The Great Ooflan From Corplop

by Charlie D. Weisman

A humorous tale of love, friendship, and overcoming life's greatest obstacles!

Charlando is sent to Earth as a baby to escape the clutches of a secret society of cannibalistic Ooflan on his home planet of Corplop. During his long years of isolation with nothing but his spaceship to talk to, he develops a fascination with love and romance. His belief that his soulmate awaits him on Earth is all that keeps him sane.

He arrives on a war-torn Earth to find Janet, a newly homeless alcoholic, blacked out on a park bench. Believing this to be his long-awaited soulmate, he pledges his undying devotion to her.

Janet, too drunk to understand the profound opportunity with which she has been presented, asks Charlando for a sandwich.

The pair depart from one another and embark on their own perilous adventures: Charlando on a mission to reunite with his beloved Janet, and Janet on a quest for inner peace in a world that is crumbling around her.

Genres: Science Fiction

235 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 11, 2023

About the author

Charlie D. Weisman was a bad kid. His teachers didn’t like him, and the other kids thought he smelled bad. In fact, the “D” in his name was often presumed to stand for “disappointment” or “disgusting”. To make matters worse, there was little hope that this disgusting disappointment would ever amount to anything. Little, but not none.

In a desperate attempt to scrape together social equity, Charlie became an engineer. He climbed the nerd-ladder, eventually securing a role in the research and development department of a wearable breast pump company. “I was at the cutting edge of boob-technology,” he once said. “I should have been at the top of the world, and yet I felt unfulfilled.”

He decided then and there to quit his job and travel the world while living in his car. He went far and wide, telling tales to all who would listen. Upon realizing nobody wanted to listen to his stories, he decided to write them down. And so it was that Charlie D. Weisman became an author.

Reviews

[Joseph Lee · Rating 2 out of 5]

This review was originally posted on SFF Insiders as part of SPSFC 4.

I went into this book thinking it could fit in as a Rick & Morty episode or something along those lines, and to some extent it is, though it wouldn’t be a particularly good episode. It’s got good bones about it—an alien comes to Earth believing he will find love, and falls in love at first sight. The setup is there for a lighthearted story about finding love beneath the surface, and to varying degrees it did elicit a chuckle or two from me.

Ultimately, though, the plot aims for “stupid but fun” but forgets the fun, with a very inane story and humor that’s more or less one big fart joke. The main character, Charlando, falls in love with literally the first person he encounters on Earth, and meanwhile, everyone on Earth falls in love with him because he smells so bad that it releases pheromones that cause uncontrolled affection…I guess? And also another character’s parents literally farted themselves to death, so…there’s that.

It’s an inoffensive story that didn’t really do much for me, but may be worth it for you if you want an off-brand Rick & Morty episode.

[Mikala · Rating 3 out of 5]

Depending on your perspective (remember the movie Bliss?), this could be a really deep and philosophical take on childhood trauma, alcoholic adult life and the recovery thereof. Or, if you're more cynical, this is a realistic and depressing look at the reality of everyone just trying to make it through another day.
Despite the title character, there's not much going on specific to an alien landing on this planet. I felt the plot had a lot going on - war on Earth, hippies (goddamn hippies!), the Captain America dude that quickly transforms from obnoxious to martyr in less than a page or two and sandwiches - oh, yea and the little green alien.

Content: alcohol use and abuse, patricide, cussing, mild homophobia, body shaming, war mentioned, prison

Representation: there's a chubby green alien and everyone else is cis, straight and likely white

Gift to: people who enjoy weird books and won't be upset by wandering, purposeless plots that try too hard to be funny and/or philosophical.

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Korinne Tande · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was probably like nothing I have ever read. It is humorous, thought provoking, philosophical, yet silly through and through. There are pretty clear examples of good and bad human behavior, yet, the author also includes bad behavior that is disguised as good behavior and vice versa. There were descriptions that made me laugh aloud, e.g., strong as horseradish and tender as corned beef. This book reminded me of an adult type fable because of the "lessons" being taught through the use of humor and exaggeration, e.g., toxic farts. I couldn't help but like the main character, Charlando. He is an alien and he wanders about earth trying to find the way home until he is taken prisoner by the military. Can his friend, Janet, save him? The ending surprised me. I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Manda Simas]

I read this for SPSFC4 for team SFF Insiders. I DNF’d the story at 15%. I am sure there is an extremely niche market out there for a book like this, but instead of leaning into comedy and keeping the odd leveled, it was like listening to punk middle graders talk about girls and farting while dealing with their self doubt. I think that maybe it could have been something, the prose was good, light and entertaining, the concept was interesting, but the characters and actual plot progression were lacking. I think that Weisman is a good writer, but I think might benefit from surveying the landscape and getting some really honest feedback next time around. Maybe in this case my progress was influenced by my personal preference, but it was tough for me to get to 15%. Our Rick and Morty fan teammate also read the book and was also left wanting. For me, love at first sight never felt so wrong.

[Sleepy D · Rating 1 out of 5]

Disclaimer - this was a Goodreads Giveaway win
I did not think this book was funny or particularly witty. It was not deep or thought provoking. It trundled along like the awkward alien and missed any real connections.
Maybe this was written by someone who has limited life experiences.
Maybe it will get edited and rewritten and what I read was a first draft.
The ability of a rotund alien's slime pheromones to conquer the earth with the help of a home schooled alcoholic orphan should have been funny. Or profound. It was just juvenile...including fart jokes.

[Andrea Davis · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall I enjoyed this story. It was a little silly and maybe too “cozy” for my personal preference, but it was unique and very sweet. There were some moments that were really deep and it was well written. I was thinking it was a 3.5 and was leaning towards a 4 but it ended so abruptly with some questions left unanswered. Slight spoiler-there was something at the very end of the first chapter that I thought was going to come back around but never did.

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Louisa Jones · Rating 3 out of 5]

What a confusing but enjoyable book!

I don’t know what grade to give this book. More than 3 stars, but less than four. About 3.5, so I’ll keep it at a 3.
Charlando was an interesting alien; although he looked like something that a cat would retch up, he had a good heart.
I don’t know what the story was trying to convey. When I finished the story, I felt like I had awakened from a strange, confusing, disjointed dream filled with slimy, green, disfigured aliens, motherly computerized spaceships, a criminally insane leaders of the world. Not a bad dream; just a confusing one.

[Ms Nay · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting Read

I won this book from Goodreads Giveaways. It is a story about alcoholism and undying love.
Alcoholism can be overcome. Love feels like it can conquer anything. When we decide to not judge others by the outside, the world becomes a more interesting place.

[CHud · Rating 1 out of 5]

Don't know why I picked this book. It rambles on and on about things that don't make any sense. Maybe there is symbolism in it, but I couldn't stay focused enough to pick up on it.

Time out of my life I'll never get back....

[Anne Kavcic · Rating 3 out of 5]

A curious combination of style for younger readers and philosophical passages which seem to be on a different level.

[Karla · Rating 3 out of 5]

**Goodreads Giveaway
Funny, good light-hearted quick read