hurt.”
“I gathered.”
“You were hurt, and...it wasn’t okay with me.”
“I am...really confused about this.”
“Okay.”
“Are you not?”
“I haven’t been thinking about it too hard. You needed someone. I’m fine with that being me. I want that to be me.”
“My head hurts too much to think this through.”
there’s still a little bit of awkwardness, since both young men are unsure where their comaredrie really lies, but they also can’t deny their true feelings any longer, even if they’re somewhat able to hide them. this is sort of used as a developing tool for their relationship. there’s more telling versus showing when it came to their new friendship, such as us being told what they’ve done together. in a way, this does help get a bigger understanding of where they are, as teammates and individuals with mutual feelings. just because they’ve acknowledged how they feel didn’t mean they went back to how old times were, forgetting the long gap in their life, and instead decided to fill it in a little before making more progress. i wholeheartedly appraciate this, since it gives a more realistic approach to their relationship. just because they were best friends before, they still spend eight years apart, not to mention how they hadn’t talked since then, and theo basically hated rowan even if he says he never did.
however, my enjoyment was clearly not that high, as seen by an average 3-star rating. i’ll say that i struggled a lot with the story at the beginning that i began to skim after the first quarter. i found myself uninterested and bored, with the characters and what the story was trying to get to. but upon my small skim fest, i made it to the 47% mark or so and came across some quotes that made me rethink my decision because i knew i would come to appreciate the scenes more had i read them with more proper care and interest. so i shamelessly went back to the 32% mark, because that’s where i started skimming; after chapter 13. and boy do i NOT regret my decision. i would have ended up losing important details. it really took some patience because the boredom didn’t last very long. however, i became bored again more towards the end, and it got to the point where i just wanted the story to end.
also, i do think the author could’ve done with more development, added more moments between the two to show a tentative care before they gave in to each other. even though i do think the author didn’t just make them forgive and forget right then and there, it still didn’t feel like there was enough development on its own. it would’ve helped to have added more uncertainty, more confusion, a slower journey of forgiveness. rowan and theo become friends again, sure, and they wanna make up for the lost time, but i still think the journey of forgiveness lacked substance. it felt a little too quick, as if the two didn’t have an 8-year long separation, after going from being best friends/secret lovers to not talking at all, to theo literally avoiding rowan at all costs despite living together, to the two suddenly admitting they “wanna do this right” (THIS as in get back together). a second chance romance doesn’t work that well for me without enough apprehension. just because they finally came to this realization of who they mean for each other and how they wanna do something about it does not make me believe their really long separation and lack of communication could have been solved so smoothly. one moment theo was avoiding rowan, and the next he accepted his avoidance was a bit redundant. it was not a full 360, but it still left me wondering why and how these thoughts came to be. as the reader, i can understand it on a logical level, but i failed to see it through a sympathizing perspective. i appreciate any and all moments post-feelings admittance, but i still didn’t think there was enough pre-feelings, if that makes sense.
and lastly, although i already said i think the reasoning behind the miscommunication was nothing new, i couldn’t connect with theo as much as rowan. to an extent, theo’s reasoning and thinking process made reasonable sense, considering his age, but i think holding a grudge like that for eight years was too much. admittedly, he’s the one who stops talking to rowan, even though rowan tried reaching out. long story short: theo basically accuses rowan of “abandoning” him when he goes to texas. theo basically couldn’t take all the talk of theo’s success anymore, projecting his jealousy and insecurities (at least that’s how i saw it) onto theo, and using that as an excuse to no longer talk to him. he blames rowan for their friendship ending, accusing rowan of not caring enough. rowan, thriving with his dream career, reaches out to theo, and while he does apparently talk about himself a lot, he still makes room to catch up on theo and what he’s been up to. however, he stops reaching out when he notices he’s not getting back responses, which is completely valid. i myself have done this with friendships, where i feel like the friend isn’t reciprocating and the friendship isn’t a two way thing. then theo tells rowan he basically no longer cared about him, claiming he abandoned him by going to texas, which i found super selfish because they both knew this was coming. rowan was bound to go to a big team, so instead of feeling happy and proud, theo doesn’t find it fair. how i saw it, even if rowan could have made better approaches in talking to theo, he still tried, and wanted to be there for theo however he could. but when he saw his so called best friend wasn’t giving him the same energy, he stopped talking, assuming theo needed space and would get back to rowan when the right time came. of course this led to miscommunication because they both thought different things. i think theo was the most at fault, completely. rowan is definitely the type of person that would have been open to being confronted, so if theo had said something, rowan would have known. but how was rowan supposed to know if he did something wrong when he was being ignored?
anyway, the story itself was enjoyable enough, but sadly this installment will not be a memorable one. the first two books definitely own a special place in my heart, but i’ll give it to this author for captivating me in her world and with her characters one way or another. i’m really excited for book 6 releasing next month (9/12). i didn’t find myself super annoyed with felix as others have, and i love a good neighbors to lovers story, so i’m excited.