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Loving Well
Distance. Resentment. Avoidance. You want to love your family, your neighbors, and your coworkers well. But something goes wrong when you reach out to them, and you find yourself tearing down the relationships you wanted to build. Are you doomed to repeat this cycle forever? For most of us, certain unhealthy reactions feel natural and even inevitable. Unconsciously, we cling to what 1 Peter 1:18 calls the 'empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers.' But you are not doomed to repeat this cycle, according to William P. Smith, since Jesus came to redeem his people from such things. The destructive relationship patterns you learned before you met Christ no longer need to control how you live and interact with others. Instead, you can exchange the empty ways for new ones that promote deep unity and peacefulness - patterns that create satisfying and God-honoring relationships. A rich, practical relationship with Jesus enables you to develop rich, practical relationships with others in spite of your brokenness and theirs. Through Christ, you no longer have to do what you have always done. In short, you can learn to love well.
304 pages, Paperback
First published February 1, 2012
17 people are currently reading
265 people want to read
About the author
William P. Smith
45 books8 followersWilliam P. Smith, M.Div., PhD., is the director of counselling at Chelten Baptist Church, Dresher, PA., adjunct faculty at CCEF, and the author of many counselling articles and the book Caught off Guard: Encounters With the Unexpected God.
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
June 11, 2012
Loving well (even if you have not been) is to love that responds to a broken world, a Love that reaches out to build others up and a love that enjoys heaven on earth. First of all, we have to respond to the love of God. It is only as the realty of his love becomes my present experience that I will be more concerned about expressing my love to others than insisting they express theirs for me. In responding to the love of God, we study his word, obey him, because it is a extension of who he is. In reality, I think that frees us up to love others and be aware of their needs. Not an easy thing to do, it is a part of our sanctification. Our goal does not become living Happly ever after, but living well with broken people. Loving well is learning patience, getting messy, inconvenience, and paying attention. There is much to love because there is much to a great God. We make love small when we make it about us.
October 17, 2015
This book is really easy to read.
I particularly found the sections "Welcoming Love: Greet Each Other", "Running to Those Who Are Suffering", "Taking on Each Other's Sorrows" and "Confessing Our Temptations to Each Other". There are too many to list but those chapters has brought me to a realization on how I can love others better. I believe that this book covers so many aspects that there is bound to be a chapter which you find applicable to you. It is also good to note that each point is based on scripture.
Its also good because some of us (especially eq-less people) are lost when a friend is in tremendous sorrow or joy. This book teaches us the appropriate way to react (WWJD) so we can share these moments with our friends!
I particularly found the sections "Welcoming Love: Greet Each Other", "Running to Those Who Are Suffering", "Taking on Each Other's Sorrows" and "Confessing Our Temptations to Each Other". There are too many to list but those chapters has brought me to a realization on how I can love others better. I believe that this book covers so many aspects that there is bound to be a chapter which you find applicable to you. It is also good to note that each point is based on scripture.
Its also good because some of us (especially eq-less people) are lost when a friend is in tremendous sorrow or joy. This book teaches us the appropriate way to react (WWJD) so we can share these moments with our friends!
September 12, 2012
Dang! A must read! So encouraging and convicting all at the same time. The author does an excellent job of not only explaining how to love but he points us to the One who is love and reminds us of how He loves us. So challenging. Many chapters brought me to tears - either of conviction for my failures or of gratitude for His love! I will be re-reading this I am sure because I have much to learn!
March 17, 2022
Great book on sharing God’s love, used some of Jesus life experiences to show us how to love. Fresh perspective on Jesus being tempted
April 30, 2012
When I read the description of this book, I knew I had to read it. I must admit I had a difficult time reading Loving Well because it convicted me to the core. I have never read such an excellent book on the topic of loving others like this one. I found myself reading a sentence and then stopping to think about it. This book is full of scriptural content and wisdom. There is no fluff, only truth.
After reading this book, I realized I have not been loving others well at all. I've been a Christian for many years and yet, I have failed at loving well. This thoughtful book helped me to recognize, accept and learn "how to" love others.
The author investigates fifteen facets of the love we experience from God. He states it is in these ways that God invites us to mature as we relate to other people with love. "We can love other people only out of our own experience of being loved." (xxiii) He also gives examples on how we can learn to love others. After each chapter, there are four questions to ponder and answer. I found this part to be especially instrumental in helping me apply what I learned into my everyday life.
As I read this book, I underlined a lot of it, especially in Chapter 5: Longsuffering Love: Patiently Bearing with Each Other. There are so many nuggets to ruminate over in this chapter. I guess it is an area that I struggle with.
Here are a few excerpts that spoke to me:
"A necessary aspect of love, therefore, is learning to live patiently with people as they continue on their own journeys of learning to live more righteously. That's what loving well is all about: giving people the time and space they need as they grow." (Page 68)
"Living 'happily ever after' is not the goal. Living well with broken people is." (Page 70)
"The goal is not to find the latest, greatest way to turn people into model Christians but to love well the imperfect Christians in front of us." (Page 75)
"The reality is that even blood-bought, Holy Spirit-filled believers sin. They sin often and they often sin against you. Therefore, you need to bear as patiently with them as God does with you." (Page 78)
Loving Well is a very informative and well written book. I definitely want to read it again with the intention of studying it. I believe this book could be utilized as a textbook for schools, colleges and churches. I highly recommend this book to everyone, but especially those who work in ministry, such as counselors, pastors and teachers.
In conclusion, I want to thank Mr. Roberson from The B&B Media Group and New Growth Press for sending me a complimentary copy of Loving Well to read and review.
After reading this book, I realized I have not been loving others well at all. I've been a Christian for many years and yet, I have failed at loving well. This thoughtful book helped me to recognize, accept and learn "how to" love others.
The author investigates fifteen facets of the love we experience from God. He states it is in these ways that God invites us to mature as we relate to other people with love. "We can love other people only out of our own experience of being loved." (xxiii) He also gives examples on how we can learn to love others. After each chapter, there are four questions to ponder and answer. I found this part to be especially instrumental in helping me apply what I learned into my everyday life.
As I read this book, I underlined a lot of it, especially in Chapter 5: Longsuffering Love: Patiently Bearing with Each Other. There are so many nuggets to ruminate over in this chapter. I guess it is an area that I struggle with.
Here are a few excerpts that spoke to me:
"A necessary aspect of love, therefore, is learning to live patiently with people as they continue on their own journeys of learning to live more righteously. That's what loving well is all about: giving people the time and space they need as they grow." (Page 68)
"Living 'happily ever after' is not the goal. Living well with broken people is." (Page 70)
"The goal is not to find the latest, greatest way to turn people into model Christians but to love well the imperfect Christians in front of us." (Page 75)
"The reality is that even blood-bought, Holy Spirit-filled believers sin. They sin often and they often sin against you. Therefore, you need to bear as patiently with them as God does with you." (Page 78)
Loving Well is a very informative and well written book. I definitely want to read it again with the intention of studying it. I believe this book could be utilized as a textbook for schools, colleges and churches. I highly recommend this book to everyone, but especially those who work in ministry, such as counselors, pastors and teachers.
In conclusion, I want to thank Mr. Roberson from The B&B Media Group and New Growth Press for sending me a complimentary copy of Loving Well to read and review.
May 10, 2012
Smith’s book was released in 2012 by New Growth press. I saw it advertised, wanted to buy it, but had other financial priorities at the time. Then, one day a package arrived on my desk addressed for our former assistant pastor, John Banks. I contacted him and asked him what he wanted me to do.
He said to go ahead and open the books, and see what they were. Smith’s book was one of them. He told me to keep them and contact New Growth press and see if they wanted the books back. So I did. They told me that as long as I promised to blog about them, I could keep them.
First, let me say a hearty thanks to New Growth Press. I buy nearly everything they publish and read it. But it was nice to get the freebies! Second of all, let me tell you I love this book! Now let me explain why.
William Smith has done us all a favor by reminding us of the need we have to love. Even if our experience of human love has been deficient, our experience of divine love has not. This encourages us to press on in loving others well. I particularly enjoyed the frank reality of chapter 5 on longsuffering love. Anytime I read an author who says, “Nearly two years later, their marriage fell apart again. Life is like that, isn’t it? Very few of us – none of us – live fairy-tale endings (page 70)” I know I am in the presence of someone who has experienced the sting of counseling relationships that don’t end well. The honesty is refreshing, and this book is saturated with it. When the ideal is being upheld, you are told so. When the grit of grace is required, you’re told so. That connected with me.
Smith’s words speak truth, minister grace and provide hope by giving biblical insight into how love operates in our lives into the lives of others. If you have not yet read this book you should. If it is on your list, but not at or near the top, it should be. It will help you to show Christ’s love to others as he showed it to you.
He said to go ahead and open the books, and see what they were. Smith’s book was one of them. He told me to keep them and contact New Growth press and see if they wanted the books back. So I did. They told me that as long as I promised to blog about them, I could keep them.
First, let me say a hearty thanks to New Growth Press. I buy nearly everything they publish and read it. But it was nice to get the freebies! Second of all, let me tell you I love this book! Now let me explain why.
William Smith has done us all a favor by reminding us of the need we have to love. Even if our experience of human love has been deficient, our experience of divine love has not. This encourages us to press on in loving others well. I particularly enjoyed the frank reality of chapter 5 on longsuffering love. Anytime I read an author who says, “Nearly two years later, their marriage fell apart again. Life is like that, isn’t it? Very few of us – none of us – live fairy-tale endings (page 70)” I know I am in the presence of someone who has experienced the sting of counseling relationships that don’t end well. The honesty is refreshing, and this book is saturated with it. When the ideal is being upheld, you are told so. When the grit of grace is required, you’re told so. That connected with me.
Smith’s words speak truth, minister grace and provide hope by giving biblical insight into how love operates in our lives into the lives of others. If you have not yet read this book you should. If it is on your list, but not at or near the top, it should be. It will help you to show Christ’s love to others as he showed it to you.
May 13, 2012
What a powerful book, teaching us how to love like Jesus and the Father do even if we haven’t been! The author, William P. Smith gives a comprehensive review of love in his book, Loving Well: Even If You Haven’t Been.
As people, we try hard to love our neighbors, family, co-workers, and church family. Depending on how love was dysfunctionally demonstrated to you growing up, you more than likely will model the same type of love in your relationships–distance, resentment, silent treatment, avoidance, outburst of anger, etc.
The author brings us hope from God the Father through Jesus Christ. A relationship with Jesus Christ can help you overcome your destructive methods of relating by seeing in Scripture how God loves us. It also allows Him to help us love others like He loves us.
The book is divided into three parts:
Love That Responds to a Broken World–Comforting, Sympathetic, Struggling, Forgiving, and Long-suffering Love
Love That Reaches Out to Build Others Up–Partnering, Pursuing, Communicating, Serving, and Providing Love
Love That Enjoys Heaven on Earth–Welcoming, Humble, Celebrating, Peaceful, and Hospitable Love
I am overwhelmed (in a good way) for all the different lessons about and methods of loving that the author expounds on and what they look like. He is straightforward in each chapter, giving multiple examples to show you the destructive way versus the constructive way to demonstrate love.
This is a great resource book to keep on hand as a good reminder when one is stuck in a relationship. I’d recommend this book to every person living here on earth. It’s helpful to ascertain the different situations and how assimilate what you have learned.
Special thanks to Rick Roberson, The B&B Media Group for sending me a review copy in exchange for my honest review. No monetary compensation was exchanged.
As people, we try hard to love our neighbors, family, co-workers, and church family. Depending on how love was dysfunctionally demonstrated to you growing up, you more than likely will model the same type of love in your relationships–distance, resentment, silent treatment, avoidance, outburst of anger, etc.
The author brings us hope from God the Father through Jesus Christ. A relationship with Jesus Christ can help you overcome your destructive methods of relating by seeing in Scripture how God loves us. It also allows Him to help us love others like He loves us.
The book is divided into three parts:
Love That Responds to a Broken World–Comforting, Sympathetic, Struggling, Forgiving, and Long-suffering Love
Love That Reaches Out to Build Others Up–Partnering, Pursuing, Communicating, Serving, and Providing Love
Love That Enjoys Heaven on Earth–Welcoming, Humble, Celebrating, Peaceful, and Hospitable Love
I am overwhelmed (in a good way) for all the different lessons about and methods of loving that the author expounds on and what they look like. He is straightforward in each chapter, giving multiple examples to show you the destructive way versus the constructive way to demonstrate love.
This is a great resource book to keep on hand as a good reminder when one is stuck in a relationship. I’d recommend this book to every person living here on earth. It’s helpful to ascertain the different situations and how assimilate what you have learned.
Special thanks to Rick Roberson, The B&B Media Group for sending me a review copy in exchange for my honest review. No monetary compensation was exchanged.
May 11, 2012
Having not heard of this author before, I chose this book based upon it's subject matter-loving relationships. Love is a topic Christians hear tossed about frequently. And quite often I Corinthians 13 is used as the basis of talks about loving others in the Biblical sense. Yet I don't recall that familiar passage of scripture being used in William P. Smith's Loving Well. Although that verse was not used, Smith uses plenty of scriptures throughout the book and I Peter 1:18 serves as the building block to break us free from our empty-way of life toward building a foundation of love.
Smith reminds us that not only does Jesus serves as our model for authentic love but it is him, who empowers us to fulfill our mission to love. For me, the author provides a fresh perspective on love. Divided into three parts, the book delves into 15 characteristics of love such as forgiving, partnering, serving, welcoming, peaceful and hospital love. At times I found the book difficult to read not because it was not well written and biblical sound. Instead it was because I saw myself within the pages of this book. Challenged and convicted by how many times I have fallen short of loving well, I still walked away from the book with new insights and armed with practical ways to love better. By far this was one of the best books I have read on love.
Disclosure: I was provided a complimentary copy by The B&B Media Group as part of the First Wild Card Blog Tour. Views and opinions expressed are my own.
Smith reminds us that not only does Jesus serves as our model for authentic love but it is him, who empowers us to fulfill our mission to love. For me, the author provides a fresh perspective on love. Divided into three parts, the book delves into 15 characteristics of love such as forgiving, partnering, serving, welcoming, peaceful and hospital love. At times I found the book difficult to read not because it was not well written and biblical sound. Instead it was because I saw myself within the pages of this book. Challenged and convicted by how many times I have fallen short of loving well, I still walked away from the book with new insights and armed with practical ways to love better. By far this was one of the best books I have read on love.
Disclosure: I was provided a complimentary copy by The B&B Media Group as part of the First Wild Card Blog Tour. Views and opinions expressed are my own.
June 23, 2012
MY THOUGHTS ON THIS BOOK
Do you sometimes feel you create great relationships with other only to tear them down when something drastic happens? This book was a must for me because it happens just that way with me.
In his book, Loving Well, William Smith deals with this issue thoroughly, giving us the tools we need to change this in our lives. The author goes to God’s Word, the Bible to show us and teach us an all new way of living. One thing William Smith strives to do is to teach us love, and that we can love because we are being loved by God, or every-love and every-present Redeemer. In this book, the author so vividly shows us the power of God’s love, and how that love can transform us into the person who will love as we should.
I very highly recommend this book to everyone! Whom among us does not need to hear this! The layout of this book was done in a way that it could easily be used as a Bible study with small groups or Sunday school classes. Why not go out and grab a copy of this wonderful book that will show you just how strong and powerful the Love of God is!
This book was provided by New Growth Press through The B&B Media Group. I was not required or expected to write a positive review. The opinions in this review are mine alone.n when something
***Special thanks to Rick Roberson, The B&B Media Group for sending me a review copy.***
Do you sometimes feel you create great relationships with other only to tear them down when something drastic happens? This book was a must for me because it happens just that way with me.
In his book, Loving Well, William Smith deals with this issue thoroughly, giving us the tools we need to change this in our lives. The author goes to God’s Word, the Bible to show us and teach us an all new way of living. One thing William Smith strives to do is to teach us love, and that we can love because we are being loved by God, or every-love and every-present Redeemer. In this book, the author so vividly shows us the power of God’s love, and how that love can transform us into the person who will love as we should.
I very highly recommend this book to everyone! Whom among us does not need to hear this! The layout of this book was done in a way that it could easily be used as a Bible study with small groups or Sunday school classes. Why not go out and grab a copy of this wonderful book that will show you just how strong and powerful the Love of God is!
This book was provided by New Growth Press through The B&B Media Group. I was not required or expected to write a positive review. The opinions in this review are mine alone.n when something
***Special thanks to Rick Roberson, The B&B Media Group for sending me a review copy.***
February 14, 2013
This is an excellent book on the subject of loving others well. Written by a man who is both a pastor and licensed counselor, the book offers amazing insights into our relationship and the brokenness that we often find in the best of relationships. His frankness in dealing with our (and his) failures is refreshing. Although I have read many books on relationships, this is clearly one of the two or three best books I have read. Smith delves into the various types of love: serving love, humble love, sympathetic love, and so on. In doing so, he lays open our failures in these areas with the skill of a surgeon. But he does so lovingly, admitting even his own failures in these areas. This book contained numerous fresh insights into relationships that I had not seen previously addressed.
June 29, 2012
Excellent book that takes love out of the realm of abstraction, sentimentality, and theory and helps readers envision what it looks like in the crevices and complexities of daily life. Smith presents Jesus as the one who models and empowers other-oriented living in its various forms. Convicting? Yes. But more so, the author holds out sound biblical hope and instruction to those who realize we have not been loving well and want to do something about it, I so appreciate writers who honestly share their struggles as they point to Christ as our common hope. Smith is such an author.
November 5, 2014
Pluses: the practical application is superb. Some of the chapters were the most convicting I have read in a long time. The writing style is plain almost making me miss the profundity of the practical application.
Negatives: the wordiness of the book. There are simply too many stories. Also, it seemed like scripture was slotted in as an afterthought.
I have noticed a few NewGrowth Press books are very wordy. Super practical application when you can manage to wade through the prose.
Negatives: the wordiness of the book. There are simply too many stories. Also, it seemed like scripture was slotted in as an afterthought.
I have noticed a few NewGrowth Press books are very wordy. Super practical application when you can manage to wade through the prose.
December 19, 2012
http://thegospelcoalition.org/book-re...
The Gospel Coalition published the review I wrote of this wonderful book. Rather than repeat everything I said there, I posted the link above. Well done, Pastor Bill.
The Gospel Coalition published the review I wrote of this wonderful book. Rather than repeat everything I said there, I posted the link above. Well done, Pastor Bill.
April 23, 2012
I gave this five stars because I kept stopping in the middle of chapters and crying or apologizing to my kids or needing to email someone to ask for forgiveness or invite someone over to hang out.
September 9, 2012
Challenging in a way that is still very applicable to life. Probably need to read this once a year to re-evaluate how I treat those around me.
January 27, 2014
This book is really good.
Best chapters: 2, 3, 7, 11 and 15
Best chapters: 2, 3, 7, 11 and 15
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews