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Full Frontal Stupidity
Humor columnist Barry Parham is back, launching his latest salvo of hilarious, thought-provoking, take-no-prisoners observations.
on being single...
"Single guys buy milk in small, manageable doses, as if they were bringing home work, or morals. It would never cross a single guy's mind to buy an entire gallon of anything, much less some expiring liquid that can mutate into something that smells like Detroit looks."
on auto racing...
"I'm the first to admit that racing takes talent ... not to mention bravery. But, there's bravery involved in putting your hand on a hot stove, too. Sadly, though, after you're done with the stove, there's nothing much left but discipline, and learning to write with your other hand."
on politics...
"Contestant #3 was unable to make it, but he did swing by and vote 'Present' so we would validate his parking, and he would like to remind our studio audience that was for showing up before he was against it."
Includes these award-winning stories!
Skirts vs. Skins
Scenes From a Maul
on being single...
"Single guys buy milk in small, manageable doses, as if they were bringing home work, or morals. It would never cross a single guy's mind to buy an entire gallon of anything, much less some expiring liquid that can mutate into something that smells like Detroit looks."
on auto racing...
"I'm the first to admit that racing takes talent ... not to mention bravery. But, there's bravery involved in putting your hand on a hot stove, too. Sadly, though, after you're done with the stove, there's nothing much left but discipline, and learning to write with your other hand."
on politics...
"Contestant #3 was unable to make it, but he did swing by and vote 'Present' so we would validate his parking, and he would like to remind our studio audience that was for showing up before he was against it."
Includes these award-winning stories!
Skirts vs. Skins
Scenes From a Maul
312 pages, Paperback
First published April 25, 2012
48 people want to read
About the author
Barry Parham
14 books31 followersBarry Parham is the award-winning author of humor columns, essays and short stories. He is a recovering software freelancer and a music fanatic.
Parham is the author of the 2009 sleeper, "Why I Hate Straws," his debut collection of humor and satire including the prize-winning stories, 'Going Green, Seeing Red' & 'Driving Miss Conception.'
In October 2010, Parham published "Sorry, We Can't Use Funny," another award-winning collection of general-topic satire and humor, and the more targeted "Blush: Politics and other unnatural acts." He followed up in 2011 with "The Middle-Age of Aquarius," a growing-old-but-not-so-gracefully vehicle for the award-winners 'Comfortably Dumb,' 'Snowblind' and 'The Zodiac Buzz-Killer.'
"Full Frontal Stupidity" (2012), Parham's 5th collection of humor, satire and observations, features more award-winning stories, including 'Skirts vs. Skins' and 'Scenes From a Maul.' He followed up the next year with a brace of collections, "Chariots of Ire" and "You Gonna Finish That Dragon?" and most recently published his 8th compilation, "Maybe It's Just Me."
Parham's work has also been featured in three national humor anthologies:
"My Funny Valentine" (2011)
"Open Doors: Fractured Fairy Tales" (2012)
"My Funny Major Medical" (2012)
Parham is the author of the 2009 sleeper, "Why I Hate Straws," his debut collection of humor and satire including the prize-winning stories, 'Going Green, Seeing Red' & 'Driving Miss Conception.'
In October 2010, Parham published "Sorry, We Can't Use Funny," another award-winning collection of general-topic satire and humor, and the more targeted "Blush: Politics and other unnatural acts." He followed up in 2011 with "The Middle-Age of Aquarius," a growing-old-but-not-so-gracefully vehicle for the award-winners 'Comfortably Dumb,' 'Snowblind' and 'The Zodiac Buzz-Killer.'
"Full Frontal Stupidity" (2012), Parham's 5th collection of humor, satire and observations, features more award-winning stories, including 'Skirts vs. Skins' and 'Scenes From a Maul.' He followed up the next year with a brace of collections, "Chariots of Ire" and "You Gonna Finish That Dragon?" and most recently published his 8th compilation, "Maybe It's Just Me."
Parham's work has also been featured in three national humor anthologies:
"My Funny Valentine" (2011)
"Open Doors: Fractured Fairy Tales" (2012)
"My Funny Major Medical" (2012)
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
May 2, 2012
Not bad, I suppose. But then, I wrote it.
December 1, 2013
My favorite moments felt like sarcastic emails from my witty friends, but I'd probably prefer reading these in weekly column form to all together in a book as they, at times, felt repetitive.
May 8, 2012
I waited with feigned patience for my copy of “Full Frontal Stupidity” to arrive. Each day when I heard the mail truck I went out to meet it. Then the day came. I walked out to the truck just as the postman was scanning a bubble wrap envelope. “Oh, I know what that is,” I said. “That’s the book I’ve been waiting on.”
“Oh, you’re going to read?” he asked.
I resisted the urge to say, “Oh heavens, no! I buy them there books and hold ‘em up to my forehead like Johnny Carson used to do when he did that Carmack the Magnificent thing. All I’m missin’ is a back tooth and a funny hat and cape like he had.”
That was the preamble to my tearing open the envelope and making preparations to settle in and read Barry Parham’s newest book, “Full Frontal Stupidity.” With the author’s “The Middle Age of Aquarius” already under my Carmack hat, I knew when I opened the book that I would have none of the answers to any of the questions and I would need lots of tissues for tear duct leakage.
I turned off the TV, tuned out the world and began a journey into the recesses of Barry Parham’s “take no prisoners” style of humor. The problem is that I’m not good at multi-tasking, ergo keeping my eyes open wide enough to read while laughing and rocking back and forth like Rosemary’s Baby was impossible. So putting the book down from time to time while I tried to regain some kind of composure was a must. And that was just while I read the first 62 pages, and by that time, tears were streaming down my face and dehydration was becoming a real possibility.
But the laughter didn’t stop there. “Great Colons in US History (Never underestimate a Queen & her money)” opened doors and took me places even Carmack wouldn’t have thought to go. And when Parham says, “Oh, it gets better,” take the necessary precautions and read on.
I must tell you, laughing like a person shedding a wrap-around blazer and breathing normally are two other functions I can’t perform simultaneously. Because of this lack of coordination, I lost touch with reality and maybe consciousness for a short time, while reading, “Chez Oog’s Raw Bar (A history lesson, including the first ever “Here, smell this.”): “Let me ask you something. At dinner parties, have you ever been offered any food that can also, for medicinal purposes, be shoved in a mule’s nose? I mean, lately?”
From ancient times, to Cristobal Colon (tee hee), to holius mackeralus, to cul de sac wind tunnels, to breast feeding coordinators, it’s a doggoned hysterical look back at the way it was and the way it is. A way to laugh at everything and most everyone, not use drugs and still hallucinate, learn to try and not make sense of anything that comes out of Congress or the present administration, and understand that “Full Frontal Stupidity” is universal. And because you can’t fix stupid, this book is your laugh guide to the future.
Thank you, Barry Parham, for this wonderful over-the-top hilarious book. I won’t even bill you for the breathing apparatus and coordinating inflatable laugh-o-monitor I had to purchase!
“Oh, you’re going to read?” he asked.
I resisted the urge to say, “Oh heavens, no! I buy them there books and hold ‘em up to my forehead like Johnny Carson used to do when he did that Carmack the Magnificent thing. All I’m missin’ is a back tooth and a funny hat and cape like he had.”
That was the preamble to my tearing open the envelope and making preparations to settle in and read Barry Parham’s newest book, “Full Frontal Stupidity.” With the author’s “The Middle Age of Aquarius” already under my Carmack hat, I knew when I opened the book that I would have none of the answers to any of the questions and I would need lots of tissues for tear duct leakage.
I turned off the TV, tuned out the world and began a journey into the recesses of Barry Parham’s “take no prisoners” style of humor. The problem is that I’m not good at multi-tasking, ergo keeping my eyes open wide enough to read while laughing and rocking back and forth like Rosemary’s Baby was impossible. So putting the book down from time to time while I tried to regain some kind of composure was a must. And that was just while I read the first 62 pages, and by that time, tears were streaming down my face and dehydration was becoming a real possibility.
But the laughter didn’t stop there. “Great Colons in US History (Never underestimate a Queen & her money)” opened doors and took me places even Carmack wouldn’t have thought to go. And when Parham says, “Oh, it gets better,” take the necessary precautions and read on.
I must tell you, laughing like a person shedding a wrap-around blazer and breathing normally are two other functions I can’t perform simultaneously. Because of this lack of coordination, I lost touch with reality and maybe consciousness for a short time, while reading, “Chez Oog’s Raw Bar (A history lesson, including the first ever “Here, smell this.”): “Let me ask you something. At dinner parties, have you ever been offered any food that can also, for medicinal purposes, be shoved in a mule’s nose? I mean, lately?”
From ancient times, to Cristobal Colon (tee hee), to holius mackeralus, to cul de sac wind tunnels, to breast feeding coordinators, it’s a doggoned hysterical look back at the way it was and the way it is. A way to laugh at everything and most everyone, not use drugs and still hallucinate, learn to try and not make sense of anything that comes out of Congress or the present administration, and understand that “Full Frontal Stupidity” is universal. And because you can’t fix stupid, this book is your laugh guide to the future.
Thank you, Barry Parham, for this wonderful over-the-top hilarious book. I won’t even bill you for the breathing apparatus and coordinating inflatable laugh-o-monitor I had to purchase!
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews