The Mother Factor: How Your Mother's Emotional Legacy Impacts Your Life

by Stephan B. Poulter

Whether we acknowledge it or not, our mothers leave an indelible impression on the persons we become. Our ability to function emotionally in relationships - both personal and professional - is based on our mothers' deep influence. In a book full of insights and wisdom based on a career of helping others, acclaimed psychologist Stephan B. Poulter shows how the mother factor can work either for or against us. The key to allowing this important legacy to work for us, says Dr. Poulter, depends on understanding our mother's pervasive influence on our life. He shows that the way we connect emotionally in adult relationships is based on the "style" of our mothers.Dr. Poulter defines the five major styles of mothering Perfectionist Mother-whose family must look perfect in every wayThe Unpredictable Mother-whose ups and downs can create lifelong anxiety and depression in her son or daughterThe "Me First" Mother-whose children come second or lastThe "Best Friend" Mother-who's now in vogue but can wreak havocThe Complete Mother-who provides guidance and shows compassion to her child.Although most mothers are a combination of the above, many fit more into one category than others. Even though as adults, we tend to dismiss our past as the past, we do so at risk to ourselves. Only by understanding how our mother's legacy affects us today can we transcend the mysterious anger, anxiety, depression, and shame that we feel, and achieve the kind of relationships we deserve.Dr. Poulter demonstrates how the internalized "rulebook" we inherit from our mothers is a very powerful force. These unspoken rules govern work, relationships, emotions, separation, and independence. Unless we become aware of the rules that guide our behavior, thoughts, and beliefs, we won't have the ability to make our own choices. This enlightening book will help readers connect with their past to correct self-defeating behaviors, reach their full emotional potentials, and live happier, more fulfilling lives.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help

352 pages, Paperback

First published March 1, 2008

Reviews

[Karima · Rating 1 out of 5]

blah, blah, blah.....
Betsy is a 32 year old has buried her pain and fears of intimacy...
Stan, a divorced 57 year old, experiences woman as manipulative and ...........
PU-LEAZE!

This book is full of troubled profiles and checklists. You'll love the checklists! Here's a sampling:
anger checklist
fear of abandonment checklist
emotional deprivation checklist

Expected more from a man with over 20 years of experience who specializes in relationships. No new insights.

[Laura · Rating 2 out of 5]

Dryer (so far) than I had hoped it would be. We'll see...

Update: I'm setting this one aside for now. Being that it is VERY dry, and that I'm consumed by other reading that is leagues more interesting, this goes into the DNF pile. I'm not sure I am the ideal reader for this material, as it seem written more for the psychologist/psychiatrist than for those seeking understanding on their own.

[Roxie · Rating 3 out of 5]

You can't let go of what you don't know you're holding.
I'm perfectly imperfect.