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The Untold Want
A professional life hitting all the highs is poor compensation for a personal life hitting all the lows. Myles Winston is divorced, isolated in a cocoon of loneliness when he's not at work, and adrift in a sea of despondency with no idea how to break out of the rut. Then a chance encounter with Davion, an old school friend, brings back such visceral memories of their “experimentation” that Myles finds himself pursuing a secret affair with him. But Myles is still struggling with his fear that he may be a disappointment to his parents, and he must be true to himself before he can step into the light of day and reach out for what he truly wants—Davion in his arms forever.
122 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 29, 2011
4 people are currently reading
170 people want to read
About the author
Catt Ford
33 books207 followersCatt Ford lives in front of the computer monitor, in another world where her imaginary gay friends obey her every command.
She likes cats, chocolate, swing dancing, sleeping, Monty Python, Aussie friends, being silly, spinning other realities with words, and sea glass. She dislikes caterpillars, cigarette smoke, and rude people who think the F-word (as in faggot, or bundle of sticks) is acceptable.
A frustrated perfectionist, she comforts herself with the legend about the weavers of Persian rugs always including one mistake so as not to anger the gods, although she has no need to include a mistake on purpose. One always slips through. Writing fiction has filled a need for clever conversations, only possible when one is in control of both sides, and erotic romances, where everything for the most part turns out happily ever after.
Visit Catt's blog at http://catt-ford.livejournal.com/.
She likes cats, chocolate, swing dancing, sleeping, Monty Python, Aussie friends, being silly, spinning other realities with words, and sea glass. She dislikes caterpillars, cigarette smoke, and rude people who think the F-word (as in faggot, or bundle of sticks) is acceptable.
A frustrated perfectionist, she comforts herself with the legend about the weavers of Persian rugs always including one mistake so as not to anger the gods, although she has no need to include a mistake on purpose. One always slips through. Writing fiction has filled a need for clever conversations, only possible when one is in control of both sides, and erotic romances, where everything for the most part turns out happily ever after.
Visit Catt's blog at http://catt-ford.livejournal.com/.
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
June 2, 2011
I believe you can count the number of African American M/M Romance books on one hand. When I read the description for the “The Untold Want,” I rushed with delight to purchase a copy for my kindle.
I started reading with expectations since I have read a few articles on black males on the downlow. The first thing I noticed, Myles Winston no longer resides in the black community. The setting therefore signals a change in perspective. He’s almost 40 years old, a successful investment adviser, owner of his financial consultant firm. After his divorce, Myles holes up in a one-room studio apartment. He lives vicariously through his financial profession. In contrast, his personal life is in the cesspool. Stagnant. Non-existence socially. Myles has hammered himself into a square box with the lid firmly closed. I feel for most of his life, he’s never been happy man.
Myles goes to an art gallery to purchase pictures for his bare office walls. He’s does so because his snarky and wonderful admin, Tanshia, hang ups a Thomas Kinkade, which prompts him to fulfill his promise of ten month ago. While at the gallery, he sees a painting that stops him cold. A reflection of his past in living color. The details conjure suppressed memories of him and Davion having gay sex under the bleachers. The gallery owner invites Myles to the opening before he can release the painting Myles purchase. At the opening, Myles reconnects with Davion, the painter, and his high school friend with fringe benefits.
Can I tell you Davion is just lovely. He’s black and a proud gay man long out of the closet. His character is great for highlighting Myles’ hang-ups; to show contrast between the two lovers.
The Untold Want is a well written story told within the constraints of the story framework. The tone, speech patterns, attitude are appropriate for the story. At first, I couldn’t warm up to Myles. I had a bit of time believing he’d suppressed his nature for 20 years. But then I realized this is realistic. There are true stories out there of men coming to term with their sexuality late in life. It’s the impediment of the black culture with its premium on the black male masculinity, as well as the ideal that being gay is a white’s man disease. That gay is faggoty.
Those demons aren’t as devastating as they once were. Besides, Myles lives outside the community. It his own perception and of his parents, he must put to rest.
What you will not find in the story, black men on the downlow who have sex with men and have a wife or girlfriend. These men do not consider themselves as gay. You will not find a preacher spewing hell fire and damnation.
Originally posted here:
http://niciasus.com/blog/2011/06/02/r...
I started reading with expectations since I have read a few articles on black males on the downlow. The first thing I noticed, Myles Winston no longer resides in the black community. The setting therefore signals a change in perspective. He’s almost 40 years old, a successful investment adviser, owner of his financial consultant firm. After his divorce, Myles holes up in a one-room studio apartment. He lives vicariously through his financial profession. In contrast, his personal life is in the cesspool. Stagnant. Non-existence socially. Myles has hammered himself into a square box with the lid firmly closed. I feel for most of his life, he’s never been happy man.
Myles goes to an art gallery to purchase pictures for his bare office walls. He’s does so because his snarky and wonderful admin, Tanshia, hang ups a Thomas Kinkade, which prompts him to fulfill his promise of ten month ago. While at the gallery, he sees a painting that stops him cold. A reflection of his past in living color. The details conjure suppressed memories of him and Davion having gay sex under the bleachers. The gallery owner invites Myles to the opening before he can release the painting Myles purchase. At the opening, Myles reconnects with Davion, the painter, and his high school friend with fringe benefits.
Can I tell you Davion is just lovely. He’s black and a proud gay man long out of the closet. His character is great for highlighting Myles’ hang-ups; to show contrast between the two lovers.
The Untold Want is a well written story told within the constraints of the story framework. The tone, speech patterns, attitude are appropriate for the story. At first, I couldn’t warm up to Myles. I had a bit of time believing he’d suppressed his nature for 20 years. But then I realized this is realistic. There are true stories out there of men coming to term with their sexuality late in life. It’s the impediment of the black culture with its premium on the black male masculinity, as well as the ideal that being gay is a white’s man disease. That gay is faggoty.
Those demons aren’t as devastating as they once were. Besides, Myles lives outside the community. It his own perception and of his parents, he must put to rest.
What you will not find in the story, black men on the downlow who have sex with men and have a wife or girlfriend. These men do not consider themselves as gay. You will not find a preacher spewing hell fire and damnation.
Originally posted here:
http://niciasus.com/blog/2011/06/02/r...
May 16, 2017
I've had this on my Kindle for quite some time and while looking for more M/M romances with PoC leads, someone in the Goodreads M/M romance group mentioned it.
Like most genres, M/M romance isn't as inclusive as it should be, and that's a problem. Young PoC who may be queer or non-binary need to see themselves reflected positively in the media they consume. I guess I hold this genre to a higher standard because they (supposedly) understood this about White queer and non-binary folk.
The irony being that a great deal of queer sensibility is derived from PoC, especially queer Black men. Madonna may have made vogueing mainstream, but it was Black, Latino and Afro-Latino queer men and the 'drag balls' who invented it, in spaces they could flourish. And nothing irritates me more than the attempted erasure of queer heroines like Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera.
Long before M/M romance became the juggernaut it is, I was reading Black queer authors like the late E. Lynn Harris, Essex Hemphill, James Baldwin and Melvin Dixon who wrote about the Black and queer experience. Most M/M readers have never heard of them, save for Baldwin.
Anyway...
For a short read, author Catt Ford hits the right notes about the struggles Black queer men face in the community. Myles is the face of Black men forced by custom, religion and even racism, to live a double life. So closeted, Myles throws himself into the fast-paced, high stakes world of Wall Street. He marries, then divorces. His life is one of pretending to be who he is not. He also lives with the real fear his family would never accept his gayness.
Davion, his best friend and first experience from high school, is a fairly successful artist who is out and proud. He's 'fam' and has no time nor interest in hiding. Meeting Myles at his gallery showing (after Myles purchased two of his evocative paintings) opens up old feelings. The sex between them is sweeter, hotter and I loved how Davion shut Myles down about the fact that he enjoys bottoming, saying in essence that his masculinity is still very much intact.
What I truly loved (besides Myles' Grandmother Mimi and his secretary Tanisha - I won't deduct points for the stereotypical name fail because I liked her character a lot - and it's always great when the female characters aren't treated like evil harpies standing in the way of true love) was both Myles and Davion were upper class, successful Black men. We don't see enough of that regardless of orientation in real life, much less in fiction. Because of the length, it felt that everything was wrapped up quickly, and I would have liked to have met Davion's family. This definitely deserves a part two - Myles still has a ways to go and a lot of unlearning to do, but Davion will be right there.
Like most genres, M/M romance isn't as inclusive as it should be, and that's a problem. Young PoC who may be queer or non-binary need to see themselves reflected positively in the media they consume. I guess I hold this genre to a higher standard because they (supposedly) understood this about White queer and non-binary folk.
The irony being that a great deal of queer sensibility is derived from PoC, especially queer Black men. Madonna may have made vogueing mainstream, but it was Black, Latino and Afro-Latino queer men and the 'drag balls' who invented it, in spaces they could flourish. And nothing irritates me more than the attempted erasure of queer heroines like Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera.
Long before M/M romance became the juggernaut it is, I was reading Black queer authors like the late E. Lynn Harris, Essex Hemphill, James Baldwin and Melvin Dixon who wrote about the Black and queer experience. Most M/M readers have never heard of them, save for Baldwin.
Anyway...
For a short read, author Catt Ford hits the right notes about the struggles Black queer men face in the community. Myles is the face of Black men forced by custom, religion and even racism, to live a double life. So closeted, Myles throws himself into the fast-paced, high stakes world of Wall Street. He marries, then divorces. His life is one of pretending to be who he is not. He also lives with the real fear his family would never accept his gayness.
Davion, his best friend and first experience from high school, is a fairly successful artist who is out and proud. He's 'fam' and has no time nor interest in hiding. Meeting Myles at his gallery showing (after Myles purchased two of his evocative paintings) opens up old feelings. The sex between them is sweeter, hotter and I loved how Davion shut Myles down about the fact that he enjoys bottoming, saying in essence that his masculinity is still very much intact.
What I truly loved (besides Myles' Grandmother Mimi and his secretary Tanisha - I won't deduct points for the stereotypical name fail because I liked her character a lot - and it's always great when the female characters aren't treated like evil harpies standing in the way of true love) was both Myles and Davion were upper class, successful Black men. We don't see enough of that regardless of orientation in real life, much less in fiction. Because of the length, it felt that everything was wrapped up quickly, and I would have liked to have met Davion's family. This definitely deserves a part two - Myles still has a ways to go and a lot of unlearning to do, but Davion will be right there.
July 7, 2011
3.5 stars
Nicely written story with interesting characters. One is deeply closeted but when he meets his former high school love he finally finds the strength/courage to be himself. Loved the grandma in this story!
Nicely written story with interesting characters. One is deeply closeted but when he meets his former high school love he finally finds the strength/courage to be himself. Loved the grandma in this story!
April 20, 2011
The Untold Want is a compelling story about Myles Winston, a deep-in-the-closet African American businessman who meets up again with his high school hook-up Davion at an art galley that is showing Davion’s work. Myles betrayed Davion while they were in high school refusing to acknowledge their relationship, but now that Myles has Davion back in his life again will he fall into old patterns?
Catt Ford takes a very provocative look into the African American community and some of the prejudices it has about being gay and a black man. While Myles is hesitant about coming out to his family, afraid of the consequences, Davion is equally determined not to allow Myles to use him again and demands his lover accept himself and their relationship. As I read the novella, I sympathized with Davion, who despite loving Myles, could not be pushed back into the closet again or sneak around with Myles on the down-low. And while the character of Myles wasn’t as sympathetic as Davion, the author was able to convey Myles in a way that didn’t make you hate him. He was just a confused, torn and frightened man, and in the end you were rooting for him to pull his head out of his butt and go and get his man!
I applaud Ms. Ford for tackling this story, as I don’t think there are many m/m romances that featured two black men as the protagonists and this diversity is a welcome addition to the genre. I absolutely enjoyed this book and would love to see Myles and Davion again in the future.
Dark Divas Reviews
Catt Ford takes a very provocative look into the African American community and some of the prejudices it has about being gay and a black man. While Myles is hesitant about coming out to his family, afraid of the consequences, Davion is equally determined not to allow Myles to use him again and demands his lover accept himself and their relationship. As I read the novella, I sympathized with Davion, who despite loving Myles, could not be pushed back into the closet again or sneak around with Myles on the down-low. And while the character of Myles wasn’t as sympathetic as Davion, the author was able to convey Myles in a way that didn’t make you hate him. He was just a confused, torn and frightened man, and in the end you were rooting for him to pull his head out of his butt and go and get his man!
I applaud Ms. Ford for tackling this story, as I don’t think there are many m/m romances that featured two black men as the protagonists and this diversity is a welcome addition to the genre. I absolutely enjoyed this book and would love to see Myles and Davion again in the future.
Dark Divas Reviews
April 29, 2011
Sometimes your first love is the one you can’t forget. That’s what financial expert Myles finds when he discovers his childhood lover is now a successful artist. Myles is moved, not only by Davion’s art but by the striking resemblence he bears to many of the models. When the old lovers finally meet again, sparks fly and neither is willing to walk away. Yet Myles’ fear of coming out just may drive them apart once again.
The Untold Want is a lovely, well written romance. The two main characters are black and their speech and actions reflect not only the attitude but the culture as well. This plays into Myles’ fear of coming out and his worry about disappointing his parents. These details are wonderful additions and add a nice fresh twist to a familiar story. Likewise the sex scenes between the two men are smoking hot and add some nice variety. There is nothing dull about this story and it keeps your interest from beginning to end.
The writing is very good and every character, even the secondary ones, is fleshed out and three-dimensional. From Myles’ humorous assistant to the gallery owner, even Myles’ parents and grandmother are interesting on their own and add a lot to the story. The length is perfect and leaves you satisfied without needing more. The only bump in the otherwise smooth pace is the ending feels rushed and too easy, however that’s unlikely to bother most readers.
The Untold Want stands out from the sea of romances for the good writing and in depth characters. The story may be familiar in many ways but still feels fresh and different. The romance will satisfy fans while the erotica delivers on all levels. Despite a few quibbles, this is definitely a story I’d recommend.
originally posted at http://whippedcream2.blogspot.com/201...
The Untold Want is a lovely, well written romance. The two main characters are black and their speech and actions reflect not only the attitude but the culture as well. This plays into Myles’ fear of coming out and his worry about disappointing his parents. These details are wonderful additions and add a nice fresh twist to a familiar story. Likewise the sex scenes between the two men are smoking hot and add some nice variety. There is nothing dull about this story and it keeps your interest from beginning to end.
The writing is very good and every character, even the secondary ones, is fleshed out and three-dimensional. From Myles’ humorous assistant to the gallery owner, even Myles’ parents and grandmother are interesting on their own and add a lot to the story. The length is perfect and leaves you satisfied without needing more. The only bump in the otherwise smooth pace is the ending feels rushed and too easy, however that’s unlikely to bother most readers.
The Untold Want stands out from the sea of romances for the good writing and in depth characters. The story may be familiar in many ways but still feels fresh and different. The romance will satisfy fans while the erotica delivers on all levels. Despite a few quibbles, this is definitely a story I’d recommend.
originally posted at http://whippedcream2.blogspot.com/201...
October 5, 2013
I have to give props to Catt Ford for writing this book featuring two gay, black men. In the m/m genre you don't find too many that feature a black couple. Much appreciation Catt!
Now Myles never endeared himself to me; I didn't like him. I liked Davion, Tarnisha, Mimi, and Kolahi. This book made me ask the question
Now Myles never endeared himself to me; I didn't like him. I liked Davion, Tarnisha, Mimi, and Kolahi. This book made me ask the question
April 12, 2011
Untold Want is a nice, well written romance filled with interesting characters and some very nice diversity. Catt Ford always delivers satisfying stories and Untold Want is more of the same with some nice texture and situations, yet remaining a light easy read. Some of the conflict and tension is too easily resolved which negates the intended impact but overall this is an easy story to recommend for those looking for a classic plot with engaging characters.
The plot revolves around newly divorced financial expert Myles. While at a gallery to buy art for his new office Myles discovers that his first childhood love is an artist now. The two men reconnect and though Myles is in denial about his sexual orientation, the chemistry between the two can’t be stopped. Davion gives Myles hope for the future and something to fight for, forcing Myles to take stock of his life and choices.
The story follows pretty familiar lines from start to finish but diverges with some interesting characters. Both Myles and Davion are black, a choice rarely seen in this genre so adding in hints of the culture, dialogue, and relationships makes for nice texture among a very familiar story. Myles shines as a confused, closeted man that is aware of his longings and desires but firmly believes they shouldn’t exist. He’s used to ignoring and tamping down that side of his personality. He’s highly motivated by parental approval and fears his mother’s disappointment more than anything else.
Davion is less well developed due to the focus on Myles. As the third person narrator, Myles’ struggle and conflict – both internal and external – drives the story. He’s the star and his desire for Davion is a motivating factor but Davion’s thoughts and desires are less developed. However, the chemistry between Myles and Davion sparks immediately and never stops. There are a lot of sex scenes but these are integral to how and why Myles makes his decisions. In some ways this feels too easy and too close to sex curing all problems. I’m not sure I really believe that after 40 years of hiding and denying his nature that the choices Myles makes are true and as easy as they seem to come. It’s a nice idea and certainly romantic but a little too easy for me.
Similarly the conflict with Myles’ family is a little too easy. The tension is well set up and extremely believable, the dialogue and setting all combine to offer a realistic look at someone struggling to find himself and what that means. So it’s unfortunate that the resolutions come off so easy and flat. I honestly just expected more from all the inherent conflict and even the unspoken tension. That’s not to say the story is bad, just remains light and without the intense impact the story seems to be striving for.
Overall I’d still recommend this story because it’s interesting, fun to read and keeps your attention. The story is well suited to the shorter novella length but I wish the ending and resolutions hadn’t been so easy and light. However each reader is different so decide for yourself.
The plot revolves around newly divorced financial expert Myles. While at a gallery to buy art for his new office Myles discovers that his first childhood love is an artist now. The two men reconnect and though Myles is in denial about his sexual orientation, the chemistry between the two can’t be stopped. Davion gives Myles hope for the future and something to fight for, forcing Myles to take stock of his life and choices.
The story follows pretty familiar lines from start to finish but diverges with some interesting characters. Both Myles and Davion are black, a choice rarely seen in this genre so adding in hints of the culture, dialogue, and relationships makes for nice texture among a very familiar story. Myles shines as a confused, closeted man that is aware of his longings and desires but firmly believes they shouldn’t exist. He’s used to ignoring and tamping down that side of his personality. He’s highly motivated by parental approval and fears his mother’s disappointment more than anything else.
Davion is less well developed due to the focus on Myles. As the third person narrator, Myles’ struggle and conflict – both internal and external – drives the story. He’s the star and his desire for Davion is a motivating factor but Davion’s thoughts and desires are less developed. However, the chemistry between Myles and Davion sparks immediately and never stops. There are a lot of sex scenes but these are integral to how and why Myles makes his decisions. In some ways this feels too easy and too close to sex curing all problems. I’m not sure I really believe that after 40 years of hiding and denying his nature that the choices Myles makes are true and as easy as they seem to come. It’s a nice idea and certainly romantic but a little too easy for me.
Similarly the conflict with Myles’ family is a little too easy. The tension is well set up and extremely believable, the dialogue and setting all combine to offer a realistic look at someone struggling to find himself and what that means. So it’s unfortunate that the resolutions come off so easy and flat. I honestly just expected more from all the inherent conflict and even the unspoken tension. That’s not to say the story is bad, just remains light and without the intense impact the story seems to be striving for.
Overall I’d still recommend this story because it’s interesting, fun to read and keeps your attention. The story is well suited to the shorter novella length but I wish the ending and resolutions hadn’t been so easy and light. However each reader is different so decide for yourself.
December 9, 2013
Originally reviewed for The Book Vixen
2.5 stars, In a Nutshell: I was lukewarm about this romance as it seemed lopsided in telling only one lead’s character development and leaving the other a mystery.
Why I Read this Book: Characters of color are too rare in mainstream romance so I read stories that feature them every time I see them on a book cover, like this one.
What I Liked: I liked both Myles and Davion and their reunion romance well enough. Myles is successful at work but lonely and emotionally isolated. Davion is more mysterious (more on that later) but he’s a respected artist living the life of an artist in Manhattan. The sexual tension is strong between these two as they meet again nearly twenty years after their brief high school affair. This leads to lots of sexual exploration and an adequate, though flat, emotional exploration between them.
I also liked that the author included strong female characters, something else rare in MM novellas. Myles’ feisty grandmother, Mimi, who gives Myles encouragement and strength to be himself is a lovely character, though only on page briefly. Myles has a sassy and warm secretary who is enjoyable too.
What I Didn’t Like: This is told third person so I expected it to be less lopsided than it was and the romance really suffered because of this. Myles is a quasi-selfish jerk and his character development is what this novella is about. Yes, Davion shares his hurt with Myles’ past behavior but it was in the denouement and close to novella’s conclusion. The few things Davion shares with Myles is all I as a reader knew about him, other than he was an artist. I never connected with Davion or the romance much and since Myles’ story is one of growth and redemption, I didn’t much like him for most of the story.
IMO: I wanted to like this romance a lot more than I did. Still, I finished it without difficulty, just with a lukewarm response.
*review copy provided by publisher*
2.5 stars, In a Nutshell: I was lukewarm about this romance as it seemed lopsided in telling only one lead’s character development and leaving the other a mystery.
Why I Read this Book: Characters of color are too rare in mainstream romance so I read stories that feature them every time I see them on a book cover, like this one.
What I Liked: I liked both Myles and Davion and their reunion romance well enough. Myles is successful at work but lonely and emotionally isolated. Davion is more mysterious (more on that later) but he’s a respected artist living the life of an artist in Manhattan. The sexual tension is strong between these two as they meet again nearly twenty years after their brief high school affair. This leads to lots of sexual exploration and an adequate, though flat, emotional exploration between them.
I also liked that the author included strong female characters, something else rare in MM novellas. Myles’ feisty grandmother, Mimi, who gives Myles encouragement and strength to be himself is a lovely character, though only on page briefly. Myles has a sassy and warm secretary who is enjoyable too.
What I Didn’t Like: This is told third person so I expected it to be less lopsided than it was and the romance really suffered because of this. Myles is a quasi-selfish jerk and his character development is what this novella is about. Yes, Davion shares his hurt with Myles’ past behavior but it was in the denouement and close to novella’s conclusion. The few things Davion shares with Myles is all I as a reader knew about him, other than he was an artist. I never connected with Davion or the romance much and since Myles’ story is one of growth and redemption, I didn’t much like him for most of the story.
IMO: I wanted to like this romance a lot more than I did. Still, I finished it without difficulty, just with a lukewarm response.
*review copy provided by publisher*
April 28, 2011
3,5 stars
I really wish I could say something good about Myles. For me he was just a coward with capital "c". And then faith or destiny or something gives him a second chance and he screw up again. *headdesk*
It was so frustrating. He repeated "my life" and "my job" and "my fucked up existence" and "my parents" ...everything was about HIM. Didn't even think about Davion or his hurt feelings. I don't like selfish people. :(
I really wish I could say something good about Myles. For me he was just a coward with capital "c". And then faith or destiny or something gives him a second chance and he screw up again. *headdesk*
It was so frustrating. He repeated "my life" and "my job" and "my fucked up existence" and "my parents" ...everything was about HIM. Didn't even think about Davion or his hurt feelings. I don't like selfish people. :(
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 30, 2019
What a beautiful written story... This second chance theme was build with true felt emotions and I simply enjoyed this story till the end. I wouldn't mind reading about this couple in a sequel... they were perfect together. In general a well written emotional story about love and life.
Highly recommended book!!
Highly recommended book!!
March 31, 2011
3.5 stars.
February 15, 2012
The Untold Want is about not wanting to be lonely anymore. It’s about being true to one’s self, and wanting love.
October 9, 2013
Loved the Walt Whitman quote. I have this beat up paperback copy of Leaves of Grass that I just can't let go of.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews