Save Your Marriage: Get Rid of Your Resentment

by Claire Hatch

“A great resource for therapists! Claire Hatch clearly demonstrates how buried resentment is a ticking time bomb for relationships and how to fix it. She takes readers through a step-by-step process to gain insight into their own feelings and then presents ways to approach husbands in a way that leads to understanding. For women who worry that resentment may be undermining their marriage, the gentle, reassuring tone and concrete steps in this book make it a valuable resource. A very beneficial, practical guide.”Clifton Mitchell, Ph.D., Trainer, Author -- Effective Techniques for Dealing with Highly Resistant Clients“Claire Hatch’s guide to saving your marriage is clear, concise and filled with practical action steps. If you are feeling disconnected in your relationship, chances are that there is a wall of resentment between you and your partner. Claire will help you deconstruct that wall one brick at a time.”Julia James, Life Coach, Author – The Mini-Retreat SolutionStockpiling resentments is a recipe for divorce, according to Seattle-area marriage counselor Claire Hatch, LICSW. Women especially struggle with resentment in their relationships. And they initiate two-thirds of divorces in America.Hatch shows readers how to unwind their resentments using her six-stage Cycle of Resentment model. She tells women exactly how to approach their husbands, handle defensiveness, and keep the conversation going in a positive direction. She also offers a downloadable companion workbook.It only takes an hour or two to read Save Your Get Rid of Your Resentment. It’s practical, to the point, and packs a lot of tools into a short read.Hatch brings warmth and humor to a tough subject. Her reassuring tone encourages readers to put her advice into practice, so they can say goodbye to resentment, get back the closeness they crave, and save their marriages.

Genres: Nonfiction

61 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 22, 2011

About the author

Claire first showed an interest in counseling when she volunteered on a crisis hotline for teenagers when she was fourteen. Now a licensed social worker, she maintains a private practice near Seattle and specializes in marriage counseling.

Her own happy marriage came as something of a surprise to her. She spent most of her life as a 'marriage skeptic,' possibly because her own parents divorced when she was four.

Above all, Claire knew she did not want to "settle" for a marriage that was just functional or companionable.

"Couples today, myself included, are looking for a high degree of connection in their marriages," says Claire.

Keeping a strong emotional connection alive is a tall order. It takes a higher degree of relationship skills than most of us have been taught. One of those skills is how to resolve resentments, hence Claire’s first book, Save Your Marriage: Get Rid of Your Resentments .

Claire says life with her software programmer husband has taught her at least as much about communication as her education has, though he is still waiting for her to learn C++.

Reviews

[Janette Fuller · Rating 5 out of 5]

Do you tend to give your spouse the "silent treatment" when you are upset? Do you mull the same old issue over a lot, building a tighter case against your partner as time goes by?

Marriage counselor Claire Hatch, author of "Save Your Marriage; Get Rid Of Your Resentment", believes that resentment could be undermining the closeness you want from your relationship. She explains how most resentments develop in a predictable cycle in this ebook.

The author defines "resentment" as anger that snowballs in your mind because you can't express your feelings and be understood. Either you try and get stuck in the blame game, or you've given up. This ebook is mostly for women who are afraid that resentment is sapping the life out of their marriage.

Ms. Hatch has identified a "resentment cycle" that explains how resentment really works. The following elements are included in the cycle of resentment;

Trigger event
Burning unmet desires
Negative conclusions
Painful feelings
Reactions
New desires

The author encourages the reader to print out a worksheet from her web site to work through each part of the cycle. This makes the woman aware of what is going on with her feelings before she talks to her spouse.

Ms. Hatch offers some very helpful communication tools to help the husband/wife learn to discuss their feelings in a successful manner. Many husbands will not be eager to talk about their feelings because they have been caught in the trap of not talking. The author gives many suggestions for healthy and productive communication between a husband and wife.

This book begins with a case study based on two couples that Ms. Hatch has counseled in her private practice. She does a very good job explaining exactly how resentment can drive a wedge between a couple and damage their marriage.

After explaining the problem, the author goes into a detailed explanation of the cycle of resentment and how to overcome it. She offers women many suggestions for communicating with their husbands in a way that will improve the relationship and make the couple feel close again.

Ms. Hatch provides practical, do-able advice in an easy-to-understand method. The strategies in this relatively short ebook can really make a difference in your marriage and your life. The price of this Kindle ebook is $0.99 ~ This is an incredible resource for the money. Highly recommended!

[VBergen · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book is easy to read and very organized. The book is useful to learn to communicate feelings with a concise method. The author states at the end of the book that she aims to "help you understand each other and your desires, so you can stay out of the Cycle of Resentment" but she doesn't go "into helping you figure out how to meet each other's desires better, or how to negotiate and compromise where the couple's desires differ".