When Good Kids Make Bad Choices: Help and Hope for Hurting Parents

by Elyse M. Fitzpatrick, James Newheiser, Laura Hendrickson

There is perhaps no greater fear in a parent's heart than the thought that a much-loved and well-cared-for child will make bad choices or even become a prodigal. What are parents to do in such circumstances? Authors Jim Newheiser and Elyse Fitzpatrick speak from years of personal experience as both parents and biblical counselors about how hurting parents can deal with the emotional trauma of when a child goes astray. They offer concrete hope and encouragement along with positive steps parents can take even in the most negative situations. Includes excellent advice from Dr. Laura Hendrickson regarding medicines commonly prescribed to problem children, and offers questions parents can ask pediatricians before using behavioral medications. A heartfelt and practical guide for parents.

Genres: Parenting, Counselling

224 pages, Paperback

First published March 1, 2005

About the author

Author of 20+ books on the Christian life and the gospel's impact on everyday living, Elyse is a frequent speaker at women's conferences nationally and internationally.

Elyse's ministry is summed up in these simple words: No fluff, No bricks, just the good news of a crucified and risen Christ.

In 1971 she married her sweetheart Phil and together they raised three children and are enjoying six really adorable grandchildren.

Together they attend Valley Center Community Church in the hills of the North County of San Diego where Phil is an elder.

Reviews

[Caroline Cobb · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have high hopes for reading books about teenagers because I love teenagers and think they have it tougher than we think a lot of the time. Maybe my hopes were too high? Or maybe this book really is just 3 stars worthy. I think it might be helpful if you have never spent time with teenagers. Sadly, the book might be as good as the cover 😵

[Lori · Rating 3 out of 5]

Received this book some time ago as a gift. Finally read most of it and skimmed the rest about special needs kids. If you have a child/teen making bad decisions, it might prove helpful to be reassured you have not messed up as a parent. The problem might be that if you have a young teen/older teen, you may not realize that they are on their way to making bad decisions until it's too late (in which case, if they are early adult, the book may not prove especially useful in retrospect). Didn't always find the theological statements to be what I believe, but still could be a helpful book for parents who have preteen and teens.

[Beth · Rating 4 out of 5]

I appreciate the authors' compassion and understanding toward families that are going through difficult times with children. Their own experiences of pain of a wayward child have enabled them to address this topic in a very sensitive manner. I believe it's a help to those who haven't experienced such trials at the time to be on their knees for their children realizing that one of the enemy's greatest pleasures is to destroy families. I certainly learned areas in my life where I could be a more effective parent.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was most encouraged with the last chapter of this book, "Your Great Hope". It helps put into perspective what I am going through and gets my focus where it ought to be, hope in Christ.

[Michelle Hensley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has some great guidelines for raising children.

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

very insightful

[Lobug · Rating 4 out of 5]

Seriously worth reading if you are a parent- even if you don't have major struggles with your kids. Good tips and advice and signs to watch for in the battle for the souls of our children.

[Merrily · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good advice for relationships in general

[Jeremy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Communicating hope to hurting parents and challenging them to fight for their kids using biblical strategies, this book is gracious and helpful. Along with Paul Tripp's Age of Opportunity, this book is great at identifying ways in which our parenting can be less than beneficial or even sinful in dealing with kids making bad choices. I appreciated how the authors made use of Scripture throughout the book to illustrate their points. One of the authors is a trained physician, psychiatrist and biblical counselor, so her perspectives on mental diagnoses and the medicines used to treat them was unique and insightful. The chapter on when a child might be asked to leave home was well thought through. This book would be helpful even if you weren't dealing with an extremely challenging child.

[JT Goodart · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really helpful book for navigating difficult situations with children and was ultimately a humbling reminder of the balance that we are called to be faithful and obedient, while not being ultimately in control of someone else’s actions, and trusting in the ultimate sovereignty of the Lord in all things.

[Yajaira Marmolejo · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book lost me after chapter 2. I felt like I was just listening to someone go on a tangent for hours when this topic could have been finished in 30mins. I think he could have said everything in half the length of the book.

[Elizabeth Aucoin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful book for thinking about rebellious kids and learning how to walk along side them. It has a few chapters on children who are also challenges because of mental disabilities. 3.8/5

[Andrew Jones · Rating 3 out of 5]

Solid gospel-centered parenting and counseling resource.

[Danna Dykema · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I would have read this sooner. As parents, we need help. Bringing in a 3rd party to help the parents and children see each other in proper perspective is helpful. Sometimes, it takes another voice in our lives to help us distinguish truth. Above all, no matter how bad we mess up, God can make any mess beautiful! Keep calling out to Him.

[Lynette Karg · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have read this before, but it was more personal this time. This is a really helpful book for Christian parents of wayward kids. It is not accusatory, but does encourage self-examination. There is much hope and help offered within these pages, applicable with those experiencing mild resistance to outright rebellion.