Day-to-day, face-to-face workplace communication between men and women is often dysfunctional because each gender employs different speech patterns. When careers and paychecks are on the line, clear communication is crucial-from the mailroom to the boardroom. Code Switching explains what to say, how to say it, how to be taken seriously, and how to act while speaking with the opposite sex for maximum effectiveness in the workplace. Included
•How men and women manage conversation, and the value of "chitchat" prior to a meeting.
•How men use language to impart information and women use language to build or indicate relationship.
•How men use e-mail to emphasize control while women use it to share and build rapport.
•How women can use language to build their credibility.
•How humor is used as a power play, to build territory, or to exclude others.
•How gender talk creates and shapes work relationships.
Got this book and the handbook from the library after reading an essay by the author that had some concrete tips. Unfortunately, these books are kind of vague descriptions of stereotypes about men and women. Each stereotype takes about a couple pages and is explained at such a generalized level that it's difficult to take any actionable advice from it. For example, it advises women to give yes or no answers and wait for the other person to ask follow up. It's a stereotype that men are terse, but honestly, men start meeting with just as much chit chat and give long winded answers with long tangential stories. I was hoping for more actionable suggestions on how to respond when someone repeats an idea, doesn't follow through, interrupts or does other unexpected behaviors. I was pleased, however, that they have a section on responding to sexual harassment and inappropriate comments.
"Does it ever seem that men are speaking in code and you're on the outside?
Do they shut you down or ignore you when you speak? Perhaps you are speaking in code, too - a different code."
This is the basis behind Code Switching-how to talk so men will listen by Claire Damken Brown and Audrey Nelson. Here is a book also based on how to get ahead in a male dominated workplace but again I think we can use these same principles in our home life. I am well aware that the communication skills I have with my Dear Hubby is not just by chance. Both of us come from previous marriages and we have taken what we learned from our mistakes to make this marriage stronger.
The number one skill is communication. And I had to learn that we did not speak the same language even though it sounded the same. We did learn about Code Switching. Brown and Nelson remind us that "men and women DO have unique communication styles that don’t always mesh well. Code Switching offers a way of “reaching across the aisle” to open the lines of communication. It helps both women and men crack the gender code and speak in common terms, so work gets done, conflict gets resolved, and mutual understanding and respect prevail … in the workplace and beyond." This book focuses on working women and how they can best communicate to get their message across to the men they work with. For men are pretty straight forward in business and women often look at how a business interacts. Both of these factors are great for a companies growth, but only if all can communicate to each other.
I know I have used the skills that I employed in the work world in my home life. I am sure you have too. This just may be a book that can be a cross over for both work, home and social help. I would recommend it to those who would like to be able to have good communication skills where ever they are.
I don't know why this book isn't a runaway bestseller! It gives clear practical advice on better communication in the workplace. Not only for women, men could benefit hugely from the information contained in this book. This title will go on my "must read" list.