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When I Feel Red
'I feel like I'm always ... last. Like I'm running to try and keep up with everyone but it's no good.'
April has always marched to the beat of her own drum, but would life be easier if she learned to fit in? Now that she's in Year 8, things have got even worse. She's much more likely to be trying to rescue an animal in need than worrying about who's dating who at school, which April just finds BORING. Plus, her lessons feel like they're in a foreign language, and it suddenly seems impossible to make it through the week without landing in detention.
As family worries and classroom romances ramp up, it feels like everyone around her is pulling away - even her best friend Ben. But when the pressure's on, can she find a way to fit in and still be true to herself?
An empowering follow up to When I See Blue about finding your place in the world from the inspiring author and mental health activist, Lily Bailey. Perfect for fans of Elle McNicoll.
April has always marched to the beat of her own drum, but would life be easier if she learned to fit in? Now that she's in Year 8, things have got even worse. She's much more likely to be trying to rescue an animal in need than worrying about who's dating who at school, which April just finds BORING. Plus, her lessons feel like they're in a foreign language, and it suddenly seems impossible to make it through the week without landing in detention.
As family worries and classroom romances ramp up, it feels like everyone around her is pulling away - even her best friend Ben. But when the pressure's on, can she find a way to fit in and still be true to herself?
An empowering follow up to When I See Blue about finding your place in the world from the inspiring author and mental health activist, Lily Bailey. Perfect for fans of Elle McNicoll.
- GenresMiddle Grade
360 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 15, 2024
7 people are currently reading
92 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
February 19, 2024
I've Seen When I Feel Blue on twitter a lot but haven't read it so when this came up on Netgalley I had to read it.
April lives with her parents, they're both doctors (well surgeons actually) and so is her older brother, Thomas is a doctor too and he works for Doctors Without Borders so he is away a lot. She adores Olga, her mum's best friend who has been a part of her life for ever!
April is 12, she's in Year 8 at her her school and she likes to play make believe Animal Shelter. She watches Animal ICU a lot. She wants to work in or better still have her own animal shelter when she is older. Her parents think this means she wants to be a vet, but have they looked at her reports. April thinks that the brain cells had all been given to Thomas long before she came along. April is dyspraxic: her organisational skills are poor, she writes with a pencil because it's easier, she forgets things a lot. But she can draw!
Her best friend is Ben, he only joined the school at the beginning of y8 but they get on really well. Another reason to like Ben - he has a labrador called Bumble! April isn't allowed pets, they're all too busy and they live in a flat.
High school isn't easy for April. Her art teacher thinks everything should be about straight lines and perspective. He doesn't think April is any good.
And then there is Mrs Williams, just why does she hate April so much? April dreads her lessons, she is expected to do things that for April, with dyspraxia, are difficult. Try copying off the board when you can't read very well or spell the words without checking. She seems to want to humiliate April. But when she does and April sees RED...
She does have one nice teacher, he teaches Maths. And he introduces her to some books in the library of all places that she might like to read - not babyish ones but good ones that are easier for her. And they are about a girl called Bertha who lives in Victorian England and saves animals! But she spoils things with a picture of him...
The other issue with Y8 is that all the popular girls suddenly want to go out with boys. April doesn't! But they keep on at her to go on a date with them and their boyfriends and her with Ben! What is going on! April agrees but it doesn't go well and she hurts Ben.
Around April's story of high school subject issues is a story of a girl who loves animals. On a trip to the park with Ben and Bumble she saw a stray cat, which ran away. The next time April sees it she sees RED because some older children are trying to hurt it. April finds the cat again and again, befriending it slowly. Until she takes it home, but it's not well and she has to get help.
Can April sort things at school? And with her parents who are not happy with her behaviour. Perhaps Olga will make sense to April when no one else seems to be able to.
I really liked this book. It is so easy to get caught up in being someone that people want you to be and not yourself. April learns the hard way that she can be the better person, that she can see others also hurt. Good insight into the child's world of dyspraxia issues at school too. Definitely want this at school.
thanks to Hachette and NetGalleyUK for the ecopy.
April lives with her parents, they're both doctors (well surgeons actually) and so is her older brother, Thomas is a doctor too and he works for Doctors Without Borders so he is away a lot. She adores Olga, her mum's best friend who has been a part of her life for ever!
