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The Customer Is Not Always Right: Hilarious and Horrific Tales of Customers Gone Wrong

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Retailers, restaurants, and tech support providers believe service is king, but in The Customer Is Not Always Right, A.J. Adams proves that customers will do anything they can to put that motto to the test.Readers get a collection of insights and stories from the popular Web site NotAlwaysRight.com. The book and site showcase customer-relations horror stories everyone can relate to. No matter what side of the counter you're on, there are hilarious tales about everything that can go wrong between the customer and retail or service provider. Whether it's a confrontation in the drive-through over not enough fries or arguing over a one-cent price difference on milk, this book proves the principle of "the customer is always right" can be dead wrong.From groaning, to intense complaining, to situations that leave workers asking, "Are you serious?," readers will enjoy these hilarious tales of customers gone wrong.

256 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2009

10 people are currently reading
968 people want to read

About the author

A.J. Adams

3 books2 followers
A. J. Adams is no stranger to dealing with customers; he was born and raised in Las Vegas, a city well-known for its thriving service industry. Although he now designs Web sites for a living, he has also worked in restaurants, bookstores, and coffee shops. It was after one particularly frustrating run-in with a customer that he decided to create NotAlwaysRight.com, a Web site devoted to sharing funny and stupid customer quotes.

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5 stars
168 (36%)
4 stars
139 (29%)
3 stars
124 (26%)
2 stars
26 (5%)
1 star
7 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 65 reviews
Profile Image for MischaS_.
783 reviews1,459 followers
January 5, 2019
EDIT: Reading this started my years-long obsession with the website. I adore reading all those stories! So much fun and a great way how to kill time, especially when you are waiting for your doctor appointment. Everyone is solemn, and you're doing your best not to laugh aloud!

ORIGINAL: I just love these. How is it possible that people are so stupid?
Also, their website is wonderful, my best friend in school when I am bored. (Actually, I am pretty much obsessed with their website. I check it every morning even before I read my emails.)

Profile Image for Martin.
327 reviews168 followers
April 6, 2022
Make it idiot proof.
So far the idiots are winning.


description

After reading about these brain dead customers I'm worried for the survival of the human race.

description

REALLY worried.

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On the plus side all the stories made me smile.

Enjoy!
Profile Image for Mickey.
228 reviews1 follower
July 19, 2011
If you have ever worked ANY kind of customer service position, you will read this book and identify with nearly every anecdote. If you haven't worked customer service, you will read this, laugh, and say "Things like that don't REALLY happen, do they?" YES THEY DO.

For your consideration, my own anecdote:

I work in the property/evidence room for the local Police department. We often field calls from people who know the law better than the officers and try to impress us with this while demanding that we give them their stuff back. 99.9% of the time they are wrong. This one was truly special:

Me: Property Room, how may I help you?

Idiot Caller: Yeah, your stupid officer stole mah pills and I want em back.

Me: (resisting the urge to tell her that whoever it was is not MY officer) May I have your name please so that i can look the record up?

IC: *slurs name*

Me: I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. Would you repeat it for me please?

IC: You is as dumb as that officer, now quit fooling around and tell me how to get mah pills back!

Me: Insulting me is not going to get them back any faster. Would you please spell your name for me?

IC: *gives name, slightly more clearly* Hurry the f--- up and tell me what to do to get mah pills.

Me: There's no need to swear at me ma'am. I see here that your pills were put in as evidence, so you will not be able to claim them until the officer signs a release or a judge gives you an order for us to return them to you.

IC: Whaaaaaat?!? Dat be some bullsh-t! Y'all cain't be takin peoples pills and stuff. *rants in this vein for a few more minutes*

Me: *having looked at the incident report while irate idiot is screaming and swearing at me* Ma'am?

IC: WTF? I need mah dayum pills!

Me: *snapping* Maybe you shouldn't have offered to sell them to the officer when he pulled you over for DUI!

IC: Furreal? I did that? I was pretty tore up. *click*

yeah, some days I love my job......
Profile Image for Nina.
570 reviews52 followers
July 4, 2016
I laughed and snickered reading the hilarious and sometimes exasperated moments between the customers and the workers. Sometimes they're amusing and many times they're annoying.
96 reviews
January 30, 2018
Read this in between a few mysteries. Some of the anectodes are thoroughly funny. Some looked slightly embellished. If it had happened, i can only pity the CSR.
Profile Image for Alex Telander.
Author 15 books172 followers
September 21, 2010
Anyone who has a worked a shift in any form of retail has stories to tell of those customers; A. J. Adams has experienced this personally after working in various forms of retail. In 2007 he decided that retail employees needed a voice and created Notalwaysright.com. Since then many turn to this therapeutic website for catharsis, therapy, or just a good laugh; while others use it as their forum to voice their anger, shock, and dumbfoundedness at some of the people that exist in this world. The Customer is Not Always Right collects one hundred of the most popular submitted stories, as well as some that were never published on the site. One of my favorites is this ditty from a flight attendant:

Flight attendant: “What can I help you with?”

Passenger #1: “The plane seems to be shaking a lot, and I almost spilled my bottle of water.”

Passenger #2: “Yeah, and it’s also really noisy. We can barely hear each other talk.”

Flight attendant: “Well, the shaking is the turbulence that the plane is flying through, and the noise is coming from the engines.”

Passenger #2: “Can’t you turn the engines off?”

For more book reviews and exclusive author interviews, go to BookBanter.
Profile Image for Winston Jen.
115 reviews41 followers
October 27, 2013
The Dregs of Society Exposed

As Norm Feuti eloquently put it in his take on the retail industry and atrocious customers, the worst criminals, politicians, neo-Nazis and everyone else you would rather not deal with have to shop. As a result, those unfortunate enough to work behind the register (offline or on) are subjected to the most horrendous abuse and stupidity, on an almost-daily basis. And yes, these poor souls are required to work on public holidays. Although they may get used to their lot in time,

Here are a few of my favourites:

- The racist bigot who refuses to talk to a non-Caucasian.
- A intellectually-challenged/lazy misogynist who didn't even check to see whether his game of choice was going to be released on the PS3.
- Retards who want a refund for renting a "movie that sucked."
- The wealthy parent who assumed that anyone working a cash register cannot be well-educated.

This is an excellent tome to bring with you on long plane trips. The black humour is made even better by its realism.
Profile Image for Mirhanda.
424 reviews6 followers
February 28, 2015
Most of these are just made up, urban legends or jokes. I can say it's a very quick read, but I still wouldn't recommend it.
Profile Image for Hayley.
510 reviews17 followers
January 4, 2018
I feel that everyone who works in retail should have to read this as part of the training I don't care what store you work in this is priceless.
Profile Image for Koren .
1,147 reviews39 followers
April 9, 2020
Very short stories of rude or clueless customers from a variety of areas of customer service. I think everyone should work in customer service at some point in their lives so they can walk a mile in other's shoes. I think they could do a whole book on the medical field. There was one thing I didnt like about this book. In some stories it sounded like the customer obviously had some kind of disability. I have a son with a learning disability and he does not hesitate to pick up the phone and call customer service when he is having a problem. He has always been treated respectfully and for that I am grateful. Loved the stories where the customer was just plain rude and the worker jokingly put them in their place.
Profile Image for Stephanie R..
199 reviews
April 17, 2015
The stories about stupid customers are very funny and entertaining.
The only "disadvantage" is that the website is just as good as the book, having multiple new stories a day and being searchable by category. So the book is better if you want to introduce somebody to the idea of silly customer stories, or if you are taking a trip somewhere without Internet access.
One of my favorites is the one where a lady calls her cell phone company 20 times in 48 hours, each time claiming that her baby is locked in her car and on fire and she needs her phone re-connected (never mind that she could just call 911 from whatever phone she's using to call the phone company).
Here's my other favorite story:
Customer: How much is Bud Light?
Bartender: $3.75.
Customer: Well, how much is Miller Light?
Bartender: $3.75.
Customer: Dang! What's the cheapest thing you got in here?
Bartender: YOU!
Profile Image for Justin Lai.
19 reviews
March 27, 2024
Hilarious misadventures of customer service! A good book for humour, a great book for catharsis (for those who barely survived their summer jobs), but - wait for it - an unexpectedly 𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒂𝒏𝒕 book for unlocking compassion towards the server AND customer!

Sure, in this book you'll find plenty of howtos in dealing with overinflated egos or sheer stupidity. But after you've read every story for the zillionth time, you gotta feel a teensy bit awful for everyone involved, especially the ones being served. Isn't it mean to laugh at someone's misfortune when the customer keeps screaming "PUT IN MORE!" after eleven shots of milk? (from page 181... you're welcome 😈) This is one schadenfreude/mudita you don't wanna miss!
Profile Image for T. Okerberg.
Author 4 books61 followers
July 23, 2017
The stupid.... It's painful!!!

Ho-leee CRAP!! I've worked in various customer service jobs over the past twenty-plus years, and my Lord these people..... I'm honestly glad to say I'm not the only one who dealt with the world's most daft individuals! My husband works full time as a cashier at a grocery store, and horror stories he's shared, honestly I'm so glad I work from home now for myself. Good grief, how did these people survive childhood?! I laughed until I cried on a lot of these, and I sat here face palming quite a bit on others. They're everywhere! Lmao
12 reviews
September 19, 2011
This book was hilarious. I've worked in retail just over three years now and I am a firm believer that if everyone worked one solid year in the lowest rung of retail, the world would be a better place. Anyone who's ever been asked whether they sell falcons, anyone who's ever been asked whether a completely different store sells tents, and anyone who's ever been asked why they can't see bacteria will enjoy this book.
Profile Image for Kerrikoala.
479 reviews
July 12, 2014
This is why I prefer to work behind the scenes!

So, okay, this book was amusing and a quick read, but I didn't laugh out loud like I did when I read WEIRD THINGS CUSTOMERS SAY IN BOOKSHOPS. 3.75 stars, but since I can't do fractions of stars, I'll give it 4.
Profile Image for Emilie.
59 reviews2 followers
December 27, 2014
Wish I could find more books like this because this was so funny. Working in both retail and the food industry I could super relate to some of these stories and it was great to read these experiences and know I wasnt alone in having dumb people come into stores.
Profile Image for Amy.
369 reviews3 followers
December 4, 2013
This book is a must-read for anyone who has ever worked in a service industry. I laughed out loud. Often.
153 reviews22 followers
March 17, 2013
FUNNY stuff! It's like the Darwin Awards, but instead of dying, they're in front of you in the lineup!

Excellent stories of bad customers! (or as Scott Adams would call them: induhviduals)
Profile Image for Nina.
44 reviews1 follower
March 20, 2013
The stories in this book are downright hilarious. I told everyone they need to read this. Oh how the customers always seem to think they're right and they aren't. I'd love to see a second book
Profile Image for Jeannie.
367 reviews38 followers
July 9, 2015
Super-short but highly amusing collection of anecdotes that will keep you laughing, and make you seriously question the fate of the human race.
18 reviews
January 29, 2018
This book out a smile on my face. I work retail and can relate to the stories told, and yes people are just like that
Profile Image for Maki ⌒☆.
586 reviews50 followers
December 26, 2014
I stumbled across this book through the Goodreads suggestions after I read Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops. I set it aside on my "to-read" shelf, and then noticed that the book was another one of those that started off as a website. So, to see what I was getting myself into, I went to the website.

And then I read through more than 1,000 pages of stories in a single day.

These are incredibly addictive and amusing, and are a wonderful testament to the joy that is working in the customer service industry. Half of the book comes from stories on the website, and the other half from the backlog of stories that are sent to the site each day, but haven't had a chance to get posted yet.

My personal favorite is the tale of the Blue Ting, which is both on the website and in the book.

(I worked tech support for a major software company, specifically with their digital media products. This call was about their video editing software.)
Me: “Thanks for calling ***** tech support.
(The customer gives me her info and has a thick accent I can’t place.)
Me: “Great! What can I do for you?”
Her: “Yes. I am trying to edit dees beedio, and eet’s blue and blue on de ting.”
Me: “So…it’s blue, and blue…on the thing?”
Her: “Yes.”
Me: “Where is it blue?”
Her: “On de ting.”
Me: “By ‘thing,’ do you mean the Computer screen or your camera?”
Her: “Yes…de ting.”
Me: “Ma’am, I can’t see what you are looking at so you’ll have to tell me the name of the thing that is blue.”
Her: *getting angry* “DE TING!!! Eeet’s BLUUUUE AN BLUUUEE ON DE TING!!!!”
Me: “What exactly is blue? The video on your monitor? Are you outputting to TV? The viewfinder on your camera?”
Her: “Yes.”
Me: “Yes…which one?”
Her: *yelling* “DE TING!!!!”
Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry but I don’t understand where you are having a problem.”
Her: “THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!!! I SPEAK PERFECT ENGLISH!!! MY HUSBAND TAUGHT ME HE WILL BE VERY VERY ANGRY WIT YOU!!! I DEMAND RESPECT!!! HOW DARE YOU!!!”
Me: “Ma’am, I agree. You speak english very very well. The problem I am having is you are not telling me where you are seeing blue video.”
Her: “ON DE TIIIING!!!”
(This exchange went on for a while before she got frustrated and hung up. The best part is, my call was being listened to by some higher level support guys. They created an internal troubleshooting document that appeared as follows:)
PROBLEM: VIDEO IS BLUE AND BLUE ON THE THING
SOLUTION: NONE AT THIS TIME
TROUBLESHOOTING:
>(TECH SUPPORT)IS THE THING BLUE? TRY REINSTALLING THE THING
>(TECH SUPPORT) THING REINSTALLED. STILL BLUE
>(ENGINEER) CANNOT RECREATE THING IN LAB.
>(ENGINEER) PROBLEM ALMOST RECREATED. THING RED.
(And so on and so on…)


It's really satisfying, reading through these stories and finding out that there are terrible customers, no matter what field you work in.

But should you ever start to feel bad for the poor customers, for some reason, don't worry. There's a sister site called Not Always Working that collects stories of incompetent or bad workers.

And, as a parting gift, I will leave you with the best story I have, from working as a front desk clerk at a timeshare hotel.

(St. Patrick's Day weekend is pretty big down here. Because we have Bourbon Street. Obviously. One of our timeshares owners waves at me, and then heads out for the night. I think nothing of it. Ten minutes later, her husband comes down to the desk, incredibly drunk, and starts staring at me.)
Me: Yes, can I help you?
Guest: ... (continues to just stare)
Me: Um...can I help you, sir?
Guest: My wife.
Me: Yes, what about your wife?
Guest: Did you see my wife?
Me: Yes, I did. She left about ten minutes ago.
Guest: Where is she?
Me: I don't know. She didn't tell me where she was going.
Guest: Where is she?
Me: Sir, I don't know. I don't keep tabs on where every guest is going when they head outside.
Guest: ...okay.
(He leaves, and the comes back downstairs five minutes later.)
Guest: Where's my wife?
Me: I already told you, I don't know where she is. She went outside. She did not tell me where she was going.
Guest: I need to find my wife. Where is she?
Me: Sir -
Guest: She has diabetes.
Me: Okay?
Guest: Do you know what diabetes are? She can't be alone. She's crazy! She has diabetes.
Me: Have you tried calling your wife's cell phone?
Guest: (starting to get violent) WHERE IS SHE?
Me: I don't know!
(He leaves, then comes back downstairs five minutes later, again.)
Me: Sir, I don't know where your wife is. You need to call her.
Guest: She can't be alone. She's crazy! She has diabetes! She's crazy! Tell me where she is!
Me: I don't know what else I can do to help you.
Guest: (screaming) If you don't tell me where she is, I'm going to call the cops on you!!!
Me: ...
(At this point, my coworker has had enough, and comes to the front desk.)
Coworker: Sir, she already said that she doesn't know where your wife went! Leave her alone.
Guest: My wife has diabetes! She can't be out on her own! I'm going to get the cops here to arrest you, you b*tch!
Coworker: I said leave her alone.
Guest: I'm not talking to you!
Coworker: But I'm talking to you. Now, go back to your room before I call the cops on you for harassing my coworker.
Guest: I'll call the cops!
Coworker: Go ahead and call them! What are you going to charge her with? Hmmm?
Guest: ...
Coworker: ...
Guest: ...I'm going to call my wife's cell phone.
(His wife comes back twenty minutes later.)
Me: ...your husband was looking for you.
Guest's Wife: ...I know. He called me.
(Despite being a timeshare owner, they haven't been back to the hotel since. My coworker still jokes about my magical ability to kill people with the power of diabetes.)
Profile Image for Emmy.
2,428 reviews56 followers
April 11, 2023
I used to spend way too much time on the author's website back in college, and it was always good for a laugh. Now that I'm an adult with a job, I find it far more relatable and a little less funny. That being said, I still thought this book was a hoot and I enjoyed reading it.

I also recommend as readalikes: Weird Things Customers Say in Bookstores and I Work at a Public Library: A Collection of Crazy Stories from the Stacks.
Profile Image for Pineapplw .
205 reviews1 follower
February 8, 2025
This had me laughing all night. The tales of dumb people and mean people really touched my heart, and I hope people can learn a lot from this. I am totally checking out the website after this.
Profile Image for Jeff.
Author 18 books38 followers
June 27, 2014
Quick Amusing Read. Here's a funny example of idiot customers:

(I’m at the second window of the drive-through where I hand out the food and drinks.)

CUSTOMER: “Excuse me, I ordered a Coke and you gave me a Dr Pepper.”
ME: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’ll get that fixed right away for you …”
(I return with a Coke.)

ME: “Is there anything else that I can do for you?”
CUSTOMER: “Yes, I’m sorry, but my husband wanted a Dr Pepper and he got a Coke.”
(I realize this customer isn’t exactly the brightest person.)

ME: “So, let me get this straight: You ordered a Coke and a Dr Pepper, but got a Dr Pepper and a Coke?”
CUSTOMER: “Yes.”
ME: “Okay, ma’am, I’m sorry about that. I’ll be right back with the Dr Pepper.”
CUSTOMER: “Thank you!”
(At least she was nice about it!)
Profile Image for Beth Cato.
Author 132 books674 followers
April 10, 2012
This book features a compilation of bad customer stories, all told in script form. One hundred are from their website, http://notalwaysright.com/, and another hundred are brand new.[return][return]I won't waste time quoting or summarizing; just go to the website to see why this book is so extraordinary. Some of these people need to be removed from the gene pool and others... well, maybe they were just having a bad day. Reading this brings back fond memories of my own time in retail. Also, when I was battling a migraine and unable to stare at the computer monitor, I could read the book version and giggle the pain away.
Profile Image for Bree.
540 reviews
June 30, 2012
I was looking for more horrific stories. I mean I have some really horrific stories just from my 15 years working with customers. Some of these were just so tame. I understand that there were only 100 examples and each one had to be a small page long but there had to be better stories from their website. Some were classically funny though so it was worth a read, from the library.
Profile Image for Briony.
416 reviews
February 17, 2012
Anyone who has ever worked in public service will appreciate this book. There were many times I chuckled to myself while thinking "Who would have the gall to say that to someone?" I then would remember that I have also encountered some of these special people in the workplace. This is a fun and fast read if your are looking for something with a good laugh.
Profile Image for Susana.
1,013 reviews192 followers
October 8, 2014
Un libro corto y divertido, pleno de pequeñas anécdotas de experiencias de servicio que rayan en lo absurdo.
En la medida que avanzaba en su lectura, iba creciendo mi disgusto y las respuestas de los dependientes en los ejemplos comenzaron a parecerme groseras y opuesta a lo que como cliente espero y promuevo como la excelencia en el servicio.
Profile Image for Saru (Queen of Bookland).
237 reviews200 followers
July 21, 2015
Initial Reaction After Finishing This Book:


Ehh. Why not. There was NOTHING bad about this book because it was just a bunch of outrageously funny conversations between customers and employees. So yeah, good! :)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 65 reviews

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