If I Could Have Lived Another Day

by Jason Pellegrini

In 2005 Dan Brady had very little idea where his life was going. But unlike other young adults, who might be more accepting that things will eventually just come together, Dan wasn’t content with waiting around for life to figure itself out. He needed to find his purpose, and it would be in the last place he ever thought imaginable that Dan would find everything he was looking for.
The afternoon that Dan met the woman that would one day become Tina Brady was the day everything fell into place. He had finally found his purpose. The love shared between the two was a simple one, not filled with dramatics or defined by a big, over-the-top moment. It was was simple and it was their own, therefore it was the greatest love of all. It was one they were happy to share with one another for the rest of their lives.
Unfortunately the rest of their life together would not be the long journey they had planned it to be. At just thirty-three years old, Tina was diagnosed with a terminal illness, and before Dan could even process what was happening, he would have to bury his wife.
The night after Tina’s funeral, Dan would find himself lost in a grief that had no end in sight. How could he be expected to go on in life without the person who had completed him and made him who he was? Was there any amount of strength that could pull him from his despair?
But Tina had one last gift to give, and that night she would make sure her husband would find the light he would need to lead him out of the dark.

153 pages, Paperback

Published October 29, 2019

About the author

Jason Pellegrini is an award winning author from Levittown, New York. His works include Booth, The Replacement, The Cool Kids and his most recent work, If I Could Have Lived Another Day.

Reviews

[Johann (jobis89) · Rating 1 out of 5]

Unfortunately not for me! Full review to come.

[Steve T · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m writing this review on a plane back to Boston. I left my phone in a Lyft and had to get on the plane without it. I was so angry and frustrated. Then the flight took off and I finished the second half of Jason Pellegrini’s novella — and my attitude changed.

There’s a huge difference between having a bad day and fighting for your life. That’s what happens to one of the characters in this love story that shows the ravages of cancer and the grief that accompanies the loss of a loved one.

If I Could Have Lived Another Day is tough to read in parts because the author accurately depicts the awful things that cancer patients must endure. This is definitely not a book I would have picked up if I hadn’t been connected to Jason on Instagram, but I’m expanding my reading choices and this was a great departure from my usual fare.

I’m getting to that age when I say things like, “At least I’ve still got my health.” After reading this book, that cliched phrase resonates more than ever. No phone for a few days? No problem. There are far worse things that could happen. No go hug your loved ones and order this book. Highly recommended.

[Elise · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is really hard to express all the feelings about this book. I have seen to many times people losing their fight with cancer and what it does to them and their loved ones. But this book is more than just cancer, it’s about love, growth, grief and life. It was hard not to feel what they were feeling, all the love they had for one another, how they fit like perfect puzzle pieces. But the book also makes you think about your own life, how to be thankful for all you have. Don’t take things for granted. There is a Latin term that I have grown to love “memento vivere” which means “remember to live”, I think it’s really fitting for this book.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

I may never look at wind chimes the same.

One of the lead characters Tina is obsessed with them, and her perfectly suited to (but not perfect) husband Dan is tortured by them ringing and then also their absence after her sudden cancer diagnosis and death.
This is a dramatic love story with a touch of the paranormal, that made me feel like the characters could have been anyone in my real life. Their personalities were amazingly realistic, I found myself laughing and tearing up the whole way. It focuses on the little things that bring us together and what make us human and fall in love. It really is the little things: a love of football, literature, road trips, windchimes. It really got me thinking about just what do we notice about our loved ones, and what do we remember about them once they pass on? I didnt want to write spoilers, so I won't...but this book is a bouquet to a great love and also the loss of. So many tiny details in our lives with others may go unnoticed, but Jason Pellegrini nails them down in this story so you feel your emotional journey as you go along with Dan and Tina. Those little details grow into beautiful relationships and legacies even after death. The style of writing is very casual and conversational but also has its dance with poetry with the descriptions and imagery used. The last few pages of the story are so grand and finally peaceful, I think it has changed my view of death permanently.
My only negative remark is that this story was too short. Most likely a nod to the story of a cancer that caused the sun to set too soon on an amazing couple's time together.

[Linds · Rating 4 out of 5]

It took me longer than expected to finish this one, mostly because I needed to take breaks. It’s one of those emotional roller coaster books that hits hard for anyone that has lost a loved one to cancer or another heinous disease.

[Alexis Petrak · Rating 4 out of 5]

While in college Dan Brady didn't know what he was doing. Rather than taking classes to go towards a career that fueled his passion he was taking classes that he needed for a degree because, well, he wasn't sure that he had a passion. However, everything began to fall into place when he met Tina in a bookstore. Fast-forward 13 years and you find Dan and Tina married and living a happy life. Tina is the light in his world and she is helping him become a better man as each day passes. The next step in their relationship is to start a family causing Tina to get rid of her birth control pills. However, shortly after, life threw an unexpected curveball at them. Tina was diagnosed with a terminal illness at the young age of 33. This story follows the couple during the last few months of Tina's life and the turmoil that Dan is left to face once she is gone.

I just want to take a moment to thank the author, Jason Pellegrini, for gifting me this advanced reader's copy. This was the first novella that I have read by him and I can definitely say that it won't be my last. This is truly an incredible novella; I read it within a couple of hours and although my heart was breaking down to my very soul I couldn't stop reading it even for a moment.

On GoodReads I rated this novella a 4/5 for many reasons. This story is about what a lot of people go through when they find out that someone they love has a terminal illness. It talks about grief, pain, loss, happiness, closure; all of the things that come along with being left behind when it feels like a piece of you has been stolen forever. The characters are amazing! I became so attached to Tina while reading this which made the fact that she dies even harder to bare. To be honest, she reminded me a lot of myself with her love for books and her witty remarks. There were so many times when I was reading this that I was reminded of conversations that have happened in my own life while talking to people I know. Dan is very lovable and it is so clear that he loves Tina with everything in him. Watching him go through what he did in this story was so heartbreaking at times but in a way that is understandable. He is human, after all. This novella is written from Dan's perspective so you get to feel his raw emotion coming through throughout the story which makes him relatable. This novella truly made me feel every emotion. I was happy to the point where I chuckled out loud, I was shocked, I was sad to the point where I had actual tears in my eyes, and most of all I felt so much love shining through this story. One of the things that I liked most was the fact that the feelings and emotions were not sugar coated in any way. This is truly an emotional roller coaster of a story so make sure you buckle up and keep a box of tissues close by.

This novella is released on October 29, 2019 please keep a lookout for it! I highly recommend it to everyone!

[Katia Ibáñez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Esta novela te llega al corazón, especialmente si has pasado la muerte de alguna persona cercana. Te hace revivir todos los momentos de ira, frustración y amargura que puedes haber sentido al recibir la noticia de que ese ser amado ha sido diagnosticado con cáncer y que le queda poco tiempo de vida. Pero así como te remueve esos sentimientos, también te llena de tranquilidad, paz y mucho amor con la partida de esa persona tan querida. Propone una muy linda manera de ver esa transición; me encantó como el autor completa la frase del título, desde una perspectiva diferente.
Me gustó mucho la forma en que está escrito, se siente muy real y el lector se puede identificar totalmente con la situación y los sentimientos del personaje. Preparen los tissues porque puede que derramen alguna lágrima por ahí.

[Margo Spencer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book wrecked my emotions in the best way possible. I can't remember a single story bringing me to tears harder than 'If I Could Have Lived Another Day'. It encapsulates the perfect combination of heartbreaking and beautiful. It leaves you feeling fulfilled as a reader and more importantly filled with hope as a human being.

Jason Pellegrini has really outdone himself with this one. This story is so raw with human emotion that you forget you're reading a work of fiction and believe that these people are real, and not only real, but that these are people you know and love. Pellegrini also manages to bridge that gap between writer and storyteller, because the writing itself is Pellegrini's best to date.

It can be argued that it too early to make this claim, that the story is too fresh with me, but not only is 'If I Could Have Lived Another Day' my favorite Jason Pellegrini story, but it might be one of my favorite stories, ever, period. It definitely is my favorite story from 2019. That is without question. It undoubtedly cements Pellegrini as an author I can rely on to deliver one hell of a ride, no matter what type of story or genre he chooses to explore. He has proven 4 times over already that he can evolve and change without straying away from what makes his storytelling so damn good. There is only up, wayyyyyy up, for this man's career.

As for 'If I could Have Lived Another Day', I think it goes without saying that this one is a MUST READ!

[Malerie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! That's the only opening I can think appropriate for this story right now... wow!

I got a digital advanced readers copy of Jason Pellegrini's latest, If I Could Have Lived Another Day, yesterday evening (preordered my physical copy days ago) and was finished with it by the time I went to bed. One reason for this being that the story is short, but the length is secondary to the fact that I just did not want to put this story down. It may be short but it packs one hell of a punch. It left me in tears throughout, especially the latter part of it. Both happy and sad.

Pellegrini has a way with developing his characters. Just like his previous works, which I also found difficult to put down respectfully, the heart and soul of this story is found in the characters. The two main characters are the driving force of the story. As for the story itself, I love that it's not your cookie cutter tragic love/loss story. This story is very human, especially how the narrator deals with his wife's illness. I loved the climax, too. It was so beautiful and unique. I can't go into it any deeper without spoiling. All I can say is just pick this story up. It will leave you feeling things you may not have felt in a very long while for a book.

5-stars!!!!

[Samantha · Rating 4 out of 5]

If I Could Have Lived Another Day is Jason Pellegrini’s finest work to date. It is a beautifully touching look at love, sickness, grief, & acceptance. The reader is given an intimate look into a couple’s relationship from charming start to tragic end.

Pellegrini’s skills in character development are on full display in this novella. Writing as Dan, we are given an immersive look into the lives of the main characters. We see Dan’s life through his eyes, hear the tinkling of Tina’s wind chimes through his ears, & smell all the fragrances that permeate his life. Dan is completely open with the reader in discussing his struggle to find his place in the world, the relationship that flourishes between himself & Tina, and the helplessness he experiences when the love of his life is diagnosed with, & later passes away from, cancer.

Pellegrini’s latest work was a difficult book to put down. If I hadn’t, I probably would have finished it in one day. This book is a gentle reminder to stop & appreciate the life you have & hold those you love a little closer. 10/10

[Rita · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the story of Dan and Tina. Two people who meet, fall in love and marry living full busy lives together only to part far too early and under heartbreaking circumstances. Tina is diagnosed with the big C. She has cancer.

Written from the perspective of the husband Dan. Be prepared for all the feels with this story from the everyday heartache of knowing loss is imminent to the outright rage at such a cruel fate and right through to death where Dan experiences an amazing encounter that helps him to accept his loss.
Be prepared to walk alongside Dan and feel all the emotions, from disbelief to anger, from heartbreak to acceptance.

Jason brings a hard to accept subject to the fore and he does it with grace and skill. Pick up this novella, grab a coffee and take a couple of hours to read Dan's story. Well worth your time. An emotional but beautifully readable story. I highly recommend.

[Bryan Barth · Rating 4 out of 5]

This story had me from the very first line, "Fuck cancer", all the way to the end.

Pellegrini takes his readers on an emotional roller coaster of love, passion, pain, and tragedy. Throughout reading I found myself unable to stop as the main character, Dan, took me with him on his journey. I also found the ending to be distinctly satisfying in that it wasn't exactly what I expected but it was exactly what I wanted.

As someone who generally reads a lot of horror this was a beautiful change of pace and I would recommend it to anyone. By the time you put it down you will feel as if you want to do some soul searching yourself!

[Laurie Kennedy · Rating 4 out of 5]

A heartfelt depiction of the shock and dismay one feels when standing next to someone they love while they are shocked, suffer and ultimately die. It's impossible to understand unless you've experienced the suffering and death of someone you deeply love and Jason's words expressed the true essence of the experience. I experienced this in recent years and his illustration was spot on. The helplessness strangles you and makes you feel like you're drowning and can't come up for air before another wave crashes down. It's a constant stress like none other.

[Gretta Steffens · Rating 5 out of 5]

Somewhere there are the perfect words to describe the gamut of emotions this story put me through from beginning to end. I'm not sure I can express them or give the author the justified praise. This story was incredibly, believably written and I both loved it and hated it for making me cry, making me remember, making me wish. I felt envy, longing, joy, pain, anger, sorrow, hope and despair as I read this expression of true love.

[Kelly Mclaughlin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book gripped me right from the beginning. It was a tear-your-soul out good read! The way with which Pellegrini pulls you into the lives of these characters is unlike any other book that I've read. An author's ability to pull on my emotions is a sign of an incredible book and this book did just that. This book would make anyone want a love like that shared between the main characters. I highly recommend it. My only complaint is that it was too short!

[Catherine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fuck cancer. Gut wrenching and soul snatching yet hopeful. Lots of tears

[Valerie · Rating 5 out of 5]

You think this is a story of loss but it also is a story of love! A truly touching story! It touched me in a way that is hard to put into words! This is one you’ll be thinking about for days...

[Samy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautiful take on a loved one passing on. Written well, like a story from a personal friend.

[RBS · Rating 4 out of 5]

If I Could Have Lived Another Day, is story about life, and tragedies that one must face and the pain that one endures when life can be cruel. When Dan meets the love of his life Tina, a storybook romance is sure to follow, it becomes a bitter sweet story sometimes a little to bitter sweet as Dan tries to except his wives diagnosis, and the life and dreams that will change forever. The author does an excellent job at peeling away the layers of Dan’s emotions showing his vulnerability and his strength. The story is told through the point of view of Dan. We see and feel as he does. But at moments he tells the audience what happens before it happens when he fears the worse, which feels like its robbing a tense moment, a moment that you would allow the reader to be able to truly feel what he is feeling. Through Dan’s narration we learn about his life and how he is trying to deal with the challenges he is faced with and how he tries to overcome his grief, but at times he drags the scene on; However, If I Could Live Another Day has some amazing prose, tense moments and great bits of dialogue that capture a realism not just to the characters but to life itself. It is good story.

[Tracy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the first book I have read in a long time that brought tears to my eyes as I read it. Not once. Not twice. But several times.

It’s the story of love. The one great love everyone hopes and wishes to have. Some of us get it right the first time. For others, it takes a few tries. And for some, it just doesn’t come. Told from the husband’s point of view, it’s a side you don’t see often when talking about that one great love. But at the same time, it’s one that should be told more often.

I smiled at the telling of how they met. I cried when reading of the pain and diagnosis. I held it together (barely!) when her life came to an end. And cried more during the night he buried his wife. And through it all, I recognized that we all will go through what Dan went through in our lives and that this is really the story of us. Maybe not the diagnosis, but it’s definitely life we share together with each other.

Jason wrote a relevant and engaging story that made me sit and think about my own life. What am I doing to make sure my family knows I love them. What do I want to do before my life is over. How do I make sure I’ve lived my life to the fullest.

[Kerilynne · Rating 3 out of 5]

“I’ve never claimed to be a writer, which I am sure you may have already picked up on. I am merely a widower, letting out what’s in his brain, unfiltered, as it comes pouring out.”

If I Could Have Lived Another Day is a novella by Jason Pellegrini about a husband’s experience through the unimaginable onset of his young wife’s terminal cancer and her death.

Dan writes the story of his wife, Tina, and her last few months with brain cancer. It is unclear who Dan is writing to in the book. Is it his journal? Is he he telling it to someone? At times, briefly, the narration slips from Dan’s first person to second person as if he is asking the readers to ponder the situation for themselves. This change in perspective brought me out of the novel for those fleeting moments.

I enjoyed the novel. It felt genuine as if I was reading a grieving husband’s journal. Dan’s questioning of the situation, his memories of the life’s moments together, and his heartache were all present. It’s intimate and not a story very often especially in fiction.

[JJ Broenner · Rating 4 out of 5]

A tragic love story that exemplifies the bond that can develop between two adults during a relationship. Tragedy doesn’t change that love and bond and it remains even after one of the partner dies. Sounds, smells and articles of clothing left behind can be a connection for the brain to maintain the memories or maybe something more supernatural in essence.

[Norma · Rating 5 out of 5]

I never cried with a book the way I cried with this, a very touching story, beautifully written. It cost me a lot to finish it but I don't regret chosen it, the author is versatile, every book it's different and I expect to read another soon.

[Andy Dutton · Rating 5 out of 5]

So many thoughts, I want to race to get them all down! First though, I must thank Jason again for allowing me a pre-release copy of this novella in exchange for a review!

So where to begin - perhaps with my own agenda going into this book. I decided to ignore the synopsis entirely, and just read with no pre-conceptions. It’s quite a strange feeling to start a story with no concept or idea of where it’s going to end up. Then, within the first two words of the book, you know exactly where it’s going. I think each and every one of us has been affected by cancer, either directly, or very close to directly. In fact, it just so happened that I read this book on the second anniversary of my mother in laws passing...and yes, it was cancer too. That little coincidence actually gave this book a little more weight.

Stylistically, this book was phenomenal - I actually believed I was reading a memoir of Jason Pellegrini, and the fact that I wasn’t, I am intrigued to know who Jason spoke to first hand to get some of the grittier, meaner details of grief down on paper. Everything written truly resonated with the journey my wife has been on over the last couple of years. I noted the dedication in the front of the book was to someone dear to Jason, taken too soon - perhaps this is a memoir of sorts.

This book takes place over two parts, and I think that one of the chapters neatly highlights when you have entered part two. Part one sets the ground, and part two blows you away! Part one sets the melancholy tone, and part two smashes you with emotion.

Essentially, Jason Pellegrini is dealing with matters of the after life here, without ever explicitly stating his religious allegiance. As a Christian reading this book, I felt that the way in which the after life was spoken about was brilliantly articulate, non-offensive to any person of faith, beautifully hopeful and emotionally tasteful. Regardless of our individual beliefs, if the end happens the way Jason describes it, I think we’d all be suitably happy with this theory.

The thing that most powerfully demonstrates the quality of this read, is the urgent need to hug your loved ones a little bit tighter, a little bit longer, and a little bit right now! This book could be the answer for failing marriages, for bereft spouses, and warring families.

At 126 pages, this was the perfect length for a topic of this nature. In no way over indulgent with its relationship building (Dan and Tina are every couple - all of us) and not gratuitous in its descriptions of demise, this book hit the perfect balance of its poignance.

So now you’ve read this review, go read the book. Then go give your wife a squeeze, exactly the way you would if it was your last chance to do so. And then do that every day for the rest of your lives.

Thank you, Jason, for an important message to all of us! I can’t recommend this read highly enough!

[A. Jental Heart · Rating 5 out of 5]

Prior to reading If I Could Have Lived Another Day by Jason Pellegrini, I had never before read something that so accurately and hauntingly paints a picture of cancer.
As a survivor i can honestly say that Pellegrini has done a beautiful job of capturing and narrating this vile, devastating disease. He was able to help me view things as my own husband and children must have, and it was incredibly eye opening.
I keep going back to this quote : "you can rightfully place blame on and direct your ire at the real villain; the heinous disease that raped the person you love and ate away at them until their mind and body could withstand it no longer."
Goosebumps....
This story is a novella that reads like poetry, and, in my opinion, is Pellegrinis' finest work yet. It is as much a story as it is a fine peice of art.

[Katherine Martinez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finished reading "If I Could Have Lived Another Day" by @jpellegrini1983 and I thank him for giving me the opportunity to read this. This book is beautifully written and had me hugging my husband every time he came home. I have to say I read this with a frog in my throat and tears in my eyes. Jason does a great job at capturing what this horrible disease does not just to the person who has it but to the people who care for them and their family. There are so many great quotes in this story and here is one that I like: “That’s why it’s called loss,” she said, finally. “No matter how much time passes, we never get back what it was that was taken from us. That doesn’t mean we should stop living, though. We don’t stop pushing through. Not ever. We stitch up our wounds the best we can and we continue on.”

[Lindsey Baird-Waugh · Rating 4 out of 5]

*** I received this book free of charge in exchange for an honest review ***

What can I say. This book is well written. Emotional and just all over raw.

This book follows Dan, who dose not really know what to do with his life. Then he meet the love off his life and we fast forward to married life.

Unfortunately, cancer strikes. And he has to watch her life change and then being taken away from her.

I feel Jason has first hand knowledge about the book or a friend may have told him about what it's like.

This book will make you cry. Laugh. And just feel. I'd like to feel this book will be for everyone however theres going to be a few out there this book is to raw for.

I would recommend. Enjoy and thank you Jason for the book. Keep up the good work.

[Melissa Grantham · Rating 5 out of 5]

With his latest book, Jason Pellegrini continues to amaze with his incomparable range of storytelling. I’ve always loved how Pellegrini refuses to pin himself to one genre, and If I Could Have Lived Another Day further proves why he shouldn’t. Having myself been a caregiver of a loved one who died too young, I was amazed at how well Pellegrini could so clearly illustrate the grief process, and also the hope that comes after. But that’s what Pellegrini does best-whether within a murder mystery or a love story, it’s the complexity of the human condition that is at the heart of all his stories, told through a cast of characters who are truly well-rounded, real, and relatable.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book had my attention from the opening line and hooked me immediately. It was hard to put down & I couldn’t wait to pick up where I left off each time I had some time to read. It made me think, taught me important lessons about life after loss and brought me to tears in public. I don’t usually loan out fictional treasures like this one but will make an exception with If I Could Have Lived Another Day. Everyone whose experienced an earth-shattering loss must read this book, even if the loss occurred many years ago.

[Renee Squid · Rating 5 out of 5]

Although If I Could Have Lived Another Day is not my personal favorite story of Jason Pellegrini, I can absolutely see how it will be others’. It shows maturity as a writer and a person; the depth of emotion and the accuracy of detail are staggering. I was immediately drawn in to the story. Those who have suffered loss at the hands of cancer will undoubtedly find catharsis in this novella.

I continue to be impressed by the scope of subject matter Jason can embrace. I highly recommend readers check out his other titles as well.