Needs another good fleshing out. No pun intended.
Definitely a different read. Granted there are some very hot erotic scenes, but it reads more like a technical manual, as it should. This is an introductory work for those who are or could be interested in the alternative lifestyle of BDSM.
Cons
There are a lot of grammatical issues with the story.
1)The word had adds noting. It turns active sentences into passive. An easy fix
2) Many sentences are run-ons. They either need semicolons are should be two separate sentences Ex: Tonight when he’d picker he r up for dinner, his #### hardened at seeing her in a sexy pencils shirts, heels, a low cut top and her hair down.
Her face mere inches from his, her eyes begged him for more, but he hesitated. Rushing to pleasure a woman was never a good idea; he was more into teasing, tantalizing, making them beg.
There are many more like this. A good editor could clean all this up with little effort.
Other times, things that are a given are stated rather than letting the reader’s imagination take the reigns.
Ex:
“He wanted beneath her clothes.” This is a book of erotic thus, I believe that is a given.
Another one, “Spread out your towels at the edge of the bed…..” There are only two people in this scene. Who else’s towels would they be? Which brings up another common mistake. When there are only two people engaging in action, it isn’t necessary to constantly keep calling them by name. If so, then there is something wrong with the writing.
Last note on punctuation
EX: “Don’t move, I’ll be right back, just close your eyes and relax.” Make it either two sentences or use a semicolon.
There are another ten issues like the above and occasionally there is a misspelled word. This is too many for such a short read.
Please find an editor and give the work its just do.
Three star push