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The Cost of Bad Behavior: How Incivility Is Damaging Your Business and What to Do About It
Why incivility at work is a bigger problem than you suspect
In an accessible and informative style, Pearson and Porath examine the toll that bad behavior can have on otherwise well-functioning companies. And they reveal strategies that successful organizations are using to stop incivility before it takes hold.
Whether it's a standoffish coworker or an arrogant boss, incivility at the office doesn't just affect the moods of a few employees; it hurts an entire company.
Consider these statistics: 12 percent of all employees say they've left jobs because they were treated badly. Fortune 1000 executives spend roughly seven weeks per year resolving employee conflicts. And an astonishing 95 percent of Americans say they've experienced rudeness at work.
Christine Pearson and Christine Porath examine the devastating toll that bad behavior can have on otherwise well-functioning companies. Combining their own scientific research with stories from fields as diverse as criminology, education, and psychology, they show how to spot the roots of incivility, rip them out, and create a culture of respect. They urge managers to stop making excuses, set a zero-tolerance policy, and lead by example.
Bestsellers like The No Asshole Rule and The Power of Nice have shown the hunger for more civility at work; now The Cost of Bad Behavior shows exactly what to do about it.
In an accessible and informative style, Pearson and Porath examine the toll that bad behavior can have on otherwise well-functioning companies. And they reveal strategies that successful organizations are using to stop incivility before it takes hold.
Whether it's a standoffish coworker or an arrogant boss, incivility at the office doesn't just affect the moods of a few employees; it hurts an entire company.
Consider these statistics: 12 percent of all employees say they've left jobs because they were treated badly. Fortune 1000 executives spend roughly seven weeks per year resolving employee conflicts. And an astonishing 95 percent of Americans say they've experienced rudeness at work.
Christine Pearson and Christine Porath examine the devastating toll that bad behavior can have on otherwise well-functioning companies. Combining their own scientific research with stories from fields as diverse as criminology, education, and psychology, they show how to spot the roots of incivility, rip them out, and create a culture of respect. They urge managers to stop making excuses, set a zero-tolerance policy, and lead by example.
Bestsellers like The No Asshole Rule and The Power of Nice have shown the hunger for more civility at work; now The Cost of Bad Behavior shows exactly what to do about it.
240 pages, Hardcover
First published July 9, 2009
25 people are currently reading
220 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
February 1, 2017
This book is full of excellent research and stories, but I found it slow and tedious. The first 2/3 of the book are full of stories selling you on the idea that Bad Behavior is bad. Seeing as I picked up the book, I think we can conclude that I knew this already, but is see their point.
I am a huge fan of the power of story, and reading stories about these companies, both successful and failing, can be inspirational, but I felt they needed to get into the important information of how to fix the problem. The stories typically had a single line comment on a fixable point, but I really wished for better integration of "how to fix it" into the early chapters, versus separating that into the back 1/3. Really, I'd just like to see the book be more than 1/3 fix-it. That's what we're here for.
I will also add that I was thoroughly annoyed with the math section. It is hard to quantify bad behavior, and I understand that companies want and need "hard facts" to present to resistant boards, but the math felt loose and false. If they had simply stated "this is an idea of how your company might be hurt financially" for each new math equation they came up with I would find it very reasonable. Instead it felt like the presented their math as cold, hard facts. Quantifying qualitative information is never cold, hard facts. I think it's the scientist in me that just rankles at turning a soft science into something with stationary math rules. I get that markets and companies like to do that, but the world doesn't work that way. Businesses are not natural systems. They do what they do, often for unquantitatable reasons (yes that words made up, work with me, if they can make up math, I can make up words.)
My second point of contention is whenever anyone points at a generation issue they lose about 1,780 points in my book (I calculated that using their math). In this book it's generation X (I suppose the Millenials were still to young when this book came out) and its the same old, same old. This new generation wants to work too fast, while not working at all, doesn't know how to interact, is narcissistic. You've heard it all before. Putting any group, especially a group composed of people born within a single time period, over a giant variety of cultural backgrounds, financial backgrounds, educational backgrounds, and so on, is useless. It will get you nowhere. Every time you make a generalization about a generation you are mislabeling at least 50% of them. Don't do it. It immediately sinks my opinion of you. (Love, this lazy Millenial who worked 2 jobs through high school, 4 through college, 2 in vet school, and has primarily experienced incivility issues within my parents' generation, and has often played mediator for large groups of much older individuals.)
Overall I do think this book provides some good pointers, some good research, and some useful information. It would be the book I would sit down in front of my bosses and discuss.
I am a huge fan of the power of story, and reading stories about these companies, both successful and failing, can be inspirational, but I felt they needed to get into the important information of how to fix the problem. The stories typically had a single line comment on a fixable point, but I really wished for better integration of "how to fix it" into the early chapters, versus separating that into the back 1/3. Really, I'd just like to see the book be more than 1/3 fix-it. That's what we're here for.
I will also add that I was thoroughly annoyed with the math section. It is hard to quantify bad behavior, and I understand that companies want and need "hard facts" to present to resistant boards, but the math felt loose and false. If they had simply stated "this is an idea of how your company might be hurt financially" for each new math equation they came up with I would find it very reasonable. Instead it felt like the presented their math as cold, hard facts. Quantifying qualitative information is never cold, hard facts. I think it's the scientist in me that just rankles at turning a soft science into something with stationary math rules. I get that markets and companies like to do that, but the world doesn't work that way. Businesses are not natural systems. They do what they do, often for unquantitatable reasons (yes that words made up, work with me, if they can make up math, I can make up words.)
My second point of contention is whenever anyone points at a generation issue they lose about 1,780 points in my book (I calculated that using their math). In this book it's generation X (I suppose the Millenials were still to young when this book came out) and its the same old, same old. This new generation wants to work too fast, while not working at all, doesn't know how to interact, is narcissistic. You've heard it all before. Putting any group, especially a group composed of people born within a single time period, over a giant variety of cultural backgrounds, financial backgrounds, educational backgrounds, and so on, is useless. It will get you nowhere. Every time you make a generalization about a generation you are mislabeling at least 50% of them. Don't do it. It immediately sinks my opinion of you. (Love, this lazy Millenial who worked 2 jobs through high school, 4 through college, 2 in vet school, and has primarily experienced incivility issues within my parents' generation, and has often played mediator for large groups of much older individuals.)
Overall I do think this book provides some good pointers, some good research, and some useful information. It would be the book I would sit down in front of my bosses and discuss.
March 18, 2018
Great research, thoughtful and detailed exploration incivility is and how it impacts the workplace financially and emotionally. Sadly, almost everyone has a story of experiencing incivility in the workplace, and leadership failing to protect worker from incivility--or even the cause of the incivility! This is an important topic for leaders inside organizations working to build a culture that is positive, affirming, and builds on the strengths of every team member, or for coaches and consultants who support those leaders.
September 25, 2009
This is a great book that every manager should read. The first quarter of the book is aimed at the manager or other higher-ups detailing how much incivility costs the organization. People reduce their effort, hurting productivity, work teams are disrupted, hurting productivity, people leave the organization, high turnover costs, good people leave for other organizations, and people can take out their frustrations on your customers.
Even though these are legitimate reasons to stop incivility, it comes off a little clinical and cold. I think the reason is the approach. It addresses managers in the most common way, how this hurts the bottom line and the organization as a whole. In reading this part of the book, I am reminded by an Execupundit post: When Persuading: Shout "Fire" Instead of "Police" (http://www.execupundit.com/2007/02/wh...). This makes this part of the book a good approach.
The rest of the book deals with solutions from how an organization can create a civil workplace (which reminded me of this post: A Code of Conduct for Managers and Supervisors (http://tametheweb.com/2009/09/08/a-co...) The book breaks down each part from the top on down. It even details what to do if you are a target of incivility, how to identify if you are the Offender, and what we could do as a society to stop incivil behaviors. Great short book. It's something that is sorely needed.
My favorite sections:
Ten Things a Firm Should Do to create a Civil Workplace:
1. Set Zero-Tolerance Expectations
2. Look in the mirror
3. Weed out trouble before it enters your organization
4. Teach Civility
5. Train employees and managers how to recognize and respond to signals
6. Put your ear to the ground and listen carefully (360 evaluations)
7. When Incivility occurs, hammer it
8. Take complaints seriously
9. Don't make excuses for powerful instigators (that's just how he is)
10. Invest in post-departure interviews (not exit, but six months after why someone left the organization)
What's a Target to do:
1. Recognize the Personal Toll (build a support group, know this is going to affect you in all aspects of your life)
2. Appeal to a higher authority (your boss's boss, higher up, a Higher Power, or follow your own set of values)
3. Back Off (find ways to avoid the offender)
4. Reframe your thinking (realize what you can do about your situation)
5. Grow (what doesn't kill you makes you stronger)
6. Decide to stay put (is it worth it to leave or should you stick it out?)
7. Leave
8. Negotiate with the Offender
What's an Offender to do:
1. Start with the Basic ABCD
2. Gather Data (watch yourself in action)
3. Find a great coach
4. Dig Deeper on your own
5. Enlist the help of trusted colleagues
four essential behaviors every offender should follow:
1. Listen Fully (turn off cell-phone/email/text messaging during meetings and focus on the speaker)
2. Increase your sincere use of words that convey civility (please, thank you, excuse me, I'm sorry)
3. Take less credit, give more.
4. Think before you speak
Experience->think->respond
NOT
Experience->respond->regret
other Passages:
When stress triggers brain burn, a rush of emotions causes psychological responses (increased heart rate erratic breathing) and a flooding of intense emotions. Anger, fear, and sorrow typically occur simultaneously, overwhelming the target. This leaves a scar that is not only psychological but physical. According to Hallowell, high levels of adrenaline pumped through the body under these conditions actually burn a hole in the brain, creating a permanent "tattoo". Once this occurs, the overwhelming emotions are never forgotten. P 68
Remember that your employees are your ambassadors. Their civil or uncivil behavior reflects the values of your organization. Stakeholders judge other employees, your organization, and your brand on the basis of what they see, and adjust their purchases and their loyalty accordingly. In a service econy, goodwill is everything. It's hard to build it, but you can lose it in an instant. On this basis alone, you can't afford to do anything other than encourage a culture of positive, respectful, civil behavior. P 109
Unfortunately, there are people who write, lecture, and advise about incivility and bullying by comparing the workplace with the playground. They recommend that targets fight back, treating offenders as if they were schoolyard bullies. We have more than a decade of research that says this guidance is dangerous. Workplace offenders have very little in common with schoolyard bullies. Two-thirds of workplace offenders have the power of the organizational hierarchy behind them; they call the shots on the corporate playing field. Although some high-power organizational offenders may seem at first to accept your push back, you must no forget that they have resources, connections, and hierarchical perspective that exceed your own. That would mean, in the playground analogy, that the principal and the teachers would be the bullies. p. 162
Even though these are legitimate reasons to stop incivility, it comes off a little clinical and cold. I think the reason is the approach. It addresses managers in the most common way, how this hurts the bottom line and the organization as a whole. In reading this part of the book, I am reminded by an Execupundit post: When Persuading: Shout "Fire" Instead of "Police" (http://www.execupundit.com/2007/02/wh...). This makes this part of the book a good approach.
The rest of the book deals with solutions from how an organization can create a civil workplace (which reminded me of this post: A Code of Conduct for Managers and Supervisors (http://tametheweb.com/2009/09/08/a-co...) The book breaks down each part from the top on down. It even details what to do if you are a target of incivility, how to identify if you are the Offender, and what we could do as a society to stop incivil behaviors. Great short book. It's something that is sorely needed.
My favorite sections:
Ten Things a Firm Should Do to create a Civil Workplace:
1. Set Zero-Tolerance Expectations
2. Look in the mirror
3. Weed out trouble before it enters your organization
4. Teach Civility
5. Train employees and managers how to recognize and respond to signals
6. Put your ear to the ground and listen carefully (360 evaluations)
7. When Incivility occurs, hammer it
8. Take complaints seriously
9. Don't make excuses for powerful instigators (that's just how he is)
10. Invest in post-departure interviews (not exit, but six months after why someone left the organization)
What's a Target to do:
1. Recognize the Personal Toll (build a support group, know this is going to affect you in all aspects of your life)
2. Appeal to a higher authority (your boss's boss, higher up, a Higher Power, or follow your own set of values)
3. Back Off (find ways to avoid the offender)
4. Reframe your thinking (realize what you can do about your situation)
5. Grow (what doesn't kill you makes you stronger)
6. Decide to stay put (is it worth it to leave or should you stick it out?)
7. Leave
8. Negotiate with the Offender
What's an Offender to do:
1. Start with the Basic ABCD
2. Gather Data (watch yourself in action)
3. Find a great coach
4. Dig Deeper on your own
5. Enlist the help of trusted colleagues
four essential behaviors every offender should follow:
1. Listen Fully (turn off cell-phone/email/text messaging during meetings and focus on the speaker)
2. Increase your sincere use of words that convey civility (please, thank you, excuse me, I'm sorry)
3. Take less credit, give more.
4. Think before you speak
Experience->think->respond
NOT
Experience->respond->regret
other Passages:
When stress triggers brain burn, a rush of emotions causes psychological responses (increased heart rate erratic breathing) and a flooding of intense emotions. Anger, fear, and sorrow typically occur simultaneously, overwhelming the target. This leaves a scar that is not only psychological but physical. According to Hallowell, high levels of adrenaline pumped through the body under these conditions actually burn a hole in the brain, creating a permanent "tattoo". Once this occurs, the overwhelming emotions are never forgotten. P 68
Remember that your employees are your ambassadors. Their civil or uncivil behavior reflects the values of your organization. Stakeholders judge other employees, your organization, and your brand on the basis of what they see, and adjust their purchases and their loyalty accordingly. In a service econy, goodwill is everything. It's hard to build it, but you can lose it in an instant. On this basis alone, you can't afford to do anything other than encourage a culture of positive, respectful, civil behavior. P 109
Unfortunately, there are people who write, lecture, and advise about incivility and bullying by comparing the workplace with the playground. They recommend that targets fight back, treating offenders as if they were schoolyard bullies. We have more than a decade of research that says this guidance is dangerous. Workplace offenders have very little in common with schoolyard bullies. Two-thirds of workplace offenders have the power of the organizational hierarchy behind them; they call the shots on the corporate playing field. Although some high-power organizational offenders may seem at first to accept your push back, you must no forget that they have resources, connections, and hierarchical perspective that exceed your own. That would mean, in the playground analogy, that the principal and the teachers would be the bullies. p. 162
December 30, 2016
The best researched and most practical book on dealing with frustrating and badly behaved people in the workplace I've read (and this is an area of interest). Even helpful if you ARE the badly behaved person in your workplace sometimes. The book to convince you and hopefully your bosses that it's not worth it to put up with high performing jerk, then even suggests practical methods for fixing their behavior. One of those books you should read to be a successful human being.
December 13, 2009
Our Managers' group read this for Q4 at the suggestion of our HR Director.
A quick summary is that not following the Golden Rule actually costs businesses a lot of money. Filled with lots of examples and some scary numbers from a corporate perspective, this could be a wake up call for managers everywhere.
Our group took a survey of how severe they feel certain incivilities are then how prevalent we thought the behaviors were in our company. The good thing is we didn't think things like sexual harassment and threatening weren't considered prevalent. However, we did feel that things like interrupting people, having sidebar conversations in meetings and micro-managing are prevalent. To that end, we're putting together a suggested code of conduct that our team may adopt for 2010.
A quick summary is that not following the Golden Rule actually costs businesses a lot of money. Filled with lots of examples and some scary numbers from a corporate perspective, this could be a wake up call for managers everywhere.
Our group took a survey of how severe they feel certain incivilities are then how prevalent we thought the behaviors were in our company. The good thing is we didn't think things like sexual harassment and threatening weren't considered prevalent. However, we did feel that things like interrupting people, having sidebar conversations in meetings and micro-managing are prevalent. To that end, we're putting together a suggested code of conduct that our team may adopt for 2010.
October 19, 2015
True to the book's title, there are a number of exact costs applied to certain nasty behaviors. Additionally, formulas are provided to help one through the maze of possibilities. These provide readers with shocking numbers that when multiplied over an entire business horizon are truly knee-buckling. Incivility damages businesses and lives. Beyond the moral cost, one can now put a pencil to the dollar loss.
January 24, 2013
Whoa! I did not realize how incivility was so damaging to a business. I thought it would have an affect, but not that it could reduce profitabliity, and that it could even lead to bankruptcy. This book does a very good job of showing the high costs that incivility leads to. Inciviity costs anyone in the long run.
November 25, 2013
This book puts the problem of incivility on the map. Our organizations are filled with this engagement, creativity and morale-sucking problem.
May 2, 2017
This book highlights all the little things that can create animosity in the workplace. I appreciate the fact that it challenges the reader to look at their own behaviors. I have made conscious decision that I wouldn't have, had I not read this book.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews