Toxic Emotions at Work: How Compassionate Managers Handle Pain and Conflict

by Peter J. Frost

Human interaction is never flawless. Even the best relationships produce tension and at times, unpleasant emotions. Since organizations are comprised of people, all organizations generate emotional pain as part of the process of doing producing new products on tight deadlines, setting benchmarks for performance, creating budgets, crafting company policies, and so on. Getting the job done is rarely painless. But when emotional pain goes unmanaged or is poorly handled, it can negatively affect both employees and the bottom line—in essence, it becomes toxic. In Toxic Emotions at Work and What to Do About Them, Peter J. Frost argues that the way an organization responds to pain determines whether it remains toxic or becomes generative, whether it endures as a debilitating poison or is transformed into a force for healthy organizations. According to Frost, when ignored, toxic emotions betray employees’ hopes, bruise their egos, reduce their enthusiasm for work, and diminish their sense of connectedness to their company’s community and goals. Compassionate responses to pain, on the other hand, encourage those who are suffering to effect constructive changes in their work lives. Despite their powerful role in employee performance, toxic emotions are rarely addressed by organizations. Instead, most companies respond to pain informally and unconsciously through self-selected individuals whom Frost calls “toxin handlers.” Typically a senior manager or someone with a high emotional intelligence capacity, toxin handlers soften the blow of emotional pain for others, but over the course of time, absorb much of the pain they handle to their own detriment. They are often unrecognized, unrewarded, and poorly supported by their organizations. And, while they often provide a temporary relief from the symptoms of toxic organizational pain, toxin handlers alone are unable to eradicate toxic emotions for the long-term. Toxic Emotions at Work and What to Do About Them suggests that handling toxic emotions effectively is an important, though unrecognized set of competencies that must be understood and embraced—not only by toxin handlers, but by leaders, managers, and the organization as a whole. Through rich examples of how individuals and organizations have managed emotional pain successfully, Frost describes the key skills necessary to cope with emotional pain and to manage it effectively, and offers concrete courses of action for organizations to institutionalize compassion in the face of emotional pain.

Genres: Business, Leadership, Nonfiction

256 pages, Hardcover

First published January 28, 2003

Reviews

[Mkrone · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book gives concrete description to something that all good leaders and managers know exists. When there is pain, conflict, or tension in an organization, some people work on the inside to fix the problem and help the individuals involved. Most of the time, discussing emotions, even when they are inevitable, is seen as weak and unacceptable in business, so these individuals must work secretly to do manage pain and conflict so that both the individuals involved and the organization can heal and become stronger and more effective. Feeling like I often take on this role in my organization, it was nice to be recognized by the author. One of the most important things Frost mentions is how these individuals can become burned out and suffer physically and mentally, and he has many suggestions to manage this, for the individual and the organization.

[Cyndie Courtney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Toxic emotions are sometimes inevitable at work - it is hard to make a workplace completely conflict free and all businesses and people experience difficulties. This book discusses how to recognize the people who are "detoxifiers" in the workplace and help support them.

[Rukhsar (rukhsandbooks) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'd like to thank my coach for recommending this book.

She very quickly picked up on the kind of leader I am in the workplace and beyond and figured I would benefit from reading this book to help with my self-reflection and growth. She also knew this book would be a great way to allow me to be gentler with myself and to acknowledge that emotions do take a toll.

This book has reignited my spark to keep trying to be a compassionate manager. We all have different management styles, and just because mine is different from my peers doesn't mean my style is wrong.

[Alberto · Rating 5 out of 5]

Una excelente guía referente a la gestión de emociones tóxicas en la empresa. Abarca desde el reconocimiento de este tipo de emociones y opciones de manejo. Además del papel fundamental del gestor de emociones tóxicas, la importancia de reconocer y apoyar su labor y finalmente los peligros que representan para el gestor. Recomendaría la lectura complementaria de titulos relacionados con el acoso laboral y acerca del trabajo con manipuladores.

[Sharon Summerfield · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book needs to be a must read for all leaders.

Yes this book was written in 2003 and still a very relevant topic. One that needs to be addressed in building thriving teams and organization.

[Kelly Dombroski · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great ideas and great discussion of the important work 'toxin handlers' do in the workplace. My view is that these toxin handlers are mostly the 'NF' temperaments (Myers-Briggs ). Give this book to your manager, or anyone who is an NF in your workplace. Gold.

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was invaluable to me in understanding dynamics at a previous job and my role in the organization.