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Why Can't I Fall in Love? A 12-Step Program
"Something's missing in my life." "Everyone I meet is imperfect." "I date and date, but I just can't commit." "I'm so busy all the time." "Who needs love, anyway?" Sound familiar? For every such plea, Shmuley Boteach -- author of the international bestseller Kosher Sex -- has the answer. In Why Can't I Fall in Love? Boteach blends time-honored wisdom with practical tips and anecdotes from his private counseling practice. Boteach presents a radical program designed to help singles (and even those in long-term relationships) make their dreams of love a reality.
304 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2001
26 people want to read
About the author
Shmuley Boteach
47 books70 followersRabbi Shmuley Boteach, named by Talkers Magazine as one of the 100 most important radio hosts in America, is a nationally syndicated talk show host, the international best-selling author of 15 books, and an acclaimed syndicated columnist.
A winner of the London Times highly prestigious "Preacher of the Year" award, Rabbi Shmuley has lectured and appeared in print, radio, and TV all over the globe. His radio show, "Rabbi Shmuley's Passion," airs daily on Bonneville Broadcasting in afternoon drive-time.
He is the author of a number of books, including "Kosher Sex: A Recipe for Passion and Intimacy," "Dating Secrets of the Ten Commandments," "Why Can't I Fall in Love," "Judaism for Everyone: Renewing your Life through the Vibrant Lessons of the Jewish Faith," and most recently, "Hating Women: America's Hostile Campaign Against the Fairer Sex." A winner of the annual "preacher of the year" contest sponsored by the Times of London, he was formerly rabbi of Oxford University.
Shmuley—he is known universally by his first name, has marketed himself as a rabbi to the stars and an expert on Jewish attitudes toward relationships and marriage. ("Dr. Ruth with a yarmulke," the Washington Post called him.)
A winner of the London Times highly prestigious "Preacher of the Year" award, Rabbi Shmuley has lectured and appeared in print, radio, and TV all over the globe. His radio show, "Rabbi Shmuley's Passion," airs daily on Bonneville Broadcasting in afternoon drive-time.
He is the author of a number of books, including "Kosher Sex: A Recipe for Passion and Intimacy," "Dating Secrets of the Ten Commandments," "Why Can't I Fall in Love," "Judaism for Everyone: Renewing your Life through the Vibrant Lessons of the Jewish Faith," and most recently, "Hating Women: America's Hostile Campaign Against the Fairer Sex." A winner of the annual "preacher of the year" contest sponsored by the Times of London, he was formerly rabbi of Oxford University.
Shmuley—he is known universally by his first name, has marketed himself as a rabbi to the stars and an expert on Jewish attitudes toward relationships and marriage. ("Dr. Ruth with a yarmulke," the Washington Post called him.)
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
October 13, 2019
When I first saw the title of this book, I was intrigued. What could such a book be about? So, it got added to the list of books I wanted to read.
I finally got the chance.
So, what is it about? It seems that it is primarily directed at an audience of singles who date – a lot but can’t seem to settle on one person to marry. I hardly know anybody who falls into that category. But apparently, there are some. From the stories in this book, many of them seem to be successful business people who are well-off financially and can afford to go out a lot, but who are either so focused on their work that they don’t have time for real relationships, or they are over-critical of potential partners, not wanting to commit to any one particular partner for fear of missing out on somebody better.
Much of this book is really funny. But there is some good advice here too. There is even some advice for people who are already married but who have lost their spark – or who never had it to begin with.
There is some different relationship advice here from what you might find in some other books. For one thing, Rabbi Boteach believes that the prototypical couple was Adam and Eve. Despite their early problems (what with getting kicked out of Eden, and problems with their children), he points out that they lived some 900 years after leaving Eden, and must have had a large number of children, although the only one other than Cain and Abel that is mentioned in the Bible is Seth. His theory is that it was the hardships of life after Eden that caused Adam and Eve to really develop a strong marriage. And his advice to young singles is to go on and commit to a relationship, and the vicissitudes of life will themselves ensure that they can develop a loving relationship if they decide to make it work.
I finally got the chance.
So, what is it about? It seems that it is primarily directed at an audience of singles who date – a lot but can’t seem to settle on one person to marry. I hardly know anybody who falls into that category. But apparently, there are some. From the stories in this book, many of them seem to be successful business people who are well-off financially and can afford to go out a lot, but who are either so focused on their work that they don’t have time for real relationships, or they are over-critical of potential partners, not wanting to commit to any one particular partner for fear of missing out on somebody better.
Much of this book is really funny. But there is some good advice here too. There is even some advice for people who are already married but who have lost their spark – or who never had it to begin with.
There is some different relationship advice here from what you might find in some other books. For one thing, Rabbi Boteach believes that the prototypical couple was Adam and Eve. Despite their early problems (what with getting kicked out of Eden, and problems with their children), he points out that they lived some 900 years after leaving Eden, and must have had a large number of children, although the only one other than Cain and Abel that is mentioned in the Bible is Seth. His theory is that it was the hardships of life after Eden that caused Adam and Eve to really develop a strong marriage. And his advice to young singles is to go on and commit to a relationship, and the vicissitudes of life will themselves ensure that they can develop a loving relationship if they decide to make it work.
June 19, 2020
The book saved me - after I read it the next person I met was my husband who I’ve had 3 children with and have been happily married to for 17 years! If you’re looking for love you must read this!!!!
September 18, 2023
What I love about this book is that it is open and unreserved in it's countercultural stance on dating. With such openness the reader is able to engage with his thoughts freely, without fearing that we're reading the watered-down version. To me, who enjoys exploring wildly different viewpoints, it was quite an enjoyable (not to mention hilarious) read.
I give 3 stars because the intense amount of heternormative language and some archaic views on gender roles. Gay people are real, and we acknowledge and love them, and not all men and women the archetype characters from the 18th century... but we as the reader can filter such things out.
I give 3 stars because the intense amount of heternormative language and some archaic views on gender roles. Gay people are real, and we acknowledge and love them, and not all men and women the archetype characters from the 18th century... but we as the reader can filter such things out.
August 22, 2009
My lil' sis is making every single person she knows read this book. That means me especially, but not quite as much as her boyfriend. Why not? I'm game.
I skimmed this and I think it doesn't apply to me. This is for people who go through serial relationships without commitment. On the self assessments, i came out with a pretty healthy attitude about long term relationships. I think recovering from a concussion and becoming more aware and talkative is probably going to do me more good than this book.
That said, a divorced friend of mine is in a serious relationship, but terrified of committing since her rather messy divorce. I am going to lend it to her. I think she is the correct audience for it.
I skimmed this and I think it doesn't apply to me. This is for people who go through serial relationships without commitment. On the self assessments, i came out with a pretty healthy attitude about long term relationships. I think recovering from a concussion and becoming more aware and talkative is probably going to do me more good than this book.
That said, a divorced friend of mine is in a serious relationship, but terrified of committing since her rather messy divorce. I am going to lend it to her. I think she is the correct audience for it.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews