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Reprobates of the Wastland #1
Take the All-Mart!
Brothers. Cyborgs. Con-men. Idiots. Roaring across a post-apocalyptic hellscape on the run from a jilted warlord queen in a mind-controlled muscle car, smooth-talking con-man cyborg Trip and his stoner brother Rudy make a quick stop in the Beer Capital of the Wasteland to rob it blind. But when they’re arrested and sentenced to death, they have no choice but to volunteer for a suicide mission into the monstrous All-Mart, an ever-expanding, Wasteland-devouring department store swarming with zombies, to rescue the daughter of a king. For fans of Mad Max, cyberpunk, and Hope and Crosby Road movies, Take the All-Mart! is the first exciting book in the Scoundrels of the Wasteland #1 - Take the All-Mart! #2 - We’re Going to War! #3 - Death From Above!
208 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 5, 2011
17 people are currently reading
106 people want to read
About the author
J.I. Greco
30 books16 followersJ.I.Greco—science fictionalist, aspiring reprobate, and gentleman curmudgeon—writes and doodles hunkered deep underground in a psychic-proof bunker while his wife, son, and indentured cats blithely frolic on the surface above in the post-apocalyptic wasteland that is southwestern Ohio. Rumors that he is a Writerbot Model 9000 robot have never been fully disproved.
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
June 6, 2011
Take the All Mart is a hilarious, fast-paced ride through the apocalypse. Your driver? A charming reprobate with an elephant pistol and a weakness for the fairer sex. The co-pilot? The driver's brother, who doubles as the lawyer and mechanic. The passengers? Each crazier than the last.
The story is light, full of adult humor, and highly enjoyable. The jokes range from clever to crude, and I was reminded at various times of Red Dwarf - the main character is very Lister-like in his appeal.
If there's going to be an apocalypse, it's better with sex, drugs, and free beer.
The story is light, full of adult humor, and highly enjoyable. The jokes range from clever to crude, and I was reminded at various times of Red Dwarf - the main character is very Lister-like in his appeal.
If there's going to be an apocalypse, it's better with sex, drugs, and free beer.
September 11, 2011
One part Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, one-half part Shaun of the Dead, one part Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and one part…ah hell, this is already breaking down. Let’s try this a different way.
J.I. Greco’s TAKE THE ALL-MART is simple enjoyable fun. So strap yourself in, plant your tongue firmly in your cheek and get ready for a ride.
The story itself is a pretty crazy blend of a post apocalyptic future, inhabited by zombies and classic muscle cars. The prose is a quality brand of over-the-top gonzo fun. And the jokes are more hits than misses. There’s nothing particularly moving or life-changing here but if you picked up TAKE THE ALL-MART, looking for a piece of consciousness raising, tear jerking, mind bending speculative fiction, all I have to say is: You didn’t read the description, did you?
On the down side, it did seem a bit short. But that’s really not so bad, because there’s a fine line between too short and too long, and a book that feels too short at the end I can generally read multiple times. Whereas a book that feels too long, well, it’s just too long and who wants to read MOBY DICK once a year.
I’m going to wrap this review up faster than usual by saying simply; if you’re in the mood / looking for a fun-loving, entertaining, and (mostly) light-hearted jaunt through a ruined future, this is a great choice.
[-150to+ 50] Professionalism (Cover/Formatting/Editing): 50 Tribbles
[-100to+150] Characterizations: 100 Tribbles
[-100to+150] Plot/Pace: 100 Tribbles
[-100to+150] Writing/Prose: 150 Tribbles
Total: 400 Tribbles
Note: I received a free copy of this book for review purposes
J.I. Greco’s TAKE THE ALL-MART is simple enjoyable fun. So strap yourself in, plant your tongue firmly in your cheek and get ready for a ride.
The story itself is a pretty crazy blend of a post apocalyptic future, inhabited by zombies and classic muscle cars. The prose is a quality brand of over-the-top gonzo fun. And the jokes are more hits than misses. There’s nothing particularly moving or life-changing here but if you picked up TAKE THE ALL-MART, looking for a piece of consciousness raising, tear jerking, mind bending speculative fiction, all I have to say is: You didn’t read the description, did you?
On the down side, it did seem a bit short. But that’s really not so bad, because there’s a fine line between too short and too long, and a book that feels too short at the end I can generally read multiple times. Whereas a book that feels too long, well, it’s just too long and who wants to read MOBY DICK once a year.
I’m going to wrap this review up faster than usual by saying simply; if you’re in the mood / looking for a fun-loving, entertaining, and (mostly) light-hearted jaunt through a ruined future, this is a great choice.
[-150to+ 50] Professionalism (Cover/Formatting/Editing): 50 Tribbles
[-100to+150] Characterizations: 100 Tribbles
[-100to+150] Plot/Pace: 100 Tribbles
[-100to+150] Writing/Prose: 150 Tribbles
Total: 400 Tribbles
Note: I received a free copy of this book for review purposes
December 12, 2020
A fun post-apocalyptic romp!
This is the second book from Greco I’ve read - he’s got a talent for writing fast paced action-oriented plots balanced with a good amount of character development and great world-building. The pop culture references run a bit thick in this one, but it fits the characters.
This is the second book from Greco I’ve read - he’s got a talent for writing fast paced action-oriented plots balanced with a good amount of character development and great world-building. The pop culture references run a bit thick in this one, but it fits the characters.
July 20, 2012
A fun little book with some very creative ideas, an interesting concept. The All-Mart becoming a hungry, sentient mega-factory of nanobots which turns all raw materials in its path into product and all people in its path into zombie associates, shoppers or security.
I know that the author was attempting to project the tone of the flippant action hero who scoffs cluelessly at danger, but Trip and Rudy (the main characters) are poorly developed. I want to like Trip, but it is hard to understand his motivation and viewpoint in the world created by the author. For the first half of the book, I had trouble differentiating between Trip and Rudy in dialog and action.
Some of the ideas and the vivid detail he paints of the world he presents are wonderful:
* The WOLFpack of networked cannibalistic “Magnums” inspired by Magnum P.I. led by a “Higgins” complete with prissy English accents.
* I love the use of Shatner as a substitute for “God” and nice other pop-culture twists to the language “Rumsfelded”
* The Sisters of No Mercy – A sect devoted to sex and debauchery as their spiritual practice. Sort of like Bizzaro nuns.
It has some of the standard faire of a cyberpunk novel, a souped-up car that can be controlled via thought. Jacking in directly to computers and other people via a wetware interface, a smart-ass robot (who is stashed in the trunk of the car) etc.
The book is laugh out-loud funny in places and keeps the reader engaged, but the ending seems forced and the conflict with the All-Mart seems to be resolved a bit too easily. The capabilities of the “Festering Wound” the protagonists’ ’73 Dodge Swinger also are kind of kept close to the vest, allowing the author the liberty to provide a convenient Deux-ex-machina escape at the end of the book. If the car is that powerful, how did these 2 clowns manage to build and maintain it, and where are all of the other reprobates with similar vehicles? And why isn’t the All-Mart better prepared for them? I think the All-Mart as a “villain” is underused and not insidious or challenging enough. It is one thing for Trip and Rudy to charge into it with no fear, but it is quite another when they come face-to-face with its power. This is a force of nature that can only be stopped with a nuclear blast, even though “Central” is curious about Trip and Rudy, they shouldn’t be able to escape so quickly and easily. I think the conflict in the novel could be intensified without taking away from the adventurous, humorous tone of the book.
I found a few minor typos and the use of incorrect words, but the dialog is snappy and the colorful imagination of the author shines through in the text. I think the novel could benefit by lengthening it a bit and taking a little more time to explore and explain the world the reprobates live in and the rules that govern it. Why doesn’t the constant state of drunkenness,THC high and drug use impair the ability of the Trip and Rudy to navigate the Wound and plan their actions? Why is Trip and Rudy’s wasteland tech superior to that of the all-powerful All-Mart? I think as a reader the premise would be easier to swallow with a little more background info woven into the narrative.
All in all it is an enjoyable leisure read as long as you go into the book understanding what it is and like this kind of book.
I know that the author was attempting to project the tone of the flippant action hero who scoffs cluelessly at danger, but Trip and Rudy (the main characters) are poorly developed. I want to like Trip, but it is hard to understand his motivation and viewpoint in the world created by the author. For the first half of the book, I had trouble differentiating between Trip and Rudy in dialog and action.
Some of the ideas and the vivid detail he paints of the world he presents are wonderful:
* The WOLFpack of networked cannibalistic “Magnums” inspired by Magnum P.I. led by a “Higgins” complete with prissy English accents.
* I love the use of Shatner as a substitute for “God” and nice other pop-culture twists to the language “Rumsfelded”
* The Sisters of No Mercy – A sect devoted to sex and debauchery as their spiritual practice. Sort of like Bizzaro nuns.
It has some of the standard faire of a cyberpunk novel, a souped-up car that can be controlled via thought. Jacking in directly to computers and other people via a wetware interface, a smart-ass robot (who is stashed in the trunk of the car) etc.
The book is laugh out-loud funny in places and keeps the reader engaged, but the ending seems forced and the conflict with the All-Mart seems to be resolved a bit too easily. The capabilities of the “Festering Wound” the protagonists’ ’73 Dodge Swinger also are kind of kept close to the vest, allowing the author the liberty to provide a convenient Deux-ex-machina escape at the end of the book. If the car is that powerful, how did these 2 clowns manage to build and maintain it, and where are all of the other reprobates with similar vehicles? And why isn’t the All-Mart better prepared for them? I think the All-Mart as a “villain” is underused and not insidious or challenging enough. It is one thing for Trip and Rudy to charge into it with no fear, but it is quite another when they come face-to-face with its power. This is a force of nature that can only be stopped with a nuclear blast, even though “Central” is curious about Trip and Rudy, they shouldn’t be able to escape so quickly and easily. I think the conflict in the novel could be intensified without taking away from the adventurous, humorous tone of the book.
I found a few minor typos and the use of incorrect words, but the dialog is snappy and the colorful imagination of the author shines through in the text. I think the novel could benefit by lengthening it a bit and taking a little more time to explore and explain the world the reprobates live in and the rules that govern it. Why doesn’t the constant state of drunkenness,THC high and drug use impair the ability of the Trip and Rudy to navigate the Wound and plan their actions? Why is Trip and Rudy’s wasteland tech superior to that of the all-powerful All-Mart? I think as a reader the premise would be easier to swallow with a little more background info woven into the narrative.
All in all it is an enjoyable leisure read as long as you go into the book understanding what it is and like this kind of book.
April 23, 2012
The story starts out with Trip and Rudy on the run from the WOLFpack. Basically a gang that is wired into their leader that is sitting in the back seat of the Wound, Trip and Rudy’s vehicle. The plan to run into an All-Mart, a giant store/factory that is continually growing, claims everything in its way, and turns people to zombies. After negotiating with the WOLFpack, they are off on their next adventure.
They decide to go to Shunk. There they find that the main commodity is beer and the locals seem way to honest and friendly. They share everything and don’t even have a bank, just a vault in the beer factory. This looks like the easiest heist that Trip and Rudy have done in a while. But Trip runs into Roxanne, a nun of the No Mercy Order. This delays the heist then they run into complications.
Roxanne ends up running late for the worshipping of the All-Mart! after her night with Trip. The other girls of No Mercy don’t really believe in worshipping the All-Mart! but the mother superior does so they are all out. But something goes wrong and they are all sucked into the All-Mart! Trip steps up and volunteers to save them and get out of being hung for the heist.
This was an interesting read. I admit that when I first started reading it I was wondering if I should continue. This is an interesting story with jacks where people can plug into vehicles, free beer that is more plentiful than water, nuns that practice sex and drug use, a giant super store that takes control of other super stores, and everything in between.
It was a quick read and kept me entertained enough to finish it. But I admit that it is not one of the books I generally read and can’t really recommend this. It wasn’t a horrible story but not one that is really worth wasting any time on.
I received this book for free from Book Rooster in exchange for an honest opinion.
They decide to go to Shunk. There they find that the main commodity is beer and the locals seem way to honest and friendly. They share everything and don’t even have a bank, just a vault in the beer factory. This looks like the easiest heist that Trip and Rudy have done in a while. But Trip runs into Roxanne, a nun of the No Mercy Order. This delays the heist then they run into complications.
Roxanne ends up running late for the worshipping of the All-Mart! after her night with Trip. The other girls of No Mercy don’t really believe in worshipping the All-Mart! but the mother superior does so they are all out. But something goes wrong and they are all sucked into the All-Mart! Trip steps up and volunteers to save them and get out of being hung for the heist.
This was an interesting read. I admit that when I first started reading it I was wondering if I should continue. This is an interesting story with jacks where people can plug into vehicles, free beer that is more plentiful than water, nuns that practice sex and drug use, a giant super store that takes control of other super stores, and everything in between.
It was a quick read and kept me entertained enough to finish it. But I admit that it is not one of the books I generally read and can’t really recommend this. It wasn’t a horrible story but not one that is really worth wasting any time on.
I received this book for free from Book Rooster in exchange for an honest opinion.
March 14, 2013
This short novel follows the exploits of Trip and Rudy as they roam a post-apocalyptic America in their armored, nuclear-powered, antique Dodge.
The main characters aren’t likeable. They’re thieves and conmen. They’re sexist, sex-obsessed, buffoons who are perpetually high, or drunk, or both. Their only redeeming quality is that they are not worse. They don’t kick puppies, well, not that we know, although one did kick a cat.
They are funny, though, but in a vulgar, base kind of way. They are clowns to be laughed at rather than identified with, and the humor relies on sex, drugs, guns, zombies, and lots of beer. The banter between the characters as they interact with these things can be quite entertaining in a juvenile sort of way.
The setting is imaginative, and there are clever, satirical bits, like the self-expanding mega store used as a weapon that creates zombie associates and shoppers, and the Sisters of No Mercy, nuns who seem to regard sex as a sacrament.
I’m a bit torn about this book. It’s quite good for what it is—crude, juvenile humor. It’s just that this particular type of comedy has limited appeal to me, personally. I tired of it quickly, but I can recommend it for those who like this kind of thing.
The main characters aren’t likeable. They’re thieves and conmen. They’re sexist, sex-obsessed, buffoons who are perpetually high, or drunk, or both. Their only redeeming quality is that they are not worse. They don’t kick puppies, well, not that we know, although one did kick a cat.
They are funny, though, but in a vulgar, base kind of way. They are clowns to be laughed at rather than identified with, and the humor relies on sex, drugs, guns, zombies, and lots of beer. The banter between the characters as they interact with these things can be quite entertaining in a juvenile sort of way.
The setting is imaginative, and there are clever, satirical bits, like the self-expanding mega store used as a weapon that creates zombie associates and shoppers, and the Sisters of No Mercy, nuns who seem to regard sex as a sacrament.
I’m a bit torn about this book. It’s quite good for what it is—crude, juvenile humor. It’s just that this particular type of comedy has limited appeal to me, personally. I tired of it quickly, but I can recommend it for those who like this kind of thing.
April 25, 2013
Well, it wasn't a bad book. Let's get that out of the way. I got it for my Kindle at about the same time I got Post-Apocalyptic Nomadic Warriors by Benjamin Wallace. Wallace's book was fun and played with the conventions the way I like. This one? Not so much. I found it a little disorganized (I didn't know the two main characters were brothers until well over halfway through the book), and they didn't seem to be worth caring much about. Older brother Trip is a jerk, younger brother Rudy is a pothead of sorts (more like a pot stomach...don't ask), and would be more likeable except Trip is set up as the book's hero.
As it is, I read through it fairly quick, but am not much interested in any more of Greco's work.
As it is, I read through it fairly quick, but am not much interested in any more of Greco's work.
August 25, 2011
What a hoot! I hope to read more from this author! His website is a hilarious read too. He is caustic in a good way, kind of like Trip!
All-Mart throws a bunch of different genres into our face within the characters themselves. Including, but not limited to a Sean of the Dead style zombie run, for karma's sake of course, some Gibson style jacking in that is the cause of this, patent leather clad nuns, THC implants and let's not forget the defamation of William Shatner and Vishnu on a continuous basis.
This is a fast paced read, full of the an interesting take on an alternate future perhaps? Or perhaps one man's very creative way of throwing a WHAT if I did this with Trip and Rudy? PLUS their fashion sense is to DIE for!
All-Mart throws a bunch of different genres into our face within the characters themselves. Including, but not limited to a Sean of the Dead style zombie run, for karma's sake of course, some Gibson style jacking in that is the cause of this, patent leather clad nuns, THC implants and let's not forget the defamation of William Shatner and Vishnu on a continuous basis.
This is a fast paced read, full of the an interesting take on an alternate future perhaps? Or perhaps one man's very creative way of throwing a WHAT if I did this with Trip and Rudy? PLUS their fashion sense is to DIE for!
December 7, 2011
This book has an interesting take on zombies...with a bit of social commentary thrown in. I thought the pace was pretty good, the character development was reasonable, the humor not so much as funny as clever and the plot was one of a kind. I think this is the first in the series and that explains the untidy ending. I think I would have liked a little more back-story on the "heroes" love interest.
Now the flaw- how did our hero end up so adept at kicking butt- well it fit in the story so I wont read too much into it but it did bug me slightly.
All in all- a fun read.
Now the flaw- how did our hero end up so adept at kicking butt- well it fit in the story so I wont read too much into it but it did bug me slightly.
All in all- a fun read.
September 2, 2011
This book is a rip roaring ride of good fun from beginning to end. Greco is sort of my new favorite author to stalk. So far I haven't read anything of his that I didn't like.
Comedic horror is so hard to do, but Greco does it well and with a flair for cultural puns and hilarious references that tickles my smirk.
Comedic horror is so hard to do, but Greco does it well and with a flair for cultural puns and hilarious references that tickles my smirk.
August 7, 2014
My full Take the AllMart audiobook review can be found at Audiobook Reviewer.
January 4, 2012
Inventive, winking, unpredictable, and raunchy. This was the first book I ever bought based on the free Kindle sample, and I wasn't disappointed.
May 20, 2012
This is a pretty funny novel that reminded me of a NSFW Hitchhikers Guide kind of writing style. The dialog between the two main characters had me laughing and the deep satire grabbed me.
June 11, 2012
Silly little book. Fast Paced.
July 28, 2012
Funny.
January 8, 2014
Toss Mad Max, zombies, cyberpunk, nanopunk, and a big helping of snark into a blender. Set on "turbo."
Highly entertaining, and I finished it in two sittings.
Highly entertaining, and I finished it in two sittings.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews