This is a difficult book to review. It could be a life-changing book for some readers, but it could be harmful to others. Some people need this book; some people should never read it.
The author has been rated as one of the top 10 influential pastors in the US. He writes well, is honest and real, and is Scripturally accurate.
But this is not a "religious" book or even a Bible study.
As a University student, I had no religious beliefs and was not even sure if God existed. I read widely and had an open mind, just wanting to learn the truth about everything. I took a Psychology course where one topic was taught in each 90-minute class. One long lecture was on forgiveness. I remember thinking that I had wasted 90 minutes of my life because the Bible which I had just started to read said the same thing in one sentence. Once I discovered that the Bible was accurate and concise in this one area, I began reading it for any other truth that I could find, deciding that I would receive anything that was truth and discard the rest. I thought that a lot of the Bible was mythology. After many years, I discovered that the Bible was true in everything as long as it was translated correctly.
This book talks about toxic behaviors, toxic emotions and toxic influences. The author gives many examples from real life. He also includes Scriptures but does not use them in a "preachy" way. He includes them almost as if he is quoting someone whom you know or respect like Einstein or Ghandi. So it is a very comfortable non-threatening book for someone who has had previous bad experiences with "religion".
I was not going to finish reading this book because it is written at a simple enough level that I thought it could not include something that I did not already know. But I am glad that I finished it.
Craig Groeschel is thorough. For example, I know that bitterness is dangerous and is a root that cannot be allowed in my life because it hurts me. But I think I ignored the end of the verse in Heb. 12:14-15 (see that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and hurt many -- my paraphrase). I never realized how bitterness would hurt others besides me. I would stop bitterness when I felt it, so I did not experience how it poisoned the atmosphere, relationships and the lives of others. This book is worth reading because of its thoroughness and insight.
It is simple and could easily be read using it as a study around the dinner table because its examples are easily understood even by young children.
But where this book falls short in my opinion is how it deals with people's toxic thoughts, behaviors and relationships.
As anyone who has struggled with a problem knows, it is sometimes not enough just to use will power or to be accountable to friends to stop these behaviors. To tell someone who is struggling with "self-cutting" or pornography or other serious issues described in the book just to stop with the help of friends is setting everyone up for failure and frustration. More than that, it is setting people up to feel like a failure, give up and think that even God can't help. Serious problems need more than will power; they need spiritual power.
Where this book falls short, in my opinion, is that the author tries so hard to not be "religious" that he tells people to ask God for help in some of these things without giving specific instructions on how to get the power of God inside them.
I know what it was like before I was born again to ask God for help in something. And I know what it was like after I had the power of God inside me. The first was difficult; the second was much easier. And after I was filled with the Holy Spirit, victories came much more easily often in minutes instead of months.
At the end of the book, he says that we need to acknowledge that we cannot keep the laws, we need a Savior, and we can get this only by faith. But he does not tell us how to do it. He says we need power but not will power. But he does not clearly lead people to a relationship with God. I can see many readers reading this book and feeling frustrated because they do not know how to make this final step.
To me, there are 3 levels of relationship with God: when God is on the outside, when He is on the inside, and when the person is filled with the Holy Spirit. Even the early church did not understand this, and disciples would ask new believers if they had received the Holy Spirit since the time that they were born again.
This is not being preachy. It is simply the difference between paddling a canoe across a lake, using a small outboard motor, or using twin 250 HP inboards. If you make the power available, the job is easier. Being filled with the Holy Spirit gives a person much easier victory over difficult addictions like pornography.
This is the reason that I was unsure how to rate this book. It is a good beginning, but it is like teaching a person everything about driving a car except where the ignition and accelerator are... this book can be valuable in the hands of someone who knows how to lead the reader to being born again and filled with the Holy Spirit.
But if you read this book and try to make the changes on your own power, you will probably fail and end up feeling condemned.
Becoming born again is an easy step, and one that should not have been omitted from this book. I feel that this book is very weak in this very important step. He says "Power, not Will Power" but he does not show very clearly how to get this power. Even a simple evangelistic magazine will include a few steps in a sidebar or a page at the end praying with the person. This is not a message that should be read "between the lines". It should be clear and concise.
It is like giving a person a list of ingredients but not telling him what to do with them. If you need clear instructions about whether to add dry ingredients to wet or wet to dry or what oven temperature to use, surely you deserve clear instructions about how to get the power of God inside your life. Step by step.