April is 12, she's in Year 8 at her her school and she likes to play make believe Animal Shelter. She watches Animal ICU a lot. She wants to work in or better still have her own animal shelter when she is older. Her parents think this means she wants to be a vet, but have they looked at her reports. April thinks that the brain cells had all been given to Thomas long before she came along. April is dyspraxic: her organisational skills are poor, she writes with a pencil because it's easier, she forgets things a lot. But she can draw!
Her best friend is Ben, he only joined the school at the beginning of y8 but they get on really well. Another reason to like Ben - he has a labrador called Bumble! April isn't allowed pets, they're all too busy and they live in a flat.
High school isn't easy for April. Her art teacher thinks everything should be about straight lines and perspective. He doesn't think April is any good.
And then there is Mrs Williams, just why does she hate April so much? April dreads her lessons, she is expected to do things that for April, with dyspraxia, are difficult. Try copying off the board when you can't read very well or spell the words without checking. She seems to want to humiliate April. But when she does and April sees RED...
She does have one nice teacher, he teaches Maths. And he introduces her to some books in the library of all places that she might like to read - not babyish ones but good ones that are easier for her. And they are about a girl called Bertha who lives in Victorian England and saves animals! But she spoils things with a picture of him...
The other issue with Y8 is that all the popular girls suddenly want to go out with boys. April doesn't! But they keep on at her to go on a date with them and their boyfriends and her with Ben! What is going on! April agrees but it doesn't go well and she hurts Ben.
Around April's story of high school subject issues is a story of a girl who loves animals. On a trip to the park with Ben and Bumble she saw a stray cat, which ran away. The next time April sees it she sees RED because some older children are trying to hurt it. April finds the cat again and again, befriending it slowly. Until she takes it home, but it's not well and she has to get help.
Can April sort things at school? And with her parents who are not happy with her behaviour. Perhaps Olga will make sense to April when no one else seems to be able to.
I really liked this book. It is so easy to get caught up in being someone that people want you to be and not yourself. April learns the hard way that she can be the better person, that she can see others also hurt. Good insight into the child's world of dyspraxia issues at school too. Definitely want this at school.
thanks to Hachette and NetGalleyUK for the ecopy.
February 5, 2024
I received an ARC from the publisher via NetGalley.
Having absolutely adored When I See Blue, I was so excited for When I Feel Red - that excitement was well worth it. I read this all in one sitting (despite having like 5 other half read books going at the moment)
This book is the perfect encapsulation of the mortifying, nightmarish experience that is year eight - it is one of the most relatable books I've ever read, April's confusion at everyone else getting crushes and trying to drag her into that swarm of teen feeling was basically my year eight experience too.
I also just loved getting April's POV and getting to to know her better. The beginning immersed in her animal rescue world was such a good book and I loved how her animal-loving nature was a key part of the story from the books recommended by Mr M to Flame.
Mr M is honestly a wonderful teacher, he was so sweet and supportive. I really enjoyed the depiction of school dynamics and how vastly different teachers can be - with Mr M & Mrs Jameel being supportive whilst Mrs Williams was not. I also liked how much April's emotions came into play and we're expressed realistically from her outbursts to her guilt and her joy in being praised at last, even if it's for being the class clown.
I really enjoyed the relationship with her parents too - just the reality of it being difficult to tell parents things until it builds up and is forced out, and the way often they're anger is misdirected fear and concern. There's a scene where April and her dad are talking and he mentions how his main issue is being upset she never told him about all the problems she was facing and it just really hit me because I've had so many similar kinds of conversations. I also LOVED the fact that April's parents takes ownership of their role in making her feel inadequate compared to her brother and that her mum actually apologised - just it's so important for adults (especially parents) to give their kids basic respect like that, and it's so important for kids to have books that feature that.
All in all I loved this book! The only thing I could've possibly liked from it that wasn't there was some kind of conversation at school about all teachers having to make the right accommodations for April, it would've been nice for more teachers than just Mr M to be giving her support.
Having absolutely adored When I See Blue, I was so excited for When I Feel Red - that excitement was well worth it. I read this all in one sitting (despite having like 5 other half read books going at the moment)
This book is the perfect encapsulation of the mortifying, nightmarish experience that is year eight - it is one of the most relatable books I've ever read, April's confusion at everyone else getting crushes and trying to drag her into that swarm of teen feeling was basically my year eight experience too.
I also just loved getting April's POV and getting to to know her better. The beginning immersed in her animal rescue world was such a good book and I loved how her animal-loving nature was a key part of the story from the books recommended by Mr M to Flame.
Mr M is honestly a wonderful teacher, he was so sweet and supportive. I really enjoyed the depiction of school dynamics and how vastly different teachers can be - with Mr M & Mrs Jameel being supportive whilst Mrs Williams was not. I also liked how much April's emotions came into play and we're expressed realistically from her outbursts to her guilt and her joy in being praised at last, even if it's for being the class clown.
I really enjoyed the relationship with her parents too - just the reality of it being difficult to tell parents things until it builds up and is forced out, and the way often they're anger is misdirected fear and concern. There's a scene where April and her dad are talking and he mentions how his main issue is being upset she never told him about all the problems she was facing and it just really hit me because I've had so many similar kinds of conversations. I also LOVED the fact that April's parents takes ownership of their role in making her feel inadequate compared to her brother and that her mum actually apologised - just it's so important for adults (especially parents) to give their kids basic respect like that, and it's so important for kids to have books that feature that.
All in all I loved this book! The only thing I could've possibly liked from it that wasn't there was some kind of conversation at school about all teachers having to make the right accommodations for April, it would've been nice for more teachers than just Mr M to be giving her support.
November 25, 2023
This is a really lovely book for all the young people (and more than a few adults) who are struggling to find their place in the world. If you have ever felt significantly out of step with your peers, this book will resonate.
April is finding it's difficult to cope with the challenges thrown up by Year 8. Not only does her dyspraxia involve specific and sometimes mysterious challenges with regard to her academic workload, the social aspects of school are also beginning to get to her.
Everyone seems obsessed with pairing up at a time when April is more concerned about animals in need and how passionate she feels about caring for them. Like the elusive tabby cat she has spotted on the streets, which is clearly in distress.
But some of her teachers could not care less about how April feels about anything. And with her parents and brother all being doctors and high achievers, it really brings home to her that she doesn't seem to belong anywhere, not even within her own family.
With even her relationship to best friend Ben in peril amidst to all the new changes, how will April cope with all the emotions - not least the sheer rage - swirling within her and occupying her heart and mind to the exclusion of most other things?
This was a delightful, easy read, and April is a highly relatable character even if you do not share her particular characteristics or challenges. Highly recommended.
I received a free copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review
April is finding it's difficult to cope with the challenges thrown up by Year 8. Not only does her dyspraxia involve specific and sometimes mysterious challenges with regard to her academic workload, the social aspects of school are also beginning to get to her.
Everyone seems obsessed with pairing up at a time when April is more concerned about animals in need and how passionate she feels about caring for them. Like the elusive tabby cat she has spotted on the streets, which is clearly in distress.
But some of her teachers could not care less about how April feels about anything. And with her parents and brother all being doctors and high achievers, it really brings home to her that she doesn't seem to belong anywhere, not even within her own family.
With even her relationship to best friend Ben in peril amidst to all the new changes, how will April cope with all the emotions - not least the sheer rage - swirling within her and occupying her heart and mind to the exclusion of most other things?
This was a delightful, easy read, and April is a highly relatable character even if you do not share her particular characteristics or challenges. Highly recommended.
I received a free copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review
June 19, 2024
I really enjoyed reading this book! I think Lily Bailey has done an excellent job at giving us the story from a young person's perspective, even more so a young girl, April, who is dyspraxic. As she's starting Year 8, April finds herself struggling with her learning (both in the classroom and with homework), managing her time and workload and to make matters worse, everyone around her seems to suddenly have romantic interests. April is feeling like she's always struggling to keep up and is definitely not emotionally ready to have a love interest. Her only solace is her friendship with Ben, who is very bright and even though he's got OCD, is a tremendous help and support in her daily tasks and life. But things get muddled up when she suddenly finds herself rising in popularity and forced to fit in with the rest of her peers.
I found April's voice to be very realistic as a neurodivergent young girl and I felt she was extremely likable. She gives such an amazing insight into what being dyspraxic looks and feels like and I couldn't help but feel for her when you add teenage hormones in the mix! I highly recommend this book, I think it's very respectful and not in the least patronising and I think that a lot of young readers will relate and see themselves in April.
Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for my review copy, all opinions are my own.
I found April's voice to be very realistic as a neurodivergent young girl and I felt she was extremely likable. She gives such an amazing insight into what being dyspraxic looks and feels like and I couldn't help but feel for her when you add teenage hormones in the mix! I highly recommend this book, I think it's very respectful and not in the least patronising and I think that a lot of young readers will relate and see themselves in April.
Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for my review copy, all opinions are my own.
December 31, 2023
I wanted to read this book as it sounded as though it would be a book that would resonate with my daughter and her difficulties at school. April’s challenges are different but a lot of her feelings and school experiences are very similar.
Written in an accessible style, this book covers a lot of different issues. There’s friendships, disabilities, identity, fitting in, anger and family.
For me the strongest part of the story was the school sections. April’s struggles with the teaching and the school environment really reflected how hard it was for some students to cope with how the education system is set up. It also highlighted how much some simple adjustments being made can really help these students.
Written in an accessible style, this book covers a lot of different issues. There’s friendships, disabilities, identity, fitting in, anger and family.
For me the strongest part of the story was the school sections. April’s struggles with the teaching and the school environment really reflected how hard it was for some students to cope with how the education system is set up. It also highlighted how much some simple adjustments being made can really help these students.
December 3, 2023
A fiction story for any teenager to enjoy. This is a book that should be in all school libraries. The main character is a young teenager struggling with growing up. She is a latch key kid to a great extent. She has been dyspraxia which adds a whole other dimension to her life. We see her struggles and how she reacts to the world of adolescent teenagers that surround her as she tries to make sense of the world and how she fits, or might fit, in the future. Thank you to Hachette Children’s Books and NetGalley for the ARC. The views expressed are all mine, freely given.
April 5, 2024
Bailey crafts a story that feels incredibly apt, personal and real. April is a wonderful MC that struggles with the societal expectations at her young age of 13. A follow on from 'When I see Blue', this tale is a brilliant representation of Dyspraxia, identity, mental tolls, family and dealing with our emotions. Year 8 is never easy, Aprils plight will feel relateable to many, both big and small. I think this is a perfect book for any confident readers aged 8+, and a key resource for any library.
March 17, 2024
I absolutely adored April in ‘When I See Blue’ and was thrilled that this new book was about her. I absolutely wasn’t disappointed, either. She’s a wonderful character whose voice is so well judged and emotive and you love her immediately (even if you haven’t read the first book). The book is beautifully written with fantastic characters and an underlying empathy which blew me away. I sobbed for the last couple of chapters - in the best way possible. LOVED it.
February 24, 2024
When I Feel Red tells the story of April, as she navigates the tricky ground of that transition from kid into teenager. Along with still playing with her toys while people at school are pairing up, April has dyspraxia, which makes things ever more difficult for her.
I really liked that there are characters in the book that have dyspraxia and OCD (her best friend, Ben), as it will hopefully encourage readers to feel seen if they experience the same things or encourage them to be empathetic towards others if they don't. I think the author did a brilliant job of showing the pressures of trying to conform for your peers. I thought the book would have more aspects of April dealing with her anger (mostly from the title) and when she did 'lose it', it seemed like it came out of nowhere a bit. I really liked the friendship between Ben and Lily and will now go back and read When I See Blue (Ben's story).
I think this maybe slightly too old to share with my Year 6 class but there may be a couple of children that are mature enough and would enjoy the teenage elements of it.
A great, read.
I really liked that there are characters in the book that have dyspraxia and OCD (her best friend, Ben), as it will hopefully encourage readers to feel seen if they experience the same things or encourage them to be empathetic towards others if they don't. I think the author did a brilliant job of showing the pressures of trying to conform for your peers. I thought the book would have more aspects of April dealing with her anger (mostly from the title) and when she did 'lose it', it seemed like it came out of nowhere a bit. I really liked the friendship between Ben and Lily and will now go back and read When I See Blue (Ben's story).
I think this maybe slightly too old to share with my Year 6 class but there may be a couple of children that are mature enough and would enjoy the teenage elements of it.
A great, read.
December 30, 2023
When I Feel Red by @LilyBaileyUK is a very touching story for anyone who feels like they don’t quite fit in with any crowd. Discussing the impact of #dyspraxia & the loneliness that comes with being an outsider looking in. Loved it, perfect for ages 10+!
February 16, 2024
Yet another amazing book by this author. It’s not easy going through the teenage years, made the little bit harder by having a special need. I just loved how she handled all of the topics eventually showing that just being you is enough!
February 28, 2024
4 ⭐️
A pretty heartwarming story about struggling to cope at school as a child. Feeling left behind, not knowing how to deal with things etc...
I'd recommend this for teenagers - it's "about finding your place in the world". It's got a number of funny remarks in it and such an easy read!
A pretty heartwarming story about struggling to cope at school as a child. Feeling left behind, not knowing how to deal with things etc...
I'd recommend this for teenagers - it's "about finding your place in the world". It's got a number of funny remarks in it and such an easy read!
April 13, 2024
i loved the author’s previous books but this one really disappointed me. i don’t really like to give bad reviews but it felt like a fanfiction of the previous book where all the characters aren’t quite right and the writing isn’t as good.
February 22, 2024
Another wonderful read by Lily Bailey, reflects our recent experience of school for kids who need a bit more support and how some teachers are amazing and others just make life harder.
March 24, 2024
Really good look into a young person's mental health and ways of thinking.
April 2, 2024
I love this book so much.I love how april finds flame and gets to keep her.
May 26, 2024
It got me bored very quickly.
June 13, 2024
A great kids book! My class loveddd When I See Blue and I’m sure they will love this too.
Lily Bailey is doing important work writing books like this for kids.
Lily Bailey is doing important work writing books like this for kids.
August 16, 2024
bailey is an amazing writer and really knows her stuff, i loved this and when i see blue
September 3, 2024
It shows the challenges people like April face and is an amazing read. I would definitely recommend it.
October 19, 2025
omg amazing srsly
I couldn’t stop reading and it relates to me as well!HONESTLY best book ever 5/5
Stars.NEED TO BUY RIGHT NOW
I couldn’t stop reading and it relates to me as well!HONESTLY best book ever 5/5
Stars.NEED TO BUY RIGHT NOW
December 29, 2023
When April starts year 8 at school, it seems like everyone else has changed and moved on to teenage angst and dating boys whilst she is still interested in Animal Rescue and imaginative play. Her dyspraxia is making her academic work challenging, her high achieving family and some unsupportive teachers making her think that she has nothing to offer. Her efforts to fit in lead to her jeopardising her relationship with her best friend and she doesn’t tell her parents how she is feeling.
Things come to a head when she rescues a sick stray kitten, starting a chain of events which help April to find her place in the world. I loved her passion for caring for animals, how she moved from self-doubt and feeling that she had nothing to offer to realising that she is valued and that she does have skills. I also loved that a kind librarian helped her find her passion for reading.
A great read for teens and pre-teens who worry about fitting in.
Thanks to Netgalley and the publishers for the ARC.
Things come to a head when she rescues a sick stray kitten, starting a chain of events which help April to find her place in the world. I loved her passion for caring for animals, how she moved from self-doubt and feeling that she had nothing to offer to realising that she is valued and that she does have skills. I also loved that a kind librarian helped her find her passion for reading.
A great read for teens and pre-teens who worry about fitting in.
Thanks to Netgalley and the publishers for the ARC.
November 26, 2024
Thank you to Hachette Children’s Books and NetGalley for the ARC!
I love finding books where I can relate to the characters, and When I Feel Red is definitely one of them. Being neurodivergent myself, I often struggle to relate to characters in books, but I found myself nodding along and relating to the experiences that April was going through in the book. Year 8 was when I really noticed I was different to my peers, and the way the book explains the problems she faced with her works and not fitting in really resonated with me. I loved the importance of animals in the book too, as it reminded me of my daughter who has a love of animals. Animals really can help us through things, and I loved April's journey through play with animals too.
I haven't read anything else from Lily Bailey, but I have already purchased her other book in this series (although can both be read as stand-alones) which follows another character in this book. I'm excited to delve into it and learn more about another character.
My rating is 3.5 (rounded to 4) stars for this book, and I think it is a book everyone should pick up and read! It was my favourite book of January.
I love finding books where I can relate to the characters, and When I Feel Red is definitely one of them. Being neurodivergent myself, I often struggle to relate to characters in books, but I found myself nodding along and relating to the experiences that April was going through in the book. Year 8 was when I really noticed I was different to my peers, and the way the book explains the problems she faced with her works and not fitting in really resonated with me. I loved the importance of animals in the book too, as it reminded me of my daughter who has a love of animals. Animals really can help us through things, and I loved April's journey through play with animals too.
I haven't read anything else from Lily Bailey, but I have already purchased her other book in this series (although can both be read as stand-alones) which follows another character in this book. I'm excited to delve into it and learn more about another character.
My rating is 3.5 (rounded to 4) stars for this book, and I think it is a book everyone should pick up and read! It was my favourite book of January.
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